Why "My Body, My Choice" and Abortion is Infanticide

This is going to be a post about abortion, given the recent wave of laws being passed in the US. Even though my own position is that I would like the government to stay out of it, in the future if a Conservative government were to bring the legislation that abortion is to be banned except in case of rape / incest, health of the mother, or genetic defects of the fetus, I would be fine with it.

I am going to present some statistics that sometimes women (feminists) do not consider. Do you know, for example, that over 3000 children (viable, breathing, living children) are killed in the name of abortion every year? Please read on - this is the logical conclusion of "my body, my choice".

All Canadian data is from Canadian Institute for Health Information (CIHI). Where needed, US data is from CDC.

1. Canada has around 98,000 abortions / year (2016). This is down from 100,000+ abortions in 2014.
2. Approximately 1 in 5 (20%) of Canadian pregnancies end in an abortion.
3. The most common age for women having an abortion is 18-34 (76%). Breaking it down further, 27% of abortions are done for women aged 25-29.
4. 83% of abortions occur before the fetus is 12 weeks. 3.3% occur after 21 weeks.
5. Only 1.5% of abortions are for rape or incest reasons, and another 2% are for health reasons (mother and child).

These numbers do not include private hospitals who are not required to report data. Now take a look at the above data. What does this tell you?

The overwhelming number of abortions occur due to young women deciding they do not want a baby at this time. This is not rape, this is not incest, this is not health reasons - those are the extreme emotional cases the left wing feminists try to force into the discussion; but their numbers are negligible. The OVERWHELMING number of abortions in Canada are young women deciding nah, I don't want a child at THIS time of my life.

ISN'T that selfish? Isn't that putting your own ego and desires above the moral code of life? YOU chose to have sex; no one forced you - and then your night of pleasure ended in a pregnancy, and now you are decided to kill the baby because convenience. How is that morally ANY different from a farmer in India who decides his wife should get an abortion because the fetus is a girl? HOW?

Take a look at the extreme end of the abortions - the 3.3% occurring after 21 weeks. Science agrees a fetus is viable after 24 weeks. We all know it's a living being way before that. Most religions agree life begins way before that. Yet in Canada, even accounting for rape, health, genetic defects, about 3000 such lives are taken every year. At that far in pregnancy, surgical or chemical abortion is not viable - the lady is induced into labour, and then then child (no longer a fetus) is KILLED.

There is actually a legal debate happening now in the States - a bill that would FORCE doctors to provide care to these children (babies, really) as if they were real, living babies - WHICH THEY ARE! Think about it, if a woman normally went into labour at 24 weeks, the doctors would do everything in their power to save the premature child. Here, the woman is induced to labour, and the resulting baby is then killed. The US law is called "Born-Alive Abortion Survivors Protection Act" , and the Democrats (and their feminist patrons) blocked it. This is why Trump will win again. On these moral issues, he is actually on the right side of it (pun intended).

This is the logical end of "my body, my choice" - actual INFANTICIDE that we are condoning when we say we are "pro-choice". As a society, we have already turned away from God. We now condone adultery (consensual sex, one night stands), we condone children out of wedlock (common law), we condone infanticide (abortion) and we are told religion should be personal. So is it any surprise that when the religious right wins elections, they are trying to bring back morality into the law? Yes, the religious right has lots of issues in North America, but on this particular issue, they appear to be on the right (pun, again intended). 

Top 10 How To Know You Are An Adult

TOP 10 ADULTING skills every person looking to marry should have

I am now at the age where people ask me to find someone for their younger brother or sister, or in some cases children. Must be my grey hair. In trying to arrange such things, I discovered a few facts.

Young people, particularly from our community, are incredibly immature, naive and clueless, and yet thinking about marriage. Now I am a big proponent of people marrying young, but you also have to have some level of adult-giri.

1. You should not be running to your parents for every single thing. Be prepared to be an adult and have some responsibility. This goes especially for brown girls and guys. Most of them have lived cocooned lives under the strict "protection" / prison of their parents, and have no clue how to live on their own. This mentality takes a lot of adjusting.

2. You should be able to make three decent meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner. No, I am not saying you have to be a chef of a five star restaurant, but at the very least you should know how to make tea, an omelette, rice, some meat item. This is actually basic survival. If you were dropped off in a strange city on your own in a fully stocked house, can you live? And no, frying frozen nuggets do not count.

Women sometimes get insulted when asked, "can you cook". The correct answer to it should be, "Yes, and also, can you?"

Many guys who live on their own in university can cook to a passable degree. But if a guy is living at home with his parents, you MUST ask him this.

3. Be clean and tidy. Not only is this part of the faith if you are Muslim, but you need to not be a slob. Especially boys - your mother is not going to do your laundry forever. Take the clothes and put in the washing machine. Tidy up after you eat. Clean your bathroom (you need to know how). Learn how to iron. I still can't iron properly, but if needed, I can press a shirt and pair of trousers.

I am not certain how you ask someone how clean and tidy they are, but a good clue is their car. If you get into their car and it's dirty as hell, ALL THE TIME, it's a good bet they are a slob. As a tactic, just ask them how often they wash their car.

4. Budget. If you are not paying off your credit card every month, or you go on expensive vacations ALL the time with no savings, you need to back off. No one on Instagram that is commenting on your nice bags is going to come lend you 3000$ when you suddenly need it. In two years after your graduate your student loan should be paid off. Live interest free. If that means a cheaper, second hand car, that's what it is.

Have you ever gone grocery shopping? Start doing it regularly. You need to know how expensive is a head of a lettuce, a pair of lemons, tomato on the vine, bunch of apples, a pound of meat etc. Dollar store can be your friend, but not for electrical stuff.

Guys sometimes get insulted if asked how much they make. Don't. The correct answer should be a range, along with how much as a percentage of your earnings you try to save every month. Also if the girl is working, she should be ready for the question as well. What's sauce for the goose, etc.

5. Plan your wedding. This goes especially for kids that leave everything to their parents. DON'T. If you feel like you are not adult enough, don't get married. If you are going to get married, plan your wedding. That includes how much should be the expense, how many people you want to invite, the venue, the date etc. Each and every detail. This shows you are willing to take responsibility.

This goes especially for girls. Most of them are only focused on the dresses or the dance rehearsals, leaving the burden of the planning to the parents.

DON'T.

This is your first big test of adulthood. Remember point 1.

6. Learn how to host people and how to have fun and make friends. This is much more for ladies as our society puts this responsibility on you. You should be prepared to receive guests in the house at any time. Yes, in Canada people SHOULD call, but sometimes they don't. Also, look at point 3.

7. Have a 5 year plan. This is a must. If your prospective person does not have a future outline of a plan, where they want to be career wise, family wise, or education wise, RUN. A person who is coasting through life, or is aimless and has no focus, is unlikely to be a good partner in life. They make good friends, not life partners.

8. Watch the news. You MUST know what is happening in and around the world. I am not saying be updated on the latest activities of each and every incident, but have a general idea. You MUST be able to string an intelligible paragraph on current events.

ANYONE watching only Indian serials, especially when you are in your 20s, is someone you want to RUN from. There is NOTHING good that comes out of Indian media except an Aamir Khan movie every now and then.

Bonus: If someone says their favourite all time show is "Friends" - it's a good sign.

9. DRIVE. Learn how to drive. Seriously. What's the matter with you? Especially if you are a guy. Just. Learn. How. To. Drive.

10. Hobbies. You MUST HAVE HOBBIES. I really don't know what to say if you say your favourite past time is sleeping or watching TV. Those don't count. Play some sports. Read some books. Travel. Hike. Cook. Develop some interests.

Those are my top adulting skills that I think any young man and woman must have. What do you think?

Moving to Canada - Part 2 - Weather

 
See also:
Part 1 - School and Housing

Let's talk about the weather. All Canadians love to talk about the weather.

This is a cold country. It is cold for almost 6 months of the year. And that is in the good places. In the best of times. Take a look at all brochures of Canada, or Canadian universities, or Canadian tourism, or even our citizenship book. They all show glorious pictures of Canada, but in the summer.

Take a look at the "Canadian" television shows. They all show summer. And why not? Summer in Canada is gorgeous. It is amazing. It is spectacular. It is a wonder of nature.

It is also short.

In Toronto, summer can be June and July. And usually August. That's it. It's cold till almost May, and starts getting cold again at the end of September. Snow is usually from end of November to end of March. In other places, it can be worse. Only in British Columbia (and Vancouver as well as Victoria) is the weather much better.

Otherwise, it's a deep chill. Take a look at some Snow Day pictures.

All of this takes a toll on your health. There is the psychological and depressing effect (also known as "winter blues") at the reduced sunshine half the year. There is also the flu.

Every year in October the government of Canada offers free flu shots to everyone. And why not? The flu season officially gets underway with the onset of winter, and lasts till spring. So better get used to these names.

 
Tylenol.
Motrin.
Advil.
Buckleys.

And the children's versions.

This winter (2017 - 2018) the flu season has been really bad and virulent. And there's only so much you can do against viral attacks.

How does winter affect you other ways?

Think about groceries. If you are a new immigrant, you probably don't have access to a car yet. It's winter, it's snowing and you need groceries. So you have to bundle up and wait outside in the cold weather for a bus that's probably late. And if you are driving, good luck with the terrible weather conditions.

Also, there are Canadians for whom this is perfect biking weather.

Think also about the children. In the Spring, Fall or Summer you can take them outside for activities. In the winter, you are stuck indoors.

So how DO Canadians deal with the winter?

First, by NOT being here.

From November, you start seeing ads of what is called "sun destinations".

Cuba, Mexico, Aruba, Dominican Republic, Costa Rica, the whole of Caribbean, etc.

These vacations, in particular Punta Cana and Cuba, are very popular. Almost everyone goes for their "sun escape" at least once, if not twice a year.

Second, bundle up and take it on the chin.

Canadians are very resilient people. We take our flu shots. We always listen to the weather forecast so we can make (or cancel) our plans accordingly. We make sure we are properly attired for the weather. We make sure we have proper winter tires. We enroll our kids in winter activities such as karate or crafts. We make sure they know skating and skiing so they can take advantage of living in a winter country.

And above all, chin up and be optimistic.

After all, whether it's snowing outside or not, you still have to go to work.

My point in writing all of this?

So that immigrants to Canada immigrate for the right reasons. Don't be fooled by glossy brochures and TV images. Be prepared for the True North.

Moving to Canada - Part 1 - School and Housing

 
I have a lot of friends who are moving to Canada from the Middle East, so I have noticed the questions they ask sometimes follow a common thread. I thought I would pen this note down on some of the usual things to consider when uprooting your whole family from one place to Canada. This is specifically for moving to Toronto, but with a little change can apply anywhere in Canada.

This is probably part 1 of a multi part series.

Schools

Public education is free for all legal residents of the country and is funded by the province, and handled at the municipal level.

Schools in Canada are from September - June. During March, there is a week's break called March Break (also known as Spring Break). The exact dates of the breaks vary from school board to school board.  This is the Toronto school board calendar for 2017-2018.

Almost all public schools are of a similar standard.

In Toronto, the schools in North York are a bit better as the area is a bit more posh (and expensive). There are some schools that should be avoided as they are in areas commonly inhabited by refugees from poor countries and other people who are economically disadvantaged, so they have some issues (such as drugs, gangs). Although with time, those issues are being tackled, but you should be aware.

In Ontario, you can take a look at some rankings here.

http://ontario.compareschoolrankings.org/elementary/SchoolsByRankLocationName.aspx

Don't rely too much on them. Anything 5 and up is ok. You should always be dealing with a reputable real estate person (a realtor) who will be knowledgeable about these things, which brings me to my next point.

Areas in Toronto

Toronto is divided into boroughs - Scarborough is generally affordable and ethnically very diverse. Downtown is very expensive. North York is good and expensive. I have no idea what's there in Etobicoke (sorry). If it were up to me, I would see North York and then Scarborough as an option to reside in.

Avoid, AVOID, renting or living near an area called Jane and Finch (the intersection of Jane St and Finch St). Never go there. Also avoid Kennedy and Eglinton. Also avoid Westhill.

If you go out of Toronto, then you can look in Mississauga (west of Toronto) or Pickering (east of Toronto). I would go with Mississauga as it's a hip and happening place.

Regarding availability of housing, May and June is when most people move or change residences in Toronto. So you will get lots of vacancies around that time, but also lots of people are looking so things get snapped up very quickly. So, for example, if you move to Canada in March, there should be less listings (less choice) but the landlord is more likely to negotiate the rent down.

You can rent an apartment, a condo or a house. An apartment is a flat in a building - the whole of which has been made to rent to renters. It's cheaper than a condo, which is also an apartment, but the building it's in is mostly owned by individual people, and not one corporation. Condos are more upscale than apartments, and expensive, and have facilities such as pools and gym.

All rent estimates I am giving below are by area, so better area = higher rent. Also, this is as of late 2017.

Rent:

Condo 2 bedroom is $2000+,
1 bedroom is $1800+ (per month).
Apartments may be 100-200$ cheaper in the area.

Utilities (if not included in rent):
Water - $100
Gas+Heating - $100
Electricity - $100

Other costs:
Internet - $60
Transit (bus) - avg 1$20 / person/month (kids are free)
Each ride on bus is $3.5, monthly pass is 145$
Grocery (family of 4) $500-$800
School - free
General Health Doctor - free
Medicine for kids - free

As I said, this is likely to be a many part series. In some other (future) parts, insha Allah I will talk about cultural factors, children, society etc. when you move in.

Check also my Dubai vs. Toronto series.

Woodbine Mall Fantasy Fair

Amusement arcades and rides inside malls seemed to be common in big malls in UAE. Even when I visited Sharjah, one of the malls there had a little amusement park with rides and arcade games inside. It's not something that's common here.

There was a huge amusement park inside West Edmonton Mall which we visited, and it was huge, but that's an exception. In Toronto, we have the Woodbine Mall Fantasy Fair.

We had a Groupon deal that let 4 people ride unlimited for $30, so we went there last Saturday. The centre opens at 10 am and we were there at 11 am. It was great, there wasn't much of a line up at any of the rides, and we got to do everything at a relaxed pace, which is no mean feat with two toddlers.

The train ride is a popular one, and it goes all around the "amusement park", and the kids thoroughly enjoyed it. I reflected that with the groupon deal, this was the first time I was actually riding the rides! Usually as father I am the one paying and taking pictures and not enjoying the rides.

Even though some of the rides had height restrictions, most of the rides were suitable for all kids (and adults).

If you were not into rides, they had some other activities like "rock climbing". What I liked most was that even the most "extreme" attractions were geared for being suitable for kids.

So even the ride usually known as 'drop zone' or 'freefall' was made sure it didn't go too high, and kids could ride in it, although this particular kid didn't seem to have enjoyed it a lot!

They also had dinosaurs all over the park, for some reason! Almost all types of dinosaurs, from the big to the small, herbivores to carnivores, were there on display, and these were moving and roaring! I don't really know why they were there; it didn't seem to fit under any theme and did nothing for the rides.

If you are visiting this place, I would suggest going early. It fills up very quickly and gets really busy on some days, especially long weekends.

There's no halal food food in the food court except a shawarma place. So if you are not a fan of that, and you can't eat anything else at the mall, you should either bring your own food.You can go in and out as many times as you like, there's no real "gate". They check you for tokens or tickets at every ride.

We had a stroller with us, but we could leave it beside the ride while we went on it. A stroller was also useful as the youngest one decided to sleep in the afternoon while one of us accompanied the older kid on the rides. It's also a great place to dump your jackets, caps and mittens!

Over all it was a fun morning and afternoon. Although the mall itself is nothing to write home about, you can have a good time at the Fantasy Fair, provided it doesn't get too crowded. Come early, and enjoy!

Should Kids Be Banned From First Class?

 
As a dad who just flew halfway across the world with two young boys, I can tell you that flying with kids isn't easy. While the older one kept himself busy with movies and games and toys (thank you Emirates!), the younger one couldn't understand why he was cooped in that small place without any seat (that's why we flew when you are less than two, kid, coz it's cheaper!).

I think 8 hours was our longest flight (Toronto to London) and it was the maximum we could really handle. We broke up our flight to India into pit stops. Couple of days in London, some days in Dubai, and then to India, and same on the way back. And I think this kept us sane; we wouldn't have been able to handle a 15 hour direct flight back with a screaming infant. And then a screaming toddler because the screaming infant bit him. Fun!

So when I read on the news about a bunch of passengers miffed about a crying baby in first class (and Delta's awful reaction to that), I could understand. You paid $10,000 to ride first class, and you want to ride in comfort. Screaming baby, especially someone else's screaming baby, does not equal comfort. Though if you paid that much for a Delta seat of all airlines I really have to question your logic, I mean Delta?!!

But you know what, deal with it. You paid for your seat, not someone else's. An aircraft is a shared place and there's all types of people. Just like the uncle who keeps burping in the mosque (and who I really want to take out ban, but can't), you have to tolerate noises from other folks that are discomforting to you.

One flight I spent next to someone who wouldn't take the hint and kept trying to make conversation with me (in case you can't tell, I am an introvert kind of person on a flight, and also not on a flight). Another time this lady behind me did nothing to control her wild toddler who kept kicking my seat. That's what goes on in a public space - you have to deal with inconveniences.

I have noticed this same trend go to other discussions, such as the insane proposal to ban strollers on public transit. Now, granted, some strollers look like SUVs, and some inconsiderate moms really just "park" their stroller at the entrance while blocking the pathway on the bus for others, but most are simply ordinary folks trying to use the public transit just like you and me.

I am often trying to sleep on the subway ride home, but sometimes there's two chatterboxes who sit adjacent to me and talk in a loud voice all the way. I mean, like, you know, it's like ... what the hell .. you spend the entire Islington to Kennedy talking about nothing. But you can't really start implementing "quiet zones" on the TTC subways.

So if a parent wants to pay and take their screaming kid on first class, why not. Deal with it.

Western Canada Diaries - The Complete List

Update: For 2019 links, scroll to the bottom.

2016:

Overview
Here's a total complete list of all my posts regarding my great Western Canada road trip of 2016. If you are thinking of visiting the Rockies, or travelling to BC, you may find these links useful. 

This was a rough map of our travels.

Calgary
- General Introduction
- Olympic Plaza
- Nose Hill Park, Chestermere and Peace Bridge

Banff & Jasper
- General Planning for Banff & Jasper
- Banff Gondola (Sulphur Mountain)
- Lake Minnewanka Cruise
- Bow Falls & Vermilion Lakes
- Lake Louise & Moraine Lake
- Icefields Parkway
- Lake Peyto and Bow Summit Lookout
- The Crossing Resort
- Columbia Icefield Glacier Adventure and Skywalk

Edmonton
A visit to the capital of Alberta, and the West Edmonton Mall (once the largest mall in the world) and City Hall.

Drumheller
Around an hour and half drive north east of Calgary lies the town of Drumheller, also known as the Dinosaur Capital of the World, or Dinosaur Valley.

Whistler
Recalling our journey through Canada's deadliest highway, Route 99's Duffey Lake Road, and a pit stop at Whistler.

Vancouver
- The Capilano Suspension Bridge
- Stanley Park
- Other highlights of Vancouver

Victoria
A trip to this beautiful, historical city on Vancouver Island, and nearby attractions such as the Butchart Gardens.

2019:

Rockies - Banff

Lake Louise Turned into a Zoo

Jasper

Do you need to spend $100K+ on your wedding?

Desi weddings are notorious for being a big affair. Over 300 guests is normal (that's actually small). In India and Bangladesh you can easily have a guest list of over 500. Large halls in Mississauga and Brampton in Ontario are testament to the fact that brown weddings are a huge business.

Recently a status started to be forwarded on social media (mostly by already married millennials) about a guy stating how he did not want to get married in a huge and lavish ceremony. Here's an excerpt (emphasis mine).

 You "invest" $100,000 and what do you get out of it? A few nice portraits of you and your family wearing some South Asian Halloween costumes? Or for a dumb 3 minute wedding video to put on youtube?
$100,000 for some pictures and a youtube video. How's that not a ponzi scheme? And here's the thing. I know many people in our community may be wealthy, but who HONESTLY has $100,000 to spend? Who REALLY has that much money?

Now here's the thing. If you had asked a twenty year old me I would have agreed 100% with this writer. Of course weddings in our community are needlessly large and shamelessly an occasion to flout one's wealth. When you are twenty, you are idealistic. You aren't experienced in the nuances of real practical life.

And you of course bring religion into it because you think it supports your ideal fantasy.

Of course Islam tells us not to be lavish!

Of course we should not be extravagant!

Here's the thing though. Once you are thirty plus, you start experience life as it really is, not as it should be. And you learn that many things you once idealized as black and white really has lots of shades of grey.

For example, one of the weddings (with Ramla bint Abu Sufiyan) of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was thrown by the King of Abyssinia himself. It's hard to imagine that wouldn't have been at least a semi-lavish affair. Moreover, when the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) married Maymunah bint Al Harith, he wanted to invite all of Makkah to his wedding. That would have been at least 300 people, if not more. So while Islam does take a stand against extravagance, and urges people to invite both the rich and poor to weddings for there to be blessings, it doesn't define extravagance.

And that is the whole point.

The answer to Do you need to spend $100K+ on your wedding is very simple.

It depends.

Do you have over $100K+ to spend? And spend so it won't hurt you, bankrupt you, derail your future etc.? Then go ahead ... spend it.

If you don't have that money to burn, then simple. Don't burn it.

Recently a friend of mine got married. His marriage was a blast. There were days of functions, of music, of masti, etc. It felt like I was back home in Bangladesh. Except it was all here in Toronto (or, to be precise, Brampton). I am guessing he has the money to burn. Who am I to tell him that this money is not going to buy him happiness? Maybe that's what he always wanted to do - have a huge blast at his wedding.

More and more millennials are now not following the older generation's lead in inviting every body in their contact book for their wedding. They invite only close friends and then have a huge party. What's wrong with that?

And also, there's nothing wrong if you don't want to spend that much. It's all a matter of what you want balanced with what you can afford.

When I was a student, I bought an old used car for $5K. Even that seemed a lot of money, but the car took me everywhere. I maintained it well and it served me for over ten years.

Then, when it broke down, I bought a brand new car for $25K. It did the same things as the first car did. I could have spent less, but I didn't. I wanted a new car, and I could alhamdulillah afford it. I knwo there's lots of comparisons between getting married and buying a car, so I am adding this one there as it makes the point.

I am not going to get into shaming anyone who had a big, beautiful, desi wedding. If you can afford it, and if you wanted it ... all the more power to you.

Which TTC Seat is the best?

I have been travelling in Toronto using the "better way" aka the subway aka TTC for the last 3 years. Since I get on at the end of the line, I have a whole empty subway train in the morning to select from as to where to sear. It's a debate that has often plagued me - am I using the best seat for optimum comfort? I present to you the options.

This is the typical layout of a Toronto subway train on the Bloor-Danforth line. A group of 5 seats in close proximity to each other.

Seat A - Good if you are a thin person (I am not). You have a whole side to lean against (on your left), so you can simply cozy up and sleep.

Seat B - Really tight. Sometimes someone like me seats in Seat A, so they are really occupying a little portion of Seat B. Then you really have 80% of Seat B. And a pillar. This is the worst seat.

Seat C - I like this seat. The empty space between this and Seat D means lots of space if you are not exactly thin. The pillar prevents the person in Seat B from occupying your space. The best seat, in my opinion.

Seat D - Once again you have a whole wall to lean on. But your leg space is tightly cramped first by person in Seat C, and second from the heating duct at the bottom. So you have a full seat till your waist, and then three quarters of a place to put your legs down. This is a seat for thin girls.

Seat E - the back up seat to Seat C. You have a whole space on the left of the seat (or right if it's on the other side) to stretch out. There's a pillar to rest your head on (not shown in this picture).

What do you think? Which seat is best?

Remember, the target is to peacefully sleep like this:

So if you know which door to enter from when the train comes to a stop, you can go grab your seat.

As a bonus, here's the seats on the smaller Scarborough RT.

The Scarborough RT's a really short ride to fall asleep (plus it's Scarborough so you really want to be awake) but I think in this case, seat C is the best. You have this whole space between the seats, so it's not just the seat, but more, and a pillar to ward off other encroachers. Good seat design.

Back To The Future For Geocities

Nostalgia seems to be pretty big nowadays. Today I was surprised to see an article on nostalgia for Web 1.0.

Er, Web 1.0, you ask. What is that?

That used to be the day. This was the internet of the late 90s and early 2000s. Those were the days before Google took shape (I remember using Alta Vista search engine) and blogging was just lurking around the corner. If you wanted a website, you had to build your own. You had to know HTML, DHTML and perhaps JavaScript (nowadays you just need a blogger or wordpress account). The best example was of course Geocities.

I had a Geocities account. Curiosity got the better of me and I used an internet archiver to see what my website looked like in 2002.

I also had a little bit of space on the university website (both as a student and as a TA) and this is what it looked like (the archiver is missing some of the images as well as styles).

What I find amazing is just the sheer amount of personal information I used to put online back then! One can argue we put more information online nowadays on Facebook and LinkedIn but those are behind a password protected account and shared with friends only (or so we think). From my site in 2002 you would know the names of my friends, my class schedule, where I worked, what my interests were, where we went for holidays and what I thought about the World Cup (well, some things don't change). ANY one could have seen that and all that was preventing them from visiting my site was not knowing the exact URL.

Ironically, I see that the time when Google broke through was when Geocities began to die, and blogging started to take root. I have already been blogging since 2004 (more than a decade now; my first post was on a cricket match).

I wonder what I will be posting as nostalgia in another ten years! Perhaps we will be looking back on the glory days of Facebook!

"Spring" in Canada

Spring in Canada was supposed to begin on March 20, 2015. The news channels gleefully report the low temperatures as "spring" officially begins. Yet, I have to say to these folk - you use the word "Spring", but I don't think it means what you think it means.

So last week (in fact on Good Friday, two days ago) it was a brilliant, sunny 17 C. A perfect Spring day. Yet this morning, we in Toronto woke up to this.

Yup, snow. And temperature a chilly 3 C. That's lower than what is in your fridge (the bottom portion). Sometimes I wonder why I am here. If it wasn't the peace and security of life, a good sense of law and order, freedom of speech and religion, top notch healthcare, a First World life style of convenience and comfort, liberty to pursue a life of happiness and accordance of full rights as a citizen and a sense of belonging - not many people would live here.

For the last 2 years I worked at a job that required a lot of travelling within the United States. Whenever I would go visit San Diego or Southern California, during the winter, and see that their lowest temperature is what we would consider Spring, I would rethink my decision to live in Toronto. If only Canada had an area like that!

Meanwhile, let's enjoy Spring. Summer can't be too far away.

If you were to have told me, when I lived in UAE, that I would actually look forward to summer, I would have called you crazy. It just tells you, the grass on the other side ...

Shopping with my toddler son

I am at Walmart with my two-and-half-year old son when he picks up a Thomas toy.

Me: Please put it back. I am not paying for it.

Son: Why?

Me: You already have a lot of Thomas toys.

Son: What if I pay for it?

Me [laughing]: How will you pay for it? You have no money!

Son: I have mommy!

7 Irritating Things Brown Uncles Say To Slightly Heavier Younger People

Now, I am not exactly Brad Pitt. And I also don't have a six pack (well technically I do, but it's not showing up). And I am not also exactly in shape (unless you count cutish-oval as a shape).

However, I don't also need 2 seats on a bus nor do I need to wear a thobe ala Homer Simpson style to hide my pounds. I am somewhere at that happy stage where I don't eat all the time, but when I am hungry, and I go to the gym or work out when I want to, not because I have to post about it on Facebook.

However, tell that to brown uncles, who all think they are certified personal physical trainers (despite the fact that some of them wouldn't last 1 lap at the pool). Here's some oh-no-you-just-didn't-say-that things that brown uncles say to younger brown men that they would never say to a white guy. And not just brown uncles. Cousins. "Well-wishers". Co-workers. This is to all of you.

1. You seemed to have gained some weight.

Tumi to ektu mota hoye geso.

Oh gee! Seriously! OMG! I didn't notice! I mean, the jeans I bought five years ago don't fit anymore (and that I kept out of some morbid hope that I would go back to five sizes), but I was so blaming the washing machine and the recently cold weather for shrinking my clothes. Thank you so much for this revelation! I mean, I didn't know AT ALL that I am not exactly in shape since 1990 but now I do!

And what do you mean seem? Don't you trust your eyes?

2. You know, you should join the gym.

No way! Really?!! No I totally didn't think of that one.... thank you for suggesting something so earth shattering!!! Btw, I am assuming you are going to foot my $55/month plan, and personal trainer costs ... ? Hello? BTW have you seen your wife, the Brown Aunty? Also known as The Bus?

3. Wow, 2 glasses of Coke!

Ei boyoshe ektu control dorkar.

Hey! No one really NEEDS that extra glass of Coke (or even that first glass) but you know what. I am going to drink it ANYWAYS because Goddamnit it's refreshing and I don't care how many chain letters you forward about how Coke can dissolve the Great Wall of China or firefighters use it to clean their hoses. It's Coke and I WANT IT.

4. Have you lost weight?
Either you are suffering from severe eye sight issues, or dementia, or you are a pathological liar. Just. Please. Stop commenting on other people's weight. Just don't.

5. You’d look better if you were thinner.

Tumi jodi ektu chikon hoita tahole to hero lagta.

Hey, I have seen myself naked in the mirror, and I LOVE me. I am sure I could look much better but hey, I could also have scared small children. Which I don't, just FYI. So, yeah, whatever. Someday we all will die and for sure we will get thinner after that. Don't know about the looks though. Speaking of morbid things ...

6. I heard the other day a 30 year old complete healthy and fit man had a heart attack!

That's good, as I am definitely not 30 years old any more ...

7. You should start eating healthy. How about sticking to salads only.

OMG someday I will punch the person who will say that to me! Jibone kokhono salad khao nai, and now they are a nutrition expert.

And as if Salad is the ONLY healthy food. Most brown uncles who say this are either eating horrible deep friend ground beef samosas themselves or are married to chiria aunties who have never been overweight a day in their lives and still think they look like Suchitra Sen after 2 tonnes of make up.

Wow.

I guess I should be happy I am not a girl. They get asked even weirder questions.

Toronto Ice Storm 2013

As I compose this post, we have no power at our place for over 30 hours now. We moved to our parents' place for the interim; as they were one of the lucky ones not to lose power. Over 300,000 in Toronto are now without power, and Toronto Hydro is saying it could take over 72 hours before the situation goes back to normal.

The ice storm started Saturday evening and continued all night into Sunday morning. We lost power early Saturday evening. In the morning, when we went over to my parents, I took some pictures. It did look beautiful and surreal, but it was also deadly.

 

It looked like the scene from a post-apocalyptic movie. Trees and branches were broken and lying around, and cars were abandoned on the roads, completely encased in ice.

 

 

It was easy to tell which houses had power (and thus, heat); they were the ones without a thick coat of ice on the windows.

It took us over forty five minutes to dig out my sister's car, which was left on the driveway and had a layer of ice on top about half an inch thick.

 

After about half an hour's of scraping and warming up the car, we managed to open a door and roll down the window. The ice remained outside.

 

 

It reminded me of a Tom and Jerry cartoon when the temperature had suddenly plummeted, and everything froze in an instant. Kind of like some scenes out of Day After Tomorrow.

As I write this, I know that it may take time (up to 72 hours!) but insha Allah, my life WILL return to normal once power is restored. However, there are some in the world who are not so fortunate. Only 15% of the people in Gaza have power or water at any one time, and refugees in Syria are dying in the cold due to lack of shelter and food.

We in the First World are truly blessed, and we should do something for others less fortunate, and always give thanks to Allah for our blessings.

Confessions of a New Parent

Things not to say to your wife when she is in a 20-hour labour:
"Oh, man, this hospital doesn't have wi-fi!"

"I have been standing for an hour! My feet are killing me."

Things a nurse shouldn't say to you just because you are desi:

"You have a beautiful baby. Namaste!" Namaste?!!!

Things then you should (probably) do in front of said nurse (but will end up doing in private):

Say the Azaan in the baby's right ear. Ikamah in the left. Watch baby smile.

The time when your baby looks like you:

The time when your relatives see the baby to when her relatives see the baby.

Things you miss as a new parent:

Free time.

Going to the movies.

Free time.

Coming home from work to a fresh home-cooked meal.

A clean house.

Free time.

Ability to go out at will without worrying about feeding time and nappies.

Did I mention free time?

Why it's all (and much, much, more) so worth it:

When his first word is "Abbu" (father)! Well, my wife thinks differently but this is my blog ...

Every day I thank Allah for His marvellous gift and blessing (amongst others).

And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If you are grateful, I will add more (favors) unto you; But if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.” (Quran 14:7)

We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts), of Hearing and Sight. We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will). (Quran 76:2-3)

And He gives you all that you ask for. But if you count the favours of Allah, never will you be able to number them. Verily, man is generally most unjust and ungrateful. (Quran 14:34)

Please keep our new bundle of joy and our family in your prayers, everyone.

Packing and Ashes

Wife: "So, you know we have to buy gifts for ALL your cousins and ALL of MY cousins ..."

Me: "Don't worry, I have the Excel spread sheet ready."

Wife [shocked]: "Excel .... spreadsheet?"

Me: "Yes, everyone's name is entered, along with number of kids, number of gifts required, with currency rate and value of gift in taka and dollars."

Wife: "You know, at some point you have to go and actually buy the gifts, right?"

[Silence]

Me: "I hate shopping."

Man, I hate shopping. Every Christmas, I tell myself I am so glad I am not a Christian so I don't have to go out into the malls and brave the crowds to buy something. And EVERY Christmas I have to go and buy some thing.

I would rather be doing this... which actually I was last week.


Yup, watching the Ashes, with Cricinfo running commentary on one screen and the video on the other. And yes, my comments (feedback) was actually printed by the Cricinfo people.


Yes, there was no point to this post ... except to remind me that I am YET to start packing, YET to confirm the hotels... YET to print the flight details ...

I. Am. Done.

I am done.

Wrote the final final exam of my MBA degree today. It was on Advanced Negotiations. Yes, we had a final exam for that course.

Someday, I will write about my (mostly fantastic) experience at Canada's top business school but for now, I feel ... free.

So, if you any of you are looking to hire a person capable of managing multiple complicated projects (hey, I have a wife, a career AND school!), with fantastic writing skills (but of course!), with skills AND experience (I will get you something), sophisticated and smart (not to mention - modest) ... you know how to reach me. :-)

Lost Cat

We have lost our beloved pet for 7 years, a black Persian cat, missing since morning Friday March 19.

She is about 7 years old, medium sized, responds to name "Mini". Mini is very friendly and domesticated, however she is a bit shy and timid, and can run away when startled.

Mini is an indoor cat, but it seems she unfortunately got out somehow; naturally we are quite distressed. Any helpful hints/information/prayers will be much appreciated.

Family Dessert in Canada

A key activity in Canada is going for dessert.

Initially this was a somewhat strange activity for me. Mind you, in the Middle East, where I was brought up, it was as hot as hell, yet dessert places were hardly present in the 80s and 90s. If you wanted ice cream, you went to the local convenience store run by a guy from Kerala and got a Kwality bar.

So, in Canada, in the land of ice and snow, you actually got dressed, went to, and PAID to eat ice cream?

First, if you or a sibling is treating, you have to convince the parents to come. Typical desi father reaction would be: "What, PAY to eat ice cream? NO WAY! I will go to No Frills now, get that box, and we can mash some bananas in the blender..."

Of course then your dad would tell your mom that he is only going "for the family" and he will not eat "anything". But you notice he still eats less for dinner ...

So the family goes to the dessert place.

And then spend 20 minutes trying to explain the menu to those who haven't been there before.

"No, Moo La La is really good... and no, Forbidden Fruits doesn't have anything haram ..."


Then usually the sibling who is NOT treating decides he (or she) wants an extra order on the side because the other sibling is paying, so they will order a shake.


The food, when it comes all at once, silences everyone.

After all, no one does dessert and crepes and waffles like Canadians!


Even the parents decide it was indeed good and passes the "Parent Restaurant Test" - which is that the food is something they could not have made at home, is indeed good, and worth paying for.


If you have a wife, you will know that chocolates and ice cream for some reason is the cure to every problem.

And then the drive back home your dad thinks they should really open a place like this much closer to home.

The Funeral

It was just yesterday I was attending Eid prayers. Today, I have just come back from attending a funeral prayer.

After a whole Ramadan when Allah was always warning us to take death seriously and in the rush for this material world not to forget the hereafter, it was a shock to have some one quite near to you suddenly leave for his heavenly abode. It was all very unexpected.

If you have the time, please say a prayer for my friend's father-in-law, who unexpectedly passed away yesterday morning.

When a person passes away, it's usually polite or customary to embellish the deceased's good qualities and forget the bad ones. Here, no embellishment is necessary. This person, who we all called 'uncle', was a genuinely nice, kind, good and simple hearted man, who was always jolly, jovial and had a smile on his face. He was a pillar of our small ex-UAE Bangladeshi community, and played in role in organizing any and every festive occasion or gathering.

He was someone whom if you met, and then learned he was Muslim, you would then develop a very favorable opinion of Muslims. A testimony to his good nature was the huge, huge number of people, well wishers and mourners, who gathered at a Scarborough mosque for his janazah (funeral) prayer, on a rainy Monday, at an odd time of 2 pm, on a work day.

I always thought the beauty of Islam is its simplicity. There are people who are bent on making things complicated, usually by a too literal interpretation or not adhering to the spirit of the law - and in my eyes it is against those people intent on making this hard on themselves that Surah Baqarah is aimed at. Today, in the funeral prayer, I witnessed the final rites of a Muslim on this world, and marveled at how beautiful and divine this simplicity really is, when my friend's father made a heart touching speech before the prayer, about his son's late father-in-law.

There was no need to extol what a great man the late person was. Those, who were his friends, knew. Those who were not but were just present in the mosque, all that was needed from them was their prayers. That's what my friend's dad asked for. He also asked if anyone had any claims against his estate. And, finally, with his voice breaking, he also asked anyone to forgive any mistakes his late "brother" may have done against any one. And after those two simple minutes, it was time for the prayer. With his family saying their final goodbyes, the congregation headed to the cemetery.

In the end, all that was left, after everything was over, were a few quiet moments of personal reflection.

"O my people! Lo! this life of the world is but a passing comfort, it is the Hereafter that is the Home that will last." [Quran 40:39].