Monday, May 30, 2011

Why Are (Some) Religious People so Rude?

I was at a wedding recently. As usual with weddings, there's lots of people taking photographs, and I was one of them, especially with my DSLR. And when the couple has spent more than $80,000 on the wedding, you want to take pictures.

And then I ran into one guy.

"Hey, don't take my picture!" He was adamant! So I replied, somewhat knowingly, "Why, religious reasons?"

"YES!" He practically shouted. "It is haraam (forbidden) to take pictures. So DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!"

Alright! But then get the HELL OUT OF THE WAY THEN. Stop standing next to the bride and groom if you don't want your picture taken!

I don't understand one thing - why do people who don't want their picture taken always assume everyone WANTS to take their picture? I mean, you are not Angelina Jolie.

And another thing, have you noticed that these people, who often claim to be more "religious" (translation: taking things to extremes) are always ... RUDE!

In another wedding, I met someone else who did not want their picture to be taken. Do you know what he did? He threatened to break the camera of a 10 year old KID who was taking pictures!

"Taking pictures is HARAAM and against Islam and if you take my picture again I will BREAK your camera do you understand?"

Way to go... be Islamic, threaten kids. Nice slogan. Recently, someone left the following comment on another blog (of a Muslim sister who also has a dog).

"no disrespect, but ..."

As soon as you read those, you know that the person has LOTS of disrespect. And what's up with the bad grammar and typos! It seems all our "Islamic friends" online didn't graduate high school English. The commentator goes on to berate her for caring for her sister's dog. Seems like they totally missed Imam Malik's point of view on dogs. Not to mention the story of the People of the Cave (and their dog) from THE QURAN!

On my blog's facebook page recently, someone commented, "IS IT ALLOWED TO SHOE QURANIC VERSES IN PICS....KINDLY GIVE THE ANSWER".

Now I don't think it's ever allowed to "shoe" Quranic verses, but the ALL-CAPS and the weak English immediately told me this person wasn't interested in a civil debate. Nevertheless, I gave him (or her) the references on Muslim artists, pictures etc. And just as I predicted, the person was back with the following gem:

"i am totally dissatisfied with the references you given. plz u give me the true reference after which u r showing it in pics or i will start a compaign to dis like your page....sorry for that"

I like how they apologize .. lol. And then they start spamming the web page, posting rude messages, after which I simply kicked and banned that user. There's something therapeutic about selecting a user and clicking "Remove and ban user".

I would put this aside, but this user is synoptic of a lot of Muslims. They hold fast to some ritual or practice, and anything that is SLIGHTLY different from them - HARAAM! KAAFIR! DOOMSDAY!

I think it's time to tell these people, "your haraam-ing is haraam!" Grow up.


sunehra said...

Great post! I know exactly what you mean about rude 'religious' people. I always want to tell them to get off their high horse and learn to be a nice person first!

mezba said...

@Sunehra, thanks. The best scene was when you can pit one of these guys against another and they believe two different things... lol.

Anonymous said...

AMEN Sista!

Dreamlife said...

I think Baba Ali recently did a new "Reminders" video on that - 'Religious people' that aren't so religious.

Haven't watched it - but if it's as good as most of hsi stuff; hopefully you'll enjoy it :)

Az said...

I don't only find so-called religious people rude, but most of the time they're also arrogant, self-righteous and condescending. I've always said that there is nothing wrong with Islam. It's perfect. There's something wrong with Muslims... some of them anyway.

Suroor said...

Nodding and patting your back ... oops! Is it haram to pat backs of men?? Darn! I even hugged you :D


nadia said...

I just attended a wedding too, so I know what you mean. I respect a person's wish to *not* be photographed, but like you said, "Stop standing next to the bride and groom if you don't want your picture taken!"

When are you posting the pictures of the $80,000 wedding? I saw one where you guys were standing next to a limo. Great picture!

"There's something therapeutic about selecting a user and clicking "Remove and ban user"." LOL

isheeta said...

agreed. some religious people are so rude and ignorant, that they take religious phrases out of context, use it against other people's beliefs and behaviours, and use it to their advantage to such an extent that sometimes they end up breaking marriages. imams included. if thats what it means to be religious, i'm waiting for my express route to hell with open arms.

Anonymous said...

dude, this just happen to my 8 year old boy in MAsjid Nabawii. Serious he was so freaked out and almost started to cry. I had to show him it was not Haram by showing other people taking photos of the Masjid.

My spin to him "Yes, Dean, there are many types of Muslims. Just make sure you never grow up to be a RUDE Muslim !"

Anonymous said...


My Understanding of the whole "Dog" Issue, is that people can own Dogs, for specific purposes, Hunting, Tracking Down Criminals, Police and Customs Works, Dis-abled + Handicapped reasons, and of course personal security and protection reason.

To my knowledge, rasing a dog for "Fun" is not permitted in Islam, i have read some articles, yet I am not 1000% sure.

where has your analysis gone?


WoodTurtle said...

Holier-than-thou-fitnah just to say, "I'M RIGHT UR WRONG. Sorry abt that." sigh. Makes for fun times!

I think some are just very proud of *their Islam and take "forbidding the wrong" just way too close to heart, without checking their tone, intentions or facts.

'liya said...

If he didn't end up in your photo, the wedding video probably got him :D

Farah said...

"I mean, you are not Angelina Jolie."

HAHAHAHA - this had me cracking up.

- Farah.

Anonymous said...

I find that many religious people just get a kick out of putting another down for being less muslim... They take the idea of teaching others about Allah, to more about making them feel bad about not being the "right" kind of muslim.

At the end of the day, one will pay for their own sins, so honestly it's none of their business whether I am committing a sin or not. That's the viewpoint I hold now, and I have found it's the only way I can sleep peacefully without getting into arguments with every rude religious person. I can actually now distinguish between them too...I have noticed the nice and decent muslim people will express their view, but won't berate you for not believing the same... and I tend to stay in there company more than the one's that feel I should give up shrimp cause it's not halal!


Gwen Styles said...

FWIW Christians are like this too. Being more religious than someone else doesn't give you license to be more of a jerk!

mezba said...

@giaghani, actually, I am a bro! Mezba is a guy's name.

@Dreamlife, I have to see this video of Baba Ali. I remember him being all the rage in university. Him and Maniac Muslim.

@Azra, I think it's some deep seated insecurity they have, and the feel good putting other people down.

mezba said...

@Suroor, oh my now you have gone and done it! :-)

@Nadia, I have to still upload the pictures from my camera. I find this ordeal of sorting through 900+ pics such a chore. How do you do it? Why don't pictures automatically sort themselves, auto correct themselves and auto-publish themselves on Facebook :-)

@Isheeta, it's sad that these interfering busybodies ruin so many things in the name of religion. They turn people off!

mezba said...

@Anon (5:56), it's a ban they don't enforce unless you have a big DSLR. Everyone who went on hajj had pictures, and they all used a little point and shoot they concealed and took in!

@Nalouti, the topic is not whether having dogs is right or wrong, but about people believing it one way, refusing to adjust to people believing the other way, and rudely dealing with it. I have no problem if someone believes keeping dogs is haram, but if that person tries to correct another person rudely, declaring takfir and what not, definitely that's not kosher.

@Woodturtle, "enjoin right forbid evil" yeah, and pretty much that's the only thing from Islam they seem to follow, and they do it wrong too!

mezba said...

@Liya, oh he did ! We even tagged him on FB for the fun of it.

@Farah, :-)

@Nazia, They take the idea of teaching others about Allah, to more about making them feel bad about not being the "right" kind of muslim.

Spot on. I also like those who are firm in their believes, but also believes in the right for others to disagree, and are agreeable about the differences. Now that's respect.

@Gwen, I find that these "born again Christians" for the most part tend to believe they love Christ, yet are hardly interested in anything he actually preached!

mystic-soul said...

These me nut!

mezba said...

I know many people who have a bad taste of mosques due to people like these!

TManiac said...

Hey Mezbub,

Haha, nice post about the rude Muslim who says "taking pictures is Haraam." People these days. Gosh, I hate how they make the issue of picture-making and photographing sound like Shirk, like as if we're all going to get punished on the Day of Judgment just for making pictures for communication, depiction, and preservation of once-in-a-lifetime memories. Believe it or not, but I read a quote from some Shaykh that taking photographs even for memory is forbidden. And thanks for the links clarifying pictures in Islam. FYI, there is NOTHING SHIRK ABOUT PICTURES IN ISLAM, unless if you make the mistake of worshiping them as idols.

Some people just follow a ritual their whole lives, and anything little, new, and creative that comes up they immediately declare "HARAAM!" I'm guessing they're still stuck in the stone-age and probably haven't spent their lives outside the masjids.

BTW, Mezbubba, I've restarted my I'll try to blog or tweet something new. Oh, and there was an illiterate spammer on your "Read With Meaning" FB page? When did this happen?


Anonymous said...

Both the person receiving the message and the person delivering it tend to be at fault most of time.

The Quran clearly states to enjoin the good and forbid the evil. At the same time this has to be done with hikmat.

It happens often that a person trying to correct another for a wrong they are doing is seen as being "arrogant" or "fanatical" when in actual fact it is their approach and timing which they need to mindful of. However the person on the other end perceives this person to be "holier than thou" even though that may not be their state of mind.

We all need to look ourselves and really and truly ask ourselves if it is the messenger we dislike or the message itself. To say we must accept another difference of opinion is fine where that difference is legitimate.

On the authority of Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, radiyallahu 'anhu, who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah, sallallahu 'alayhi wasallam, say:

"When any one of you sees anything that is disapproved (of by Allah), let him change it with his hand. If he is not able to do so, then let him change it with his tongue. And if he is not able to do so, then let him change it with his heart, though that is the weakest (kind of) faith."

Misha said...

Haha, liked the Angelina Jolie bit. Yeah I actually had someone say to me that photographs aren't allowed in Islam because they can be used as a means to torture that person in their grave....


mezba said...

@Taha, some people also see anything outside their culture as automatically "haraam".

You have to give me the link to your blog, so I will link to it under "friends".

@Anon (11:49), yes, there is enjoining the good and forbidding the evil, but there is also knowing what is evil. Just because there are some differences of opinion between scholars doesn't mean it automatically becomes 'evil', right?

The story of Imam Hussain and Imam Hassan as to how they corrected the one who wasn't doing wudu properly is the example to be followed.

@Misha, some people The thing is, if someone tells me nicely, of course I will respect the wishes. If someone told me nicely not to take their picture, I wouldn't really do it. But there is nothing to be rude about in these cases, right?

I once met someone who said MSA was haraam as it included girls, who should really stay at home and have their husbands give them the knowledge!... Now imagine!

TManiac said...

@Mezba, my blog's still at . and my hub of social sites:


Khalida said...

I've noticed this trend to. The seemingly "religious" people with seriously un-religious attitudes. I just don't get it.

mezba said...

@Taha, noted.

@Khalida, and if you mention their OWN faults to them, THEN they get so high and mighty!

Khalida said...

Btw Mezba, I just saw your post on MuslimMatters in response to the ban on driving for women in Saudia Arabia, and I completely agree. I was going to post a similar response (knowing it would have been an unpopular one there) but you beat me to it. :)

I don't understand the double standards. Muslims will complain, petition, protest, etc about the ban on Hijabs/Niqabs in France but pointing out stupidities in so-called Islamic nations is too forceful? sigh. I don't get that either.

mezba said...

Thank you Khalida.

It's true, to these people, the West is automatically evil and Saudi Arabia is always good.

Musa said...

I had high hopes that MuslimMatters would be a place for educated Muslims to debate logically but sadly it is full of extremists and extremely bigotted people. My favorites:
1) Women who were saying other women dont need to drive in SA as "women are like queens there" and "women driving would mean less time devoted towards Islam"
2) The Bahrain issue; most commentators there favor the government crushing protestors because "you western Muslims dont know how bad the Shia are"
3) The polygamy issue where droves of Muslim "Brothers" are screaming that they have the right marry as many times as they want and that women who get jealous of 2nd wives are following the Shaytan. That article has probably the most number of ridicuolous comments in a MuslimMatters article ever.

OTTH, I was pleasantly surprised by the "Shaykhy crushes" issue where most people debated civilly

mezba said...

@Musa, these are priceless... and also sad.

I would hate to think most of the Muslim world thinks like that, but I am pessimistic.

Anonymous said...

no doubt my comment wont show. Think your wrong, there are many more rude non practising muslims than ones that are. Im not religious but what the guy said was right, in islam you have been told to attend weddings to give your blessings and dua but not haram. I think you know what im tring to get to, back to the drawing board for you mate. Take care.

mezba said...

@Anon, please clarify your comment - cannot follow what you are saying.

Unknown said...

Mezba bhaia, I agree with you, some people take things too serious and forget that as simple as smiling is a sunnah. But I think we should take some responsibility as well. Instead of being hurt, I think we should feel bad for them for being misguided and show them how to be nice by being extra nice to them. This is how our Prophet (pbuh) used to deal with people.