"So, how's my wife?"
My friend hands me a picture of his wife and asks, "So, what do you think?"
No, this is not something kinky. It's a common situation in desiworld, followed usually by an equally common and awkward pause. My friend had gone back to desiland and gotten married (usually the typically arranged marriage NTTAWWT*). Upon returning to Canada, we meet up, as he is waiting for his wife's visa before she can join him here. In the meanwhile, I am going through the wedding album. He picks out a picture of the wife and then asks, "So what do you think of your bhabi?"
You cannot come out and say "Oh man she's HOT! You hit the jackpot dude! Two thumbs up!" Nor can you say, "That is the bride?"
It's tough to really see how beautiful a bride is. All bridal pictures are the same. Tons of make up, gold, the reddest of red saris - any woman will look gorgeous in that getup. And you cannot ask, "No, show me a regulaaaar picture." So the best answer is usually, "ya she looks good, I guess. Congratulations." And then switch the conversation by asking him if he got back any pirated DVDs.
On another note *rant alert*, some desi moms seem to have this compulsive obsessive disorder of not marrying their daughter to a guy unless the guy is a doctor. Doctors start earning ten times what an average guy will earn as starting salary. But they are also typically (a lot) older than the average guy (like 10 years difference?). I mean, there's nothing wrong with a doctor, but why only a doctor? what's the big deal?
I am talking of my friend above (and no, it's not me, it's really this friend of mine from university). He liked one of the girls in our class, and after a lot of long distance one way sighs he plucked up the courage to talk to her. That turned to a full blown affair on MSN (we were comp sci after all). As we all hung out together, we could see that they really clicked. But when, in a desire to do it completely the halal way, an 'official' proposal was sent via a third party to the girl's parents, it got rejected. I found out later it was because the girl's mom wanted a doctor for her daughter. Someone who can keep her rich (and presumably happy).
Now financial stability is important, but why reject a good proposal? It's not that the guy is penniless, on the contrary he got a proper job in his field after graduation. Just he's not a doctor. And what was even puzzling was that the girl was completely OK with her mom's interference. Which all led to us wondering how serious was the love anyways.
One of the Hadith (sayings of the Messenger of God) goes, "If someone with whose piety and character you are satisfied comes to you, then marry him. If you do not do so, there will be disorder in the earth and a great deal of evil." (Reported by At-Tirmidhi). On another note, isn't that like the Coolest Hadith Ever? It can be part of my regular muslim pickup line, "hi, it's your religious duty to ... hey?!! Where are you going?"
And what happened to my friend? Well, he went back to desiland, got married and is now showing me a picture of his wife. And he is completely infatuated with her. Such are the strange ways of brown people.
Tags: Arranged Marriage Desi
*NTTAWWT Not That There's Anything Wrong With That