Facebook Appeases Muslims

Recently it has come to many people's attention that Facebook has stopped growing in Canada. This story about Facebook's fall in numbers was repeated throughout the Western world.

As a result, Facebook has refined its growth strategy to target Muslims in the developing world. Following detailed customer analysis, Facebook has made the following changes to its interface.

Events:

It felt that the original Event attendance with its three buttons was completely blasphemous to Muslims.


After all, when you click "I'm attending", how do you know you will attend an event, in the future? Only Allah knows the future, and therefore, the button was changed.


Marital Info:

This was targeted more towards the wealthier Arab market in the Gulf. In the original interface, Facebook allowed for the following setup.


This has now been changed to recognize the reality that upto 0.1% of the Arab men have more than 1 wife.


Poking:


Poking has been controversial ever since the feature was launched. According to Sheikh A'anta Majnun, "poking led to touching which led to dancing which led to haraam yaani boking is haraam". However, the feature could not be disabled for the Muslim world as it was discovered that many Muslim men liked to be 'poked' by non-related women. Therefore Facebook arrived at a compromise and allowed men to poke a women's "waali" (guardian) back if he was so inclined.



The feature was disabled for Muslim women, as their 'poking' responsibilities were delegated to their "waali". On a related note, most women have not yet 'friended' their "waali" (this is yet to be solved: one solution recommended delegating all 'friending' requests themselves to the "waali" but that is being debated).

Pictures

Photographs and tagging friends has long been Facebook's unique features, and this was tweaked slightly for the Muslim users of Facebook. An app titled "Muttawafy" automatically scans and ensures that pictures conform to strict guidelines followed by Muslim women.



As an aside, for some reason this feature, while it was introduced a while back with default setting "on", was found to be disabled by most desi men.

Moving Out of Parents' Homes After Marriage

This applies more to people from Eastern cultures, but ...

When do you think a married couple should move out of their parents' homes?

The culture in the West is that kids move out of their parents' place when they go to university, and stay on their own from then on. With the increasing trend of later marriages, when the kids marry, they have their own place (either their own or rented) and this is where they stay post-marriage.

The trend in the East is of joint families (or extended families). The kids may go MUST GO away to university, but post-completion they stay with their parents as they work. If it's the son, when he gets a wife, the girl moves into her in-laws' place. The grand parents, the kids and the grand kids all stay at the same residence.

Which approach do you think is better? In both of these practices I find a lot of good.

1. Independence

In Canada, I see kids growing up with summer jobs (such as mall stores, or even yard work, or at the beach) earning their own money, and thus developing an independent streak develop early. In life, they are better able to think on their feet, have street smarts, think like an adult, and take on their own responsibilities a lot earlier (just not on Saturday nights).

In our Eastern culture, kids are NEVER independent. And this rule applies especially if you are the son - you are always a momma's boy. I have seen even grown men with their own properties call on their dad to fix every little thing in their place as they have no idea how to do it. Life is 'leaving it to parents' while you enjoy.

2. Family Values

In the Western culture (and especially North American culture), parents don't play much of a role in one's life post-adulthood. Sure, they are always there (especially during Christmas) or you visit them regularly (hopefully) but you are your own man (or woman, or er, both). People usually settle down once they reach thirty (with a string of boyfriends/girlfriends since then). Yes, I am generalizing a bit. But post-30, once they find "the one", they inform their parents, hold a wedding, and then again continue their own lives.

In our Eastern culture, a family is very important to us. Even if our parents don't choose our spouses, it is important that the new addition to the family "fit in" with everyone - so consequently people give a lot of thought about their families when choosing a spouse, and our parents have a lot of say in what we do (where we stay, our jobs, our marital life etc.). There is a bond of family that is stronger in many Asian cultures than in the West.

So again, when do you think a married couple should move out of their parents' homes?

I think ideally, a new couple should have their own place. It give them privacy and a space to grow on their own as a couple (free from other influences). If you are Muslim, it seems religiously, it is also the right of every wife to have a home of her own according to the standards of her own social group. In many instances it is encouraged for the new couple to be given privacy and be left alone. This of course doesn't happen when you have a joint family system where the morning after your marital night you are expected to get up and help make breakfast for 20 people.

On the other hand, from experience, I can say a new wife living with her in-laws helps get her and her new family closer. It helps develop strong ties between her and her husband's siblings, and respect and love towards his parents. Moreover, not everyone can afford to have their own place right away.

I think therefore, giving some time, if you have to live with your parents, you should put a time limit of two years, and strive to get your own place in the meanwhile.

And when you do, it should be close enough so you can still visit them often, and take care of their needs, because as a child one has obligations towards the parents, especially if they are old and vulnerable.

And your Lord has decreed that you worship none save Him, and that you be kind to (your) parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say, "My Lord! Bestow on them your Mercy even as they cherished me in (my) childhood." - (Quran, 17:23-24)

Why Are (Some) Religious People so Rude?

I was at a wedding recently. As usual with weddings, there's lots of people taking photographs, and I was one of them, especially with my DSLR. And when the couple has spent more than $80,000 on the wedding, you want to take pictures.

And then I ran into one guy.

"Hey, don't take my picture!" He was adamant! So I replied, somewhat knowingly, "Why, religious reasons?"

"YES!" He practically shouted. "It is haraam (forbidden) to take pictures. So DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!"

Alright! But then get the HELL OUT OF THE WAY THEN. Stop standing next to the bride and groom if you don't want your picture taken!

I don't understand one thing - why do people who don't want their picture taken always assume everyone WANTS to take their picture? I mean, you are not Angelina Jolie.

And another thing, have you noticed that these people, who often claim to be more "religious" (translation: taking things to extremes) are always ... RUDE!

In another wedding, I met someone else who did not want their picture to be taken. Do you know what he did? He threatened to break the camera of a 10 year old KID who was taking pictures!

"Taking pictures is HARAAM and against Islam and if you take my picture again I will BREAK your camera do you understand?"


Way to go... be Islamic, threaten kids. Nice slogan. Recently, someone left the following comment on another blog (of a Muslim sister who also has a dog).

"no disrespect, but ..."

As soon as you read those, you know that the person has LOTS of disrespect. And what's up with the bad grammar and typos! It seems all our "Islamic friends" online didn't graduate high school English. The commentator goes on to berate her for caring for her sister's dog. Seems like they totally missed Imam Malik's point of view on dogs. Not to mention the story of the People of the Cave (and their dog) from THE QURAN!

On my blog's facebook page recently, someone commented, "IS IT ALLOWED TO SHOE QURANIC VERSES IN PICS....KINDLY GIVE THE ANSWER".

Now I don't think it's ever allowed to "shoe" Quranic verses, but the ALL-CAPS and the weak English immediately told me this person wasn't interested in a civil debate. Nevertheless, I gave him (or her) the references on Muslim artists, pictures etc. And just as I predicted, the person was back with the following gem:

"i am totally dissatisfied with the references you given. plz u give me the true reference after which u r showing it in pics or i will start a compaign to dis like your page....sorry for that"

I like how they apologize .. lol. And then they start spamming the web page, posting rude messages, after which I simply kicked and banned that user. There's something therapeutic about selecting a user and clicking "Remove and ban user".

I would put this aside, but this user is synoptic of a lot of Muslims. They hold fast to some ritual or practice, and anything that is SLIGHTLY different from them - HARAAM! KAAFIR! DOOMSDAY!

I think it's time to tell these people, "your haraam-ing is haraam!" Grow up.

Why the Liberals Lost

Canada is awake today to a Conservative majority government, with NDP forming the official opposition and the former traditional governing party, the Liberals, reduced to a small rump. My quick analysis is over at Crescent Canuck, do visit and comment over there.

South Asia Diaries - Dhaka

Dubai | Abu Dhabi | Kolkata | Delhi | Agra | Jaipur | Rongpur | Dhaka

Note: Unless otherwise mentioned, all pictures shown are taken by me.

After returning from Rongpur, there wasn't too much time to go touring Dhaka, as we got busy with meeting with family. However, we still found time to do a little sightseeing and of course, lots of shopping.

One thing about Dhaka, while being much cleaner than Kolkata, it was also a traffic nightmare. The infrastructure doesn't seem to have grown since 1980, but the population has. It took us 2 hours to go 4 km once. We had to attend a wedding at 9 am, and started at 8 am. We reached there at 10 am. And no, the return drive wasn't much better. It's faster to walk.

A traffic jam in New Elephant Road, Dhaka.
Picture taken by my cousin Asrar Chowdhury.
©Asrar Chowdhury, 2011.

Dhakeshwari Temple is an old temple in Dhaka, and we were lucky enough to witness a Hindu wedding done in authentic style on our last visit here.

A front view of Dhakeshwari Mondir.
Picture taken by my cousin Asrar Chowdhury.
©Asrar Chowdhury, 2011.

Another beautiful temple in Puran Dhaka (Old Dhaka)

Hindus and Muslims live together in Dhaka, and you don't have the ethnic ghettos that is a strictly "Muslim" area or strictly "Hindu" area, unlike Kolkata. The Moghuls had left signs of their presence in Dhaka. The Lalbagh Fort is one such place (the photos are from my last visit). The area is a favourite with couples, who all pay the entrance fee and engage in amorous behaviour away from the prying eyes of their parents. Each alcove in this complex was occupied by a couple! Reminded me of the Victoria Memorial in Kolkata.

Lalbagh Complex

Life along the Burigonga river, Dhaka.
Picture taken by my cousin Asrar Chowdhury.
©Asrar Chowdhury, 2011.

Of course, you can't go to Dhaka and not shop! While many Bangladeshis go to Kolkata specifically for shopping (like we Canadians go to the US for the same stuff but cheaper), Dhaka does have scope for lots of shopping too.

Interestingly, I found Dhaka to have a higher cost of living compared to Indian cities. Now I don't know much about rent, but food, electricity, shopping (clothes), transportation was all MUCH more expensive in Dhaka. For example, a four course meal sent up to our hotel room (room service!) in Jaipur cost the equivalent of $10.

Dining out at Pizza Hut

Here, dinner for four people at Pizza Hut cost us 3000 taka, or about $45. The middle class of Bangladesh seems to have grown, and they now have money to spend.

We made a stop to Boshundara City, one of the most Western-like malls in Dhaka.

The rotunda of Boshundara City

Clothes shopping in Mirpur

For saris, you have to go to Mirpur. It's a suburb of Dhaka (where they played the Dhaka portion of the 2011 Cricket World Cup matches involving Bangladesh). A lot of Urdu speaking people live around Mirpur (you wouldn't know it by listening to their Bengali though). This is the "factory outlet" of saris. Saris that cost 20,000 taka in malls in Dhaka can be bought for 3000 to 6000 taka here.

AND OF COURSE THERE IS THE FOOD. AND FISH. NO ONE DOES FISH LIKE BENGALIS.

Lunch 'dawat' at my chachi's - you can see Tilapia, Koi, Chingri amongst the fish!

Dhaka's unique "Chinese" food (a little too sweet for my taste) is quite famous

Dinner party at my mama's - can't be Bengali without rice ...

... or chicken korma!

A "small" lunch thrown in our honour (as farewell) - see the koi mach!

Not to mention, the giant shrimp!

The food we ate before our flight!

A good place to visit is the Shohid Minar, a tribute to the martyrs of the Language Movement. As my cousin told me, "Bangladeshis have died for their Bengali" - so no wonder Bengali is on the decline in Kolkata but not so in Dhaka.

Shohid Minar

A statement outside the Shohid Minar - it has the famous like from a famous song about 21 February, 1952

A place not too many people visit, but everyone should, is the Museum of the War of Liberation. Right now it's in a tiny house, but I got the impression that they got some money from the government (they should!), so they are moving to a bigger place. Photography wasn't allowed inside the museum. In fact, I had to leave my expensive DSLR with the custodian at the gate (and that made me quite nervous!). My cousin however didn't seem too worried, and our camera was still waiting for us when we left.

Liberation War Museum - a tribute by Hillary Clinton who had just visited some days ago

Flags at the Liberation War Museum

The museum had lots of stuff (artifacts, documents, weapons) etc. from 1971, with LCD screens (yes!) displaying information, and you can spend an easy 2 hours there. What made it better was that we visited with my cousin who knew a lot about 1971, so he was giving us a guided tour (and even an official there asked him a question!).

Soon though, amidst all the fun of relatives, cousins, music, weddings, food, shopping - it all had to end and we had to return to our lives (and snow!) back in Canada.

Fitting everything we had into the 2 suitcase limit per person (and 22 kg limit per suitcase) was going to be mission impossible.

Time to go - suitcases galore!

Heading back home (via Dubai) - a view of Dhaka from the air

Now you know what I do when I return from a vacation? I can't wait until it's time to plan to the next one! And now, regular blogging should resume in 3, 2, 1 ...

South Asia Diaries - Rongpur

Dubai | Abu Dhabi | Kolkata | Delhi | Agra | Jaipur | Rongpur | Dhaka

The flight from Kolkata, India to Dhaka, Bangladesh took approximately forty five minutes. We had returned to Kolkata from Jaipur, attended a wedding for some days, and then it was time to say goodbye to India.

As we descended the steps from the small plane, and entered the airport, the differences between Kolkata airport and Dhaka airport (now inexplicably called Hazrat Shah Jalal International Airport), were stark.

Dhaka was clean.

Yes, surprisingly, it was very clean. Even the city, as we drove through it to my uncles' place, was surprisingly neat and tidy. Maybe it was just the comparison with Kolkata, but more on Dhaka later. This post is about Rongpur.

Rongpur is my ancestral city, that I last visited over three years ago (day 1 and day 2). This time, after a day of resting in Dhaka, we (us, my cousins and my uncles) headed for Rongpur.

A boat on the rivers of Bangladesh.
Picture taken by my cousin Asrar Chowdhury.
©Asrar Chowdhury, 2011.

The next morning, I woke up bright and early to explore Rongpur. It was cold - 8 degrees C! And villagers live here without central heating or hot water.

A fog descends on Rongpur. These villagers are taking their produce to the weekly market. It is now bitterly cold, even to this Canadian.

Returning home to eat some bhapa pitha, with gur inside.

Later on, it was time to see the fishermen of the village do what one called "exercise for the fishes". They take this huge net and surround the pond with it. For my wife and I, this was something we haven't seen before. This "exercise" is to help the fish grow bigger, so as to fetch a good price when sold, and to help cull the diseased and smaller fishes.

The net is drawn closer and closer around the pond until the fishermen close in. Fishes jump about and jump out of the net into the pond (and thus are forced to become active even if they were lazy (hence the "exercise") and it also helps identify the ill fish).

The remaining fish that lie on the net are checked for illness or size. Culling of fish with undesirable characteristics (such as size, weight) is carried out.

The fish that did not make the cut. These fresh fish will be taken to the market and sold, while the rest are returned to the pond. You can see these are fresh Tilapia, sold in Canada for $2.99 - 4.99 per lb!

We bought this long fish, called "shoal" in Bengali, as well as some Tilapia.

After this 'show', it was time to start touring the village. Many of my relatives still lived here, so we had a long list of houses to visit.

A couple of cows are kept warm with their "sweaters" (which are really rice sacks redesigned to fit over their humps).

I also learned something interesting about the way the villagers prepare rice. Do you see these grains are that are spread on to the road? These are rice grains. I found that there are two steps to separate the rice grains.

Step 1 involves placing the rice grains on the road (seriously), and being separated when people (and goats, cows, chicken, etc.) trample on them (yes, that's what you eat). So here's some grains absorbing sunlight and ready to be trampled.

The separated rice grains are now swept up and collected.

Using these tools, stage 2 (finer separation) is now done. And I hope - cleaning.

Rice, ready to be stored in sacks and taken to the market.

So there was I, roaming around the village, photographing stuff, when suddenly some kids shouted, "Snake"!

Can you spot the snake in this picture? I intentionally kept the size larger so readers can have a shot at it.

Brave kids who offered to hunt and kill the snake for me. I politely declined.

These "sticks" are dried cowdung that are used as fuel in ovens to cook food. Yes, they are environment friendly, you control the heat by controlling the amount of dung, and since they are dried solid, there's no 'yuck' factor or smell. And yes, the food we ate was cooked in such oven.

FOOD! The best part of any visit to Bangladesh. If you visit a Bangladeshi household, you will see there HAS to be several items on the table. On this day, can you spot FIVE (yes, FIVE) different species of fish alone?

Rongpur was beautiful. It was clean, the air was crisp and unpolluted, the night skies amazingly clear and the stars visible, and the fresh food (fresh fish, freshly laid eggs, and had we wanted, freshly slaughtered cows!) were amazingly delicious. It was a great departure from the busy cities we were visiting, and a nice break. After a couple of days, we were ready to go back to Dhaka.

Can a Bangladeshi Support the Pakistan Cricket Team?

This Wednesday, March 23, 2011, Pakistan played West Indies in a quarter final match of the cricket World Cup. It was a knock-out game - the loser would go home and the winner on to the semi finals. The venue was Dhaka, Bangladesh. However, one could be mistaken for thinking Pakistan was playing a home game, with the 25,000 fans at the stadium solidly behind the men in green, some even painting the Pakistan flag on their cheeks or waving the star and crescent flag [source: Dawn].

On Facebook, I posted a Youtube video of a Bangladeshi spectator and a Pakistani visitor exchanging T-shirts. I was also supporting Pakistan over West Indies. This prompted a discussion by some people that these Bangladeshi supporters of the Pakistan team were a "disgrace to the nation". As a Bangladeshi, I was told, I should not be supporting the Pakistan team (which I was in this game).

This is why.

“…… we were told to kill the hindus and Kafirs (non-believer in God). One day in June, we cordoned a village and were ordered to kill the Kafirs in that area. We found all the village women reciting from the Holy Quran, and the men holding special congregational prayers seeking God’s mercy. But they were unlucky. Our commanding officer ordered us not to waste any time ...”
- Confession of a Pakistani Soldier

Gendercide Watch has an account of the genocide unleashed by the Pakistan army on the civilian population of Bangladesh (then East Pakistan) in 1971. Information can also be found on Genocide Bangladesh.

The details are horrible. The number of dead in Bangladesh in 1971 was almost certainly well into seven figures. It was one of the worst genocides of the World War II era, outstripping Rwanda (800,000 killed) and probably surpassing even Indonesia (1 million to 1.5 million killed in 1965-66) [Source: GW]. Apart from the killings, as many as 400,000 women were raped (and these figures are from unbiased Western sources; Bangladeshi numbers quote a higher number).

Now why do these atrocities, which occurred over 40 years ago, still have a resonance today? In particular, these are due to the shameful attitudes of modern day Pakistani citizens and their government. For example, if you talk to an average Pakistani, his or her attitude to 1971 can be categorized as one of the following:

1) These atrocities did not happen. The numbers are wildly exaggerated (possibly an Indian conspiracy to destabilize the "brotherly relations" between Pakistan and Bangladesh). Yes, there were some deaths, since this was a military action, but not anywhere close to the numbers mentioned here.

2) The army only had orders to kill Hindus.

3) Yes, these atrocities happened. But so what? It was a long time ago, and I, a modern day Pakistani, had nothing to do with it. So why should I apologize?

4) This was a shameful chapter in Pakistani history and I am truly sorry. Pakistan should formally apologize to Bangladesh and acknowledge her actions.

Sadly, not enough Pakistanis feel like the last scenario. Recently, former cricket captain Imran Khan has demanded an official apology from the Government of Pakistan to the people of Bangladesh for the atrocities allegedly committed by the Pakistan Army in 1971 [Source: 1 and 2].

As for (1), it's just not true because Pakistan's own Hamoodur Rahman Commission agreed that genocide occurred and recommended their leaders to be tried. As for (2), so what? Killing "only Hindus" is supposed to make genocide acceptable?

It's (3) that provokes debate. Should citizens today apologize for actions committed by their government years ago? I believe that in the absence of an official apology by their government, for actions that occurred with full support of the elite amongst the citizens of the time, likely their fathers or that generation, today's generation bears some responsibility to acknowledging the hurt and shame of 1971.

Why did, then, Pakistan get such support in Dhaka on Wednesday? I believe it was due to several of the following reasons.

1) They were playing West Indies, who had badly defeated Bangladesh in the group stages. People therefore wanted to see West Indies similarly humiliated.

2) In the absence of their home team, people support their neighbours or those they feel a cultural closeness with. This is why Sri Lanka, India or Pakistan get good support in Dhaka, or why Pakistan enjoyed good support when they played in Colombo.

3) It's been 40 years. If we still remained angry we wouldn't support England in any games (you could write an encyclopedia on the atrocities committed by the British Empire, apologies for which are still to be dragged out in many instances), or even Australia (the descendants of the worst of British convicts).

Personally, I keep politics and sports aside, and I genuinely like this Pakistani team. They play good cricket, are led by a terrific captain (who leads from the front), are a bunch of talented athletes that have overcome huge hurdles in their God-forsaken country to reach this stage. The Bangladesh cricket team would do well to learn from the attitude and resolve of these players.

Besides (other than cricket) Bangladesh now no longer has any need to have an inferiority complex of Pakistan. By ever standard our country is in much better shape than theirs. The Guardian congratulated Bangladesh on a vibrant economy and a strong women's movement on her 40th birthday, something unimaginable in Pakistan. It's no longer a basket case. In fact, the Wall Street Journal recently compared Pakistan and Bangladesh, and Pakistan can only look on in envy. This is why today most Pakistanis support Bangladesh and wistfully imagine how different the scenario would have been had the two nations prospered together, while Bangladeshis are proudly marching ahead charting their own course.

Of course, on March 30, 2011, when India take on Pakistan in the semi final, I will be fully supporting India, inshAllah. :-)