Do You Like Kids?

It was this article that got me thinking about one of my cousins. Let's call him Sumon.

Sumon got married in Bangladesh and soon moved to the States with his new wife. He had a great job, and for four years, they lived happily. However, they had no kids. As is usual, suggestions from everyone around was ever present.

"You should make this dua (prayer) and blow three times ..."

"Have faith in God."

"You should sleep in a East-West direction."

To his wife: "Have you made milk with nuts for him at night?" (some old Bengali wives' tales).

Then, in the fifth year of marriage - First son.
In the sixth year of marriage - Second son.
In the seventh year of marriage - Third son.
In the eighth year of marriage - First daughter.

As is custom for Bengalis, everyone has two names. The official name, that you place on your certificates and passports, and the nick name (daak naam) that has absolutely no relation to your proper name, used by family.

Sumon's nickname for his daughter was Eiti, a common Bengali name.

Now Eiti is ALSO how you end Bengali letters. It is the equivalent of 'Yours Truly', or 'Sincerely'. It's how you sign off. For whatever reason, for five years now since Eiti's birth, no more kids. Eiti indeed.

And now, here was this family on CNN with four times as many kids.

LITTLE ROCK, Arkansas (AP) -- Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again.

Saffiyah discusses the case here. I like this comment by aidan:

"good lord. I can't even take care of a fish tank"

Once I met this girl at an Iftar party. We got talking, and it turned out she was studying sociology. We were discussing the ageing population of Canada. She then asked me what I thought the optimal number of kids for a family was.

For some reason I misunderstood and thought she was asking what time it was.

"Ten," I had replied.

Needless to say there was an Eiti on the conversation.

Tax Those Programs

During my first job at an internship I was responsible for maintaining code at a small company. The company would accept a contract from a client to create a software application for a particular job. They would then outsource the contract (usually to India). Once the finished application came back from India, the company would contact their client, and this is where we would come in. Our job was get the software into production, and maintain it as the need arose.

It was a very frustrating job. The code shipped back would be full of errors, and be very badly written. It was easy to see why - they were made by some guys in Bangalore who had learnt the programming language (C, Java, etc) in 3-4 months in one of those 'quickie' courses given in India. Where a software engineer here in Canada would have spent 4 years in an university, learning not just languages but techniques, styles, conventions, all designed to help him program efficiently, quickly and easily, the guys in India knew none of those things. The returned code was hard to maintain, extremely hard to debug and almost impossible to change to meet future needs.

Nowadays things have changed. Companies contact India directly for outsourcing. The programmers in India have become smarter, more capable and successful. They are now proper IT graduates. Their main selling point is they can work for 40,000 rupees while a programmer here will work for 40,000 dollars. As an IT person, I have a personal fear of outsourcing.

I have a solution to this.

Do you know why we charge taxes on imported cars. Mazda dealers, for example, import their cars from Japan, and have to pay a tax to do so. GM, Honda, Toyota, which makes cars in Ontario, do not have to do so. This is because a car made outside Canada has contributed nothing to Canada during manufacture. If a Canadian buys that car, the money the car company makes benefits foreigners. That's why we charge a tax on imported items, to compensate the loss a domestic manufacturer bears when his product is not sold.

Similarly a software 'imported' from outside, say India, should be charged import duties. It should be treated just like a foreign product, for it is a product. If we make it hard (read: expensive) for contractors here to outsource software needs, they will have no choice but to hire domestic workers.

This won't affect the majority of our software that we buy from US (due to NAFTA) but all outsourcing will be affected. The Government of Canada must not embrace an outsourcing culture that has already seen manufacturing go exclusively to China, software increasingly departing to India, and leaving large numbers of skilled workers unemployed at home and with no choice but to try their skills elsewhere.

BBC: New muscles in the marketplace

Is Earthquake God's Wrath?

It was the early days of Hurricane Katrina and the images of poor black Americans in dire conditions filled the TV screens. At that time I ran into a very patriotic Iraqi friend of mine.

"This hurricane is from Allah." He said. "The Americans are destroying one of our cities. Now Allah is destroying theirs."

The first of his statements was not open to debate. All things, good or bad, ARE from God. But I argued with him about his second statement.

"One cannot presume to know why Allah does what He does." I said. "These things happen, and its not always a cause-and-effect morality system. You cannot say this is because of that."

He was not alone in blaming the hurricane on the sins of Americans. Alabama State Senator Hank Erwin said the damage done by Katrina was God's wrath on a sinful coast. I am so glad I did not take that position because today, as the earthquake in Pakistan's death toll crosses 20,000, I would like to ask my friend what was his explanation for this natural disaster.

The racists at Little Green Footballs did not even pause.

"Where's your God now?" Taunted one.

"We had a hurricane that killed 1000 people." Said a more mathematical one. "You had a tsunami with 200,000 dead and now an earthquake with 20,000. That's 2-1 for our God."

Ignoring the fact that both Muslims and Christians worship the same God of Abraham, natural disasters are now being turned into a one-upmanGodship .

"If God loves a servant, he sends tribulation upon him," so goes a Hadith in Islam. The saying has always pointed to the parable of Job in the Bible (Ayub in Islam - peace be upon him) who suffered through decades of disease but kept his faith in God. In Islam those who die in a natural calamity are accorded the status of martyrs. I am told Christianity has something similar. For those left behind, a tragedy of this scope is a reminder of God's power and our own mortality.

If you still believe disasters are due to our sins, look at these natural calamities.
- For the first 300 years after Jesus, any Christian in the Roman Empire was subject to persecution.
- Moses' (Musa in Islam - peace be upon him) people were bound in slavery for decades.
- Severe draught afflicting the Muslim empire during Omar (R) 's time.
- and many more (trials and hardships of Joseph (Yusuf), Jacob (Yaqub), Jonah (Yunus) and so on).

As we can see, earthquakes, tsunamis and the like affected those before us, the best of us. And now it affects us. And it will affect those after us. If God is indeed sending a tribulation on those He loves, then He must love both the American Christians and the Pakistani Muslims, as we know He does.

Americans Need Debate

I just finished watching a video of the speech Bush gave to the National Endowment for Democracy. His speech, which recycled his older arguments for the war in Iraq, lacked any particular details on how he was going to exit Iraq, which I think has become his main bogeyman. But as I watched him, and reflected on the US political system, I realized one thing.

Americans don't have any of the good old fashion debate that we in Canada and other Parliamentary-style governments such as Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, India, Bangladesh enjoy have. Consider this:

Last year four RCMP officers (they are equivalent of FBI in Canada) got shot by a madman who later killed himself. Later it was discovered the killer was supposed to be in jail but released by a weak justice system. The families are calling for tougher sentences for drug-related offences and a new national drug strategy.

Two days ago, Mr. Martin told the House of Commons that he had already had a lengthy meeting with the families of the victims. But what he failed to mention was that this was long time ago, not recently when they were in Ottawa, as his statement implied.

The Opposition immediately crucified him.

Yesterday, the Conservative Party took the matter to Question Period, calling on Mr. Martin to apologize.

"I wonder why the Prime Minister would mislead the families and mislead the House in this fashion?" Conservative Leader Stephen Harper said.

Conservative MP Rona Ambrose called for government action on the families' demands.

"The families were very hurt by the Prime Minister's words. Will the Prime Minister apologize to the families?" she asked.

They all said Paul Martin was accused yesterday of misleading Parliament after saying he had "long discussions" with the families of the four RCMP officers who died at the hands of James Roszko near Mayerthorpe, Alta., this year.

Prime Minister Paul Martin was then forced to apologize.

Remember our sponsorship scandal? A bunch of the government was found to have been skimming tax money. Paul Martin was forced to give an address to the nation, essentially asking them to have faith in him as he got to the bottom of the mess.

This is what leader of the Opposition Stephen Harper said in reply.

"My fellow Canadians.

We have all just witnessed a sad spectacle -- a prime minister so burdened with corruption in his own party that he is unable to do his job and lead the country, a party leader playing for time, begging for another chance.

This is not how a prime minister should act."

Or let's go to Britain. There in the House the Opposition is practically sitting 10 feet away from the Prime Minister.

"We have to raise our demands. We don't want Bush out of the Whitehouse, we want Bush in prison with Blair and all the other war criminals who have brought us to this pass," said George Galloway, an opposition MP to the house.

When was the last time the President of USA was involved in such a debate. I was watching CNN during last year's US Presidential elections, and this is what Aaron Brown said:

"John Kerry will have to be careful in criticizing the President because Americans don't like a direct criticism of their President."

Excuse me, but how else are you supposed to tell the leader of the free world that he is wrong if not by criticizing him. He is the one who is calling all the shots and the place where the buck stops. All Senate, Congress decisions ultimately come to him for a veto.

As I watched the first debate then I realized why Bush bristled whenever Kerry got close to a criticism. He was not used to it.

Where is the criticism of Bush when he gave a false statement in a State of the Union speech? Where is the criticism of Bush when he took his nation to war based on false premises? Where is the criticism of Bush when he referred to Americans in New Orleans as "people in that part of the world"?

Sure, people ARE criticizing him, even some politicians, but Bush does not have to face them in a legislative setting. He exists in the White House, comes to the lawn for a few press conferences (the lowest number so far of any President), takes a few questions, and leaves. He does not have to argue his point in a regular debate as do
our leaders.

This can lead a leadership that exists within a vacuum, as Jon Stewart said recently on an Oprah show. Link is here [a web page containing a video file].

In his words, "Washington has a loss of perspective and you lose respect for the truth It becomes a pursuit of power rather than pursuit of the truth."

Iftar on 2nd Ramadan

Iftar 2^nd day of Ramadan - Picture 1


Iftar 2^nd day of Ramadan - Picture 2

Iftar refers to the evening fast-breaking meal during the Islamic month of Ramadan. We get up early in the morning before dawn and eat a meal called Suhur. The whole day is then spent fasting, till sunset, when Iftar is taken.

Fasting reminds one of the plight of the genuinely hungry. It also teaches us about will power, as we are encouraged to break all bad habits for one month.

Fasting is also mentioned in the Bible. Surprisingly the US Marines also has a page on Ramadan.

In the pictures above I brought home some samosa and pakoda from a nearby Indian restaurant. Needless to say one of their busiest times is during Ramadan. The yellow sweets are called laddoos. Dates are also present, and are traditionally the item used to break the fast, followed by water or some sherbet (fruit drink). Since we are North Americans we also have some fast food (chicken fingers).

Cellphones

I have never been a part of the cellphone brigade.

Recently, I had to order a new cellphone to replace my older one. The only reason I chose to do so was because the older one would suddenly stop working.

Our cellphone company has recently decided to use voice-activated technology. I preferred the older touch-tone system. Now your co-workers will be mystified as you dial a number, wait for sometime, and then start sprouting excerpts like "English", "Toronto", "Cellphones", "New Phones", "You moronic goobstopper just get me to a live real person."

The last comment was met with, "I am sorry but I could not pick that. Your comment has been stored and will be analyzed later to help us improve our system."

Okay.

Then Sue came online. Well she was probably Suneeta but we will let that go. She had a nice voice.

"How can I help you, sir?"

"Well, I need to order a new phone. The older one is not working properly."

"Certainly, sir. May I ask what do you do mostly with your phone?"

At the point I was a bit puzzled.

"Um, talk. You know, to other people."

"Oh no, sir. I mean do you play games, play MP3 music, surf the net, capture photographs, text message or record videos? We also have newer devices that let you take dictation, as well as use it as an USB storage device."

Whoa.

It's amazing what one could get in a cellphone today. After talking with Suneeta Sue I went to their website to check out the phones. They even have $3000 phones with ALL those features in one.

It wasn't too long ago I took my first phone. 6 years ago, when I bought my first car. I needed it in case the car broke down on me, as it was a very old car. At that time the phone was the latest, and it was huge, with only two features, 1) excellent network capability anywhere and 2) Twelve ringtones. I could talk from almost anywhere. Nowadays cellphones are crammed with the latest gizmos yet many don't seem to work in basements with wafer-thin walls. And cellphone companies use unfair practices to lock you into using their product for years.

I just have one question though.

It took decades for governments to respond to early warnings about tobacco, asbestos and radiation. Cellphones are a relatively new technology that is growing forward in quantum leaps. Should we have similar concerns about these popular devices? Has anyone figured out what the effects of having 1 gigabyte of data stored near the bottom of your body with constant wireless signals coming to and from it? With the recent introduction of cellphone for kids who have lower immune resistance to diseases, who is doing the research? Does it bother or alarm you that the only entities conducting studies into harmful effects of cellphone technology are cellphone companies themselves?

Muslim Comedians

There was a big MuslimFest in Mississauga recently, and their biggest draw was the comedy show. Unfortunately, though we took on other stuff from the festival, the comedy show was sold out. Few months back I had attended another Muslim comedy night at Yuk Yuk's, called Allah Made Me Funny. I had a hard time sleeping that night as my stomach was still aching from too much laughing.

There is this guy. He plays off his Taliban-style looks and deadpans, "Everywhere I go people look at me as if I am responsible for 9/11. I had nothing to do with 9/11 ... 7/11 maybe, but not 9/11."

There were a lot of families at these events, mainly because it was 'Muslim' comedy. That meant no fart, sex, blonde jokes, and no expletives. Which implied the lines had to be really funny to be effective.

I really liked the British girl, Shazia Mirza.

"My name is Shazia Mirza. At least that's what it says on my pilot's licence."

"I went to Mecca. In front of the holy black stone, where you repent your sins, someone pinched my bum ... Clearly, my prayers had been answered."

There was Preacher Moss, a black Muslim convert.

"When I was young and they caught a criminal I would pray it wasn't a black person." He says honestly. "And now when they catch a terrorist I pray it's not a Muslim. And then came the DC sniper!!! A black AND a Muslim!!! I was like, whaaaaat!"

Comedy had a long history in Muslim times before disappearing until recently. It started with the Messenger of God himself. Once an old pious lady came to him and asked him if she was going to heaven after death. With a straight face he told her that no old women were going to heaven.

The Prophet said to those nearby: "Tell her that no woman goes into heaven as an old woman." He then read the Quranic verses: "We shall have brought them into being in a life renewed ... " (56: 35-36), meaning heaven-goers were going to heaven as they were in their prime.

There there was Mullah Nasiruddin, a famous character of folklore in the ancient Muslim world.

A friend asked the Mullah how old he was.

Forty, he replied.

But you said the same thing last year and the year before that, the friend objected.

Yes, The Mullah replied, A true Muslim always stands by what he said!

And many more.

Why was there a dearth of Muslim comic until recently?

I think it is because coloniasm and imperialism. Hear me out!

Until the 17th century most Muslims were in Muslim lands and masters of their own destiny. Suddenly much of that was under Christian forces. Therefore it became an us-versus-them attitude and no one made fun of themselves any more. After the colonies became free, the departing colonists installed their own puppet dictators who stifled freedom of speech. So in many countries these people still cannot say what they want.

So no matter that much Muslim comedians are now coming from Muslims in the West, who enjoy freedom of speech, religion, dress etc. It is also now catching up in Bangladesh, India, Indonesia and many African countries. Long may it continue.

The Grass On The Other Side

When I was a university student I was the editor of the campus newspaper The Underground. We were a leftist bunch, forever upset at the provincial government for shortchanging students and higher tuition fees, the federal government for cutting the arts budget, for not sending the army to help the poor farmers of Nicaragua, the university for cancelling several research projects, and so on. Now that I am working and earning, and a bit less idealistic, I am still upset at the government but for different reasons. Why are they wasting so much tax payers' money on useless stuff like ballet and why are students not paying their own tuition? Why is our money wasted in Darfur? Screw them, I want to keep more of my own money! The classic left-to-right conversion.

Ofcourse living in Toronto means many US cities are close by for vacationing. Whenever I would visit a cousin in Chicago, I would marvel at their transport system. Reversible highways! The north becomes south bound during opposite rush hour. What a novel concept! Here in Toronto, stuck in coma-inducing rush hour, I would think about that. Or when forced to use the subway, I would imagine the excellent connectivity of the New York City Transit.

Recently a friend of mine visited from the States. Now he lives somewhere south of Dallas, Texas, in a small village. He must be the only brown guy in the county, and works as a system administrator. He tells me its like Duke of Hazzards country down there, and being a Muslim there is as common as snow in Sahara. He has been living there since graduation, for about three years now.

And boy was he impressed with Toronto.

"Your subway system is so neat!" He gushed. I nearly choked on my shwarma.

"Ours? As in Toronto's?"

"Oh ya! I was in New York and they had piss on the floor of the trains. And were we warned to avoid Penn station after 9! And your streets feel so - safe!"

Now that part I can testify to. Many a time, after returning from a night out on the west end of the city, I have gotten lost there. After driving around a while, I would hit the highway and be back on the road. No matter how late, we never felt unsafe.

Even once in Montreal, we reached there around 11 pm. After, um, seeing the sights on Rue Catherine, the entertainment district, we got lost on returning to our car. A bit of walking around and we found it again. 2 am in the morning in a strange city and we never felt unsafe.

Hah! While going to Chicago for the first time, we stepped off the I-55 to get some gas. And I called my cousin's husband to tell him that. He nearly had a heart attack, and yelled at me to get back on the highway. Later we found out we had alighted on Chicago's famous South Side. So safe, I can understand.

"And the streets are so clean." My friend was going on. "The parks are really nice to sit around, and the litter on the roads are invisible."

Again I was like, "Toronto?" I never noticed the lack of litter. I drive downtown Spadina too. But my friend showed me a few pictures of him while in NYC, Chicago and Houston. He was like, there's good areas of the town, and bad areas. Here you don't see that too much. I mumbled something or the other about our tax dollars going to a useless welfare system to artificially lessen the class gap.

But he wasn't finished.

"And your women! The women of Toronto are the best looking bunch of any city I have been to!"

Now this time, in addition to my dinner just falling to the floor in shock, so too did my jaw.

"Toronto? Women! You must be nuts. Have you been to Montreal?" He confessed he hadn't. My French friends from college had a joke. "Why are all Montreal girls so good looking? 'Coz we have a rule here. If you are sixteen and you are ugly looking, we send you to - Toronto!"

"Seriously, you must be nuts. I mean ya, some women here look after themselves, but seriously, you must be nuts."

"No way man. There so much variety here. In Texas where I am, [switch on offensive mode] I am used to like ... farm girls ... who are like ... big." Naturally he may have been exaggerating. I mean Jessica Simpson seemed all right by me. "And not to mention the diversity of restaurants in Toronto. And not to forget many of them are halal! Oh don't even get me started on Toronto."

No, he wasn't being polite. I could only shake my head. Toronto? Maybe, the grass is greener always, on the other side.

Ramadan News

This situation is so funny.

1st News.

First, a little background.

The Islamic calendar is based on the moon, as is the Jewish calendar. Every 29th day of the lunar month, people go and look for the new moon. If it is sighted, then the next day is the first day of the next month, else the next day is the 30th day of this month, following which the next month starts. Nowadays due to technology the positions of the moon can be calculated and we have a reasonable prediction.

So all over the Muslim world, people would wait to see if Ramadan, the holiest month for Muslims, would start on Tuesday Oct 4 or Wednesday Oct 5. But wait!

There is a solar eclipse! On the 29th day of the month!

Suddenly some scholars are saying because the solar eclipse means the moon will come into 'view' in front of the sun, this means the 'new moon' is 'sighted' and so Ramadan for sure begins the next day. The others say this does not count, and a new moon has to be sighted the proper way (i.e. at night).

In either case, the final say lies with the government, who will decide. And in non Muslim countries like Canada, US, it means the bigger mosques in cities.

2nd news.

Apparently there's an October surprise by - um - God.

For the first time in 33 years, Jews and Muslims will mark the start of their most sacred seasons on the same day this week. Rosh Hashana -- the Jewish New Year that begins the 10-day period known as the Days of Awe -- and the monthlong Islamic fast of Ramadan fall on Tuesday.

What's more, the feast of St. Francis of Assisi, a relatively minor Christian holiday mostly commemorated by Roman Catholics, also will be celebrated that day.

At a time when Jews and Muslims around the globe observe their religious traditions, locally and nationally members of all three world religions are participating in interfaith activities that highlight their similarities and growing closeness.

You know what this means right? All of a sudden on the same day most Jews, Muslims, and some Catholics will be hungry during the morning. Hopefully something will be done about poverty and world hunger.

Vatican Flexes Muscle

On driving to work I heard on the radio that the Catholic bishops will gather in Rome this weekend to consider refusing communion to politicians who pass laws that violate church doctrine. This potentially involves Canada as Prime Minister Paul Martin is a Catholic who has just passed same sex marriage laws across Canada.

From 580 CFRA, "Canadian bishops say the issue will be raised as part of a larger discussion on the worthiness of Catholics who present themselves for the sacrament".

This is a very dangerous situation. Before I continue let me clarify my stance of homosexuality. My views are coloured by my religion. And Islam has unequivocally banned homosexual relations, just like Christianity and Judaism. Many so-called liberal Christians and Jews say their religion has no such law. Not knowing that much details of the religions I cannot clarify, but in Islam it is said the people of Lut (Lot in the Bible) were punished because they practiced same sex relations. The Qur'an chapter 26 verse 165 also spells out what God thinks of gay people.

Therefore I think gay people are wrong. But that does not mean I start burning them at stake or spraying homophobic graffiti. Allah has also said not to transgress in our actions and live peacefully with those whom we disagree on articles of faith.

"He who hurts a dhimmi (minority) hurts me, and he who hurts me hurts and annoys Allah," says a hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

"O mankind, we created you from a single pair of a male and female and made you into tribes and nations that you may know one another (not that you may despise one another). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is he who is most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well aware of all things."
-- The Qur'an (49:13)

Not that this hasn't stopped persecution of gays in some Muslim/non-Muslim countries.

Now we come to the Vatican. From my understanding of Catholicism, communion in the church signifies a physical union with body and blood of Jesus (called Isa in Islam - peace be upon him). This service, performed repeatedly, identifies the worshipper as Catholic and deserving of God's grace in the hereafter. Denial of such a service means the person is barred from the church and cannot be guaranteed of heaven. More details here.

Now I may not agree with another mortal man telling me my spiritual eternity is doomed, but many Catholics do. And many important politicians in positions of power, such as our Catholic prime minister, also believe so.

Even though I do not agree with same sex marriage, I believe it is Canada and Canada's business only as to what we pass as laws in our country. And those laws should also be secular and not based or coloured by any religion. If the Parliament of Canada chose to pass same sex marriage, it is our business and not the Vatican's. And if you say the Vatican is only doing what is in its power to promote its church's teachings, consider this.

At one time in Canada a Protestant and Catholic could not marry (just like it is in some parts of Ireland). And any politician who tried to break this law was threatened by the Vatican much in the same way proponents of same sex marriage are being threatened today. And to those who say the Church is infallible let's not forget Galileo.

If today the Church can dictate same sex marriage, what will they dictate tomorrow. And opponents of same sex marriage have to bring scientific proof as to why it is not valid, other than saying "God does not will it." Something like linking AIDS and same sex.

Kensington Market

Toronto is the one of the most multicultural city in the world, and the best way to appreciate diversity of the city is by walking through its hodge-podge of neighbourhoods. One such place is the Kensington Market, quite near my workplace.


Kensington Market Entrance From Spadina

Its location is a contradiction in itself. Situated right next to Chinatown, which itself is located beside the fifth most prestigious university in North America (think French academics and Starbucks and latte coffee), and bordered by Little Italy, Kensington Market contains some of the best local produce and meat shops in Toronto.


Main Street Of The Market

Besides its never dull. With Ramadan coming (fasting for us Muslims), I cajoled my colleagues to going for lunch at the market. And with a nice day, it does not take much incentive. These are a sample of the stores on the main street (the names are what we call them).

1. Jamaican patty lady store (the ladies are really Ethiopians pretending to be Jamaicans), patties for 99c.
   
2. The Falafel place - a Lebanese store with greetings in Hebrew, Arabic and English printed on the door. Falafel used to be 2 bucks but is now 2.15. Guy claims it's because of gas prices.
   
3. This place that looks like it sells dope. Called Roach something. Probably is above board but one of the guys said the 70s could have been a different story.
   
4. A store selling Texas style meat (ribs, tongues, what not, think grill meat), for some reason called European Meats.
   
5. A fish store that really is fishy. My buddy bought some red snapper today and later we came and found out the guy cheated him on the weights (we have all sort of instruments at my workplace).
   
6. A cheese place (French - what else?) that sells one type of cheese called 'Stinky cheese'. It really reeks! But tastes surprisingly good however.
   
7. An army surplus store where you can buy army costumes for cheap if you are in a play. Coz otherwise I don't think its too much of a good idea to go walking around on the street dressed like a Chilean dictator.
   
8. Loblaws. The last one I heard was extremely unpopular with other market residents who felt it would spoil the atmosphere.
   

And the market is never short of weird people. There's this guy we call black Jesus. Ever seen the traditional picture of Jesus? White guy, red beard, eyes shut, blue robe, stick in hand, shepherd-like? Now change the white to black and you got it. This guy stands at one corner at noon and sings Christian hymns for pedestrians.

Then there's the DVD guy. He sets up a rack and sells pirated DVDs, always very quick to move away whenever the police comes. He really is quick, once I saw him pack and bike away in less than 2 minutes. I don't really know why he doesn't set up ware at Chinatown, just on the next block.

Today one hobo cornered him, picked up a DVD and challenged him, "What if I steal this from you, just as you steal from the movie producers?"

Then he saw us nearby and called out to us, "You buy from this man, you agents of the serpent! I should just clobber you with this-" He pointed to a can of baked beans in his hand. Ofcourse he did not know that my office guys are ALL ex-army (except me and another guy). One of them just walked up to him. No word, just walked up to him. The Baked-Bean Guy took one look and fled.


Rickshaws In The Market

I don't know why these rickshaws are here, but they are in front of a FRENCH store. Having been to India, Bangladesh and Thailand myself I can tell you that the left most one looks like it's from Calcutta, the middle one is Dhaka, and last one could be from Bangkok.

Even the rickshaw exhibit is multicultural.

Brampton

With the remnants of hurricane Rita hitting Toronto, the weekend is shaping up to be a lousy one. Rain, rain and more rain. In the middle of it today (Sunday) there was a patch of sunshine just enough for me to grill some meat on the bbq.

Last (Saturday) night had a housewarming party in Brampton. One of the first families from our UAE batch to settle here in Toronto has recently moved to Brampton, around 50 kms away, and all were invited.

The great thing about Bengali family parties is you pretty much know what's going to happen. If you know the people you will have a good time. The uncles will sit around solving the world's problems, while the Aunties talk about who knows what ('janen bhabi, onar meyta na...'). The young people do pretty much what young people all over the world do.

Discuss Desperate Housewives.

It's amazing how that show has become the show to watch. I watched a couple of episodes but did not find any reason to continue watching. Nothing ahamori, as Bengalis say. I would rather watch half an hour of Raymond. Too bad Star Trek TNG does not run anymore.

There was also some NRBs (a Newly Returned (from) Bangladesh) at the party. Having gone through that stage myself last winter this was how it worked. Within your peers you find all sort of ways to put down your time in Bangladesh (after all it's hot, dusty, crowded, polluted, ..., etc.) - never mind that you have a good (no great) time over there, with no worries and being pampered by long lost relatives and waited upon hand and foot - it's just coooool to diss Bangladesh - don't ask me why I just follow the trends not make them.

"The ONLY thing I enjoyed most was the cheap DVDs. Imagine, the whole Godfather collection, for less than 2 bucks." That was me, back in January.

Then an uncle would step in, and claim all sort of ways of what Bangladesh has that Canada does not (never mind that he has never stepped foot back home in 30 years). You of course, have to balance the line of being a bhodro chele (well mannered young man) or standing up for your beliefs.

Thankfully the hostess of the party announces an end to all that by saying, "Ashen shobai, ektu dal bhat niye jaan (Dinner is served [in more verbose terms])".

And if it's one thing amongst Bangladeshis, come dinner time, all is moot.

"Ah aunty ei kabab ta ki shundor." (This kebab looks so good)

Mmm..Biryani.

The Boyfriend Did It - Not

Recently I have been wondering if society here in Toronto views couples differently if they are married. With recent passing of gay marriage laws in Canada, and many predicting the institution of marriage is dead and discarded with, I think many here feel differently.

Remember Laci Peterson?

She was a wife and an expecting mother who unexpectedly went missing. Her husband and family appealed to the police and public for help. At first, no one suspected the husband, Scott Peterson. Laci's body was later found floating on the river.

Then, few months later, Scott Peterson was charged, tried and convicted for the murder of his wife.

Cut to Toronto.

Missing: Alicia Ross. Reported By: Her boyfriend of a few months, who called the police the next morning of her disappearance.

And then, Sean Hine, the boyfriend, then went through double hell.

The Toronto Sun immediately pinned the maximum suspicion on him. They published the fact that he was arrested once for drunk driving. They interviewed neighbours and friends of Ross who did not 'like' him. The Sun's journalistic standards were low to begin with, but they managed to plough even deeper. The police labelled him a 'person of interest'. He was reported by his father to be under major stress. Even the Star wasn't above to exploring their relationship's status.

Then came the clincher. Yesterday, five week's after her disappearance, Alicia Ross's next door neighbour Daniel Sylvester, turned himself in and told the police where he had dumped the body. He was charged with second degree murder.

It seems now the boyfriend had nothing to do with it at all.

What struck me was how quickly a boyfriend was placed under suspicion, yet a husband was offered the greatest sympathy. One of female friends from university, when I was telling her about the case when it first broke, had immediately placed her suspicion on the boyfriend.

"You will see he has something to do with it." She was confident.

"Why?" I had asked.

"Well.... " She didn't know, but she was sure. That attitude was very common.

I think society still views a couple differently if they are married. In my opinion, inspite of all the liberal attitudes Canadians have, a husband is still expected to be there for his wife, while a boyfriend is expected to be a sleaze. If he is not, then great. That seems to be the attitude.

It will be interesting to hear what other people think of this.

Pressing The Panic Button

It was a beautiful Sunday morning, with the sun shining early and the temperature an uncharacteristic (for September in Toronto) 28 degrees Celcius. I therefore made an effort to get up early (it is a Sunday after all) and clean the car.

After two hours of washing, waxing and applying all the cleaners in the garage to the car, it looked great. Satisfied with a job well done, I went upstairs and left the car in the sun to dry out the cleaning fluids.

As I watched the neighborhood from the balcony above, with the cat for company, I noticed the Neighborhood Pest (NP) come out. NP is an 8 year old, scrawny, short kid with coarse dark hair and eyes that scream 'I am going to do something irritating and I am a kid so you can't touch me'. Whenever I see him he is upto something ... evil. And his mother would be nearby, pretending to be keeping an eye out on him, but just plain relaxing on her porch.

Upon seeing a newly waxed and shiny car, NP's eyes lit up. Aha! And there was no one around the property to boot! Too bad he did not look up at the balcony.

NP took a few steps back from the car. Then, suddenly, with an energy burst, he ran towards the car and planted his hands splat! on the trunk. He then stepped back to watch the results. A hazy outmark of a couple of hands appeared amidst the shine.

His mother continued to watch NP with an uninterested look. And I was on the balcony, fuming. What sort of a mother was this? Does she not realize this kid will one day get beaten up in high school with this sort of behaviour? And I just fr***ing waxed the car!

NP repeated his act a few times. I decided to put a stop to this. A plan had formed in my mind. I reached for my weapon. The panic button of my keyfob.


The Keyfob with the (Red) Panic Button

Now anyone who owns a 2005 Altima will tell you how LOUD the panic button is. At the exact moment NP hit the car, I hit the button (playing all those Playstation games helped).

Oh. My. God.

The kid (no longer an NP) jumped up, and back, by about six feet. I had stopped the sound in the meanwhile. Tentatively, the kid reached out and touched the car gingerly. And I pressed again.

Oh. My. God.

The kid turned around and disappeared towards his mom.

Meanwhile I was rolling in the floor laughing at my cruelty. He would never touch MY CAR again.

After about 5 minutes, I began to feel a little guilty. NP was just a kid after all. It was his mom I should be angry at. But what could I do? I had to defend my 2 hours of labour.

I decided to go down and have a look at his handprints. I walked towards the car, and crouched down to look at some scratches near the number plate.

Meanwhile, unbeknown to me, my keyfob was still in my jeans pocket, along with some loose change. As I bent down, one of the coins must have jammed against the keyfob, and then against the panic button.

Oh. My. God.

Sex In The City of ... Dhaka ?!!

Regarding my post on live-in relationships.

It seems the Daily Star of Bangladesh has let the genie out of the bottle and published an article about this 'taboo' topic. The link is here. It's a Bangladeshi newspaper website so you have to excuse the fact that some images don't load and layout maybe a bit screwed up.

One thing you will note from the article is that the guys are all about how important is sex to the relationship. I hope the Star interviewed the same guys after they 'did' it. Maybe the guys were just talking in front of their girl friends, hoping to get some. If there is one universal constant in guys, its that we all want some.

“The physical aspect of a relationship is very important," says Himel, a 23-year-old university student, "If you love someone and get physically involved with them, it's fine. It's different if you do it just because of the physical factor, however..." Himel, who has been sexually active since the age of 15, believes sex is a natural part of a romantic relationship.

And since when is a 15 year old pervert a benchmark of Bangladeshi youth. This dude probably spied his maid servant from peepholes.

Zarif, also 23, however, does not give sex as much importance. "It would be better if you can avoid taking it to the final level," he says. He does not have a problem with other people doing it, but he himself would probably not go all the way before marriage, he says. Zarif, however, does not have any reservations about his partner having any previous sexual encounters. "I would just like to know about it," he says.

Now a voyeur. Most people would prefer the don't ask don't tell policy.

Many men, though, exploit women, some honestly, others with false promises. Men more than women indulge in sex simply for pleasure and often move on, while most women usually have expectations of such an intense relationship actually going somewhere. They can say no, but sometimes they do not, whether for fear of losing their loved one or because they foster false hopes of the romance actually leading to marriage at some point.

I have seen this behaviour before. It's called 'guy' behaviour. Good to know Bangladesh university campuses teach the latest.

Then there is the 'Professor'.

But the phenomenon is still very present in our society today, says Prof Ahmed. He refers to a scale of intensity in physical relationships, which range from "petting" and "fondling" to "genital touch" and intercourse. Studies show that 100 percent of couples engage in petting, 80 percent in fondling, and about 30 percent go for sexual intercourse.

I would like more about this Professor and his studies. How do you conduct that study? Where did you get these figures of 100 percent petting? A HUNDRED percent? Alas, the Star provides no clues. And 'petting'? Mr Ahmed, you are not at the zoo. And who actually thought of the studies in the first place? Gee, what to do today, oh I know, see how many of my students are petting!

Ali, a first year university student, admits that he would not marry a girl he himself had had sex with, if that were to happen. "I wouldn't be able to trust a girl who would have sex with me before marriage," he says. "I might be bad for having done it myself, but I wouldn't marry someone who was also bad."

This is what you call a hypocrite. A do-as-I-say-not-as-I-do 'values' guy.

The Star mentions this.

Unfortunately, not all STDs are preventable by using a condom. Sometimes, only abstinence is the way to protect yourself.

This is something that those HBO movies mentioned at the beginning of the article fail to articulate.

Product Placement - Top 5

With great trepidation, and aware of the knowledge that praising an object is the best way to cause it to malfunction, I am going to make a list of purchases that I am happy with. This is not a list of 'best deals' I got, but a list of items that I have spent some money on, and those things have done exactly what I expected them to do, do it well, without any problems, and do not take much effort to maintain.

Mezba's Top 5

1. My Sony MiniDisc (MD) MP3 player.
   
   I use it during my gym workouts, walks, while mowing the lawn, and generally many physically demanding situations. I used it on my old car with the adaptor. It's the best.
   



2. Kodak East Share Digital Camera and accessories.
   
   We brown people are generally not white (hence the term brown). Fair and Lovely and other 'whitening' products make a fortune in Asia. I never understand why white people want to tan themselves silly. You want my (ahem) tanned skin? If only we could exchange skins!
   
   Why this diatribe? This Kodak camera takes the best pictures - especially outdoors. It beats far more expensive digital camera with German sounding brand lenses. And it even turns brown people into beige - very good for showing off later.
   
   You don't have to say, "Ya, that's me in front of the White House - I'm the dark spot there."
   



3. Lagaan/Dil Chahta Hai DVD.
   
   One is an Oscar nominated movie about cricket. The other is a brilliant coming of age movie starring one of my favorite actresses (Priety Zinta). I saw it with 3 close friends during our final year of college - thus the parting and reunion of friendship portrayed in the movie had special significance for all of us.
   



4. Gravel vacuum.
   
   I have a 65 gallon aquarium (that's the bigger one). Cleaning it (even though once a month) used to be a chore. Especially water changes, when I would have to drain ¹/₃rd the water. Jug in water, fill jug, pour water in bucket, repeat. 100 times. The gravel vacuum made life so much easier. Put in water, shake, stand back. And it was on sale for only 3 bucks.
   



5. This t-shirt.
   
   I just love this one. It fits me so well. Perfect.
   

Why make this list. Because I want to talk about something mundane for a change. Everyday life is taken for granted so much, sometimes it's good to pause and chill out for a while.

Of Live-in relationships

Went to watch Salaam Namaste last night. What a delightful movie! And I have never seen Albion so packed! At first we thought one of the stars from the Toronto Film Festival was there, it was that crowded and chaotic. We had pre-purchased our tickets and the seating was by ticket number, so had no trouble getting in.

This movie is about a live-in relationship. This is a 'taboo' topic in India (and Bollywood) so the movie can be said to push the envelope. Often, however, such movies go to one extreme in an effort to be controversial and lose the plot. Thankfully Salaam Namaste realized its prime duty was to entertain, and that it did!

It's good that movies such as these are coming out. Even amongst Muslim countries such as Bangladesh, let alone India, it seems sex before marriage is becoming quite common, for some reason, in many circles. Does it have anything to do with women (and men) putting off marriage till later? Abstinence, good religious values, and other morals are becoming rarer. Its better we talk about it, and discuss it rationally, including why it happens, what are the benefits and pitfalls of it, and what is consistent with our values and outlook on life, rather than trying to bury our head in the sand and pretend it does not exist.

Salaam Namaste manages to hold your interest for the duration of the movie, and gives much food for thought for later. The songs are well choreographed, Melbourne looks smashing - all in all, worth the 8 bucks we paid for the ticket.

UPDATE! Oops, I forgot to mention the best line of the movie:

"When in Rome ... do the Romans!"

Sharia In Canada

I went for a walk to Queen's Park (Ontario government legislature building) during lunch hour today. There was a rally there, held to protest the arrival of Sharia Law in Canada. A counter protest, defending the Sharia, was also supposed to be held, but I could not find it. I attended the rally for 10-15 minutes, heard a couple of speakers and then left. Below are my comments, observations and opinions of the whole affair.

The word Sharia refers to laws and regulations derived from the Quran (holy book of Muslims) or Sunnah (practice of God's messengers). Now why is this religion-based arbitration coming to Canada? As Christians and Jews can already refer civil and marital disputes to be settled under religious law, former Ontario Attorney General Marion Boyd recommended this be extended to Muslims as well.

Now I have a couple of issues with this. First, why restrict it to Muslims, Christians and Jews? Why not extend it to Sikhs, Jains, Wiccans, and anyone who can claim their religion has a set of laws for civil and marital issues? Second, if you oppose religious laws in a secular country, again why restrict your opposition to the Sharia? Why not also oppose religious arbitration from all religions?

There are people who think that Islamic law is ancient, out-of-date and has no place in a modern society. There are no problems with Christians and Jews because 'their' laws are modern and in synch with our society.

I beg to differ. The problems are not religious laws. The problem is with interpretation, and the judges.

It is this difference in interpreting the laws and holy books that, for example, has no problem with most Christians accepting blood transfusions or donating blood, but prevents Jehovah's Witnesses Christians from doing the same. It is this differences in interpreting the laws that enables some Catholics to spank their children as they see fit while others hold it as child abuse. Similarly, there are different interpretations of Islamic law. The same statement in the Quran can lead to two different verdicts, or fatwas.

As to problem with the judges, well, they are the ones going to do the interpreting. Most laws usually deal with punishment to the criminal and says nothing about gender, ethnicity, race, etc. A street bum holds a child and sexually assaults him. The judge jails the man. A priest sexually assaults a child. The judge secretly transfers him to another parrish. Fault of the Christian laws, or of the judge? Similarly, when a Muslim judge punishes a woman adulterer and yet lets the man go free, its the judge's fault, not the laws. The law says punish the adulterer. No gender emphasis.

Now I have some things to say to both groups (pro and against Sharia).

1. STOP APPEALING TO MY EMOTIONS...
Anti: If you have sharia in Canada women can be stoned to death.
Oh, shut the f*** up. No one is going to do that here. Civil and marital disputes means just that. Custody of kids, splitting the house in a divorce, claiming gold given to in-laws etc. And these are almost always tilted towards women in Islamic law.
Pro: You must support Sharia for the sake of Allah.
No, for the sake of Allah, stop telling me what to do. The Imam-knows-best attitude is one reason why so-called-Sharia has not worked in so-called Muslim countries.

2. ... AND START GIVING ME SOME LOGIC INSTEAD.
Anti: Canadian law for Canadian citizens.
Well, what about other religious groups that practice their laws? Why don't you campaign against ALL religious arbitration. Why is your campaign called No-SHARIA? Why the focus of Islamic law?
Pro: Muslims need Sharia.
Why? How have the Canadian laws failed us so far? What's missing? Give me a list.

Finally, I have a few comments to say to the no-sharia rally people.

Most of the people seemed to be non-Muslims. The media has made a big thing about how many Muslims, particularly women, are campaigning hard against it. I did not see that. Not even one hijabi in the crowd. Muslim Canadians are like most Canadians - politics - most of them don't care.

Two, again, why vilify Islam? All religious have laws that seems to be archaic to some people today. Why not secular law for all? I picked up their literature. I admit they DO have an item on their agenda that says "No religious arbitration and/or any principles that violate the Canadian Charter". But they never mention that in their speeches, interviews, etc. The focus is on prevention of Sharia. Seems very hypocritical to me.

In conclusion, I would be very wary of any religious laws in Canada. Most guys in charge of implementing them are too concerned with the letter of the law, rather than upholding the spirit of the law. But the way the No-Sharia group has organized their protest, they seem hypocritical, anti-Islam, anti-McGuinty and have found a convenient outlet for their racist leanings.

Psychotic Cricket?

Refer to my post about cricket being the true gentleman's sport. This might not entirely be true. There is also a psychotic, vicious element of the sport.

Let me explain.

Two days ago I was playing cricket in Ajax. Our team was bowling. One of their batsmen was hitting all our bowlers out of the park. And then it was my turn to bowl. Now I may be generously defined as a 'medium-pace' bowler, causing his eyes to light up. He began to make comments about where the hit would go.

First ball up, an unintended short ball, a bouncer. It hit the ground, reared up and hit him on the eye as he mistimed his hook shot. He was shaking his head for a couple of seconds. And I did not even feel the need to go up and ask him how he was. This was hard cricket.

Two balls later, another full toss ball. Again swing and miss, and it hit him square on the crotch. Boy, did he immediately fall to the ground. What was amazing was none of our players asked him how he was. They have all been hit around the park, and now everybody was enjoying the physical pain he was under.

Cut to scene two.

We were batting, and had just lost a wicket. Out walked our captain. One of their close fielders then started to 'sledge'.

"Aw c'mon look how nervous this guy is. He can't even place his bat to the ball. Bowl him a quickie and let him slip and get out. C'mon [bowler name here], get him."

First ball to our captain, short. He hooked. One bounce and then the ball hit the same sledging fielder on his lip. He, ofcourse, did not know where the ball went after that, and our team scored two runs. Then our captain turned to the fielder and said, "So, ball got your tongue?" Never mind that the fielder now had a swollen lip, we all lapped up the moment.

I would be interested to know if this sort of sledging and one-upmanship goes on in cricket's cousin - baseball. In international cricket, the Australians are experts in this. Walk to bat, and you can expect comments about your wife to your long lost aunt. I have heard Indians and Bangladeshis don't sledge about women, maybe due to social reasons.

But then again, after the game, everything seems fine. The guy I bowled a bouncer at - he was my former neighbor.

Those Poor Americans

Over the past week I could not tear myself away from the news coverage of Hurricane Katrina. As the scenes of devastation and damage by the hurricane gave way to the coverage of the lawlessness and chaos that began to grip New Orleans, incredible footage of refugees lining up to receive food aid, army on the streets, corpses floating and rotting to death began to enter our consciousness. And the most confounding of it all was as I struggled to remember – this was USA – these were Americans. This was not some third world country in Asia or Africa, but New Orleans, USA. To me, that was the most unbelievable fact.

I was in Asia when the tsunami struck. My cousins were in Phuket. To those who are blaming the officials for not recognizing the extent of the damage immediately, I can say that such information is hard to obtain initially. We all assumed a death toll of 200 initially for the tsunami. Then it grew to 600. Then a thousand. Two thousand. Three. Four. It just went on increasing. The damage reports started to go up too, as more and more facts became known. People affected by the tsunami had to forage for food for days before any aid got to them. There were whole communities cut off by water. Death, disease, and chaos could have been rampant, but was somehow miraculously contained. The governments were slow to get moving. That was the tsunami. And now we are seeing repeat scenes in New Orleans.

Then why do we criticize the American government for being slow to react, the officials for being incompetent to predict the extent of the damage, and the city officials for whatever else?

Because this is an American disaster.

We, the rest of the world, still hold the Americans to a higher pedestal than the rest of us. Like it or not, Americans are still considered a standard of excellence. The USA is the most powerful country in the world. It is the richest country in the world. It is the most educated, scientifically advanced country in the world.

The Americans put a man on the moon in 3 days, but the aid took 5 days to arrive. FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) officials earn their fat salary throughout the whole year for the one day they will be needed – the day after such a national emergency. They were ill-prepared, caught with their pants down. Congress stayed up all night to pass the 87 billion dollars needed for Iraq’s army, but did not pass an aid bill for New Orleans since the last 5 days. While Texas opened up their doors to refugees, the President did not see it worthwhile to immediately cut off his vacation. When National Guard officials were needed to stop looting and anarchy in their home state, they were off doing the same in a foreign country thousands of miles away. Somewhere, planning was improper. Scientists have warned for decades about the worst case scenario in New Orleans, so no one can see they were not warned.

And who is suffering? Society is judged by how they treat their poorest, their weakest, and their most vulnerable citizens. The people left behind in New Orleans are certainly those. I hope, for their sake, the American government gets its act together.

Americans deserve - and expect - no less from their leaders.