Canada Leaders' Debate Review

I should have wished I won the lottery. Or the Mercedes Benz draw my bank is having.

I was watching the Canadian Leaders' Debate on TV tonight. This one was in English. Jack Layton, the leader of NDP (our Ralph Nader, remember) asked Martin how he could improve our healthcare when immigrant doctors were driving taxis. At that moment I wished someone would ask this question again. Boom! The very next question they had a guy from Ontario, some Mr Sultani, ask the Prime Minister of Canada why they don't recognize immigrants' skills and qualifications and why they had to struggle.

This is very important - in Canada the first generation immigrants always have to struggle to establish themselves - it's their kids who get the fruits of Canada, should they wish. BTW Mr Sultani spoke from his living room which appeared well furnished. Yeah, I notice these things.

I was wrong here when I said the debates would be boring. They were not. I heard yesterday's French debates were boring. There was no such problem today. The English debate contained some good fireworks.

Harper: How can Mr Martin be concerned about my private advertisor's money when he misused the public advertisement money? Zing!!!!

Martin: I went on American TV and told the Americans they were wrong (on softwood lumber dispute). Mr Harper went on American TV and told them we (Canadians) were wrong (on Iraq). Take that, huh, huh, uhuh?!

Martin (to Duceppe, the French guy): My kids are born and raised in Quebec and you are not going to take their country away with some backhanded vote. Zing zang zoom!

There was also one unbelievable comment.

Layton: I believe if there were more women in Parliament, it would be less rowdy.

This from the guy who is married to Olivia Chow. Jack, Jack, you haven't met some of the women I know. Women have a lot of ideas and are often, um, more vocal advocates of their positions then men. As Antonia says on her blog, "maybe that's because they're stuck in the back benches, Jack".

And then the gaffe.

Duceppe: Even if I want a sovereign Quebec... Ok, so long bye bye. Don't let the door hit you on the way out, Gille!

My general impression would be that Martin won the debate over all. Harper started well but he remained in that monotone emotionless state. Imagine a robot talking. That's him. It starts off in an interesting manner but then you hear the same speech again and again. No passion. Martin demonstrated proper emotion when required (i.e. Quebec separation, Americans, Canada's future). These were issues when Harper could have done something, but instead he went back to reading his notes.

Martin started winning it from when he was talked about healthcare benchmarks and continued to rise from there. When asked on his record and politician's promises, Martin replied, "Last time I promised to do something about fixing healthcare. I said I would have a conference with the premiers, I did that. I said we would have healthcare benchmarks within 2 years, and we got them within 1 year."

Then came his moment. Duceppe (our French separatist guy), who was coasting so far by insulting the Liberals, completely became unstuck by Martin's vigorous attack on him. When talking about the Clarity Act, Martin passionately advocated a Quebecor's love of Canada and warned Duceppe about stealing his country from him via some obscure and abstract referendum. From that moment on, Duceppe was a rambler, repeating his statements and lost whatever coherency he had in the English debate. You had to see it to believe it.

Martin even managed to convert me over to his day care plan. The Conservatives argued that giving everyone money (very little of it) was good as we were giving them choice. I liked it as it would mean $1200 per year per kid. And as we know, we desis have a lot of ...

But Martin then asked the question, "giving money is fine to those who have daycare. But what about those who cannot find anyone to care for their kids? Who will look after them? Your plan won't create spaces for them, and the money is not enough to pay for daycare. My plan will make spaces for them."

Layton was Layton. He wants to solve all of Canada's problems and ills and tax everyone to do it. Rich pay for the poor. Stand up for everyman. Noble, unrealistic. I like his party. I really do like him. But I just can't find myself that leftwing.

Duceppe lost it when Martin ambushed him on Clarity Act. He kept rambling and repeating from then on.

Martin's line, "Who thought we would be debating surpluses" shows how good Canada's economy is. So, Liberals, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Tags: Canada Election Debate Paul Martin

Representing Your Culture

Do you remember one of the lists that used to be the regular part of email forwards during the early days of the internet, one that had a title called "You Know You Are A Desi When ... "? That list, plus Sardar jokes, Bill Clinon jokes and 'Why Computers Are Female' used to form the staple diet of my inbox in those days (ah, 90s nostalgia). But one of my relatives who discovered the internet like yesterday sent me one such email.

"Hey look what I discovered on the net, pretty funny, ALL ARE SO TRUE!!" Ya, R--- Apu, thank you very much. Welcome to the 1995s. I would have pressed the 'Delete' button but one item on the list caught my eye.

"You know you are a desi when you speak to foreigners you act as if you represent your entire culture."

This is SO TRUE. OMG. I sound like R--- Apu.

I am taking this evening class called Advanced Database Design. It consists of mostly middle aged people who have suddenly decided Database Design is the way to go, even though they are like, in Marketing. The only guy below 25 is me. They are all pretty nice folks, and yesterday, after our evening class was over, everyone decided we should have an official Christmas party/dinner after our last class. We started to debate the nearby restaurants and where to go.

"Chinese? No, we have that too often. How about Greek? No, ok what about ... ?" and so on it went, until one guy suddenly blurted, "Hey, I KNOW!! Why don't we have INDIAN food?"

As if on cue, EVERYone turned to look at me. And I am not even Indian. Close enough, it would appear. Just because I was brown, I am expected to have a Top 10 review of all Indian restaurants within a 10 km radius.

There was the time I was with a few friends in Montreal and we went for Italian food. That restaurant seemed to have pork and alcohol in every dish, so I stuck to the seafood (yucky looking mussels, shrimps, some barely cooked salmon and oysters). My friend's girlfriend (they are Tamil) saw my plate and automatically concluded, "Oh fish? Ya, I heard you Bengalis have a thing for fish." In this instance I am not the regular Bong, I LOVE meat. Fish I can barely tolerate. Now, whenever I am invited to my friend's place, his girlfriend (now wife) cooks fish. And since they are Tamil, the fish tends to be really spicy. Trust me, you don't want to go there. Jhaal Bighead cooked in Telapia Style *shivers*.

Then there was one Irish electrical engineer at my last job for whom we were developing a computer system. He had to explain this mathematical chart called Dry Bulb Enthalpy to me. Instead he goes, "oh I don't have to explain the formula to you, I heard South Asians are good at mathematics." What was I supposed to say to him, "I'm sorry I'm the dumb one. But seeing you are Irish you are probably drunk anyways." I mean if someone is stereotyping you but in the GOOD way is that racism? Is there such a thing called 'affirmative racism'?

In that respect I let his good opinion of desis continue while I googled later for what I needed.

The biggest debacle is when someone picks up something you did and concludes its Muslim culture. I have a bad habit of separating caspicum from my rice in any dish. I hate caspicum. My Jewish buddy sees me do this and exclaims, "See? We Jews and you muslims have very similar laws. I cannot eat fish, milk and meat together, and you guys apparently cannot eat rice and caspicum together. We have a lot of similarities."

If the menu was the only problem in the Middle East we would be living in a better world.

Tags: Desi Culture

16th December: Commemorate And Move On?

Tomorrow will be 16th December, a day Bangladeshis celebrate as Victory Day, when the the Pakistani occupying forces surrendered to the joint Indian-Bangladesh forces. I am not a very nationalistic person and I consider Canada to be more of my home than Bangladesh, and usually hate to dredge up past conflicts as they can cause a lot of acrimony and achieve nothing fruitful. However a lot of Bengalis have very conflicting emotions and attitudes about the day. Many get very patriotic, and start blaming the Pakistani kids of today, who had nothing to do with what their fathers' generation did, for all the ills of the war and beyond. Other Bengalis go the opposite way, claiming it's all in the past and completely ignoring the enormous sacrifices made by their fathers and mothers.

I believe 'Forgive But Not Forget' should be the motto today. If Bengalis did indeed want to punish the collaborators and perpetrators of the horrific crimes of 1971, the days after the victory in the Liberation war was the way to go forward. Trials like the Nuremberg Nazi ones would have been the way to go. Unfortunately Sheikh Mujib chose not to go that route, instead trying to obtain recognition from other Muslim leaders for his new country (and funding to go with it). Their main condition - forgive and forget Pakistan - which Mujib did in 1974, and Pakistan also recognized Bangladesh. To be fair, Mujib had no choice as the country was devastated, and it laid the foundation for good relations between Pakistan and Bangladesh ever since. Ironically, Israel was the second country, after India, to recognize Bangladesh and raise the issue of the genocide on the world stage. All the Muslim leaders and the US chose to support Yahya Khan. Today the Bangladeshi passport reads 'Valid In All Countries Except Israel'.

Today there is no reason to go Pakistan bashing. The crimes of 1971 were committed by a ruling elite, who forbade their own press from covering the genocide, told their own people in West Pakistan everything was fine and the army was just dealing with a few insurgents in East Pakistan, invoked religion as an excuse to oppress people, blamed neighbouring India for instigating trouble and put draconian laws to take away rights in the name of security. Today, the Bangladesh government sees no problem in phone tapping and killing people without fair trial.

Today, Pakistan and Bangladesh have a lot to learn from each other. We have yet to taste the fruit of true democracy. Our culture and development lags behind India. This year, during the D-Day celebrations, the German chancellor was invited to the commemoration. He gave a speech renouncing the Nazi genocide and the other leaders, former foes and now friends, applauded. There was closure. What is the chance of the Prime Minister of Pakistan paying a visit tomorrow to Bangladesh, apologizing for 1971, and the Prime Minister of Bangladesh accepting the apology and moving on?

Sadly, in our countries, rattling about a foreign 'foe' and imaginary issues on which nothing can be done is a good way to distract the masses from the real issues such as corruption, poverty and crime.

A few links:

• Genocide Study of Bangladesh, 1971.
  
• The famed Hamoodur Rahman Commission Report. This was an internal enquiry done by the Pakistani authorities after 1971, and then classified top secret, before an Indian newspaper found out about it.
  
• Wikipedia: Bangladesh-Pakistan war, 1971.
  
• On this day, Dec 3: India joins the war, by BBC.
  

Tags: Bangladesh 1971 Pakistan 16 December

Wudu How Do You Do

Washing of feet during wudu - if there is one custom of Islam that I wish I could explain better at times it would be this. Now I know religion is perfect as it is revealed so don't go all 'infidel' on me, but doing wudu in Canadian washrooms can sometimes lead to interesting situations.

For the uninitiated, wudu is ablution that all Muslims have to do before saying the ritual prayers. It's terribly easy, and involves washing hands till the elbows, sprinkling water on the face and feet (to the ankles). In most Muslim countries, public washrooms have facilities to sit down and wash your feet. In fact the public washrooms at Niagara Falls on the Canadian side, behind the Journey Behind the Falls ticket booths, have such facilities. But most washrooms are normal, and therefore you have to ... improvise.

Now your imaan (faith) may be strong, but when you enter the washroom at the office for wudu purposes you will always be hoping that there is no one there. OK, the prayer seems to be (temporarily) answered. Wash hands. Check. Sprinkle water on face. Done. Taking care, like a good Muslim, not to splash water and keep things tidy and clean. Now for the feet.

Just at the moment when one sock is off and you are in the crouching flamingo position, balanced precariously on one leg as the other leg is raised as you touch your wet hands on the feet, at that position, someone will enter the washroom.

Or you know, you enter the washroom and the only guy in it is inside a stall, reading the Daily News while doing his Daily 'Downloading'. You proceed to your wudu, wondering all the time what on earth he had for lunch instead of saying your zikrs, and the guy will exit JUST at the moment when you are about to do your feet. It does not matter he stinks and has toilet roll stuck to his boots, he will ask you what you are upto.

This is a good time to tell him a little about Islam and that you are only washing your feet as you want to pray, but that is not the 'cool' answer, is it? I remember once I was in Heathrow airport, London, UK, on the way back to Toronto. I entered the washroom to do wudu. Naturally it wasn't empty, but no one paid any attention to me. All except one Italian gentleman who stood right next to me and asked, "What are you doing?"

It was not a hostile "Go back to your homeland" tone, but a rather polite and genuinely curious tone. And ofcourse I lied.

"Well, you see on long flights, your feet tend to get swollen. It's called thrombosis of the vertebrae. You can get rid of it by sprinkling your feet with cold water."

"Ah," his eyes lit up. "I have that problem too!"

And the guy just rolled up his trousers, took off his shoes and socks and proceeded to do just what I was doing! Just to spite him, I repeated my whole wudu. The poor guy followed my every act. In my defense it was the evil of (extreme) youth that made me do it.

Sometimes the truth may just be simpler, and most people stop bugging you if you say the magic word of religion. And to be fair, all religions have customs that make other people go, "WHaaaat?" I have never gotten around to understanding the 'breaking of a coconut in India on getting a new car' thing.

Tags: Wudu

Australian Race Riots And Canada

As I watch the news reports of the racial riots in Australia, one question keeps rising uncomfortably. Could this happen here, in Canada?

To recap, thousands of young, white men, chanting anti-Arab slogans, carrying beer bottles and waving Australian flags, attacked both people of Middle Eastern origin and police during a violent clash in Sydney on Sunday. They congregated via text messages and had slogans such as "We grew here, you flew here", and "100% Aussie". CTV news report here. Such incidents, as is prone in riots, do not go unanswered, and today, retaliatory attacks are reported by CBC.

I was told by a white Canadian friend sometime back that 'when times are good, there are no problems'. Indeed, in 1998, riots broke out in Indonesia when the currency Rupiah collapsed. The more successful Chinese minority was the target. In recent Paris times, segregation, high unemployment and discrimination forced Paris Arab youth to riot.

Canada, however, is the only G7 country paying down their debt, running a surplus, has its lowest job rate in 31 years, a growing trade surplus and so on. Crime is low. Immigration is sustained at a controlled level. If you are an immigrant here, the first generation can suffer as their foreign qualifications are not recognized, but the following generations can integrate easily should they wish. High school education is free. Generous student loans and scholarships are available from the government to cover university tuition or college diplomas. Yes, times are good.

Yet times were good in Australia too. Or were they?

Many people, amongst them white, British, describe the Australian society as one with serious race issues. I have a few Australian cousins, and certainly they tell me the situation has continued to worsen ever since Paula Hanson's dirty politics. Taking a look at the comments section on the BBC, the following are excerpts of a few comments.

Australia has the same attitude to race relations that the UK had 20 years ago. - James, London.

Whilst travelling through Australia, I found it a common occurrence for ethnic minorities to be called "Wogs" ... - Savio, London.

Responsibility for the riots in Sydney has to go to the very top. A government that has deliberately courted voters who fear migrants can not be entirely blameless. - John Romalis, Chicago.

To be fair, I have no way of personally verifying these statements. Are they applicable in Canada? In Toronto, I would say no. We are the most diverse city in the world and have a great tradition of multiculturalism in Toronto. If, however, you travel just a bit outside Toronto, the population diversity drops to almost zero. How would people behave in a situation, such as Australia, where large number of Muslims were arrested on terrorism related charges, or there was, God forbid, a terrorist attack?

Let us remember, the victims of the bombing of Air India Flight 182 are yet to receive justice. Let us remember, this summer Toronto went through one of its worst summers in terms of gun related crimes. Mostly, it was black gang members killing other black members. Yet everyone seemed to get seriously involved only when a non-black member of the community, in this case a young Iranian salesperson, was shot to death. Why does the government not investigate the social reasons for these crimes? Most black people are good citizens and decent law-abiding people (Muslims, sound familiar?). Yet the concern seemed less when it was black-on-black violence. I have heard outrageous comments that there is a 'culture of violence' amongst black people.

A criminal is a criminal is a criminal. The government should arrest all criminals regardless of ethnicity. It seems in Sydney the police turned a blind eye to some antics against white women by some youth of Lebanese origin. Such acts provide fodder for neo-Nazi style supremacists to hit back. Similarly, the government in Canada should be vigilant against all crimes, regardless of race.

Let us remember, during World War 2, the Canadian government arrested large numbers of Canadians of Japanese and Italian origin and interned them. Pierre Trudeau, Canada's enigmatic PM during the October crisis of 1970, the same guy who brought us our Charter of Rights and Freedoms and opened up Canadian immigration to everyone, when answering the question of how far he would go to stop the terrorists, replied "Just watch me!"

Clearly a macho culture is not exclusive to Australians.

The recent Conservative party ads feature (the 'Crime' ad) an older woman telling Stephen Harper she is tired of seeing gang members and drug dealers walking down the street. How can you tell who a drug dealer and gang member is just by walking down the street? Harper's statement - criminals being deported and not leaving - is especially troubling, as it implies that the bulk of crimes are immigrant-based. This ad advocates stereotypes.

Tazzy wonders about terrorism in Toronto. As she points out, during the SARS crisis, all of us were guilty of treating the Chinese community badly. And they are a prominent, well established community in Canada.

I guess I am rambling, but these events just enforce my fear that the thread of life as we hold it is very fragile, able to snap any minute.

Tags: Australia Riots Muslims Canada Black Immigrants Toronto

Syriana: A Brilliant, Boring, Film

There are two statements that can be made about Syriana, the newly released movie starring George Clooney and Matt Damon.

As a film seeking to entertain, it fails. It's preachy, contains too much talk and not enough action, has too many characters and plots, and several dialogues are in foreign languages (Arabic, Urdu, Farsi). It's not a date movie.

As a film seeking to inform, it's brilliant. I found it riveting. It held my attention for most of the movie. It's realistic. Not a single frame can be said to be fake. And to a politically aware Muslim, this film is simply the best film of this year.

Watch this film if you want the following questions answered:

1. Where is the gas that you are pumping into your SUV coming from?
   
2. Why are there dictators in the middle east?
   
3. Why are there poor Arabs in the Middle East, when they are amongst of the richest nations in the world?
   
4. Why is America hated in many parts of the Muslim world?
   
5. What happens when there is unemployment in America?
   
6. What is the connection between the oil companies of Houston, the White House, the Arabs and the US military?
   
7. Where are reformers, the liberators of women, the nationalistic rulers in the Muslim world?
   
8. Why do some young, Muslim men commit to blowing themselves up?
   

Next time I meet some gung-ho cowboy telling me how his people are liberating people and fighting for democracy around the world, I will just point him to this movie. Whether he can sit through the movie is another question. It rams home some unfortunate and uncomfortable truths.

Too bad that those who are not politically inclined will find this movie long.

Tags: Syriana

So How's My Wife?

"So, how's my wife?"

My friend hands me a picture of his wife and asks, "So, what do you think?"

No, this is not something kinky. It's a common situation in desiworld, followed usually by an equally common and awkward pause. My friend had gone back to desiland and gotten married (usually the typically arranged marriage NTTAWWT*). Upon returning to Canada, we meet up, as he is waiting for his wife's visa before she can join him here. In the meanwhile, I am going through the wedding album. He picks out a picture of the wife and then asks, "So what do you think of your bhabi?"

You cannot come out and say "Oh man she's HOT! You hit the jackpot dude! Two thumbs up!" Nor can you say, "That is the bride?"

It's tough to really see how beautiful a bride is. All bridal pictures are the same. Tons of make up, gold, the reddest of red saris - any woman will look gorgeous in that getup. And you cannot ask, "No, show me a regulaaaar picture." So the best answer is usually, "ya she looks good, I guess. Congratulations." And then switch the conversation by asking him if he got back any pirated DVDs.

On another note *rant alert*, some desi moms seem to have this compulsive obsessive disorder of not marrying their daughter to a guy unless the guy is a doctor. Doctors start earning ten times what an average guy will earn as starting salary. But they are also typically (a lot) older than the average guy (like 10 years difference?). I mean, there's nothing wrong with a doctor, but why only a doctor? what's the big deal?

I am talking of my friend above (and no, it's not me, it's really this friend of mine from university). He liked one of the girls in our class, and after a lot of long distance one way sighs he plucked up the courage to talk to her. That turned to a full blown affair on MSN (we were comp sci after all). As we all hung out together, we could see that they really clicked. But when, in a desire to do it completely the halal way, an 'official' proposal was sent via a third party to the girl's parents, it got rejected. I found out later it was because the girl's mom wanted a doctor for her daughter. Someone who can keep her rich (and presumably happy).

Now financial stability is important, but why reject a good proposal? It's not that the guy is penniless, on the contrary he got a proper job in his field after graduation. Just he's not a doctor. And what was even puzzling was that the girl was completely OK with her mom's interference. Which all led to us wondering how serious was the love anyways.

One of the Hadith (sayings of the Messenger of God) goes, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil." (Reported by At-Tirmidhi). On another note, isn't that like the Coolest Hadith Ever? It can be part of my regular muslim pickup line, "hi, it's your religious duty to ... hey?!! Where are you going?"

And what happened to my friend? Well, he went back to desiland, got married and is now showing me a picture of his wife. And he is completely infatuated with her. Such are the strange ways of brown people.

Tags: Arranged Marriage Desi

*NTTAWWT Not That There's Anything Wrong With That

Christmas Party

It's great fun being a Muslim at Christmas parties. Certain events seem destined to repeat themselves forever at every party. A few of them occur after a few drinks. As a sober Muslim watching from the sidelines, it can make for an interesting spectacle.

We attend dozens of Christmas parties from work around this time, but the main one is the Big One thrown by our company for ALL its employees at a five-star hotel. To give you an indication as to how big an event this is, our company owns the hotel. Naturally, the food is good and the portions generous - plus it's an open bar.

At the party, after filling up my plate with lots of food with French names, I stand behind many others at the bar. One by one we are served until its my turn. The server looks at me, "Yes, what drink can I get you, sir?"

"I will have a glass of orange juice, please."

Every year, I wish I could capture the expression on the server's face at the moment I request an orange juice. I think perhaps this year I will take my cellphone camera and freeze that moment. He will look at me with a wtf-is-he-crazy look and reply, "Excuse me?"

"I will have a glass of orange juice, please."

A pause, and then, "May I inform you sir, that it's an open bar?" It's free.

"Sure. An orange juice will be fine." Then I will give a satisfied smile as the server has to search the area to get my beverage.

As the party gets livelier, someone will start an argument that Christmas is somewhat cheapened by wishing 'Happy Holidays' instead of 'Merry Christmas'.

"No one takes offense at what you wish." He will say, "So why don't they say Merry Christmas?"

At this moment the bosses are looking somewhat uncomfortable until someone butts in, "Exactly! No one cares what you wish them. Christmas or Happy Holidays - take your pick! Shut up Jim!" Lots of laughter, and we go on discussing our holiday plans.

I agree in part with the semi-drunk person, though. Sometimes political correctness can be taken to an extreme. This year, I got a Christmas card from my client inviting me to their party. This is what it said, "We ---- would like to invite you to our Happy Holiday Bash. Come celebrate the season with some good fun and multi-cultural food."

So we now take offense at what food is being served? I'm sorry, but I take offense at when a black person is stopped without reason by the police, when a Muslim is arrested without charges being laid, when a woman is fired from her work for being pregnant. I don't take offense if a kebob is absent from the food served.

However, I don't think Christmas is being 'hijacked'. We all know what season this is. As long as Christians maintain the spirit of the season, I think they can rest easy. After all, that's what we stress in Ramadan. It's not just the abstinence, it's the spirit of being a better person, a better Muslim.

And finally, my favourite character. The guy who can claim with a straight face that Katrina was God's wrath on the US for Iraq (the polar opposite of the racist who will claim the earthquake in Pakistan is 'his' God's wrath). Usually, on the day of a party, my MSN will have a nick like 'Christmas party today' or something equally, um, informative. Then this guy will message me.

"You know attending a Christmas party is celebrating Christmas, right?"

I say nothing, as he continues, "And by celebrating Christmas you are committing shirk. Do you know how big a sin it is? So, technically, you should not be attending Christmas parties."

Okay. Technically, as you say, you are at work. And so am I. And you should not be chatting. You should be working.

I don't know too much about these trivial issues. I am just going to a gathering of friends where no one is worshipping anything or saying anything against Islam. And I leave when people start getting drunk. It's just a party with lots of free food.

People should just chill.

With a glass of orange juice, of course.

Tags: Christmas Party Happy Holidays Muslim

30 Days with Morgan Spurlock

Great works of art usually produce a common consequence - they tend to tug at your emotions or make you think differently about preconceived notions. I saw two such great motion pictures over the weekend. I will talk about one of them here.

It was a 30 Days documentary by Morgan Spurlock (the star and director of the award winning Super Size Me). Spurlock brings forth the premise: what if we could see what it was like to live in an environment completely counter to our own for just thirty days? It features his childhood friend, David Stacy. Stacy, a white Christian from Virginia, goes to live with a Muslim couple outside of Dearborn, Michigan, the city with one of the largest Muslim communities in the States. He is required to wear Muslim dress, grow a beard, answer calls to prayer and learn Arabic.

The first factor that hit Stacy, as he left his hometown, was how prejudiced people were. As he wore a traditional Muslim garb, he was still the same white hometown man, no beard, and yet the airport authorities of Virginia stopped him, searched him and made him take off his shoes. The challenge makes Stacy fight his own fears about his faith, as he worries about turning his back on Jesus by even entertaining another religion's values. Stacy is shown to be as ignorant as the average American when it comes to Islam, yet by the end of the episode, where he returns to his family, he places a copy of the Quran on his bookshelf and promises to defend his new friends and their beliefs against prejudice and bias.

I watched the documentary with my brother. As Stacy realized for the first time how different life was as a minority, we could not help but feel triumphant that the message was getting out. However, at the end of the episode, Spurlock previews the next week's episode. A strict heterosexual Christian is to live with a gay room mate and attend gay events. As they showed two topless gay guys embracing, both my brother and I recoiled at the same time, "Ew, gays!"

Here we were, watching a documentary on discrimination faced by Muslims, and we could not but help ourselves when it was our turn to be the discriminators, on having a holier-than-thou attitude towards gays. As soon as the discriminatee was someone else, some other group, we switched attitudes. This made me wonder, all the outreach programs that we do, all the good work that Muslims do in the US, are they all in vain? Is there ever hope for peace on earth and goodwill towards men?

Tags: 30 Days Morgan Spurlock Dearborn, Michigan

Comedy Of Canadian Elections

Feeling stressed out with Christmas shopping? Tired of cancelled flights and rearranged schedules? Fear not, the Canadian elections and our politicians continue the Christmas good cheer with a healthy dose of comedy. Not on purpose though.

Case one. Imagine the scenario. You are a potential suitor, meeting the father of the girl (let's call her Sarah). He asks you one simple question, "Do you love my daughter (Sarah)?"

To that, you reply, "Well, I always said Sarah is a great girl. You know, all of us get involved in dating life spend a lot of time with lots of girls. I get a real sense of girls, where they live, who they are, and what challenges they face. And I think Sarah has a great potential. That's why I am so excited to be with her."

What's this got to do with the election? Well, the Leader of Opposition Mr. Harper was asked a simple question, "Do you love Canada." And this is the answer he gave.

"Well, I said Canada is a great country. You know, all of us who get involved in public life spend a lot of time away from our families to go across the country, probably get in many ways the most rewarding experience you could have, you know. It's not tourist travel, you don't see all the hot spots and all the great sights but you get a real sense - the kind of traveling I've done, especially the last seven or eight months, you get a real sense of Canadians, where they live, who they are and what their challenges are. And I think the country has unlimited potential."

I mean, c'mon Mr Harper. A simple 'yes' would have done. What a silly question. And an even sillier answer.

And sure enough, his opponent our Prime Minister lost no time in saying, "I heard Mr. Harper has a problem saying he loves Canada. Well, let me say it. I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE Canada."

Case Two. There's going to be FOUR debates this year. If you read the definition of the debates though, I am disappointed. There will be no free-for-all where anyone can speak and interrupt the others. It will be more like the US debates.

Kerry: 3y+z/2=mx+b+c² + emc³
Bush: 2 + 2 = 7

Those can be real boring. I attended one such debate recently. I like free-for-alls. The leaders have to insult each other as politely as possible (we are Canadians after all). Now the debates are going be like this:

Moderator: "What are your opinions on income taxes?"

Prime Minister Mr. Martin: "Well I must say I am deeply concerned about Canadians and their concerns. As Prime Minister I feel it is my duty to be concerned about their issues, unlike the neo-conservative Alliance who have a hidden agenda, about which I am concerned too. After all, my father was also very concerned about Canadian values *sniff*."

Rightist CPC leader Mr. Harper: "As much as I love Canada, I must say I do not like taxes. Canadians hate the sales tax and I love Canada and Canadians, so I have promised reduce the sales tax. This is a great country with a brilliant potential. In conclusion, I [heart] Canada."

Leftist NDP leader Mr. Layton: "Canadians want Parliament to work. The NDP is not concerned with playing political games. We must have a common consensus to move Canada forward. Canadians have told us their problems, and are depending on us for their solutions. Blah blah blah. Yap yap yap."

Separatist Mr. Duceppe: "F*** Canada. Vive La Quebec! Je suis la seule personne qui sait que je ne puis pas être le chef. Ainsi je ne m'inquiète pas des issues comme des impôts."

Who answered the question? What question?

That was week 1. Week 2 is up ahead. It's going to be a loooong election.

Tags: Canada Elections Stephen Harper Paul Martin

Spadina Street Tales

Eating at a Chinese restaurant can be a unique experience. I don't mean the proper, fancy, Chinese restaurants that you would take your wife or girlfriend to, and order the Peking Duck On Mandarin Flying Noodle with side of General Watzisname's Shrimp or something like that. I mean the restaurants near my work place. I work near Spadina street, downtown Toronto. Otherwise known as Chinatown. There are dozens of these small restaurants that dot the street, offer cheap and quick food for lunch and always seems packed.

You order a dish, and pray to God it's WYGIWYO - What You Get Is What You Ordered. And if you go as a group, a good game you can play is 'Who Gets Served Last'. And since I always have to be the only one from my work colleagues to order the non-meat seafood/veggie dish, I usually get my food last win.

Today, we all decided to go to J's, a place on Spadina. It's not really called J's, but the real name is a big Chinese one beginning with the letter J, so most people in my office call it J's. We were lucky to get a table - it's packed. There are two regular waiters in that place. One is fast and efficient, and the other apparently believes slow and steady wins the race. He came to take our order. Everyone placed their order - bowl of pork and rice multiplied three times, and then I placed mine - "Vegetable Shanghai Chow Mein".

THREE minutes later, as the guys are still waiting for their free soup, the waiter brought my dish. It was steaming from the oven, with scrumptious vegetables and freshly cooked shrimp pieces dotting the noodles, and lots of it. I have never gotten my food this fast. As the others looked on in amazement, I dug in. Oh boy did it taste great!

As I went through my lunch, my colleagues waited, and waited. They waved to the waiter, made faces, pointed to their wrists, made small talk on the elections, and generally tried to avoid giving nazaar (evil eye) to my food. Finally, as I was nearly done, their dishes arrived.

For some reason, I was feeling triumphant (it was Friday after all), so I told the guys I would head back to work early, as I was done. I got up and walked to the cashier, ready to pay. Through the corner of my eye, I saw the slow waiter drying his hands and approach the cash.

As the waiter passed one gentleman seated at a table, the customer grabbed him, and thundered, "I am waiting here for 30 minutes! Where Is My VEGETABLE SHANGHAI CHOW MEIN?!!!"

Tags: Spadina Chinese Restaurants Toronto

See also: Gerrard Street Tales

What's Happening To Bangladesh

I try to keep things light in this blog. There's enough gloom and depression around the world if you look for it, and I consider myself an optimist. However, today, I am going to post about something that I feel very strongly about.

Even though I have lived abroad all my life, feel like a foreigner when I am there for a visit (technically true) and can never comprehend actually living in Bangladesh, that country has always held a special place in my heart. I have loved the fact that Bangladeshi culture and language is one of the oldest and richest in the world. When people pointed to radical so-called 'Islamic' governments taking over peoples' lives in the Muslim world, Bangladesh shone as a brilliant example of democracy taking fruit in the Muslim world. Our communal harmony was something to be proud of during the 1947 bloody partition of India.

I have always been proud of the Sufi, moderate Islam that Bangladeshis have practiced. There are no bans on listening to music, TV commercials featuring beautiful women, music at weddings, hanging out at malls during prayer timings and so on. Live and let live.

That all started to change sometime ago. Change has been slow and steady, but now its ominous. When my Pakistani Ahmadiyya friends emailed me stories where an Ahmadiyya mosque was torched down, where some Ahmadiyya books were banned, I would always reply with a comment, "These are isolated cases."

Their reply: "Bangladesh is going the way of Pakistan. You wait and see."

Then came the election. The BNP won, but in their coalition they had some religious parties affiliated. Uh oh.

My uncle is a professor of an university in Bangladesh. Once there was a dance program featuring Bengali literature, organized by him. The local self-styled 'defender of the faith' party sent him a letter stating that unless he stops these 'un-Islamic activities that are incompatible with the moral standards of the country' they would kill him. It was a death threat.

There were reports of Taliban finding safe haven in Bangladesh. All false, I assumed. Propagated by nationalistic Indian agencies like RAW, some said.

Then came the mega explosion of terror. For the first time, some people joked, Bengalis were on time. They could afford to joke as no one died. That changed too. The extremists started to target judges. Judges who have ruled that the Ahmadiyya book ban was unconstitutional.

Then we got hit by suicide bombing, till now a foreign entity. These were aimed at lawyers. As if it wasn't enough, they did an encore. People have now started to ask if Bangladesh has a problem with terrorism.

I hope, for their sake, the Bangladeshi people wake up from this nightmare. The law and order situation has been bad already. We have consistently topped the list of most corrupt nation. Having accepted those as a fact of life due to poverty, Bangladeshis should be in no mood to accept radicals in their midst. Once, a grave and powerful force began to oppress Bangladeshis and try to wipe out their culture, tradition and history. The Bengalis rose as one to tackle the threat and drive it out. Let's hope that spirit of '71 is still alive.

Tags: Bangladesh

I Dream of CSI

So I had one of those ‘movie dreams’. I call them that because that’s what they are essentially. It’s a dream that’s also like a movie. Sometimes it’s interactive and I am in the ‘movie’, sometimes I am watching it from a distance, but either way, it’s highly entertaining and I certainly don’t want the dream to end quickly. Occasionally even in the dream I will know it’s just a dream and realize I must be smiling in my sleep because it’s just so super amusing (is this getting wierd yet?).

Ok, so in my dream, I was a police officer of Toronto. Along with my partner, we had just busted some kids doing drugs in a park. The punk kids tried to hide the evidence somewhere underneath the car but we had this amazing UV torch that when lit made all the drugs show up as blue, so we could instantly pinpoint where they were hiding the stash (CSI Toronto?). After booking and arresting the kids, we had a meeting to discuss where these drugs were coming into Canada from. One lady officer then said it must be Mumbai, India. According to her, Mumbai is an exotic city where the clean entertainment of the movie world meets lots of shady characters, and drug smugglers use their drug money to finance a movie. So I land up in Mumbai to investigate.

And not just anywhere in Mumbai. Right in the middle of a drug cartel warehouse with lots of drums, and some creepy guys playing cards. It’s just like an old 80s Amitabh movie. After some good old dhishum-dhishum fighting, I realize they left a bomb ticking. I have to defuse it. It’s ticking really loudly. Then, as I step closer to the bomb, I realize it has a clock. So I figure the way to defuse the bomb would be to wake up and shut off my alarm clock. And I wake up!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the ticking of my alarm clock was the bomb in the movie dream that had to be defused. And yes, it was ringing loudly in real life.

I read somewhere that you dream only for a few seconds (like 3-8 seconds) when you are in your REM (Rapid Eye Movement) sleep. External stimuli, such as someone tickling your foot or an alarm clock, can dictate your dreams. So my whole dream, which to me seemed to happen over days, was only a few seconds in real time, and all of it conjured by my brain when the alarm clock started to ring, to lead me gently to a ticking bomb that’s an alarm clock. SubhanAllah, the human brain is an amazing thing!

Tags: Movie Dream REM

Someone Stole Our Bin

Green Bin

I cannot imagine what drives some people. Someone stole our Green Bin! It was garbage day this morning, and I kept ours out last night before going to bed. This morning, as I left for work, I saw the Green Bin missing. I thought, oh, the garbage men are here already! It was raining, and I didn't pay much attention that garbage men take only the garbage, and not the bin. I mean, you are leaving for work in the morning, you are usually thinking about the traffic, your work, the weather, you know - other crap. Not garbage bins. I come home in the evening, and then it hits me.

No Green Bin. After enquiring with the rest of the household, we find out no one has seen it since morning. From experience, I know the garbage truck comes around noon. So someone came last night, after I left the garbage out, dragged the Green Bin somewhere, filled with rotten food remains, dumped the garbage and then stole it!

There's really lot of pathetic people out there. Who steals garbage? In Canada! This can only happen in Scarborough.

Tags: Green Bin Scarborough

Canada's Government Falls

Canada's Government Falls.

Well, that's a marginally better title than what BBC had - Canada's Government Thrown Out.

For my American friends, in Canada, the government is a parliamentary system. There are 308 MPs (Members of Parliament) in the House of Commons. If the government has the support of less than 50% of them on a No-Confidence vote, it falls and it's time for an election. Unlike USA, power is not concentrated in the hands of one man (see comments below).

Currently, prior to the No-Confidence Vote, the Liberals had 133 elected MPs, so they had to rely on other parties for support. Well, that didn't happen today.

The mudslinging has already begun. The leader of the Liberal Party (our Democrats equivalent), Paul Martin, has already labelled the Opposition party, the Conservatives, as the "neo-con alliance". The Conservatives (our Republicans) have called the Liberals the thief who cried fire so everyone would leave the store and then he would rob the cash register. This is of course a reference to the sponsorship scandal that provoked the crisis in the first place. It's like two kids insulting each other "my daddy strongest". Then again, it's Christmas, time for good cheer and all that. And who to provide the laughs better than our elected representatives?

The small leftist party, the NDP (our Ralph Nader but with actual power), basically said how good it has been for the last year and no one paid any attention. The separatist Bloc Quebecois said some crap in French. We will not talk about them in my blog unless I want to insult that French separatist party. A party that wants to break up Canada is a bunch of traitors in my book.

As I looked at the Liberal caucus, one thing struck me immediately was the presence of so many minorities. We have a Sikh young woman MP, Ruby Dhalla, who some was voted one of the Hottest MPs in Canada. We have Muslims, Chinese, Asians, Greek, black MPs and so on. It's a diverse bunch.

Maybe that's why when Stephen Harper (Bush Jr and leader of Conservatives) spoke to his caucus, he made some prominent minority members of his party stand behind him on the podium (brown guy, Chinese woman, smart blonde woman (Rona) - all rare breeds I'm told in that party, especially after Belinda Stronach left the Conservatives to join the Liberals). What makes it more ironic was the fact that Belinda's boyfriend was Peter McKay, deputy leader of the Conservatives.

PS. The by-election that I blogged about here and here and here, was won by Liberal candidate Bas Balkissoon by a landslide (over 50%). However the voter turnout was only 19%. The weather was very bad on the day, it was snowing, windy and whiteout conditions at the time. Probably played a factor in the elections, with many people deciding the Liberals have this in the bag (it's considered a safe riding) and thus staying at home. I wish Mr Balkissoon all the best, hope he can hold the provincial Liberals to the same standards he had at City Council, when he uncovered the MFP scandal.

Tags: Canada Politics Elections

Random Acts Of Kindness

We bloggers usually tend to write about events and issues that bother us, after all blogging is a type of activism. However it also pays to realize there's lots of good people in this world, and a lot of kind acts that go unreported.

The Toronto Star runs a regular issue of Random Acts of Kindness (registration may be required). I make it a point to read the submissions on a daily basis. It makes me feel good that such great people live in this city I call home.

Some of the incidents described are totally out-of-character with the supposedly materialistic world we live in today, such as strangers helping you out if you don't have enough cash at the checkout. Others are cute, for example:

This story goes back to the days when I was a university student in Toronto. I lived in a dormitory and preparing for my first job interview, scrambling to have my suit washed and my shirt and pants ironed, just get everything in order.

It turned into a big mess, because I didn't know how to iron anything. I fumbled around with the iron in the TV lounge, making a fool of myself and then one of my floormates came in and asked if I needed help.

We had rarely spoken except for the occasional nod and smile. She quickly took care of the ironing. Her kindness really helped me out and that day I was given the job through that interview. In May of this year I will be celebrating my 30^th year with the engineering firm. And Phyllis and I will be celebrating our 28^th anniversary. That girl who helped me out became my wife - and yes, I did learn to do my own ironing.

Others are about strangers helping out strangers during a sudden winter snowstorm. On a sidenote, I find people here very cheerful and helpful to others in the winter more than summer. Perhaps the realization that everyone is at the sudden mercy of the cruel weather has something to do with that. There are also stories about people returning lost items, helping blind people, and so on.

Here I would like to share my own Random Act of Kindness story in this Thanksgiving (US) Weekend. It's not a big event, nor is it profound, but it still remains with me.

It was just a few days after I got my first car. It was during my third year at the university, it was February, and I was desperately looking for a meaningful job for the summer ahead. I had my license for sometime, but had avoided driving the highways. However, one day I was really late for an interview, and had no choice but to get on the freeway.

I was on the DVP northbound, when I took the ramp to 401 eastbound. It was snowing, and visibility was very poor. Unfortunately the lane on the ramp I was on was closed off at the end - I didn't know. I came to a shuddering halt, and remained stuck on that lane. Cars whizzed by on the lane beside me, however I had neither the courage nor the skills to cut in and enter the lane.

It was then another car on that lane slowed down, tooted the horn and flashed his headlights. I cut in and drove off.

It was a small gesture, a driver pausing to let another cut in. To this date, however, that gesture has remained with me. Whenever I drive, and I see a driver waiting to cut in, I remember that fellow and let the driver in. If some driver rudely cuts me off or goes extra slow on the fast lane, I remember that not all drivers are jerks and remind myself of that fellow.

Tags: Random Acts Of Kindness Toronto Thanksgiving

Less Costly To Be A Guy

The fact that my sister's birthday is so close to Christmas has never failed to vex me. Add that to the fact that I tend to leave gift buying for the last minute, and you have a very freaked out Mezba who remembers on the day that he has to get something for her on the way home from work. In the past I could get away by giving her cash (which I tought was a good strategy for both of us) but in recent years I have decided to actually put an effort into buying the gift. You know, be sensitive.

Oh boy! If you want to know how many people (specifically brown people) there are in Toronto, come to Scarborough Town Center during the Christmas season. Every guy and his wife and kids and grandparents are there. After 20 minutes I found a parking spot and headed first for Walmart.

Buying a gift for guys like my brother is easy. I just head for the toys section and buy one of a)gun b)car c)Goosebumps d) anything with Spiderman on it. Buying a gift for a girl is a little tougher. Fortunately I ran into Shireen and her husband in the mall, and she suggested to me that perfumes are always good gifts for girls (perhaps a hint for her husband?). Checking out the perfumesEau de Toilettes sold at Walmart, I headed for Sears.

It was after browsing the women's section for perfumes and cosmetics (and getting weird looks from the salesladies there) that a sudden thought struck me - women pay much more for the same stuff than we men do.

A set of Calvin Klein perfumes (3 small bottles) for women - $95. The men get a set of 5 for $59. Elizabeth Arden perfumes, one small bottle was $86 (ouch!). The men had a perfume and aftershave for $63. I am quoting the prices roughly from memory, and observed the same phenomenon for Ralph Lauren, Gucci, Tommy, Adidas.

Moving on to the cosmetics section, I was surprised to see there were some cosmetics for men (the Beckham effect I guess). Anyways, you could buy a whole gift set of moisturizing lotion, cream, skin cleaner (whatever that is), hair gel and some other crap for about $50. For the women some lipstick sets alone were over $100.

Clothes. I was thinking of getting my sister a new funky coat. I looked at a leather jacket that I always fancied for myself. It was $140. Then I picked up a women's long coat, made of cheaper material than the leather jacket. $199. As I walked back towards Walmart, I saw they had men's underwear in a 3-pack for $5. And no, I didn't go over to the corresponding women's section to check out their prices.

Conclusion? It's far less costly to be a guy than a girl. Unless you have to buy gifts, ofcourse.

Tags: Women Gifts Scarborough Town Center

Imperialism of Imperial College

Even though I do not see what is there to see in Sania Mirza, I fully support her right to play tennis wearing short mini skirts. She is free to practice her religion as she sees fit. Women should be allowed to wear whatever clothing they are comfortable with.

Apparently Imperial College does not think so.

The Guardian: College security ban on hijabs and hoodies

Daily Mail: Students' fury at ban on hoodies and Islam veils

Imperial College Declares War on TerrorismHijab
"Clothing that obscures an individual's face is not allowed on any of the college's campuses. Employees and students should refrain from wearing clothing which obscures the face, such as a full or half veil, or hooded tops or scarves worn across the face."

It does not start with something big to lose the freedoms that we enjoy. The powers-that-be try to ban something small first. They wait and gauge the peoples' reactions. Then they move on to bigger and bigger freedoms. We had ASBOs in Britain for sometime now, where local councils can ban a person from listening to rock music on a certain bus. Then they moved on.

The Prime Minister Tony LiarBlair tried to pass the law that could imprison you for 90 days without charge. Imagine, you are dating a real hot Muslim guy and suddenly he does not return your calls for three months. What effect would this have had on interracial relations in Britain? Seriously speaking, a British citizen could be in jail for 3 months for not having committed a crime. The powers-that-be thankfully failed.

They say we don't want people putting silly pieces of cloth in front of their faces. Remind me to tell that to the Queen next time she wears a net on her face at one of those races.

Now they moved on to a much smaller scheme. First they tried to ban people in hoods, then people in jilbabs and finally now the war has come to the hijab. It's time to make a stand.

Students are the voice of the democracy of the future. If they will not stand up when their own rights are being taken away, then something is wrong with democracy in that country.

It's not just some moz people who wear the hijab you know, some Christians do it as well. They are only following what the Bible told them, in First Epistle to Corinthions, chapter 11, verse 3-10. I searched for 'Mary Mother of Jesus' in Google images. After 10 pages I gave up. I was looking for a picture of Mary with her hair shown. Couldn't find it. There were some sites, but those open a lot of popups.


Mary and Mary in Passion Of The Christ



Mary and child

I was speaking with my friend Rashed this morning. He studies (too much in my opinion) at Imperial College. He told me students there were lining up to protest against this impediment of freedom. There was a non-Muslim guy standing in the freezing cold of London last evening, he said, trying to get people to sign the petition against this silly rule. He said it was really touching. And sad, because most other Muslims don't care. They don't wear hijab, it doesn't effect them.

They took the guy down the street away. I didn't care, I didn't know him. Then they took my class mate away, I didn't care as I didn't like him. Then they took my neighbour away, I didn't speak because I was afraid. Then they came to take me away, there was no one left to care. - on poster outside UofT Scarborough SAC office

This is not a pro-or-against hijab issue. This is an issue of rights.

Tags: Imperial College Hijab

Bengali Players - 1

Is it just me or is there a bhaiyya (Big Brother) in every Bong clique? There is one in ours, and I have noted his characteristics here.

Let me explain.

The Bhaiyya is always studying for some degree or other and rarely has time for parties (girls). He is forever the 'Bhodro chele' (guy with good values).

To the other Bengali dudes, however, the Bhaiyya wants to be known as the Player (pronounced Plaaaeeeyaah!). Even though he is of their age, he is always hob knobbing with all the aunties. At every party he will somehow walk up to an aunty and the aunty will turn to him and smile and say, "So how are you beta, how's your studies going?" If that aunty spends 5 minutes talking to all the boys combined she will spend 10 minutes talking with the Bhaiyya. He will boast to the other dudes about how he was in that aunty's house the other day or some other aunty's house the day before.

The picture becomes clearer when you notice all the aunties he has talked with have one (eligible) daughter (or more).

Aha!

The Bhaiyya is eternally the helpful one. Some aunty needs her computer fixed and the uncle is a clueless engineer from Solimullah Institute of Technology? Call the Bhaiyya. You need food picked up from the restaurant 20 kms out of town for the Baishaki party? Call the Bhaiyya with his 10 year old Honda Accord. All the girls are going out for the latest Shah Rukh Khan movie and some of the guys are coming as well? Call the Bhaiyya to act as the chaperone.

Ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond? Remember the beginning when Ray goes "Hi, I am Ray Barone and I live in Long Island ..."? Well, the Bhaiyya has a similar theme.

Hi, I am Bhaiyya and I live in Toronto with my computer MSHOME.
My computer, oh she looks after everything,
My emails, my work, my social life, oh I don't know how she does it.
My parents, they live right across the corridor,
That's right, across the corridor.
And my brother lives right with them.
Now not every aunty would trust their daughters with you,
But all of mine would, coz ....
EVERYBODY LOVES BHAIYYA.

The Bhaiyya's biggest fantasy ofcourse is that one day some aunty would wake up to this fact and start pummelling her daughter(s) with Bhaiyya's facts (and conveniently downloaded Bio-Data from Bhaiyya's website).

"See this guy. He is perrrrfect for you. He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, has no girlfriends, studying hard, comes from a good family, and is suchhh-a helpful boy. I want you to consider him."

If a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way to a Bong girl's heart is through her ... mom?

And then comes his reality cheque.

"But mom [insert disgusted face emoticon here], he's ... a Bhaiyya!"

Ouch! Such is the tragic reality of the helpful and hopeful Bhaiyya.

Tags: Bengali Bhaiyya

Harry Potter's Date Is Bangladeshi

Apparently the 'Indian' girls in the new Harry Potter movie are not Indian at all, they are Bangladeshi. Just like most of the 'Indian' restaurants in London, UK, are not Indian at all, they are owned and operated by Bangladeshis.

Sources: The 3rd World View (from Me Myself And Bangladesh and Sepia Mutiny)

Tags: Harry Potter Bangladesh

The 'Immoral' West - 2

While it is true that we who live abroad may at times arrive in Bangladesh with an attitude, turn up our noses at the crowds and dirtiness, and exclaim shock that people are still not *gasp* stopping at red lights, the trend also flows both ways. I have met many Bangladeshis who have quite a condescending attitude towards their cousins from the West, and Canada (or USA/UK) in general.

Continuing this theme, they will come to this country and never stop criticizing it.

"Oh look at these people in July, walking around half-naked." (and then keep looking).

"Oh, these Canadians are so vain. They are buying these expensive cars when people in Asia cannot eat." (over a $3.50 cup of Mocha Frappuccino at Starbucks).

"These Canadians just want us to come and work as labourers and storekeepers. Racists." All this while his 'labourer's salary' is supporting his family here, back home in Bangladesh, and putting his sons through university when after they graduate they will be engineers, doctors, etc.

"Me, this country will lead my children astray. I'm returning to Bangladesh as soon as possible." (On his 10^th year).

Now, everyone's situation is different and there is some valid criticism, but on the whole immigrants have it pretty good here. You get a passport after 3 years only which is pretty good compared to others. And this blue Canuck passport gets more respect in Bangladesh than a green Bangladeshi passport does there - trust me, I've been at Dhaka airport and the officials are so courteous to the 'foreigners' and so rude to the locals its unbelievably sick (that's another whole post).

We also practice our religious freedom in many ways. On Good Friday, the day most Canadians believe Christ the God was crucified and killed for their sins, we in our Jummahs on the same day never fail to drive home the point that we believe that's bogus, Christ was a holy messenger of God (in Islam he is called the Word of God) but a man like any other man, and he wasn't crucified at all. True secularism. In Bangladesh the Hindus are not allowed to have loud pujas on Muslim holidays. That's not secularism.

In fact, these western nations are in many ways more Islamic than our so-called Islamic nations. They have minimum wage, which was first implemented by Hazrat Omar (R) but now seems to have disappeared from the muslim world. They have dignity of labour. Here a plumber, labourer, construction worker and street cleaner (called sanitation worker) have equal respect in the eyes of the law and society. Muhammad (peace be upon him) worked as a labourer, shepherd, merchant, farmer and so on. Yet today in Bangladesh we look down on choukidaars (guards), rakhals (shepherds), coolies (porters), rickshaw-wallahs and so on. In Canada we follow the Doctrine of Multiculturalism (sure there's some discrimination but can you argue a black man will not be discriminated against in Bangladesh?) which was practiced in Muslim Spain a long, long, time ago.

Tags: Immoral West Immigrants in Canada

Cousin Marriage

Labour MP Ann Cryer has called for British Pakistanis to stop marrying their first cousins after a study suggested that they were more likely to have children with recessive disorders than the general population (Guardian link).

This is always going to be a controversial topic to discuss, as proponents of discussion could be labelled as racists, xenophobes etc. What I find comforting is the tone of Cryer's speech.

I'm not calling for a ban or a change in the law because that would mean changing the law for everyone. I'm simply calling for an enlightened debate. We've avoided discussions on this subject.

It is encouraging that he is calling for an 'enlightened debate'. Too many times people in power tend to take extreme measures to combat a problem and it results in overkill.

Firstly, is it true that most Pakistanis tend to marry their cousins? On a personal level, I find it very true.

I was meeting a few high school friends for lunch. Given it's Canada, ours is quite an international bunch. We were catching up, when all of a sudden my Pakistani buddy turns to me and asks, "So Mezba, what about marriage?"

I was like, "man, et tu Brutus? My whole extended family's been on that one note nag for some time."

"Well, what about family? Any cousins?"

There was a stunned moment of silence for almost a minute, before I slowly murmured, "Well, cousin marriages are not common at all amongst Bengalis. It happens, but very rarely."

"Well," my friend continued, obviously not understanding why our Chinese friend was looking at him as if he'd just grown a horn. "Islam has nothing against cousin marriages."

Sure, Islam has nothing against marrying your cousin. Islam also has nothing against a 20-year-old guy marrying an 80-year-old woman, but that's not happening. Islam also has nothing against eating brocolli three times a day, but again - not happening.

Even Christians have debated over this issue. Leviticus 18 lists the forbidden relationships. Cousins are not forbidden nor is cousin marriage forbidden anywhere else in the Holy Bible (source). The restrictions given are very similar to ones mentioned in the Holy Quran, 4:22-25.

On another note, the main difference between Springfield and Shelvyville was - you guessed it - cousin marriage.

Back to the British MP. Like the Shariah debate sometime back, people who raise minority issues sometimes raise tham as they can be a convenient excuse to bash the community. In this case, one should take into account whether there is a hidden agenda behind this issue regarding British Pakistanis. However, regardless what one thinks of the MP's request to the British Parliament to ask Pakistanis not to marry cousins, there can be no doubt marriage amongst cousins, especially when recursively done for generations, have extreme negative effects.

It has been narrated that Caliph Omar Bin Khattab (R) saw an Arabian tribe called Banu Al-Sayeb (or As-Saib) whose bodies were very weak and emaciated because they used to marry their kins. Caliph Omar advised them "Marry outside your close of kin".

From the BBC,

But the statistics for recessive genetic illness in cousin marriages make sobering reading.

British Pakistanis are 13 times more likely to have children with genetic disorders than the general population - they account for just over 3% of all births but have just under a third of all British children with such illnesses.

Indeed, Birmingham Primary Care Trust estimates that one in ten of all children born to first cousins in the city either dies in infancy or goes on to develop serious disability as a result of a recessive genetic disorder.
<SNIP>
We all have two copies of every gene. If you inherit one variant gene you will not fall ill. If, however, a child inherits a copy of the same variant gene from each of its parents it will develop one of these illnesses.

The BBC deals with the issue in detail here.

Centre for Arab Genomic Studies research data here.

Regarding cousin marriages, ManiacMuslim has this quote (himself a child of first cousins):

I personally prefer it if people marry OUTSIDE their family. Too many cousin-marriages will lead into quite the amplification of hereditary diseases and I’m sure the kids from the cousin-marriage will be scarred for life when they have to make a complete family tree for a school project. "But Abdullah," said Mrs. Elffab, "why does your family tree have interconnecting branches? It looks more like a family bush. Hey... waita minute." Poor Abdullah wasn’t the same again...

Marriage amongst cousins are practised in other cultures as well. Rural Pakistanis tend to be more conservative than other South Asians, unlike Indians and Bengalis who tend to have a more relaxed approach to religion, as influenced by Sufi-ism. In this regard, rural Pakistanis are culturally more similar to Iranians and tribal Arabs. We find that cousin marriages are practiced there as well. Albert Einstein married his first cousin (and he was a bright guy too). The royals of Europe are another example of interbreeding for generations. As I said, it's not a religious phenomenon, but a cultural one.

However, it is a topic that needs to be discussed within the British Pakistani community, in that, the Labour MP is absolutely right. We need to address why it's too popular, when Islam has repeatedly encouraged us to seek people for marriage outside of kinship. We need to discuss why many people claim marriage to a cousin (a known factor) is better than marrying a stranger. And we should not label those calling for discussion as racists. Debate is healthy, orthodoxy tends to promote stagnation.

Tags: Cousin Marriages Ann Cryer

From A Muggle To A Pothead

I was listening to the news on the drive to work, and the news reader announced, "Potterheads all over the country are gearing up with the release of the new movie." Except that he said "Potheads" not "Potterheads". He corrected himself immediately, but I heard snickering in the back.

My kid brother planned an evening with his friends on the night of the release of the movie, with me dropping them off at the cinema and picking them up later. Unfortunately his school decided to release report cards the day before. This meant none of his friends got parental permission for the movie. You have to understand for Bengali parents if you get 98% they will ask you where the other 2% went. Therefore movie night after report card night is a strict a no-no.

Taking mercy on my brother, I told him he could accompany my friends as we went for the movie. Of course there were strict ground rules.

• Don't talk to any of my friends unless spoken to.
  
• If possible don't talk at all.
  
• Be invisible.

I'm such a good brother. I remember the last time I went with him for the Chamber of Secrets. The movie was so boring I kept falling asleep. Once I woke up and Harry had just gotten his hand pierced by the teeth of the giant snake.

"Oh my God," I uttered, "It's poison. He's going to die."

"No," my brother turned to me and kindly explained, "Phoenix tears are magic tears. That bird will save him."

Two girls seating in front of us turned and muttered, with a lot of attitude, "thank you VERY much. Hmmph!"

Like me, they hadn't read the books either. Muggles.

So this time, I made preparations. I borrowed all the three previous movies and watched them one by one. I was now a PotheadPotterhead. The Philosopher's Stone was OK, it laid down the story. The Chamber of Secrets was booooring. The Prisoner of Azkaban, on the other hand, was really good. It was fast and thrilling. And mercifully short. I therefore approached the Goblet of Fire with high expectations.

What a disappointment. There was no mystery, unlike the others. The whole movie was a series of connected adventures, like a kind of amusement park ride which is not really thrilling as you have ridden it thousands of times before. You never get involved with the characters (who seem to have sprouted into adulthood). The only good part was the school prom and the scenes before that. Yawn.

The only reason I didn't fall asleep near the end was because some girl seated beside us had an anxiety attack just as Harry Potter got into trouble. As she walked away from the seat towards the exit, with her boyfriend in tow, I distinctly heard him swearing under his breath. This was during the climax too. I guess they were both PotheadsPotterheads.

That's the only way to enjoy the movie. Watch the others, for then you can follow this one. In other words, this is not for Muggles.

Tags: Harry Potter Goblet Of Fire

Silence Is Golden

I am normally a friendly person. If someone talks to me I respond. There are two places though, that I wish I could be left alone.

One is the office washroom. To me, I approach the washroom just like I approach shopping groceries. It's there for a purpose. Enter, finish your business, leave. There are other places to have a spiritual conversation.

Unfortunately there was someone from our department who was the anti-thesis of this theory. As soon as he sees you in the washroom, you knew five minutes of your life was going to be wasted.

"Mezba, did you download that funny clip I emailed you? It's hilarious eh?"

Buddy I gotta do some downloading here of my own - leave me alone.

"Hey Mezba, have you seen the latest economy projection reports? Strange eh?"

Jeez. Who talks about projection reports when you are waving your hand in front of the hot blower, cursing whoever decided to make the washroom environment friendly by getting rid of paper towels.

He doesn't take the hint. Fortunately he is now haunting the washrooms of another department.

The other place is the sauna.

There I would be, trying in vain to convince myself I really did lose 10 lb over Ramadan, and generally thinking lazy thoughts through the haze of steam, when along will come the most gregarious fat person with a towel loosely wrapped around his body, sit splat down not too far from you and then boom: "hot, eh?"

Buddy, you are in the sauna, what did you expect?

This would be followed by "oh it's so hard to lose weight".

After making sure the comment wasn't directed at me personally I do badly want to tell him about the new South Beach diet. But he has moved on to discussing his pretty young trainer.

I am almost there in beating my last record time spent at the sauna, so I decide to engage in his small talk. But when he starts standing up and starts performing calisthenics in the steam that does it. I head for the shower.

At last, solitude.

Peace.

PS. I know these people are mostly nice people who are very friendly. And I may be considered rude for not wanting to talk back. But at least not in the washroom, yaar.

Tags: Sauna Washroom Silence

Sheila White Wins Debate

I have blogged about the byelection in our riding here and here. There was an all-candidate debate today at the Islamic Foundation, attended by the representatives of the Liberals, Tories, NDP and Greens.

It was moderated by some bearded muslim guy who also works for the CBC (I regret not taking my digital camera with me - people who know me will know this is sacrilege on my part). The four panelists had collected the questions submitted via the Foundation website for the past week, selected some of them and fired away. The questions covered a lot of the community issues and I felt were well assorted.

Sheila White of the NDP stood out. Every question placed to her had a well thought out answer. She really knew the community and its issues, and seems a well placed candidate for our riding. She was also the one who got the loudest claps.

Prior to the debate Howard Hampton, the leader of NDP, went around the room shaking hands. I can tell you he looks you in the eye when you ask questions. He didn't shy away from any tough answers too.

Cynthia Lai of the Tories was OK. I like her, she seems a nice lady. I didn't like the fact that she read out a prepared speech as her opening remark. Even I know that's not good public speaking policy. Over all she provided some nice shots at the government. However Sheila outshone her by quite a margin.

The Green Party candidate (forgot his name) was exciting. He was really amusing. There is no way in hell he has a shot of winning this. So he could afford to make promises. One thing though, he was consistent throughout. Whatever positions he took, there was no hudging and fudging and political double-speak, most evident with Liberals and Conservatives. He was so consistent, I started to predict what he was going to say.

And lastly, Mr Bas of the Liberals. I like Mr Bas personally. He was one of the few men who had the guts to stop the MFP computer purchase scandal at City Hall. Too bad he is running for the liarMc Guinty's party. Since I don't like liars provincial Liberals I won't talk any more about Mr Bas. One must however mention the fact when he was asked about why he opposed a Muslim/Chinese seniors' home, and asked by a Muslim/Chinese guy in a mosque attended by a diverse community, Mr Bas negotiated the question with admirable ease. None of the others matched him. The Liberals are good politicians.

Over all, I have still not decided who I am going to vote for. But I did pick up the NDP flier on my way out.

Tags: Sheila White Scarborough Rouge River

Cricket, Islam and women

There are religious nutcases and then there are cricket nutcases. Sometimes they can be found at one spot.

England's cricket team is on a tour to Pakistan. They (England) are on their way to being the No. 1 team in the world, while Pakistan is as usual the unpredictable team, capable of defeating the best one day and going down to the worst the next.

BBC's correspondent Owen Bennett-Jones, visiting with the cricket team, writes in Pakistan's passion for cricket:

I've only met one Pakistani who did not like cricket.

He was a 25-year-old talib, or religious student, called Ali.

He came from Peshawar and had been educated in one of Pakistan's madrassas, or Islamic seminaries, since he was six years old.

With his wispy beard and serious face he had a pretty austere, puritanical view of life.

Dancing, listening to music and watching television were all wrong, he said.

I tried to find a chink in the armour and said: "Ah well, as a Pakistani you must at least love cricket?"

"Cricket?" He raised his eyes to the heavens.

"Why all this cricket, cricket, cricket? Don't people realise they are wasting their time? People should think of Allah, not cricket."

This is pretty serious stuff. The cricket blog, Corridor of Uncertainty, discusses the case here. I like Zainub's take on the issue:

Funny though that he should call cricket or sport a waste of time, some of Holy Prophet's closest companions were known to be very keen on sports played in their times (including wrestling and horse riding and fencing). Some records have it that even the Prophet of God Muhammad (peace be upon him) himself enjoyed such sports.

This is an example of our literate and enlightened Muslim woman. The fundamentalist mullahs and imams will shout "we should go back to our true Islam" but then forbid women's education because if their women really learnt the true Islam, they would realize how beautiful and liberal Islam is, and what a fake the so-called religious leaders and their faulty interpretations are.

Afghanitan's Taliban used to forbid women from working. The Messenger of God's own sister-in-law, Asmaa bint Abu Bakr, used to work, that too in the fields picking dates. She even used to talk with men who were not her husband **mock horror**!

Asmaa relates: "When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave”". So Asmaa had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water.

"And I used to carry on my head," she continues, "“the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah's Messenger had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah. One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah's Messenger, along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him. I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah (modesty) and he was a man having the most Gheerah. The Messenger of Allah understood my shyness and left."

"I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah."

So Asmaa declined the offer made by the Prophet. Upon this az-Zubair said: "By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him."” (related in Saheeh Al-Bukhari)

Look at the sense of dignity and modesty of Asmaa! See how she felt shy in front of men? See how careful she was about her husband's feelings? She knew her husband's feelings so she didn't want to upset him by accepting the Prophet'’s help even though the Prophet was the purest of men (and her own brother-in-law) and even though it meant bringing hardship on herself! And look at Az-Zubair, he didn't want to inconvenience his wife, his wife's hardships were acutely painful to him! What a beautiful relationship they had!

I wonder what Peshawar's Ali would have made of Asmaa, had they learnt about her. She worked. She went outside the house. She talked with men. She was educated. She had her own income. There are many more stories such as these that deserved to be told.

PS. Incidentally this is my 100^th post. A century.

Tags: Cricket Islam Women In Islam Asmaa