Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Bengali Players - 1

Is it just me or is there a bhaiyya (Big Brother) in every Bong clique? There is one in ours, and I have noted his characteristics here.

Let me explain.

The Bhaiyya is always studying for some degree or other and rarely has time for parties (girls). He is forever the 'Bhodro chele' (guy with good values).

To the other Bengali dudes, however, the Bhaiyya wants to be known as the Player (pronounced Plaaaeeeyaah!). Even though he is of their age, he is always hob knobbing with all the aunties. At every party he will somehow walk up to an aunty and the aunty will turn to him and smile and say, "So how are you beta, how's your studies going?" If that aunty spends 5 minutes talking to all the boys combined she will spend 10 minutes talking with the Bhaiyya. He will boast to the other dudes about how he was in that aunty's house the other day or some other aunty's house the day before.

The picture becomes clearer when you notice all the aunties he has talked with have one (eligible) daughter (or more).


The Bhaiyya is eternally the helpful one. Some aunty needs her computer fixed and the uncle is a clueless engineer from Solimullah Institute of Technology? Call the Bhaiyya. You need food picked up from the restaurant 20 kms out of town for the Baishaki party? Call the Bhaiyya with his 10 year old Honda Accord. All the girls are going out for the latest Shah Rukh Khan movie and some of the guys are coming as well? Call the Bhaiyya to act as the chaperone.

Ever watched Everybody Loves Raymond? Remember the beginning when Ray goes "Hi, I am Ray Barone and I live in Long Island ..."? Well, the Bhaiyya has a similar theme.
Hi, I am Bhaiyya and I live in Toronto with my computer MSHOME.
My computer, oh she looks after everything,
My emails, my work, my social life, oh I don't know how she does it.
My parents, they live right across the corridor,
That's right, across the corridor.
And my brother lives right with them.
Now not every aunty would trust their daughters with you,
But all of mine would, coz ....

The Bhaiyya's biggest fantasy ofcourse is that one day some aunty would wake up to this fact and start pummelling her daughter(s) with Bhaiyya's facts (and conveniently downloaded Bio-Data from Bhaiyya's website).

"See this guy. He is perrrrfect for you. He doesn't smoke, doesn't drink, has no girlfriends, studying hard, comes from a good family, and is suchhh-a helpful boy. I want you to consider him."

If a way to a man's heart is through his stomach, the way to a Bong girl's heart is through her ... mom?

And then comes his reality cheque.

"But mom [insert disgusted face emoticon here], he's ... a Bhaiyya!"

Ouch! Such is the tragic reality of the helpful and hopeful Bhaiyya.



mayaboti said...

Chuckle! :)

Crimson Mouzi said...

ji bhaiyya! lol
These bhaiyyas eventually go somewhere else to get married because you know he is a "bhaiyya". lol

Isheeta said...

This Bhaiyya dude sounds like a desi Napoleon Dynamite!

goBgoB said...

We don't have a bhaiyya in our bong clique. But i know the types you're talking about... *grin*