Sunday, January 07, 2007

Belated Eid Mubarak

Honestly, some kids are walking advertisements for condoms. How can you, as a parent, visit someone’s house and let your kid run amok, and not care?

Our house is right next to the biggest mosque in Toronto, so on Eid day we have lots of visitors just dropping by after the prayers. One of them happens to be this family with the cutest kid ever – who also happens to be the Boy From Hell.

The kid, no older than 7, decides he was going to be Zidane, which is not bad, except that my 90-gallon aquarium was going to be Materazzi. Backing up, stroking his foot against the carpet like a bull, he charges to head butt the aquarium. I was just thankful to be there at the proper time at the proper place.

"Hey, don’t do that." I tell him.

"Why," He impishly asks me. And then, without warning, he runs at me. Crash!

Then he runs out to our balcony. Thanks to global warming it’s not full of snow as it should be, but instead I had my gym clothes on a stand, drying out. Hellboy decides it would be fun to drop my sweaty t-shirt on the aunty ringing our doorbell at that moment!

"Uff," I catch up with him. "Don’t do that."

"Why?" He asks again. And from below, the aunty, removing my T-shirt from her face, helpfully interjects, “oh beta, he’s just a kid.” Mind your own business, woman!

Then the boy arms his most powerful weapon.

"I am going to go downstairs and tell Mommy you beat me!" Liar! He starts to wail, with an evil grin on his face. And off he runs.

At that moment, my sister’s friend emerges from her room. She was talking on her cell. She finishes, and places the cell on a little table in the lobby. In a flash, the kid takes the cell in his hand and bends it to throw the phone down the stairs.

Hell hath truly no fury like a girl whose cellphone is about to be destroyed. Quicker than the eye could see, my sister’s friend had snatched the phone back, and then had the kid’s hands clasped together in a vice grip. She knelt down to face him.

"You!" In a stern voice she was looking straight at his eyes. I could almost imagine an evil 80s style Bollywood villain laughter in the background score. "You touch my phone again, and I will break your hands. Then I will work my way down and break both your legs. OK?"

The kid nods, his eyes wide.

"And if you even think of crying then I will punch your eyes out and you will never be able to cry again, OK?"

The kid nods again. No one had EVER scolded him before.

"Now go down straight to your mommy, and sit beside her until I TELL YOU TO MOVE, ok?"

She releases the boy, who meekly walks downstairs, all swagger gone, and remained seated beside his mother for the rest of their visit.

My sister’s friend turns to me and says, "Bhaiyya, some kids just need a verbal spanking."

Yes. It was my turn to nod at her.

Especially if their parents don't give them one. I go back to my room.

She called me 'bhaiyya'! *Sniff*

Eid Mubarak.


Anonymous said...

She's awesome whoever she is. I love her. There need to be PARENTS like her!

Anonymous said...

Wow!!!She would make a gr8 mommy someday, I hope she uses that to her kids though,:)
When I was a teenager, all the kids were *terrified* of me. I didn't want to stand any crap from any *kids from hell*. The worst thing was that they were encouraged by their parents and their parents were the kind not to teach their kids manners or *punish* them when need be. I try to show my daughter what is right and what is not. I would like her to behave in people's house so that those kids could behave in ours too(yeah, as if some do!). Am fast to tell a kid if he/she is not behaving in my place if their parents act as if they can't see them. Phewww,I have a lot to say and I don't want to fill up a whole page! :-)Btw, bhaiya means, she's not *interested* in you!!!! LOL sf

mezba said...

Ruby: Oh she's awesome alright. Now whenever we have to have Hellboy over I plan to have my sister invite that friend as well!

Sf: You have to start a blog. Even if it is one post a month. I can't stand parents who just patronize their kid's ridiculous behaviour.

Yes, I know I am not her type. Hence the "sniff" :-D Then again if I was interested in her, would have to join a line of like, 20 people, ahead of me. Not interested in that.

isheeta said...

Mezba, sweetiepie, if you don't go for her, I will! She sounds aswesome!

Aisha said...

My parents went to someone's house the other day. My parents were sitting there and saw the five year old son take a hammer and start hitting his one year old sister on the legs. Mymother jumped up and grabbed it and told him tha was wrong. (the mother was not in the room). he told my mom "Shut up. This is not your house." Then he went to the door and said "GET OUT". Unbelievable.

This sister will make a good mother one day :)

Suroor said...

Looks like bhaiya was intimidated by the little girl too?! So, you have reached that phase in your life that you are being called bhaiya! See? That’s why I like the sound of ‘chick’!

Amusing post as always, Mezba! I hate hell boys!

Maliha said...

hahaha Mezba that last line is classic.

Hell boys suck...I feel sorry for the moms, I really believe some kids are just born that way, no matter the upbringing(?) (just a theory i have).

Sf: start a!

Abu Sinan said...

I feel sorry for the kid, to a certain extent, but not for the parents.

99 times out of a 100 it is THEIR fault the child is like this, so why feel sorry for them?

Look, I know that it is hard to say no to kids. When I have to tell Sinan, my 18 month old boy no, it hurts. When I have to give him a scolding, it bothers me to see him cry.

Sometimes it is just plain cute. He has this thing now where if he gets told no he will throw himself down on the ground and cry, or stomp his feet walking away with this really cute grumpy look on his face.

But I know that I am doing it for HIS good as well as ours. Spoiled kids turn out to be spoiled adults and get themselves and the people around them into a a lot of heartache.

If you think this boy is bad now, wait until he brings home his pregnant girlfriend at age 16, in the new car his parents have bought him.

Better to teach them well young.

mezba said...

Isheeta: she has a line of like 20 in the list. Although if you do go for her, it might be "ladies first" policy ;-P

Aisha: A sad tale, probably a reflection of how the father behaves with the mother. Sad but true. Spare the rod and spoil the child is so true.

Suroor: Have I ever? Also the 'aapni' is more common than 'tumi'. Maaaan....

Maliha: This mom is really pathetic. I don't want to backbite but she should definitely invest in a cane. And use it. The kid is completely spoilt.

Abu Sinan: You don't know how wise you are. This kid's older brother is exactly of the nature you described. It just happened with the brother.

'liya said...

Ooh I almost missed this post!

In trying to let their kids live the good life, some parents give way too much...

It's not the children that are the problem. It's the parents. People shouldn't bring other people into the world if they can't control/discipline them.

mezba said...

Liya: In this case I would blame parents 100% They never discipline their kids. Sometimes I just want to give them a whack!

NAB said...

i have scolded way too many erratic kids in front of their siblings and parents. the latter either hate me or love me. but hey, at least it stops the former in their tracks.

i am so mean.

Aisha said...

What you said is actually dead on now that you mention it. The parents of the child are going through a divorce. The description of how he talked to my mother... makes me sad nwo that I think of it in that context.

mezba said...

Nowal: You are mean? No comment. I never argue with you.

Aisha: I am sorry to hear that. Too bad for the kids, but a woman must look after herself first.

Bengali Fob said...

Okay, that is like the most BOLLYWOODish thing that could happen! Too bad she said "bhaiyya".... Awwww

Seroiusly though, that girl is my hero!

Munazza said...

mine too! i wish i could do that to some kids i've seen, but i'm too much of a pussy to offend their parents :(