I took my car to the dealership today for some oil change, as well as some other regular maintenance stuff they had tagged on to the bill. I have a weird habit of collecting all the loose change that sits on the CD compartment (left overs from drive-ins, movie nights and grocery trips), place them in a small bag and hide it in the trunk. Yes, I don't want the anonymous guy servicing my car to steal any change from the $5.23 that is there. I know it's petty, but I feel like I am being gouged anyways, and do not literally want to pay a cent more than what is forced out of me.
Speaking of forced contributions, this slipped below my radar: Ontario Conservative Party to debate funding faith-based schools. The Tories are concerned that parents of kids who attend private schools are paying for tuition twice - first, through their taxes they are funding the public education system, and second, their kids' tuition at the private school. While this may not be a concern to rich parents of rich kids attending exclusive private schools, it is a big deal to parents sending their kids to faith-based private schools. A majority of these happen to be Muslim and Jewish kids.
Whenever I go to a mosque, I make it a point to donate a little amount (usually spare change that did not make it to my car). Usually, there are separate boxes for mosque funds, and a school. I NEVER donate to the school. I do not agree with faith-based schools. I feel all Muslims should attend public schools. You are exposed to all types of people from all backgrounds, from all faiths, cultures and creeds.
In an Islamic school that I attended in the Middle East before my parents thankfully moved me to a British school, the teachers were very close minded. There was a lot of racism. And I saw first hand examples of preaching one thing and practising something else. We were forced to pray Zuhr, and I used to hate it. After I left that school, I gave up prayers. I felt I was free. Forcing me to pray did nothing to endear that to me. Later, I started praying again of my own accord, as I understood why we have to pray. I attend parties where many drink, or do other stuff, yet I don't. I found out that all Chinese people did not eat cockroaches, all white girls are not drunk sluts, etc. Living and working amongst people from diverse backgrounds broadens one's outlook. I have friends from all walks of life. After all, in Toronto, public schools accomodate Muslims in many ways (such as prayer breaks, giving up rooms for Jummah, and so on).
Now, my view may not be your view. Which is fine, you are free to support Islamic schools by your donations, or by sending your kids there if you like. But if the Tories form the next Ontario government and push this idea through, I will now be forced to support not only Islamic schools, but Jewish schools, Sikh schools, Hindu schools, etc. Why?
Note: In Canada, Catholic schools are funded by the public "by law", which is how the Tories raised funding for other faiths on an equality basis [Wikipedia].
Tags: Islamic Schools Ontario Tories
The personal, official blog of author Mezbauddin Mahtab
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Thursday, February 23, 2006
Challenges of A Ski Trip
For the last 3 years I had organized the yearly BSA ski trip to Blue Mountain resort. This was the first year I had stayed out of it, merely advising Esha on how to go about it. Organizing a ski trip - for brown people - comes with its own set of challenges.
Blue Mountain requires you to submit a master form, which, of all things, requires each member of your group's name, age, weight, height, and shoe size. This is the conversation I have had with one girl the first time I was the organizer.
It soon dawned on me that some girls really have a problem about disclosing their weight, shoe size and height to a guy they hardly know.
The resort is 2 hours north of Toronto, and we need a certain number - 20 - for the group discount. Skiing and brown people are usually foreign to each other, so no matter how rude some people can get, we can't casually dismiss people who could go. So when the above girl called back (eventually, after doing a background check on me I presume), I took down her information (given rather reluctantly with plenty of suggestions as to what we really do with the information).
Second year, I was bit smarter. Another girl.
This was not going well. She didn't call back.
By third year things were better, as people knew the drill by now. This year, since it was Esha who did all the information soliciting, I don't think she had any trouble.
Then ofcourse, there remains the challenge of getting Bengali people to show up at 6 am in the morning ...
Tags: Ski Trip BSA Blue Mountain
Blue Mountain requires you to submit a master form, which, of all things, requires each member of your group's name, age, weight, height, and shoe size. This is the conversation I have had with one girl the first time I was the organizer.
Girl: Ok, so it'll be me and 2 of my friends.
Me: Good, I will need your age, weight, height and shoe size.
[Pause]
Girl: You will need my what, what, what and what?
Me [thinking she had bad hearing]: Age, weig-
[Click]
It soon dawned on me that some girls really have a problem about disclosing their weight, shoe size and height to a guy they hardly know.
The resort is 2 hours north of Toronto, and we need a certain number - 20 - for the group discount. Skiing and brown people are usually foreign to each other, so no matter how rude some people can get, we can't casually dismiss people who could go. So when the above girl called back (eventually, after doing a background check on me I presume), I took down her information (given rather reluctantly with plenty of suggestions as to what we really do with the information).
Second year, I was bit smarter. Another girl.
Girl: Ok, so it'll be me, my boyfriend, and his sister.
Me: Good, I will need everyone's age, weight, height and shoe size.
[Pause]
Girl [in a strict tone]: Why?
Me [unsuccessfully trying to use some big words]: It's a required information I have to solicit for the master resort rental form.
Girl: Are you sure you need this information?
[pause as I digest her bluntness]
Me: Yes, if you want I can email you the rental form.
Girl: So now you want my MSN email as well.
Me [panicking]: Well, how else should you receive more information on the trip? Unless you give me your telephone number -
[Click]
This was not going well. She didn't call back.
By third year things were better, as people knew the drill by now. This year, since it was Esha who did all the information soliciting, I don't think she had any trouble.
Then ofcourse, there remains the challenge of getting Bengali people to show up at 6 am in the morning ...
Tags: Ski Trip BSA Blue Mountain
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
The Free Time Of Our Leaders
I sometimes wonder if our desi politicians really have any work to do.
Last time when I visited Bangladesh, I was struck by the fact that common people simply seemed to have a lot of free time on their hands.
A fistfight erupts between two college kids outside New Market, a crowd gathers to watch the fight. A pickpocket is captured by someone, a mob gathers around to beat him up. An accident happens, and immediately a huge group of onlookers gather to peer at the wrangled mess of a rickshaw and a scooter. A poor, mad woman decided to climb up the electric pole, leading to thousands immediately gathering at the base to watch her get electrocuted/saved.
To the people in the crowd: don't you have any work?
I was in my uncle's car near Savar and the driver got into a narrow alley. Immediately one kid appeared from nowhere and appointed himself as traffic director, stopping rickshaws, directing pedestrians and making way for the car.
It's Friday, the imam says something to the crowd, and immediately 10,000 people gather for a protest, getting offended about something that affects them remotely at best.
Again, don't you have any work to do? Kids to pick up from school, dawats to attend to, groceries to buy, take the car for servicing? Despite one of the lowest GDPs in the world, with record unemployment and poverty, how do you have so much free time? I mean, people actually sit home and watch Test cricket for 5 days!
And if this is the common folk, what about our politicians?
Today, Bangladesh won in cricket, beating Sri Lanka by 4 wickets. And what did our politicians do?
With all the problems facing the country (the Opposition boycotting parliament, India accusing Bangladesh of promoting illegal immigration, Farakka dam issue, CHT insurgency, bombs in Dhaka, US politicians accusing Bangladesh of terrorism, election laws reforms to be debated) this is what they do?
Congratulate the cricket team? Soon you will the PM Khaleda Zia calling them up personally and announcing cash and land prices for the team.
What about Pakistani leaders?
They are facing growing discontent in Baluchistan. Women in Pakistan are denied justice when raped. Thousands of people are still marching over cartoons (or are they). The US is letting off explosives inside Pakistan. The terrorists are using the border areas to fight Kabul.
And, as Zainub pointed out, what is Musharref upto these days?
Why, he attends cricket games (for full 8 hours), grabs the mike from an announcer and comments on the Indian wicket keeper's hairstyle.
Honestly, no wonder nothing gets done back in those countries. That the countries still function is a testament to the existence of Allah.
Tags: Cricket Desi
Last time when I visited Bangladesh, I was struck by the fact that common people simply seemed to have a lot of free time on their hands.
A fistfight erupts between two college kids outside New Market, a crowd gathers to watch the fight. A pickpocket is captured by someone, a mob gathers around to beat him up. An accident happens, and immediately a huge group of onlookers gather to peer at the wrangled mess of a rickshaw and a scooter. A poor, mad woman decided to climb up the electric pole, leading to thousands immediately gathering at the base to watch her get electrocuted/saved.
To the people in the crowd: don't you have any work?
I was in my uncle's car near Savar and the driver got into a narrow alley. Immediately one kid appeared from nowhere and appointed himself as traffic director, stopping rickshaws, directing pedestrians and making way for the car.
It's Friday, the imam says something to the crowd, and immediately 10,000 people gather for a protest, getting offended about something that affects them remotely at best.
Again, don't you have any work to do? Kids to pick up from school, dawats to attend to, groceries to buy, take the car for servicing? Despite one of the lowest GDPs in the world, with record unemployment and poverty, how do you have so much free time? I mean, people actually sit home and watch Test cricket for 5 days!
And if this is the common folk, what about our politicians?
Today, Bangladesh won in cricket, beating Sri Lanka by 4 wickets. And what did our politicians do?
Parliament unanimously passed a felicitation motion Wednesday congratulating Bangladesh cricket team for its first ever one-day victory against Sri Lanka in Bogra.
With all the problems facing the country (the Opposition boycotting parliament, India accusing Bangladesh of promoting illegal immigration, Farakka dam issue, CHT insurgency, bombs in Dhaka, US politicians accusing Bangladesh of terrorism, election laws reforms to be debated) this is what they do?
Congratulate the cricket team? Soon you will the PM Khaleda Zia calling them up personally and announcing cash and land prices for the team.
What about Pakistani leaders?
They are facing growing discontent in Baluchistan. Women in Pakistan are denied justice when raped. Thousands of people are still marching over cartoons (or are they). The US is letting off explosives inside Pakistan. The terrorists are using the border areas to fight Kabul.
And, as Zainub pointed out, what is Musharref upto these days?
Why, he attends cricket games (for full 8 hours), grabs the mike from an announcer and comments on the Indian wicket keeper's hairstyle.
Honestly, no wonder nothing gets done back in those countries. That the countries still function is a testament to the existence of Allah.
Tags: Cricket Desi
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
February 21 on MSN
It started as a simple message forwarded to me.
Please place a rose ( f ) in front of your display name, to commemorate those killed on February 21, standing up for their mother tongue. Please forward this to all Bengalis on your list.
It seemed harmless enough, so I did as the message said.
But pretty soon, my MSN looked like this:
If you are still confused, February 21 is the Language Movement Day in Bangladesh, and marked as International Mother Language Day by UNESCO, in honour of Bengali.
In the movie Bluffmaster, one of the lead character states a profound fact - that there are certain things a man is willing to die for. For every man these things are different, but he cannot imagine a life without them. On February 21, 1952, the survival of a thousand-year-old language was important enough for a few Abdus Salams, Rafiques, Barkats and Jabbars. They gave their lives so that their mother tongue could live on.
Tags: February 21 Ekushe February Bengali
Please place a rose ( f ) in front of your display name, to commemorate those killed on February 21, standing up for their mother tongue. Please forward this to all Bengalis on your list.
It seemed harmless enough, so I did as the message said.
But pretty soon, my MSN looked like this:
If you are still confused, February 21 is the Language Movement Day in Bangladesh, and marked as International Mother Language Day by UNESCO, in honour of Bengali.
In the movie Bluffmaster, one of the lead character states a profound fact - that there are certain things a man is willing to die for. For every man these things are different, but he cannot imagine a life without them. On February 21, 1952, the survival of a thousand-year-old language was important enough for a few Abdus Salams, Rafiques, Barkats and Jabbars. They gave their lives so that their mother tongue could live on.
Tags: February 21 Ekushe February Bengali
Gym Observations
A Few Observations Made While At The Gym:
Tags: Gym Toronto
- No matter the day of the week or time of the day I show up at the gym, the person to enter the change rooms after me HAS to be using the locker right next to mine. Always. It has become a wonder of nature that I now await without surprise.
- There will be one creepy guy in the sauna whenever I want to use it. I normally don't care about guys in the sauna, but when they start doing yoga there it's a little too much.
- The day I decide to drive to the gym in my work out clothes, so I don't need to waste time changing, they put the cutest receptionist on duty.
- Just because you are a South Asian and you see me as a South Asian does NOT mean I know cricket. Alright, I do know cricket, but I do not want to talk about Mohammad Kaif's lack of runs of Ganguly's ouster while on the treadmill.
- The person doing benchpress on the machine I am about to use has to be benchpressing what appears to be 2 million pounds. Removing all those weights is a work out in itself.
- Most Seinfeld-esque moment in the locker room:
Q: Hey --- why do they call it Head and Shoulders?
A: Um, maybe because there's like hair on the shoulders, and these hairs, um, have dandruff too. So it's Head and Shoulders. You know, complete dandruff protection. - My happiest moment in the gym: A few days before Eid-ul-Fitr, getting my fitness test done. My nutritionist beams at me and says, 'Wow you have lost this much of weight and so much of percentage in body fat.' Thank you Ramadan.
- My saddest moment in the gym: A few days after Eid-ul-Fitr. You spend some weight in the way of God, He returns it multiplied. What God taketh away, He giveth back.
Tags: Gym Toronto
Saturday, February 18, 2006
The McMaster BSA Show - 'Proborton'
I attended the show 'Proborton' put on by the McMaster Bangladeshi Students Association - which includes many of my friends - and was truly amazed at the quality of their performances. UofT has a very strong competition now, and the best part was that McMaster's show was free to attend, and fully sponsored. It drew a large crowd (about 200, which surprisingly was about what UofT drew last year).
There were not too many song and dance items (a personal regret) but more skits - which had really brilliant acting. The characters seemed to come alive - particularly the role of 'Rambo the gangster (bhai)', played by Rony. They introduced their band - Nikhoj - who played a couple of Bengali songs as well as the English hit 'Hotel California'. The grand finale - a stage thumping group dance by Screetch and his guys, was mind blowing. I did not realize it's possible to choreograph a break dancing routine to a slow song such as Habib's Esho Brishti (coincidentally my favourite Bengali song).
Overall, an evening well spent.
Pimp my ride.
The MCs.
The Song 'Ekta Gorur Gari-te' by Dan and Rifat.
A dance number.
A guitarist from Nikhoj.
More band action.
During the performance of Hotel California.
Rony is singing 'Adbhut Shei Cheleti' with full spirit.
Even Apple computers can crash - it's not just Windows.
The marriage skit - parents telling their son he has to marry.
The 'ghotok' in the center, telling the son (in yellow) about some girl he has never seen, while the Colonel father (left) roars his approval.
The 20-year-'old' girl who does not want to consider marriage.
Enter the Dancemaster - Screetch.
Screetch and his troupe.
There were not too many song and dance items (a personal regret) but more skits - which had really brilliant acting. The characters seemed to come alive - particularly the role of 'Rambo the gangster (bhai)', played by Rony. They introduced their band - Nikhoj - who played a couple of Bengali songs as well as the English hit 'Hotel California'. The grand finale - a stage thumping group dance by Screetch and his guys, was mind blowing. I did not realize it's possible to choreograph a break dancing routine to a slow song such as Habib's Esho Brishti (coincidentally my favourite Bengali song).
Overall, an evening well spent.
Pimp my ride.
The MCs.
The Song 'Ekta Gorur Gari-te' by Dan and Rifat.
A dance number.
A guitarist from Nikhoj.
More band action.
During the performance of Hotel California.
Rony is singing 'Adbhut Shei Cheleti' with full spirit.
Even Apple computers can crash - it's not just Windows.
The marriage skit - parents telling their son he has to marry.
The 'ghotok' in the center, telling the son (in yellow) about some girl he has never seen, while the Colonel father (left) roars his approval.
The 20-year-'old' girl who does not want to consider marriage.
Enter the Dancemaster - Screetch.
Screetch and his troupe.
Friday, February 17, 2006
Sleep On It
I have a major issue with the Prayer of the Undecided.
Before getting to that, here's an article by the BBC: Sleep on it. Apparently, a team of scientists in Holland has concluded that when you have to make a tough decision with lot of factors, like buying a car, don't sweat it, sleep on it. According to them, complex decisions can be better made when the unconscious mind is left to churn through the options.
This is the Prayer of the Undecided, or as it's known in Islam - Istikhara. You have a tough question, you say two rakats (units) of prayer before going to bed, with a special dua (prayer) - and at night in your dream you are supposed to see the answer. I used it and to me I would have to say it worked. However there is The Issue.
What if you need a decision ... like NOW?! For example, a call from my 'friend' this morning:
"Hey Mezba, I am at Woodside theatre. Ya, we are getting tickets to that Aamir Khan movie for tonight. What, you saw it already? Well, think about it. BTW there's this girl coming with us I would really like you to meet. She's your type, and you two could hit it off. Mezba? You there? You listening?"
Hmmm ...
.... it took a few minutes, but I had long decided no girl is worth watching Aamir Khan twice at Woodside where the seats are a pain in the derriere, and no stadium seating means as soon as a turbaned gentleman sits in front of me, the show's over. Besides, I hated that movie - I don't care what other people say.
So I may have missed meeting my future wife at a cinema hall. I need some Istikhara-Lite.
Speaking of tough decisions, Ontario wants to make one on your behalf - Presumed Consent on Organ Donation. Currently, Canadians choose whether to donate their organs when they die - it's an Opt-in process. Few Ontario parliamentarians want to make it an Opt-out process, so unless you have it indicated in your will or some government registry, hospitals can harvest your organs in case of death.
Links here and here.
It's a tough decision. One of our family friends in New York had two failed kidneys. Given the wait times for an organ, he went to Bangladesh, and negotiated with some poor relative of his. The relative would come to the US and be settled well into a nice job, provided he donated a kidney to this patient. It was all unofficial - this is illegal. The relative came to the USA, and then decided to abort the deal. Seven years later, the guy got a matching organ. For these seven years, he had to make trips to the hospital every 2-3 days, and was severely restricted in his physical abilities. Now, he says, he feels like a new man. He doesn't care whose kidney it was, whether it was a drunkard, a loafer, he says it's his kidney now and his responsibility. So, the MPs of Ontario will have to make some tough decisions.
Maybe they should sleep on it.
Tags: Istikhara Tough Decisions Organ Donation Presumed Consent
Before getting to that, here's an article by the BBC: Sleep on it. Apparently, a team of scientists in Holland has concluded that when you have to make a tough decision with lot of factors, like buying a car, don't sweat it, sleep on it. According to them, complex decisions can be better made when the unconscious mind is left to churn through the options.
This is the Prayer of the Undecided, or as it's known in Islam - Istikhara. You have a tough question, you say two rakats (units) of prayer before going to bed, with a special dua (prayer) - and at night in your dream you are supposed to see the answer. I used it and to me I would have to say it worked. However there is The Issue.
What if you need a decision ... like NOW?! For example, a call from my 'friend' this morning:
"Hey Mezba, I am at Woodside theatre. Ya, we are getting tickets to that Aamir Khan movie for tonight. What, you saw it already? Well, think about it. BTW there's this girl coming with us I would really like you to meet. She's your type, and you two could hit it off. Mezba? You there? You listening?"
Hmmm ...
.... it took a few minutes, but I had long decided no girl is worth watching Aamir Khan twice at Woodside where the seats are a pain in the derriere, and no stadium seating means as soon as a turbaned gentleman sits in front of me, the show's over. Besides, I hated that movie - I don't care what other people say.
So I may have missed meeting my future wife at a cinema hall. I need some Istikhara-Lite.
Speaking of tough decisions, Ontario wants to make one on your behalf - Presumed Consent on Organ Donation. Currently, Canadians choose whether to donate their organs when they die - it's an Opt-in process. Few Ontario parliamentarians want to make it an Opt-out process, so unless you have it indicated in your will or some government registry, hospitals can harvest your organs in case of death.
Links here and here.
It's a tough decision. One of our family friends in New York had two failed kidneys. Given the wait times for an organ, he went to Bangladesh, and negotiated with some poor relative of his. The relative would come to the US and be settled well into a nice job, provided he donated a kidney to this patient. It was all unofficial - this is illegal. The relative came to the USA, and then decided to abort the deal. Seven years later, the guy got a matching organ. For these seven years, he had to make trips to the hospital every 2-3 days, and was severely restricted in his physical abilities. Now, he says, he feels like a new man. He doesn't care whose kidney it was, whether it was a drunkard, a loafer, he says it's his kidney now and his responsibility. So, the MPs of Ontario will have to make some tough decisions.
Maybe they should sleep on it.
Tags: Istikhara Tough Decisions Organ Donation Presumed Consent
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
Hostage Mahr
"Thirty thousand dollars?" Jaber looked at Mr. Aslam, the father of the girl he loved, in aghast. "That's how much you want for Mahr?"
"Correction." Mr. Aslam adjusted his glasses and continued calmly. "It's what we want for Nafeesa."
"I cannot come up with that sort of money." All thoughts about romantic evenings Jaber was going to spend with his new wife seemed to evaporate instantly. "It's ridiculous!"
"No, no!" Mr. Aslam tried to reassure him. "You don't have to come up with the money. It's just - on paper - God forbid, in case you divorce - which", he quickly added, "I know is impossible to think now. But, one must always plan for the worst. As father of the bride it is my sad duty to do so."
"What if we never divorce?" Jaber was slightly happier now.
"Oh then," Mr. Aslam beamed. "You never have to pay that money!"
* * *
This is, I find, a particular scenario played across the South Asian Muslim community. I call this the Hostage Mahr situation.
After your parents (or relatives) have managed to find someone that is suitable for you (instead of the usual candidates that you can mentally picture on a desi Jerry Springer show), after you have talked to her and discovered that while she prays she also listens to music, after you find that both of you have a few shared interests, and while she cooks she also likes Cantonese Chow Mein, and both are excited at the prospect of a honeymoon in Europe, it's still not over. We have the Mahr to deal with.
Briefly speaking, Mahr is a gift given to the bride by the groom, mandated in Islam as a binding part of the marriage contract. The fairly recent concept of a 'pre-nup', as it's known here in the West, is old story to Muslims. Almost every Muslim marriage has a pre-nup, also known as the 'nikah-naama'. In various places in the Quran (4:4, 4:21, 4:24, 2:237), Allah talks of the Mahr as a faridah - fixed, decided, obligatory. Allah also describes the Mahr as a token of friendship, as a gift - something the husband gives out of love to his wife which becomes completely hers, even if the marriage fails.
Yet Mr. Aslam (a fictional name here) thinks if he arranges a huge deferred Mahr for Nafeesa, Jaber will never divorce her as immediately he would have to come up with that huge amount of money. If any Muslim girl is planning to hold her husband to a similar hostage Mahr, let me blow this theory apart completely.
Payment of Mahr is a condition of the marriage. If a husband refuses to pay the Mahr, the wife can ask him for a divorce. If they are already breaking up, why would the husband care?
Mahr is a gift paid due to the act of marriage. The husband can argue this money ($30K in our example) is a condition of divorce, not Mahr. So he owes no Mahr to her. Since the pre-nup describes it as Mahr, the pre-nup is legally null and void (you will need a good lawyer).
When the couple buys a car (which they eventually will have to), he can register the car (usually worth close to $30K) in her name ONLY. As long as he is responsible for the car payments (usually in our community the husband is), as soon as the car is paid off the hostage situation is removed (the brilliant desi male mind at work here). If he divorces her, he will lose the car, but what the heck.
Now, my whole point of this post was to bring to light this un-Islamic practice masquerading as Islam. Islam does not specify a fixed amount for Mahr as conditions vary from place to place, era to era, and status in society of the bride and groom. Ladies should stipulate what they want for Mahr, and be practical about it. It should be small enough so that she gets it immediately from her husband (or soon after marriage), it does not place an undue burden on her husband. It should also be large enough so that, if need be, she can be on her own for atleast a couple of months. It should be paid to her, and not to her father.
After all, if things have come to the point where a couple is considering divorce, Mr. Aslam's style of Mahr, unenforceable in Ontario, is unlikely to deter the husband, and provides zero security to the wife should her husband suddenly leave her or stop supporting her.
Related Link: http://www.islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah07.htm
Tags: Desi Mahr
"Correction." Mr. Aslam adjusted his glasses and continued calmly. "It's what we want for Nafeesa."
"I cannot come up with that sort of money." All thoughts about romantic evenings Jaber was going to spend with his new wife seemed to evaporate instantly. "It's ridiculous!"
"No, no!" Mr. Aslam tried to reassure him. "You don't have to come up with the money. It's just - on paper - God forbid, in case you divorce - which", he quickly added, "I know is impossible to think now. But, one must always plan for the worst. As father of the bride it is my sad duty to do so."
"What if we never divorce?" Jaber was slightly happier now.
"Oh then," Mr. Aslam beamed. "You never have to pay that money!"
* * *
This is, I find, a particular scenario played across the South Asian Muslim community. I call this the Hostage Mahr situation.
After your parents (or relatives) have managed to find someone that is suitable for you (instead of the usual candidates that you can mentally picture on a desi Jerry Springer show), after you have talked to her and discovered that while she prays she also listens to music, after you find that both of you have a few shared interests, and while she cooks she also likes Cantonese Chow Mein, and both are excited at the prospect of a honeymoon in Europe, it's still not over. We have the Mahr to deal with.
Briefly speaking, Mahr is a gift given to the bride by the groom, mandated in Islam as a binding part of the marriage contract. The fairly recent concept of a 'pre-nup', as it's known here in the West, is old story to Muslims. Almost every Muslim marriage has a pre-nup, also known as the 'nikah-naama'. In various places in the Quran (4:4, 4:21, 4:24, 2:237), Allah talks of the Mahr as a faridah - fixed, decided, obligatory. Allah also describes the Mahr as a token of friendship, as a gift - something the husband gives out of love to his wife which becomes completely hers, even if the marriage fails.
Yet Mr. Aslam (a fictional name here) thinks if he arranges a huge deferred Mahr for Nafeesa, Jaber will never divorce her as immediately he would have to come up with that huge amount of money. If any Muslim girl is planning to hold her husband to a similar hostage Mahr, let me blow this theory apart completely.
Now, my whole point of this post was to bring to light this un-Islamic practice masquerading as Islam. Islam does not specify a fixed amount for Mahr as conditions vary from place to place, era to era, and status in society of the bride and groom. Ladies should stipulate what they want for Mahr, and be practical about it. It should be small enough so that she gets it immediately from her husband (or soon after marriage), it does not place an undue burden on her husband. It should also be large enough so that, if need be, she can be on her own for atleast a couple of months. It should be paid to her, and not to her father.
After all, if things have come to the point where a couple is considering divorce, Mr. Aslam's style of Mahr, unenforceable in Ontario, is unlikely to deter the husband, and provides zero security to the wife should her husband suddenly leave her or stop supporting her.
Related Link: http://www.islamfortoday.com/ruqaiyyah07.htm
Tags: Desi Mahr
Monday, February 13, 2006
At The Maternity Ward
The wife of one of my bhaiyya friends (friends who are older than me but still good friends) gave birth to their third kid on Friday, and come Saturday morning I dutifully paid a visit to the hospital. When I arrived, she was feeding the baby, so I waited outside the room, and my friend joined me. We sat on a bench discussing the India-Pakistan series when another man, who looked to be around 40 or so, joined us. Upon hearing the cricket talk, he turned to us and asked us the latest scores. We obliged, and then engaged in a polite conversation with him. Turns out, he is from Jamaica, and has been in Canada for 20 years or so.
He turned his head back towards the room and nodded at my friend, and asked in that enthralling Jamaican accent, "That your woman?"
My friend chuckled and replied, "Yah, that's my woman."
(It's a good thing bhabi wasn't there - don't think she would have taken too kindly to her husband referring to her as 'his woman').
"First kid?" Our West Indian acquaintance asked.
"Oh no, third!" My friend answered proudly.
"Third?!" A look of horror crossed the man's face. He paused, and then asked, "And ALL with the same woman?"
There was an awkward pause.
"Um," My friend was momentarily puzzled at his surprise before replying, "Yes. All with the same woman."
"Oh." The man from Jamaica gave my friend a look that just seemed to say 'oh-what-a-loser'. Then he continued, "My woman is having my kid. It's her first and my second. I have another, with some other woman. She's back in Kingston. Man, at this age you should be enjoying life, man. Third kid. Back in my place, we never have two kids with the same woman." He got up and excused himself, still shaking his head.
It took a moment before we burst out laughing. If you could take every stereotype of a Jamaican, and place them into one man, this man would be it. Which makes me wonder as how true all that stuff really is. I know some Jamaican Muslims, and if they live anything like Muslims, then everything they believe must run contrary to their culture!
Then again, we are allowed four wives.
Tags: Jamaica Family Mother
He turned his head back towards the room and nodded at my friend, and asked in that enthralling Jamaican accent, "That your woman?"
My friend chuckled and replied, "Yah, that's my woman."
(It's a good thing bhabi wasn't there - don't think she would have taken too kindly to her husband referring to her as 'his woman').
"First kid?" Our West Indian acquaintance asked.
"Oh no, third!" My friend answered proudly.
"Third?!" A look of horror crossed the man's face. He paused, and then asked, "And ALL with the same woman?"
There was an awkward pause.
"Um," My friend was momentarily puzzled at his surprise before replying, "Yes. All with the same woman."
"Oh." The man from Jamaica gave my friend a look that just seemed to say 'oh-what-a-loser'. Then he continued, "My woman is having my kid. It's her first and my second. I have another, with some other woman. She's back in Kingston. Man, at this age you should be enjoying life, man. Third kid. Back in my place, we never have two kids with the same woman." He got up and excused himself, still shaking his head.
It took a moment before we burst out laughing. If you could take every stereotype of a Jamaican, and place them into one man, this man would be it. Which makes me wonder as how true all that stuff really is. I know some Jamaican Muslims, and if they live anything like Muslims, then everything they believe must run contrary to their culture!
Then again, we are allowed four wives.
Tags: Jamaica Family Mother
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Parity for Women
After a couple of hours of intense badminton, I was in the men's locker room along with a few friends, getting ready to hit the showers when this woman, a lady who looked around 24-ish, entered. All the guys momentarily froze as the woman, who appeared to be lost in her own thoughts, continued walking. Then she suddenly stopped, looked up, and then after a pause, murmured sheephishly, "I am in the wrong locker room, ain't I?"
One jock sauntered over and replied, "Depends on whose point of view."
She laughed nervously before backtracking and exiting the room. I have never seen a woman walk in a reverse direction so fast before. Afterwards we were laughing and joking about it.
Women can do, and get away with doing, certain things. If a guy had entered the women's locker room "in error", he could be spending the night in jail.
Few of my friends are completing teacher's training courses to be able to teach in Ontario's schools. As part of their training, many of them had to spend hours 'on the job', as substitute teachers or assistant teachers. One of the things they tell me is that many male teachers are shy of taking playground duties where young kids are involved. If a young girl falls down and hurts herself, they don't want to be in a situation where they would have to help her up (and if she is injured help in first aid) and later be accused of improper contact. Some overzealous parents have at times accused many a teacher of such an act when all he may have been doing was give the student a hug (actions that a female teacher can do to her young wards without nary a thought). One cannot blame the parents, with incidents of perverts taking up teaching to be around young kids getting huge media attention in recent times, they err on the side of caution.
When talking about parity between genders, after achieving suffrage, fighting job discrimination, obtaining maternity leave, it seems Canadian women have always had one complaint. Toilets. Yes, it appears some washrooms (particularly men's) are more equal than others.
Stall tactic brings potty parity for women
Canada has always headed the progressive moment, and it appears there is a 2-for-1 rule here - which implies for every 1 stall for men, there has to be 2 stalls for women. Potty parity has arrived and it's sweeping the nation. From Toronto to Fredericton, equal access to washrooms in public buildings is being legislated, and where it's not being legislated, a new generation of builders and architects is recommending their clients build it in. All because, apparently, women take longer to go (75 seconds to 41 seconds).
And how did women protest the so-called 'inequality of washrooms' so far? Why, they went to the men's ofcourse.
Which brings me back to my first story. Maybe our gym should soon be looking to enlargen the women's locker rooms soon.
Tags: Women Washroom
One jock sauntered over and replied, "Depends on whose point of view."
She laughed nervously before backtracking and exiting the room. I have never seen a woman walk in a reverse direction so fast before. Afterwards we were laughing and joking about it.
Women can do, and get away with doing, certain things. If a guy had entered the women's locker room "in error", he could be spending the night in jail.
Few of my friends are completing teacher's training courses to be able to teach in Ontario's schools. As part of their training, many of them had to spend hours 'on the job', as substitute teachers or assistant teachers. One of the things they tell me is that many male teachers are shy of taking playground duties where young kids are involved. If a young girl falls down and hurts herself, they don't want to be in a situation where they would have to help her up (and if she is injured help in first aid) and later be accused of improper contact. Some overzealous parents have at times accused many a teacher of such an act when all he may have been doing was give the student a hug (actions that a female teacher can do to her young wards without nary a thought). One cannot blame the parents, with incidents of perverts taking up teaching to be around young kids getting huge media attention in recent times, they err on the side of caution.
When talking about parity between genders, after achieving suffrage, fighting job discrimination, obtaining maternity leave, it seems Canadian women have always had one complaint. Toilets. Yes, it appears some washrooms (particularly men's) are more equal than others.
Stall tactic brings potty parity for women
Canada has always headed the progressive moment, and it appears there is a 2-for-1 rule here - which implies for every 1 stall for men, there has to be 2 stalls for women. Potty parity has arrived and it's sweeping the nation. From Toronto to Fredericton, equal access to washrooms in public buildings is being legislated, and where it's not being legislated, a new generation of builders and architects is recommending their clients build it in. All because, apparently, women take longer to go (75 seconds to 41 seconds).
And how did women protest the so-called 'inequality of washrooms' so far? Why, they went to the men's ofcourse.
Which brings me back to my first story. Maybe our gym should soon be looking to enlargen the women's locker rooms soon.
Tags: Women Washroom
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Yet Another Use For The Car
It recently snowed in Toronto. Given that it's Canada and the middle of winter, this should not be news, but it was. I was at a friend's place, borrowing a few DVDs. Around 10 pm, as I was leaving, I noticed his car was still on his driveway.
"Aren't you going to put your car in the garage?" I asked him, "They say a car overnight in the garage is atleast 5 degrees warmer than a car left outside on the driveway, and in the long run it's better for the engine."
My friend stepped out and peered into the sky.
"Usually I do it," he replied, "but tonight I won't. You see, according to the Weather Channel, it's going to snow tonight."
"Oh?"
"And if I leave the car out on the driveway, the snow will hit the car instead of my driveway. So, in the morning, I won't have to shovel the driveway. It will already be shovelled."
Ah. Yet another labour saving feature of the imported car.
Tags: Toronto Desi Winter
"Aren't you going to put your car in the garage?" I asked him, "They say a car overnight in the garage is atleast 5 degrees warmer than a car left outside on the driveway, and in the long run it's better for the engine."
My friend stepped out and peered into the sky.
"Usually I do it," he replied, "but tonight I won't. You see, according to the Weather Channel, it's going to snow tonight."
"Oh?"
"And if I leave the car out on the driveway, the snow will hit the car instead of my driveway. So, in the morning, I won't have to shovel the driveway. It will already be shovelled."
Ah. Yet another labour saving feature of the imported car.
Tags: Toronto Desi Winter
Monday, February 06, 2006
The Quartet Meme
I have been tagged by Aisha. At first, I was amused by the tagging amongst bloggers. It would be that I would be one of the last to be tagged. It brought back memories of picking the team while in grade 6. My school was full of football (soccer) nuts, while I was a cricket guy, so I was evidently one of the last ones to be picked for the team. Every year, the PE teacher would tower over us, choose his two favourites, and they would pick their friends, then the good players, and finally us. The team for the year. It was a lesson in nepotism. The good thing about the football team was that no one wanted to be goalie. So I would choose that option, lazing around near the goalposts, while berating the defenders (the goal was always their fault). The happy ending: It was grade 6 finals (between team A and B). It went to the tie-breaking penalty kicks. Our team scored. Then it was the turn of their forward, Fadel. I remember the guy. Even in grade 6 the Egyptian was six feet tall. As soon as he kicked I instinctively ducked and put my hands to my face to protect myself. To the outside world, it appeared that I had cleverly dropped low and punched the ball away. We won, and I was never the last person to be picked again.
So now I have been tagged. Here goes.
Four Jobs I've Had in My Life
Chef (hey - just because it's the campus cafe doesn't mean any less!)
Editor, the UTSC college newspaper. Oh, it was a thrilling time, with the scandals of student politics and writing editorials about the faulty vending machines. Grrrr. I got to interview Jean Chretien's Chief of Staff!
Teaching Assistant - an excellent job. This would be my chief motivation for doing Ph.D - to teach! And I got tons of funny stories of discovering plagiarism - for another day perhaps.
Web Developer.
Four Places I'’ve Lived define 'live'
Dhaka, Bangladesh.
Abu Dhabi, UAE.
Ottawa, Canada.
Toronto, Canada.
Four TV Shows I Love To Watch only four?
The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.
The Simpsons.
The National, CBC.
Royal Canadian Air Farce, CBC.
Four Places I Have Been On Vacation Does Saudi count as 'vacation'?
England.
Thailand.
USA.
Bahrain.
Four Authors I Read
Dan Brown
John Grisham.
Issac Assimov.
Agatha Christie.
Four Animals I Find Fascinating
Peacock (beauty and vanity).
Dolphins (intelligence).
Cichlids (my super-territorial aquarium fishes).
Bees (the whole colony thing).
Now for the tags. I am supposed to tag some other bloggers. However, like the football team, most others I know have already beenpickedtagged. Others don't blog frequently or don't like the tagging game. So, perhaps, Isheeta, Arnab, maybe you can pick up the slack? Change the questions around if they are too personal. And oh Rashed, yes I can see your IP so I know you are reading this, Tag! Update either one of your blogs dude.
Tags: The Quartet Meme
So now I have been tagged. Here goes.
Four Jobs I've Had in My Life
Four Places I'’ve Lived define 'live'
Four TV Shows I Love To Watch only four?
Four Places I Have Been On Vacation Does Saudi count as 'vacation'?
Four Authors I Read
Four Animals I Find Fascinating
Now for the tags. I am supposed to tag some other bloggers. However, like the football team, most others I know have already been
Tags: The Quartet Meme
Sunday, February 05, 2006
A Few Pictures
Ski trip to Mt St Louis and Moonstone
With the recent warm weather, we were glad there was snow on the mountain!
The crew @ Mt St Louis and Moonstone. Remind me not to stand next to 6'3 Mo next time!
Dancer at the EBSA Formal
At S's anniversary party
Mugging for a picture
Bowling At Kipling
Hail to Vulcan
Tags: Toronto
Saturday, February 04, 2006
Some Protesters Are Crazy
I wanted to blog on some interesting events over the weekend, but the news seems so depressing. Having condemned the cartoons and their publications, it is only right that we now condemn some of the 'protests' that are taking place.
Let's go to England first. Inside a warehouse where some fellows in Taliban gear are debating their placards.
"I so vote for Death to the Infidels," says guy 1. "It's short, sweet and to the point."
"Let's see, how do we prove to these people who say Islam is a violent religion?" Asks guy 2, "Why, we can threaten to cut their heads off, ofcourse. That will show we are not violent."
"OK," the leader appears. "I just talked with the London police. They said we can go ahead with our 'Kill Every British' protest march."
Umm, ok, just a small question, o fearless leader. What did the British say about the cartoon controversy? The BBC? Aren't you British? Isn't your placards offensive as well? And finally, why can't you join the other thousands of British Muslims who protested the racism with dignity, honour, and peace? And to the London police - how in heaven's name can you allow this protest to occur? Great kudos to the young British Muslim man who appeared on the BBC, denouncing them and saying these protestors are part of the problem too, and other such people.
I would put these protesters and BNP leader Griffin in the same cell. Problem solved.
Next, we move on to Pakistan/Bangladesh. The company Flags To Burn is doing terrific business with their new promotion - 'Buy One, Burn One, Get One Free'. There must be one such company. How then to explain the huge amount of Danish flags to be found suddenly in the main town square? I live in the opulent West, and if I wanted a flag to burn, first I would have to hunt through the yellow pages to find out a store that sells flags, then drive there, buy the flag (and pay value added tax on top), go to a town square and then douse the flag with petrol (which I bought and also paid value added tax on top) before asking someone for a lighter (I don't smoke). Too much trouble - also probably against a dozen fire codes. And some laws, I guess. Better blog about it and go on watching Friends reruns.
See my point - where does the ordinary Liaqat Khan / Jabbar Quddus on the streets of Pakistan/Bangladesh get their Danish flags?
Moving on to Syria and the Middle East, yes, I know you guys have oil, but can we pleaeeeeeese not pour such oil on embassies of foreign countries and set them alight? Morons. If there is no embassy left where will you fax your latest death threats to? International faxing is expensive BTW. Why don't you join the peaceful boycotters of the Middle East? I am pretty sure you don't drink French wine or Danish cheese which may contain rennet anyways.
Let's not make a mount Everest out of a ski resort hill. A newspaper published the cartoons (which apologized BTW). Write a letter to that newspaper and boycott their sponsors. Ministers of some countries (such as France's Interior Minister) actively praised the publications. Fine, boycott the French (cheese eating surrender monkeys who eats frogs' legs anyways, to quote Homer). You are worried about xenophobic tendencies in Europe? Run for elections then. I heard there's huge areas with huge populations of immigrants. I am pretty sure you will get votes. They say elections have a sobering effect on hardliners. Apparently, Hamas stopped promoting suicide bombers. Every vote counts, you know.
This is one of the main reasons I did not like the movie Rang De Basanti. There is a problem with the system, and there are proper ways to try and fix the problem. The youth in Rang De Basanti chose the course of violence and to take the law into their own hands. That only creates new problems, as we are seeing here. What part of Letter to the Editor don't you understand?
It is worth noting here that most Muslims were offended at the cartoons, but they are showing the anger in a proper way. Telling other people about why they were offended. Not buying goods from countries they disagree with. Peaceful protests. Letters to newspapers. Blogs. Not burning stuff or issuing death threats or kidnapping people.
I am scared.
Tags: Islam Muhammad (S) Cartoons Denmark
Let's go to England first. Inside a warehouse where some fellows in Taliban gear are debating their placards.
"I so vote for Death to the Infidels," says guy 1. "It's short, sweet and to the point."
"Let's see, how do we prove to these people who say Islam is a violent religion?" Asks guy 2, "Why, we can threaten to cut their heads off, ofcourse. That will show we are not violent."
"OK," the leader appears. "I just talked with the London police. They said we can go ahead with our 'Kill Every British' protest march."
Umm, ok, just a small question, o fearless leader. What did the British say about the cartoon controversy? The BBC? Aren't you British? Isn't your placards offensive as well? And finally, why can't you join the other thousands of British Muslims who protested the racism with dignity, honour, and peace? And to the London police - how in heaven's name can you allow this protest to occur? Great kudos to the young British Muslim man who appeared on the BBC, denouncing them and saying these protestors are part of the problem too, and other such people.
I would put these protesters and BNP leader Griffin in the same cell. Problem solved.
Next, we move on to Pakistan/Bangladesh. The company Flags To Burn is doing terrific business with their new promotion - 'Buy One, Burn One, Get One Free'. There must be one such company. How then to explain the huge amount of Danish flags to be found suddenly in the main town square? I live in the opulent West, and if I wanted a flag to burn, first I would have to hunt through the yellow pages to find out a store that sells flags, then drive there, buy the flag (and pay value added tax on top), go to a town square and then douse the flag with petrol (which I bought and also paid value added tax on top) before asking someone for a lighter (I don't smoke). Too much trouble - also probably against a dozen fire codes. And some laws, I guess. Better blog about it and go on watching Friends reruns.
See my point - where does the ordinary Liaqat Khan / Jabbar Quddus on the streets of Pakistan/Bangladesh get their Danish flags?
Moving on to Syria and the Middle East, yes, I know you guys have oil, but can we pleaeeeeeese not pour such oil on embassies of foreign countries and set them alight? Morons. If there is no embassy left where will you fax your latest death threats to? International faxing is expensive BTW. Why don't you join the peaceful boycotters of the Middle East? I am pretty sure you don't drink French wine or Danish cheese which may contain rennet anyways.
Let's not make a mount Everest out of a ski resort hill. A newspaper published the cartoons (which apologized BTW). Write a letter to that newspaper and boycott their sponsors. Ministers of some countries (such as France's Interior Minister) actively praised the publications. Fine, boycott the French (cheese eating surrender monkeys who eats frogs' legs anyways, to quote Homer). You are worried about xenophobic tendencies in Europe? Run for elections then. I heard there's huge areas with huge populations of immigrants. I am pretty sure you will get votes. They say elections have a sobering effect on hardliners. Apparently, Hamas stopped promoting suicide bombers. Every vote counts, you know.
This is one of the main reasons I did not like the movie Rang De Basanti. There is a problem with the system, and there are proper ways to try and fix the problem. The youth in Rang De Basanti chose the course of violence and to take the law into their own hands. That only creates new problems, as we are seeing here. What part of Letter to the Editor don't you understand?
It is worth noting here that most Muslims were offended at the cartoons, but they are showing the anger in a proper way. Telling other people about why they were offended. Not buying goods from countries they disagree with. Peaceful protests. Letters to newspapers. Blogs. Not burning stuff or issuing death threats or kidnapping people.
I am scared.
Tags: Islam Muhammad (S) Cartoons Denmark
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
Cartoon Controversy
It's ironic that the media in Europe that heaped scorn on Prince Harry for wearing a Nazi uniform to a fancy dress party and demanded he apologize for the offence caused now prints cartoons making fun of Prophet Muhammad, in the name of defending freedom of expression. Apparently, this freedom of expression is only useful when making fun of Muslims. In a supreme piece of hypocrisy, Die Welt, a German paper that published the cartoons, wrote in its editorial, "The protests from Muslims would be taken more seriously if they were less hypocritical." [BBC]
Bill Clinton, in a speech recently stated that Muslims are now the new Jews, and deplored the replacing of anti-Semitic prejudice with anti-Islamic prejudice.
It was a surprise to see a boycott effort in the Middle East that actually worked [BBC]. Let's face it, if the Danish newspaper had the right to publish the papers, the Middle Easterners were free to boycott Danish products - whether it was right to do so is another matter - some Muslims disagree [Safiyyah's blog]. The loss of business forced these companies to complain to the government, which complained to the newspaper, which apologized. The boycott worked.
But what now that other countries of Europe has published the cartoons?
I believe this is a fantastic opportunity for the Arab world. Cancel the boycott. Announce that any European visiting an Arab country will get a free tourist visa, and can live with an Arab family. Start with the Danes. The Arabs are famous for their hospitality, and many locals will line up to have an European family stay with them. Dubai and other places are already hot tourist spots, this will be a perfect chance for people to people contact, for Europeans to see that Arabs and Muslims are not so different or scary after all.
UPDATE: My respect for the BBC has continued to grow. They did show some of the cartoons, but in the context of a news story, and shaded. The cartoons were not published to provoke Muslims or to make a point. They also hosted an interview with Dr James Zogby of the Arab American Institute in US. The questions asked by the news anchor were tough but fair and balanced, and they gave equal play to all sides in the dispute. This is journalism at its best, not sensational, tabloid journalism we have become used to from other sources.
UPDATE:
The Danish ambassador to Indonesia agreed to publish an apology in the local media.
Iraq's top Shia Muslim cleric Ayatollah Ali Sistani condemned the publication, but said militant Islamists were partly to blame for distorting the image of Islam.
Editors of Jordanian and French newspapers who chose to republish the cartoons were dismissed.
Jyllands-Posten has apologised for causing offence to Muslims.
UPDATE: Vatican cardinal Achille Silvestrini condemned the cartoons, saying Western culture had to know its limits. Maybe I have to tone down my criticism of this Pope now.
UPDATE:
The khatib at our Jummah place said Muslims should demonstrate their love of the Prophet Muhammad by not burning flags but rather following his examples - of generosity, of tolerance, of good behaviour.
Tags: Islam Muhammad (S) Cartoons Denmark
Bill Clinton, in a speech recently stated that Muslims are now the new Jews, and deplored the replacing of anti-Semitic prejudice with anti-Islamic prejudice.
It was a surprise to see a boycott effort in the Middle East that actually worked [BBC]. Let's face it, if the Danish newspaper had the right to publish the papers, the Middle Easterners were free to boycott Danish products - whether it was right to do so is another matter - some Muslims disagree [Safiyyah's blog]. The loss of business forced these companies to complain to the government, which complained to the newspaper, which apologized. The boycott worked.
But what now that other countries of Europe has published the cartoons?
I believe this is a fantastic opportunity for the Arab world. Cancel the boycott. Announce that any European visiting an Arab country will get a free tourist visa, and can live with an Arab family. Start with the Danes. The Arabs are famous for their hospitality, and many locals will line up to have an European family stay with them. Dubai and other places are already hot tourist spots, this will be a perfect chance for people to people contact, for Europeans to see that Arabs and Muslims are not so different or scary after all.
UPDATE: My respect for the BBC has continued to grow. They did show some of the cartoons, but in the context of a news story, and shaded. The cartoons were not published to provoke Muslims or to make a point. They also hosted an interview with Dr James Zogby of the Arab American Institute in US. The questions asked by the news anchor were tough but fair and balanced, and they gave equal play to all sides in the dispute. This is journalism at its best, not sensational, tabloid journalism we have become used to from other sources.
UPDATE:
UPDATE:
UPDATE:
The khatib at our Jummah place said Muslims should demonstrate their love of the Prophet Muhammad by not burning flags but rather following his examples - of generosity, of tolerance, of good behaviour.
Tags: Islam Muhammad (S) Cartoons Denmark
We Will Be Fine
Sometimes me thinks the older folk doth protest too much.
Last Friday I had the opportunity to attend a Bengali bash. It was a formal thrown by a few of my friends at a banquet hall, attended by the 20-26 crowd. The DJ was Bengali, the songs he played were Bengali, and the comedy skit done by R was about Bengalis. Yes, there was a belly dancer, but she was Bengali as well.
Sure the songs, even though some of them were classical Bengali songs like 'Loke Boley' or 'Shaadher Lau' were not exactly what our parents would listen to - they were remixed (thank you Habib). After all, you need some beats to shake your, um, whatevers. Some Nazrul folk singer going 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah' is not going to do it.
And sure, sometimes the DJs do get some songs mixed up. There is an old song where a guy talks about his love for his bride - his country. Once at a party the DJ thought the song was literally a guy pining for his girl, and it was funny (for those in the know!) to see the crowd dancing to that song!
The main thing was, we didn't import English songs, neither Hindi (though we wanted to - they are just so maast!) nor Punjabi but we stuck to Bengali. A bunch of kids, growing up in Canada where their parents hardly had time to teach them the finer points of Bengali culture (don't put your feet up in direction of your father, do not smoke in front of elders(!), and so on), organized a party where everything was from our culture. Sure, drums may have replaced the dhol, but that's called evolving. Adapting.
And if you think such bashes are against our culture, um, go to Dubai/Dhaka/Calcutta/Mumbai/Karachi (take your pick).
Around new year I attended a party where the host had asked some classical singer (a gentleman in a white shawl) to sing. He brought along his sitar too. As soon as he began, all of us younger folk started to find excuses to sneak out, leading one 'uncle' - the self-proclaimed protector of Bangladesh culture - to deride 'our heritage being lost'. I am sorry, but I can't sit in one room listening to a song where the main character of the song is describing the night he spent crying after he couldn't pluck up the courage to propose to his beloved. Loser songs. At least Tagore has some pizzaz.
Ami Shob Kotha Bolilam, Baki Roy Gelo Shudhu Bolito
("I have said everything, the only thing left is to say it" - I kid you not, this was the translation).
My point is - as long as you bring us up properly - teach us the finer points of our glorious culture - we will be fine. Trust me. We will just adapt a little to our surroundings. That's natural. It's called progress.
Tags: Bengali Culture Desi
Last Friday I had the opportunity to attend a Bengali bash. It was a formal thrown by a few of my friends at a banquet hall, attended by the 20-26 crowd. The DJ was Bengali, the songs he played were Bengali, and the comedy skit done by R was about Bengalis. Yes, there was a belly dancer, but she was Bengali as well.
Sure the songs, even though some of them were classical Bengali songs like 'Loke Boley' or 'Shaadher Lau' were not exactly what our parents would listen to - they were remixed (thank you Habib). After all, you need some beats to shake your, um, whatevers. Some Nazrul folk singer going 'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah' is not going to do it.
And sure, sometimes the DJs do get some songs mixed up. There is an old song where a guy talks about his love for his bride - his country. Once at a party the DJ thought the song was literally a guy pining for his girl, and it was funny (for those in the know!) to see the crowd dancing to that song!
The main thing was, we didn't import English songs, neither Hindi (though we wanted to - they are just so maast!) nor Punjabi but we stuck to Bengali. A bunch of kids, growing up in Canada where their parents hardly had time to teach them the finer points of Bengali culture (don't put your feet up in direction of your father, do not smoke in front of elders(!), and so on), organized a party where everything was from our culture. Sure, drums may have replaced the dhol, but that's called evolving. Adapting.
And if you think such bashes are against our culture, um, go to Dubai/Dhaka/Calcutta/Mumbai/Karachi (take your pick).
Around new year I attended a party where the host had asked some classical singer (a gentleman in a white shawl) to sing. He brought along his sitar too. As soon as he began, all of us younger folk started to find excuses to sneak out, leading one 'uncle' - the self-proclaimed protector of Bangladesh culture - to deride 'our heritage being lost'. I am sorry, but I can't sit in one room listening to a song where the main character of the song is describing the night he spent crying after he couldn't pluck up the courage to propose to his beloved. Loser songs. At least Tagore has some pizzaz.
Ami Shob Kotha Bolilam, Baki Roy Gelo Shudhu Bolito
("I have said everything, the only thing left is to say it" - I kid you not, this was the translation).
My point is - as long as you bring us up properly - teach us the finer points of our glorious culture - we will be fine. Trust me. We will just adapt a little to our surroundings. That's natural. It's called progress.
Tags: Bengali Culture Desi
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Outsourcing Our Ideas
My chair at work is an old one, and when a colleague's chair completely fell apart, we decided to get new chairs for work. The contractor who supplies office furniture to our place was contacted, and he came down to our place with a brochure and some samples.
The brochure itself was interesting, using terms like 'fully loaded', 'complete bells and whistle', and 'base model', given that it was describing chairs. These terms are more suited to describing cars rather than chairs.
He also brought a few samples. His recommended chair was by Zoom Seating, their award winning, patented design, exclusive chair called 'Champion Mesh'. As soon as I saw the chair, a single thought rushed to the forefront of my mind.
What a copy of a desi/Bangladeshi idea!
Let me state the official description of the chair.
Designer Sava Cvek fused science with art to create Champion, a highly ergonomic chair that distills form to its functional essence. The patented hyperbolic mesh surface of the backrest conforms to different body types and changing work postures. The equally innovative back shell creates flex zones that ensure constant support for the entire back.
Zoom chair (front - note the mesh)
Zoom chair (side)
It is clear the 'mesh', or the netted back of the chair, is what has won it many awards (didn't know there are people whose job it was to test drive fully loaded chairs). Now I am not saying Sava Cvek copied it directly from Bangladesh. That would be libel and he probably has been inspired on his own. But the idea was present for centuries in Bangladesh.
'Beter'' chair, or chairs made out of cane, and/or jute, are very common in Bangladesh. They are made by thin fibres of cane or jute, woven intermittently in patterns to create a mesh that forms the seat or back of the chairs. They are extremely comfortable. What the Champion Mesh is, is a sophisticated, adjustable, urban, redesigned (non-jute) and a cooler version of the old cane/jute chair.
That makes me wonder, what other ideas are there in the old country that can be exploited? Next time I am in Bangladesh, I am going to keep an eye out for such business opportunities. An American had tried to (unsuccessfully) patent biryani sometime ago. Maybe I can copy the tube-well (call it a new do-it-yourself self-sustaining water purifier). Ideas are welcome.
A cane chair (note the flexible mesh design).
Jute Chair
Tags: Office Chair Jute Bangladesh
The brochure itself was interesting, using terms like 'fully loaded', 'complete bells and whistle', and 'base model', given that it was describing chairs. These terms are more suited to describing cars rather than chairs.
He also brought a few samples. His recommended chair was by Zoom Seating, their award winning, patented design, exclusive chair called 'Champion Mesh'. As soon as I saw the chair, a single thought rushed to the forefront of my mind.
What a copy of a desi/Bangladeshi idea!
Let me state the official description of the chair.
Designer Sava Cvek fused science with art to create Champion, a highly ergonomic chair that distills form to its functional essence. The patented hyperbolic mesh surface of the backrest conforms to different body types and changing work postures. The equally innovative back shell creates flex zones that ensure constant support for the entire back.
Zoom chair (front - note the mesh)
Zoom chair (side)
It is clear the 'mesh', or the netted back of the chair, is what has won it many awards (didn't know there are people whose job it was to test drive fully loaded chairs). Now I am not saying Sava Cvek copied it directly from Bangladesh. That would be libel and he probably has been inspired on his own. But the idea was present for centuries in Bangladesh.
'Beter'' chair, or chairs made out of cane, and/or jute, are very common in Bangladesh. They are made by thin fibres of cane or jute, woven intermittently in patterns to create a mesh that forms the seat or back of the chairs. They are extremely comfortable. What the Champion Mesh is, is a sophisticated, adjustable, urban, redesigned (non-jute) and a cooler version of the old cane/jute chair.
That makes me wonder, what other ideas are there in the old country that can be exploited? Next time I am in Bangladesh, I am going to keep an eye out for such business opportunities. An American had tried to (unsuccessfully) patent biryani sometime ago. Maybe I can copy the tube-well (call it a new do-it-yourself self-sustaining water purifier). Ideas are welcome.
A cane chair (note the flexible mesh design).
Jute Chair
Tags: Office Chair Jute Bangladesh
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Rang De Basanti And Others
I watched three movies so far this weekend. Also went skiing.
Rang De Basanti - The regular Bengali clique decided to skip this movie, so I went ahead with some Indian friends. I thought it was a waste of $9, they loved the movie. The first half was very good, lot of colour, music, laughter and fun,, while the second half was grim, dark and thought-provoking. The ride back from the cinema was quiet too, each absorbed in their own thoughts, except when we recounted the tale of the Sardar seated in one row ahead of us. The mom poked her kid and asked loudly, "Oy! Are you sleeping?" Fully ONE MINUTE later the kid stirs and replies, "No mom, I'm not."
Rang De Basanti (don't worry, no spoilers) deals with a group of young Indians and their cynical attitude towards the ideals of Indian freedom fighters. They are disillusioned with corruption, and one of them has active plans to move out of the country as soon as he is done his undergraduate studies. However, when corruption hits home, they become motivated to stand up to the system.
Yawn.
This is where my Indian friends and I diverged in our opinions. I totally hated the way they chose to stand up to the system. Tell me, have they not heard of a BLOG? All you need to do to expose a corrupt story is to blog it, with proof, then email the link to desipundit. Remember the IIPM case and how Indian bloggers rallied against it? The movie also leaves you with a feeling of helplessness. Do you want to risk your life and change a corrupt system, or will you look out for yourselves and move out of the country, as countless others have done? No country is perfect, but it seems the corruption is deeply rooted in our blood. I don't like such pessimistic movies. I like to forget world troubles for the three hours I am in the theatre.
Not to forget the fact that I had a flat tire on the way there.
Kalyug - If you ever want to honeymoon in some remote and scenic hillstation in India, you won't after this movie. And frankly, I have heard there have been hidden camera cases in many other tourist places too, as well as the famous Dhaka College case some years back. Another good movie. Probably another rip-off. Some logical thinking required though. If you are on bail you canNOT travel out of the country. Also, Switzerland is not cheap. I went to Montreal a few days back for some time and the cost in lodging, flight and food was a good amount. Average Indians do not go to Switzerland.
Zinda - A fantastic movie. Probably a rip-off from some English movies, Indian thrillers are hardly this good. Everyone should watch this movie.
Tags: Rang De Basanti Zinda Kalyug
Rang De Basanti - The regular Bengali clique decided to skip this movie, so I went ahead with some Indian friends. I thought it was a waste of $9, they loved the movie. The first half was very good, lot of colour, music, laughter and fun,, while the second half was grim, dark and thought-provoking. The ride back from the cinema was quiet too, each absorbed in their own thoughts, except when we recounted the tale of the Sardar seated in one row ahead of us. The mom poked her kid and asked loudly, "Oy! Are you sleeping?" Fully ONE MINUTE later the kid stirs and replies, "No mom, I'm not."
Rang De Basanti (don't worry, no spoilers) deals with a group of young Indians and their cynical attitude towards the ideals of Indian freedom fighters. They are disillusioned with corruption, and one of them has active plans to move out of the country as soon as he is done his undergraduate studies. However, when corruption hits home, they become motivated to stand up to the system.
Yawn.
This is where my Indian friends and I diverged in our opinions. I totally hated the way they chose to stand up to the system. Tell me, have they not heard of a BLOG? All you need to do to expose a corrupt story is to blog it, with proof, then email the link to desipundit. Remember the IIPM case and how Indian bloggers rallied against it? The movie also leaves you with a feeling of helplessness. Do you want to risk your life and change a corrupt system, or will you look out for yourselves and move out of the country, as countless others have done? No country is perfect, but it seems the corruption is deeply rooted in our blood. I don't like such pessimistic movies. I like to forget world troubles for the three hours I am in the theatre.
Not to forget the fact that I had a flat tire on the way there.
Kalyug - If you ever want to honeymoon in some remote and scenic hillstation in India, you won't after this movie. And frankly, I have heard there have been hidden camera cases in many other tourist places too, as well as the famous Dhaka College case some years back. Another good movie. Probably another rip-off. Some logical thinking required though. If you are on bail you canNOT travel out of the country. Also, Switzerland is not cheap. I went to Montreal a few days back for some time and the cost in lodging, flight and food was a good amount. Average Indians do not go to Switzerland.
Zinda - A fantastic movie. Probably a rip-off from some English movies, Indian thrillers are hardly this good. Everyone should watch this movie.
Tags: Rang De Basanti Zinda Kalyug
Friday, January 27, 2006
Jummah Tales
It's Friday, so let me talk about religion. As I sat at my mosque listening to the speaker go on, I looked around to note the other attendees at the prayer. One man was playing an imaginary tic-tac-toe on the mosque carpet. He would use his fingers to make the grid, place what looked like crosses and 0s, and then rub it off. A few people had a very peaceful look to them, as if sakina had descended on them. Later I found out they were actually asleep! Yet another person had his legs tucked slightly underneath his body, his hands repeatedly scrubbing his socks. Later, on moving closer to him as people got up for prayers, I understood why. He must have been wearing the same socks for the week, and he was hoping no one would notice (little tip: rubbing socks repeatedly does not make the smell disappear).
The good thing about the mosque where I attend Friday prayers from work is that they rotate their speakers weekly. If you don't like one speaker or find him boring, you are not stuck with him. He comes back every three or four weeks. When I was growing up in the Middle East, all khutbahs were given in Arabic, so it didn't matter what they were talking about, it was all equally dull. It was after coming to Canada that I started to understand the speeches.
I am not saying all khatibs are bad or boring. Just last week, there was a khatib who spoke about the election. He told us why we should vote, a bit of history on early Islamic democracy, how the Prophet took decisions by majority and how we today can judge our politicians. That's what I want, I want speeches on Friday that I can relate to. A few ones back, one speaker told us about business etiquettes. Yet sometime back, another speaker told the congregation of the importance of spending time with families, particularly spouses. He actually talked about fishing and golf!
At many Islamic talks on Fridays, I don't feel as I can connect. The things they talk about - yawn. At one time, one speaker in a bid to 'connect to the youth', talked about how two teens were so eager to join the Badr campaign they followed the army despite the Prophet's prohibitions. At another time one young Muslim used to read the whole Quran at one night. That's fine, but he didn't have to submit an CSCA02 assignment by Friday 2 pm. Or drive through rush hour on the DVP to get to an early morning presentation at work. I know the reply would be that they would have their own problems of their time. That's fine. In today's world, Muslims have other issues. The preachers should talk about akhirah a little less, and duniya a bit more.
Giving me the example of a man who ten centuries ago broke all his teeth because he heard the Messenger of God had broken a single tooth at Uhud is not going to inspire me to pray five times a day. Rather, talk about how the Prophet stood up in respect when the funeral of a Jew passed him by, or the tips Ayesha gave to an Ansari women to make herself more attractive (!), or how Usman conducted his flourishing business - those are the ways Muslims today can be inspired about how practical Islam can be.
Tags: Islam Jummah
The good thing about the mosque where I attend Friday prayers from work is that they rotate their speakers weekly. If you don't like one speaker or find him boring, you are not stuck with him. He comes back every three or four weeks. When I was growing up in the Middle East, all khutbahs were given in Arabic, so it didn't matter what they were talking about, it was all equally dull. It was after coming to Canada that I started to understand the speeches.
I am not saying all khatibs are bad or boring. Just last week, there was a khatib who spoke about the election. He told us why we should vote, a bit of history on early Islamic democracy, how the Prophet took decisions by majority and how we today can judge our politicians. That's what I want, I want speeches on Friday that I can relate to. A few ones back, one speaker told us about business etiquettes. Yet sometime back, another speaker told the congregation of the importance of spending time with families, particularly spouses. He actually talked about fishing and golf!
At many Islamic talks on Fridays, I don't feel as I can connect. The things they talk about - yawn. At one time, one speaker in a bid to 'connect to the youth', talked about how two teens were so eager to join the Badr campaign they followed the army despite the Prophet's prohibitions. At another time one young Muslim used to read the whole Quran at one night. That's fine, but he didn't have to submit an CSCA02 assignment by Friday 2 pm. Or drive through rush hour on the DVP to get to an early morning presentation at work. I know the reply would be that they would have their own problems of their time. That's fine. In today's world, Muslims have other issues. The preachers should talk about akhirah a little less, and duniya a bit more.
Giving me the example of a man who ten centuries ago broke all his teeth because he heard the Messenger of God had broken a single tooth at Uhud is not going to inspire me to pray five times a day. Rather, talk about how the Prophet stood up in respect when the funeral of a Jew passed him by, or the tips Ayesha gave to an Ansari women to make herself more attractive (!), or how Usman conducted his flourishing business - those are the ways Muslims today can be inspired about how practical Islam can be.
Tags: Islam Jummah
Toronto Taxi Tragedy
In a recent tragic turn of events, a taxi driver in Toronto was killed when two 18-year-olds raced their parents' cars along Mt. Pleasant Road on the edge of downtown when one of them struck his taxi. The taxi driver was Tahir Khan, 40, of Pakistan. What makes this story tragic was the fact that Khan was three days shy of becoming a Canadian citizen. He had immigrated here from Pakistan, and was planning to bring his wife and sick mother to care for them. The kids who caused his death are from a rich, well-to-do family, the cars they were racing were Mercedes Benzs, and the minimum price of a house in the area of their residences is above $800,000.
The young drivers who caused the accident were unharmed, a tribute to the safety of Mercedes air bags. They were street racing, travelling 160 kph on a road with a speed limit of 50, when one of them collided with Khan, pushing his taxi into a pole, and instant death.
Police found a copy of Need For Speed in their cars, and now blame their addiction to the game for this tragedy. Which is shocking to me. I grew up on First Person Shooter games like Doom and Wolf3d, I played NFS and GTA, yet you don't find me racing through downtown Toronto running down people for fun. And there are lots like me. If you want to blame someone here, blame two young people from a rich background who did not know how to be responsible and accountable for their actions. Whether its bad parenting or just bad judgment, as a result of their reckless act they have destroyed many lives. Theirs, their parents, the cab driver and his family, and anyone he was supporting back home.
The two men are charged with criminal negligence causing death. These are young men who should have understood the possible, and likely, consequences of their actions. If found guilty, the court should make an example of them. Not house arrest, not weekends in jail. Prison. For Life.
Tags: Toronto Street Racing
The young drivers who caused the accident were unharmed, a tribute to the safety of Mercedes air bags. They were street racing, travelling 160 kph on a road with a speed limit of 50, when one of them collided with Khan, pushing his taxi into a pole, and instant death.
Police found a copy of Need For Speed in their cars, and now blame their addiction to the game for this tragedy. Which is shocking to me. I grew up on First Person Shooter games like Doom and Wolf3d, I played NFS and GTA, yet you don't find me racing through downtown Toronto running down people for fun. And there are lots like me. If you want to blame someone here, blame two young people from a rich background who did not know how to be responsible and accountable for their actions. Whether its bad parenting or just bad judgment, as a result of their reckless act they have destroyed many lives. Theirs, their parents, the cab driver and his family, and anyone he was supporting back home.
The two men are charged with criminal negligence causing death. These are young men who should have understood the possible, and likely, consequences of their actions. If found guilty, the court should make an example of them. Not house arrest, not weekends in jail. Prison. For Life.
Tags: Toronto Street Racing
Wednesday, January 25, 2006
Tu, Vu and You
I am taking French classes after work. In Canada, it can pay to be bilingual. Our teacher focuses on teaching us vu and tu, the French versions of you. During the break, I ask her a few questions on when to use vu and when to use tu.
"Ah yezz." She nods understandingly. "I know lot of people used to English cannot understand zis. In English you have only you. In French, you have two levels of you. Sometimez you say vu, other times it is tu."
"Yes," I impatiently cut in, "but my question ..."
"Is I know hard." She continues obliviously. "In French we have two levels of you. It is hard to comprehend, I know."
"Ma'am." I replied quietly. "I am Bengali. In Bangla we have THREE levels of you. (Aapni, Tumi and Tui - corresponds to aap, tum and tu in Hindi/Urdu). So I can understand TWO levels perfectly."
"Oh." The French teacher's pride in her language was punctured. "I see."
I walked back to my desk, chest swelling at the marvelous Bengali language. Another student seated next to me, a Chinese fellow, leaned in and whispered. "Interesting. Do you know in my dialect, we have thirteen levels of you?"
Tags: French Bengali
"Ah yezz." She nods understandingly. "I know lot of people used to English cannot understand zis. In English you have only you. In French, you have two levels of you. Sometimez you say vu, other times it is tu."
"Yes," I impatiently cut in, "but my question ..."
"Is I know hard." She continues obliviously. "In French we have two levels of you. It is hard to comprehend, I know."
"Ma'am." I replied quietly. "I am Bengali. In Bangla we have THREE levels of you. (Aapni, Tumi and Tui - corresponds to aap, tum and tu in Hindi/Urdu). So I can understand TWO levels perfectly."
"Oh." The French teacher's pride in her language was punctured. "I see."
I walked back to my desk, chest swelling at the marvelous Bengali language. Another student seated next to me, a Chinese fellow, leaned in and whispered. "Interesting. Do you know in my dialect, we have thirteen levels of you?"
Tags: French Bengali
Bengali Players - 2 (Mansur Bhai)
"Mansur Bhai, wherever you are, please report to the stage."
This, and similar calls, are familiar to any Bengali show attendant. The show, slated to start at 6 pm SHARP (printed in bold on the ticket), indicates an 8 pm start. We arrive at 6.30, and once our hands are stamped with a dollar store toy, directed to our seats by a well-dress female volunteer in a sari. A couple of deckhands are on stage, arranging the lights for Act 1 when the above announcement rings out.
"Mansur Bhai, aapni jekhani thakun, monch-e ashoon."
We find our Mansur Bhai, a harried 26 year old who has long left university but still helps out the students due to this female student he had met in his final year who is completing her Masters, hurries over to the MC.
The MC is a second year guy with glasses, hair that could need combing, freckles. He looks like Bill Gates, minus the dollars.
"Mic 1 and 4 are not working." He proclaims in a self-important voice. He feels proud that he has organized the Mics into numbers.
"Mic 1?" Mansur Bhai scratches his head. "Which is that?"
"1 and 4." The MC waits patiently. When it is clear Mansur Bhai is not getting it he utters in frustration, "In Ghorer Alo, 1 is to be used by Jashim, while 4 is Adiba’s."
"Oh, then why didn’t you say so?" Mansur turns towards the dressing rooms, leaving behind the MC muttering something about Bangladeshis never progressing due to lack of organization. He finds Jashim in the guy’s room, and looks at Mic 1. And turns it on. Utters something about universities turning out dumbasses and walks to the girls’ room. Pausing outside, popping a Polo Mint into his mouth, making sure he is zipped up, knocks. Firmly, he hopes.
"Come in."
He hesitatingly enters. Adiba looks at him enquiringly.
Adiba, the Bangladeshi who would fit smugly in Bollywood. Always impeccably dressed, with the pallu of a sari slung seductively over her shoulder at a Bengali meet, or in tight Gucci jeans and Schenze T-shirt at a club, Adiba could flirt outrageously with just her eyes.
"I am here ... you said Mic 3 ... 5 ... your thing is not working?" Mansur Bhai blurts out.
"Oh yes." Adiba sashays over to him. "Dekhen na. Eta kaaaaaj korchena." She stares straight at him.
"Oh." Mansur Bhai chokes. "Where is the mic?"
"Here. On the lapel of my blouse."
"Oh," Mansur starts to sweat. "Can you give it to me please?"
A hint of a mischievous smile plays across Adiba’s lips. "I just put makeup cream on my hands." She held them up as if she had applied henna. "You have to take it out."
"I … I … ", Mansur Bhai was saved further anguish by the door slamming open and Reshma Apu storming in. Older, slightly overweight after skipping the gym once too many times, Reshma was the picture of the harried organizer. She clearly wanted to say something to Adiba but focused on Mansur Bhai.
"Why are you here?"
"He was looking at why this is not working." Adiba had meanwhile unclasped the mic and handed it to him. She did not want trouble with Reshma Apu. Glad for the effort, Mansur looked at the mic. It was set on the incorrect broadcast channel. He quickly reset it and spoke into it.
"Tesh-ting, Ha-one! Two! Di-ree! Tesh-ting, Ha-one! Two! Di-ree!"
The MC heard the sudden outburst of accented counting. Immediately he rushed into his stall and grabbed the broadcast mic, labeled Mic 0.
"Mansur Bhai, wherever you are, please report to the stage. AT ONCE."
A snippet, inspired by the announcement I heard recently at an Eid function. Based on a true story. No point to it really, except that it's so easy to critize shows that are produced by hardworking volunteers whose only rewards may be some kind words. By some Adiba.
BTW I encourage all to attend the BSA shows. They are well produced, starts on time, and feature excellent variety.
Tags: Bengali
This, and similar calls, are familiar to any Bengali show attendant. The show, slated to start at 6 pm SHARP (printed in bold on the ticket), indicates an 8 pm start. We arrive at 6.30, and once our hands are stamped with a dollar store toy, directed to our seats by a well-dress female volunteer in a sari. A couple of deckhands are on stage, arranging the lights for Act 1 when the above announcement rings out.
"Mansur Bhai, aapni jekhani thakun, monch-e ashoon."
We find our Mansur Bhai, a harried 26 year old who has long left university but still helps out the students due to this female student he had met in his final year who is completing her Masters, hurries over to the MC.
The MC is a second year guy with glasses, hair that could need combing, freckles. He looks like Bill Gates, minus the dollars.
"Mic 1 and 4 are not working." He proclaims in a self-important voice. He feels proud that he has organized the Mics into numbers.
"Mic 1?" Mansur Bhai scratches his head. "Which is that?"
"1 and 4." The MC waits patiently. When it is clear Mansur Bhai is not getting it he utters in frustration, "In Ghorer Alo, 1 is to be used by Jashim, while 4 is Adiba’s."
"Oh, then why didn’t you say so?" Mansur turns towards the dressing rooms, leaving behind the MC muttering something about Bangladeshis never progressing due to lack of organization. He finds Jashim in the guy’s room, and looks at Mic 1. And turns it on. Utters something about universities turning out dumbasses and walks to the girls’ room. Pausing outside, popping a Polo Mint into his mouth, making sure he is zipped up, knocks. Firmly, he hopes.
"Come in."
He hesitatingly enters. Adiba looks at him enquiringly.
Adiba, the Bangladeshi who would fit smugly in Bollywood. Always impeccably dressed, with the pallu of a sari slung seductively over her shoulder at a Bengali meet, or in tight Gucci jeans and Schenze T-shirt at a club, Adiba could flirt outrageously with just her eyes.
"I am here ... you said Mic 3 ... 5 ... your thing is not working?" Mansur Bhai blurts out.
"Oh yes." Adiba sashays over to him. "Dekhen na. Eta kaaaaaj korchena." She stares straight at him.
"Oh." Mansur Bhai chokes. "Where is the mic?"
"Here. On the lapel of my blouse."
"Oh," Mansur starts to sweat. "Can you give it to me please?"
A hint of a mischievous smile plays across Adiba’s lips. "I just put makeup cream on my hands." She held them up as if she had applied henna. "You have to take it out."
"I … I … ", Mansur Bhai was saved further anguish by the door slamming open and Reshma Apu storming in. Older, slightly overweight after skipping the gym once too many times, Reshma was the picture of the harried organizer. She clearly wanted to say something to Adiba but focused on Mansur Bhai.
"Why are you here?"
"He was looking at why this is not working." Adiba had meanwhile unclasped the mic and handed it to him. She did not want trouble with Reshma Apu. Glad for the effort, Mansur looked at the mic. It was set on the incorrect broadcast channel. He quickly reset it and spoke into it.
"Tesh-ting, Ha-one! Two! Di-ree! Tesh-ting, Ha-one! Two! Di-ree!"
The MC heard the sudden outburst of accented counting. Immediately he rushed into his stall and grabbed the broadcast mic, labeled Mic 0.
"Mansur Bhai, wherever you are, please report to the stage. AT ONCE."
A snippet, inspired by the announcement I heard recently at an Eid function. Based on a true story. No point to it really, except that it's so easy to critize shows that are produced by hardworking volunteers whose only rewards may be some kind words. By some Adiba.
BTW I encourage all to attend the BSA shows. They are well produced, starts on time, and feature excellent variety.
Tags: Bengali
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Searching For A Masters Program
I am currently trolling through the websites of Toronto universities looking for a good post-graduate program. It's tough when you are a Computer Science graduate. I don't want to program codes or research vague theories forever. However most of the Canadian Masters education in Computer Sciences is based on Graph theories and researches. I find a dearth of options when it comes to IT management and planning. It has to be in Toronto as I don't want to move and give up work.
I talked with one professor recently and asked him about the lack of good post-graduate options in Canada. His answer? Canada poaches off educated personnel from around the world, so we don't need to develop our own. That may be true, but most of those entering Canada eventually leave for the US as they cannot develop their skills here. And with outsourcing as it is, coding and researching may eventually shift to India and China, leaving the Western world's computer scientists in a state of despair.
The kicker? I checked out one universities requirement for an EMBA program. One of the admission requirements was $70,000. Per year.
Tags: Canada Universities Computer Science
I talked with one professor recently and asked him about the lack of good post-graduate options in Canada. His answer? Canada poaches off educated personnel from around the world, so we don't need to develop our own. That may be true, but most of those entering Canada eventually leave for the US as they cannot develop their skills here. And with outsourcing as it is, coding and researching may eventually shift to India and China, leaving the Western world's computer scientists in a state of despair.
The kicker? I checked out one universities requirement for an EMBA program. One of the admission requirements was $70,000. Per year.
Tags: Canada Universities Computer Science
I Am Proud To Be Canadian
Something remarkable happened last night. A government fell. A nation changed its rulers. And not a single bullet was fired.
When Paul Martin lost, his lifelong ambition to be Prime Minister in ruins, he graciously took to the podium, and congratulated Stephen Harper on his win. He outlined what he felt were his government's accomplishments, before dutifully stepping aside as leader, putting party, and country, first.
When Stephen Harper took to the stage, realizing a dream for many, he congratulated Paul Martin for his many years in service of his country.
The two may be different, they may have different ideas for Canada, they may have fought a long and tough campaign, but in the end they are both patriots and placed honour and country first.
Contrast this to Bangladesh, where the losing party always berates corruption, accuses an impartial caretaker government of fraud and vote rigging, encourages its youth wing to run loose in the city and cause mayhem, forces a general strike causing hardships to all, and then abstain from attending parliament and providing a meaningful opposition. They don't have to look far for inspiration, neighbouring India was the picture of grace when Vajpayee conceded the election to Sonia Gandhi's Congress.
Yes, today, I am proud to be a Canadian. There is much to learn for the world from Canadians.
Tags: Canada Elections
When Paul Martin lost, his lifelong ambition to be Prime Minister in ruins, he graciously took to the podium, and congratulated Stephen Harper on his win. He outlined what he felt were his government's accomplishments, before dutifully stepping aside as leader, putting party, and country, first.
When Stephen Harper took to the stage, realizing a dream for many, he congratulated Paul Martin for his many years in service of his country.
The two may be different, they may have different ideas for Canada, they may have fought a long and tough campaign, but in the end they are both patriots and placed honour and country first.
Contrast this to Bangladesh, where the losing party always berates corruption, accuses an impartial caretaker government of fraud and vote rigging, encourages its youth wing to run loose in the city and cause mayhem, forces a general strike causing hardships to all, and then abstain from attending parliament and providing a meaningful opposition. They don't have to look far for inspiration, neighbouring India was the picture of grace when Vajpayee conceded the election to Sonia Gandhi's Congress.
Yes, today, I am proud to be a Canadian. There is much to learn for the world from Canadians.
Tags: Canada Elections
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Bus Musings
Every few months I get a bug in me that says I have to save money for future expenses. And I decide, OK, from next month, I am going to use the bus to get to work and give up driving my car downtown. And then I take the bus for one day as a trial, and dutifully give up this insane idea for another few months.
My family needed the car today, so I had the opportunity to take the bus to run some errands. It was a simple A to B and back again. I forgot it was Sunday, and I live in Scarborough.
You see, on the weekends, the TTC single day pass is extended for families. For the price of one day pass, a whole family can travel. And in multicultural Scarborough, the two adults and four children rule is tested to the limit. Here are a few random and racist(!) musings on my TTC travels:
In my car, I get my music, my a/c, my pace and my peace. Screw the environment and money-saving. With the warm spring-like Winter we are having here, global warming is good.
Tags: TTC Toronto
My family needed the car today, so I had the opportunity to take the bus to run some errands. It was a simple A to B and back again. I forgot it was Sunday, and I live in Scarborough.
You see, on the weekends, the TTC single day pass is extended for families. For the price of one day pass, a whole family can travel. And in multicultural Scarborough, the two adults and four children rule is tested to the limit. Here are a few random and racist(!) musings on my TTC travels:
- Why do some young men, particularly black, and Bengali FOBs who think they are black, sit with their legs spread as apart as possible? I would like to know what brand of jeans you wear - the pants are already way down and now you are stretching them to the limit - and they are holding, just!
- Just because you are a woman with 3 kids does not mean you can sit in the disabled/senior section and pretend the rules don't apply. If a senior gets on the bus, you get up!
- I have heard the term somewhere before - so I cannot take credit for this - SUV strollers. Good grief, when I was a young kid (I sound like my dad now) strollers were thin little things you put the baby in and push. Now it appears these strollers can beat a Walmart shopping cart in size. It takes two people to hoist it on the bus and you can forget about the parents moving to the back. Get on the bus to avoid a traffic jam - and there's one in the bus aisle.
- And I will have to run into an auntie whose name I will never recall. One saw me today at the bus stop, chatted to me for 10 minutes until her bus came, and all the time I was like, wtf was her name again? I know I saw her somewhere. This is one good point towards Asian politeness, you can say auntie instead of Mrs ----- and just smile and nod.
- TTC buses seem to have strange shock stabilization systems. Someone (usually an older Chinese gent) will decide he has a perfect sense of balance, and stand reading his paper, disregarding the handrails. And then the bus takes a turn, and the gent goes flying. Sow-lee!
- Some desi girls with matching clothes get on the bus. Now I think this is one department guys are completely different. When I meet up with my guy friends for a night of pool or movies, we don't ask each other what are you wearing. Some girls, on the other hand, always seem to coordinate their outfits. And then they give the guys on the bus, especially the ones with bandannas, a once-over. Alright, there's nothing wrong with girls ogling guys (gender equality and all that), but atleast not while you are WEARING A HIJAB!
In my car, I get my music, my a/c, my pace and my peace. Screw the environment and money-saving. With the warm spring-like Winter we are having here, global warming is good.
Tags: TTC Toronto
Friday, January 20, 2006
The Election As I See It
Americans who always point to Canada as a bastion of liberal and progressive values may have to choose another example - on Tuesday, Jan 24, we could wake up to a different kind of Canada. I encourage everyone to vote, not because it's cool (it's not), but everyone does what's cool, so maybe you should do what is not cool to be cool. OK, that doesn't make too much sense, but here is how I see the issues:
Muslim Issues: Americans may be surprised to know we Canadians have less personal rights than Americans (in theory). The government can pick a Canadian off the street and lock him up for years without a trial under what is known as the 'Security Certificate'. This is a violation of civil liberties that increasingly, and unfairly, targets Muslims. The Conservatives have promised to review the issue, and change it from being decided by a minister to being decided by a panel of judges. The Liberals don't care about the issue. The NDP is the only party that has promised to cancel the ATA and the 'Security Certificates'. There are laws already in place that can be used to provide security for Canadians and protect civil liberties.
Foreign Credentials: Canada poaches off the world for its intellectuals and lets only the best immigrate here. This fails, however, as most professionals find that their degrees are not recognized here and they would have to start from way below on the ladder. All three parties have recognized this issue. The NDP has raised it prominently in their campaigns and stated they would tell immigrants from upfront what their struggles will be like. The Conservatives have promised a national agency to evaluate foreign credentials. The Liberals have offered no plans.
Immigration: This is one area the Liberals shine. They have followed through on multiculturalism and Canada has the most diverse set of immigrants in the world. Letting only the skilled ones in have ensured immigrants here are of the best kind, who want to make life better for themselves and contribute positively to the community. Recently the Liberals have also made it easier for grandparents to come in, and allow international students to work while studying and settle in Canada afterwards. The NDP follow a similar ideology to the Liberals. The Conservatives have not said much about immigration in their campaign, but from past statements and their ads linking crime and immigration, it seems to me that they look at immigrants with a distrustful eye. In my opinion they would restrict immigration and reunion of families.
Foreign Affairs: Under the NDP, Canada would pursue a balanced and middle road in foreign affairs. They have criticized GW Bush immensely, and would respect international organizations like UN. The Liberals say they will do the same, however under Martin, the Liberals have moved a bit to the right. They support Israel's actions in the UN, sent troops to Haiti to remove a ruler, and committed troops to Afghanistan without Parliamentary review (to be clear Canada needs to be there, but it should have Parliament's approval). The Conservatives would join any foreign military affair the Americans would undertake. They would have been in Iraq.
Same sex and minority rights: The NDP is for minority rights. The Liberals are mostly for, but few of them (such as Tom Wappel and the Sikh Liberals in GTA) are very socially conservative. The Conservatives seem to base such issues as 'morality', and look to their religious values for guidance. As such, they would be against SSM, and some of them have in the past spoken out against abortion.
Environment: The NDP seems to have the most pro-environment agenda of the three. They would respect Kyoto and last election the Sierra club chose their platform over the Green party. The Liberals have signed the Kyoto treaty but our emissions have risen (greater than USA) and we have had numerous 'boil-water' advisories in rural communities. The Conservatives follow the Republicans in denouncing Kyoto, but have no effectual ideas of their own.
Tax & Economy: The Liberals have the best tax plan of all. They have cut income taxes already, and have promised to cut it further. However they have enough to commit to surpluses and pay down the debt. The economy under the Liberals for the last 12 years have been the best amongst the G7, and we have not had a depression. Unemployment is at its lowest. The NDP has stated they would not favour tax hikes but would not cut them either. The Conservatives have promised to raise income taxes. They would cut GST and give a host of other tax cuts, but there is fear that it would lead to US-style deficits. I don't see their GST benefiting poor people as they get GST rebates anyways. To me, it appears their policies are designed to improve the rich.
Crime: A surprise here, the socialist NDP has actually promised a tough-on-crime platform. However they will also continue social programs to prevent crime. It appears to me the Liberals do not want to acknowledge crime exists, instead pointing to exclusion (when the gunmen left in a BMW). Conservatives have a tough-on-crime attitude as well (and most likely to deliver), but they appear to ignore social programs.
I would encourage all Canadians to study the issues, ignore the media commentary and soundbites, and vote accordingly on Monday. Each vote literally counts in Canada, as the party you vote for gets $1.75 per vote for its funds. If you don't vote, you let others speak for you.
Tags: Canada Elections
Muslim Issues: Americans may be surprised to know we Canadians have less personal rights than Americans (in theory). The government can pick a Canadian off the street and lock him up for years without a trial under what is known as the 'Security Certificate'. This is a violation of civil liberties that increasingly, and unfairly, targets Muslims. The Conservatives have promised to review the issue, and change it from being decided by a minister to being decided by a panel of judges. The Liberals don't care about the issue. The NDP is the only party that has promised to cancel the ATA and the 'Security Certificates'. There are laws already in place that can be used to provide security for Canadians and protect civil liberties.
Foreign Credentials: Canada poaches off the world for its intellectuals and lets only the best immigrate here. This fails, however, as most professionals find that their degrees are not recognized here and they would have to start from way below on the ladder. All three parties have recognized this issue. The NDP has raised it prominently in their campaigns and stated they would tell immigrants from upfront what their struggles will be like. The Conservatives have promised a national agency to evaluate foreign credentials. The Liberals have offered no plans.
Immigration: This is one area the Liberals shine. They have followed through on multiculturalism and Canada has the most diverse set of immigrants in the world. Letting only the skilled ones in have ensured immigrants here are of the best kind, who want to make life better for themselves and contribute positively to the community. Recently the Liberals have also made it easier for grandparents to come in, and allow international students to work while studying and settle in Canada afterwards. The NDP follow a similar ideology to the Liberals. The Conservatives have not said much about immigration in their campaign, but from past statements and their ads linking crime and immigration, it seems to me that they look at immigrants with a distrustful eye. In my opinion they would restrict immigration and reunion of families.
Foreign Affairs: Under the NDP, Canada would pursue a balanced and middle road in foreign affairs. They have criticized GW Bush immensely, and would respect international organizations like UN. The Liberals say they will do the same, however under Martin, the Liberals have moved a bit to the right. They support Israel's actions in the UN, sent troops to Haiti to remove a ruler, and committed troops to Afghanistan without Parliamentary review (to be clear Canada needs to be there, but it should have Parliament's approval). The Conservatives would join any foreign military affair the Americans would undertake. They would have been in Iraq.
Same sex and minority rights: The NDP is for minority rights. The Liberals are mostly for, but few of them (such as Tom Wappel and the Sikh Liberals in GTA) are very socially conservative. The Conservatives seem to base such issues as 'morality', and look to their religious values for guidance. As such, they would be against SSM, and some of them have in the past spoken out against abortion.
Environment: The NDP seems to have the most pro-environment agenda of the three. They would respect Kyoto and last election the Sierra club chose their platform over the Green party. The Liberals have signed the Kyoto treaty but our emissions have risen (greater than USA) and we have had numerous 'boil-water' advisories in rural communities. The Conservatives follow the Republicans in denouncing Kyoto, but have no effectual ideas of their own.
Tax & Economy: The Liberals have the best tax plan of all. They have cut income taxes already, and have promised to cut it further. However they have enough to commit to surpluses and pay down the debt. The economy under the Liberals for the last 12 years have been the best amongst the G7, and we have not had a depression. Unemployment is at its lowest. The NDP has stated they would not favour tax hikes but would not cut them either. The Conservatives have promised to raise income taxes. They would cut GST and give a host of other tax cuts, but there is fear that it would lead to US-style deficits. I don't see their GST benefiting poor people as they get GST rebates anyways. To me, it appears their policies are designed to improve the rich.
Crime: A surprise here, the socialist NDP has actually promised a tough-on-crime platform. However they will also continue social programs to prevent crime. It appears to me the Liberals do not want to acknowledge crime exists, instead pointing to exclusion (when the gunmen left in a BMW). Conservatives have a tough-on-crime attitude as well (and most likely to deliver), but they appear to ignore social programs.
I would encourage all Canadians to study the issues, ignore the media commentary and soundbites, and vote accordingly on Monday. Each vote literally counts in Canada, as the party you vote for gets $1.75 per vote for its funds. If you don't vote, you let others speak for you.
Tags: Canada Elections
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
ATN Bangla Commercial
We recently got the ATN Bangla channel for our residence. It has the usual mix of Bengali dramas, songs and shows, etc. What I enjoy about it are the commercials. Some are corny, some are good.
I may have said it before and I will say it again. South Asian channels have far superior commercials. The ads on Canadian channels are really of low quality. Who's Better Than Badboy Furnitures, Noooooobody or something equally yawnable like Dairy Queen has a special. They are straight forward announcements. Whereas the desi ads show imagination, comedy, has a script, beautiful women and did I mention imagination. One ad on ATN Bangla, though, irks me. It's a Fair & Lovely one.
Remember the famous scene from DDLJ, where the actress Kajol is running on the platform towards her departing train, and the hero Shah Rukh Khan is on the train, sees her and extends a hand out to her? She reaches out, grabs his hand as he pulls her in. The Fair & Lovely people spoofed this ad. Our heroine, an attractive young woman, is running on the platform towards her train. Her boyfriend who is on the train extends out a hand. She also reaches out, then pauses. Wait, she tells herself. Look at my hand. I am dark. I cannot let him grab my dark hand. She hesitates and remains on the platform as the train pulls away with her dumbfounded boyfriend.
She returns home and takes out her Fair & Lovely whitening cream. Voila, seven days later, she is again running on the platform. Everyone's head turns to look at her. She is so white, so fair (infact she looks positively radioactive as whiteness appears from within her). Her boyfriend is once again on the departing train. He sees her and again extends out a hand. Ever thought of giving her a watch, buddy?
This time our heroine is confident of her fair hand, so she also runs towards him. But wait! Suddenly, another carriage door nearer to her opens, and a supermodel male is standing there! He sees the heroine, and gives her his hand. Our now fairer girl gives one last pity look at her boyfriend, grabs the new male lead's hand and climbs abroad the train. Poor loser boyfriend. If only you had used Fair & Lovely too. Tsk tsk. The ad finishes with some empowering message.
My question to the hypothetical lady: You boyfriend was willing to hoist you to the train before you put on the whitening cream. Ever thought of that?
Shabina wrote a post about pretty women with some not-so-pretty men. Continuing with this chain of thought, women today seem to be redefining the concept of pretty themselves. I don't say women should NOT use beautification products, but how well do these 'whitening' products work? If you DO need to work with something, perhaps your figure? Zee's Saloni is one such great series. It's about a dark girl who is not attractive but makes herself to be. Rather than scrub your face with bleach, cut down on the number of samosas? Any girl who is not fat is pretty. And anyone that looks like some radioactive albino is definitely NOT pretty.
Tags: ATN Bangla Fair And Lovely Commercial
I may have said it before and I will say it again. South Asian channels have far superior commercials. The ads on Canadian channels are really of low quality. Who's Better Than Badboy Furnitures, Noooooobody or something equally yawnable like Dairy Queen has a special. They are straight forward announcements. Whereas the desi ads show imagination, comedy, has a script, beautiful women and did I mention imagination. One ad on ATN Bangla, though, irks me. It's a Fair & Lovely one.
Remember the famous scene from DDLJ, where the actress Kajol is running on the platform towards her departing train, and the hero Shah Rukh Khan is on the train, sees her and extends a hand out to her? She reaches out, grabs his hand as he pulls her in. The Fair & Lovely people spoofed this ad. Our heroine, an attractive young woman, is running on the platform towards her train. Her boyfriend who is on the train extends out a hand. She also reaches out, then pauses. Wait, she tells herself. Look at my hand. I am dark. I cannot let him grab my dark hand. She hesitates and remains on the platform as the train pulls away with her dumbfounded boyfriend.
She returns home and takes out her Fair & Lovely whitening cream. Voila, seven days later, she is again running on the platform. Everyone's head turns to look at her. She is so white, so fair (infact she looks positively radioactive as whiteness appears from within her). Her boyfriend is once again on the departing train. He sees her and again extends out a hand. Ever thought of giving her a watch, buddy?
This time our heroine is confident of her fair hand, so she also runs towards him. But wait! Suddenly, another carriage door nearer to her opens, and a supermodel male is standing there! He sees the heroine, and gives her his hand. Our now fairer girl gives one last pity look at her boyfriend, grabs the new male lead's hand and climbs abroad the train. Poor loser boyfriend. If only you had used Fair & Lovely too. Tsk tsk. The ad finishes with some empowering message.
My question to the hypothetical lady: You boyfriend was willing to hoist you to the train before you put on the whitening cream. Ever thought of that?
Shabina wrote a post about pretty women with some not-so-pretty men. Continuing with this chain of thought, women today seem to be redefining the concept of pretty themselves. I don't say women should NOT use beautification products, but how well do these 'whitening' products work? If you DO need to work with something, perhaps your figure? Zee's Saloni is one such great series. It's about a dark girl who is not attractive but makes herself to be. Rather than scrub your face with bleach, cut down on the number of samosas? Any girl who is not fat is pretty. And anyone that looks like some radioactive albino is definitely NOT pretty.
Tags: ATN Bangla Fair And Lovely Commercial
Sunday, January 15, 2006
Superficial Kindness of Strangers
Do we habitually ignore those who care for us for superficial behaviour?
I was on an Emirates flight returning to Dubai from Dhaka, on the way back to Toronto. It was before Hajj, and the flight was filled with people going for Hajj. Most of them were illiterate Hajjis who started wearing the two-piece Ihram at Dhaka airport itself. It was cold and they were shivering.
My seat was the left aisle seat on the center row. They seated a really old lady beside me to my right. She was going for pilgrimage with her son and son's wife. Now if other (younger) people didn't know anything about air journey she looked completely bewildered. Her son and daughter-in-law were seated elsewhere. I offered to change the seat with one of them, but they didn't want to.
This old lady was really frightened. Great, I thought, as if the whole flight wasn't delayed already. I really hate the Dubai-Dhaka or Dhaka-Dubai stretch. Nevertheless, firm in my belief that you have to be polite and well behaved to Hajjis who are 'guests of God', I had no choice but to grin and bear it, so I behaved extremely well with my co-passenger. She was my grandmother's age, and I never let her realize how irritating she was with her constant nagging. At the back of my mind was the thought, she is going for Hajj. She is a senior citizen. She deserved good behaviour. I have to do my part. I answered all her questions. When the meal came she asked me to ask her son if he had paid for it - I told her it was free. When I saw her shivering I asked the stewardess for a blanket. I told her how to adjust those earphones so she could listen to the Quran channel.
There was a selfish reason to my good behaviour as well. If she remembers my kindness and prays for me and God accepts her prayer, it's good for me. Guest of God, I kept reminding myself. But really, the main thing was, I knew I would have to do this for only four hours. After that, I would not see her again, and for four hours, I could afford to be polite.
She was really taken with my behaviour. Whenever a flight attendant passed by, she would tell her how good and kind a 'boy' I was, much to my embarrassment, and an amused look on the stewardess's part. Her son came by once, she gushed about what a decent and 'noble' person I was, a 'fareeshta' (angel) sent by God. I was kind of feeling guilty about my ambivalent feelings.
Then she started to complain about her son. If he really loved his mother he would have come early to the airport to get good seats on the flight. If he loved his mother he would have taken my offer to change seats. How the son was always late from work and after returning to the house would go out with his wife. How she felt neglected. How her son gave her an meagre allowance and if she asked for money he would ask why before giving it to her, and yet 'wasted' money on the wife. This and that.
I don't know too much about her personal life, but having spoken to the son later while in line for the washroom, he worked terribly hard as a government clerk. He had saved enough for the Hajj and it was because of his mother they were all going. He himself would rather saved that money or spent it on other uses. They were six siblings but no one wanted to care for their mother, so as eldest son he took the responsibility.
The best was the parting shot when we exited at Dubai. The lady told me I was a good man and better than her own son. Now as I waited for my Toronto bound flight, I could not help pondering, I was kind to her for a few hours because I could, and because I would never have to be again. And her son is taking care of her, looking after her, taking her for Hajj, and yet she sees fit to complain about the little things of her son to perfect strangers. Or even his bad behaviour at times, which should be overlooked. Do people really not see their own? Why do we always take our own for granted, and why do some seniors take the superficial good behaviour of strangers and compare to their own caretakers? I have met many older folk who complain to my parents when we are visiting them about trivial matters, and yet we are there only for a few hours and can be on our good behaviour.
Tags: Kindness of Strangers Bangladesh Hajj
I was on an Emirates flight returning to Dubai from Dhaka, on the way back to Toronto. It was before Hajj, and the flight was filled with people going for Hajj. Most of them were illiterate Hajjis who started wearing the two-piece Ihram at Dhaka airport itself. It was cold and they were shivering.
My seat was the left aisle seat on the center row. They seated a really old lady beside me to my right. She was going for pilgrimage with her son and son's wife. Now if other (younger) people didn't know anything about air journey she looked completely bewildered. Her son and daughter-in-law were seated elsewhere. I offered to change the seat with one of them, but they didn't want to.
This old lady was really frightened. Great, I thought, as if the whole flight wasn't delayed already. I really hate the Dubai-Dhaka or Dhaka-Dubai stretch. Nevertheless, firm in my belief that you have to be polite and well behaved to Hajjis who are 'guests of God', I had no choice but to grin and bear it, so I behaved extremely well with my co-passenger. She was my grandmother's age, and I never let her realize how irritating she was with her constant nagging. At the back of my mind was the thought, she is going for Hajj. She is a senior citizen. She deserved good behaviour. I have to do my part. I answered all her questions. When the meal came she asked me to ask her son if he had paid for it - I told her it was free. When I saw her shivering I asked the stewardess for a blanket. I told her how to adjust those earphones so she could listen to the Quran channel.
There was a selfish reason to my good behaviour as well. If she remembers my kindness and prays for me and God accepts her prayer, it's good for me. Guest of God, I kept reminding myself. But really, the main thing was, I knew I would have to do this for only four hours. After that, I would not see her again, and for four hours, I could afford to be polite.
She was really taken with my behaviour. Whenever a flight attendant passed by, she would tell her how good and kind a 'boy' I was, much to my embarrassment, and an amused look on the stewardess's part. Her son came by once, she gushed about what a decent and 'noble' person I was, a 'fareeshta' (angel) sent by God. I was kind of feeling guilty about my ambivalent feelings.
Then she started to complain about her son. If he really loved his mother he would have come early to the airport to get good seats on the flight. If he loved his mother he would have taken my offer to change seats. How the son was always late from work and after returning to the house would go out with his wife. How she felt neglected. How her son gave her an meagre allowance and if she asked for money he would ask why before giving it to her, and yet 'wasted' money on the wife. This and that.
I don't know too much about her personal life, but having spoken to the son later while in line for the washroom, he worked terribly hard as a government clerk. He had saved enough for the Hajj and it was because of his mother they were all going. He himself would rather saved that money or spent it on other uses. They were six siblings but no one wanted to care for their mother, so as eldest son he took the responsibility.
The best was the parting shot when we exited at Dubai. The lady told me I was a good man and better than her own son. Now as I waited for my Toronto bound flight, I could not help pondering, I was kind to her for a few hours because I could, and because I would never have to be again. And her son is taking care of her, looking after her, taking her for Hajj, and yet she sees fit to complain about the little things of her son to perfect strangers. Or even his bad behaviour at times, which should be overlooked. Do people really not see their own? Why do we always take our own for granted, and why do some seniors take the superficial good behaviour of strangers and compare to their own caretakers? I have met many older folk who complain to my parents when we are visiting them about trivial matters, and yet we are there only for a few hours and can be on our good behaviour.
Tags: Kindness of Strangers Bangladesh Hajj
Friday, January 13, 2006
From The Starship Enterprise
Barry Devolin could not have chosen a funnier line to introduce himself. The situation was a political debate hosted by the Islamic Foundation. It included the Joe Volpe, the current Immigration minister from the Liberals and Joe Comartin from the NDP. Peter MacKay, the deputy leader of the Conservatives, was also supposed to be there. Instead, he could not make it, and sent his deputy, Barry Devolin.
And Mr. Devolin opened with "Hi. I bring greetings to you from my leader ..."
As soon as he said that, some people from the back started to snicker. Honestly, it was a very funny, extremely funny, way to introduce oneself.
"I bring greetings to you from my leader ..."
Someone from the back mouthed, "... leader Stephen Harper, Captain of the starship Enterprise, from the planet Zambooka!"
Actually, I am just being mean and having a laugh at his expense - he looked like a really decent guy and spoke quite well too, even though he had obviously been asked to do this at the last minute. He also reflected for a need of diversity, of a balance between security and civil liberties, and corruption in Ottawa. In all honesty, he brought salutations to us from Stephen Harper and Peter MacKay.
But still "I bring greetings to you from my leader ..." was just too funny to hear.
Links: (Toronto Star) Muslims `targeted', debate hears
Islamic Foundation: The venue of the debate.
Tags: Barry Devolin Canada
And Mr. Devolin opened with "Hi. I bring greetings to you from my leader ..."
As soon as he said that, some people from the back started to snicker. Honestly, it was a very funny, extremely funny, way to introduce oneself.
"I bring greetings to you from my leader ..."
Someone from the back mouthed, "... leader Stephen Harper, Captain of the starship Enterprise, from the planet Zambooka!"
Actually, I am just being mean and having a laugh at his expense - he looked like a really decent guy and spoke quite well too, even though he had obviously been asked to do this at the last minute. He also reflected for a need of diversity, of a balance between security and civil liberties, and corruption in Ottawa. In all honesty, he brought salutations to us from Stephen Harper and Peter MacKay.
But still "I bring greetings to you from my leader ..." was just too funny to hear.
Links: (Toronto Star) Muslims `targeted', debate hears
Islamic Foundation: The venue of the debate.
Tags: Barry Devolin Canada
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