How Life Changes When You Have Kids

No one really, really tells you how your life will change once you have kids. Every one is like, "aww... how sweet! You are going to be parents! Amazing!"

I remember the first time I had to see a diaper change. It was sometime just after the birth of our first born, when I opened his diaper ... and saw "meconium". For the uninitiated, this looked like something they use when paving roads. I looked at my wife and she looked back at me, and we were both like 'we have no idea how to do this'. Thankfully my mother was there to show us what to do.

I think our adjustment cycle went somewhat like this.
 

Stages of Early Parenthood	What it means
Denial	Nothing has changed. We can still do what we used to do. We actually booked and went on a trip to Thailand with a six month old baby. Poor son.
Religion	It's 3 AM. Please go to sleep. PLEASE! I beg of you. Ya Allah!
Bargaining	The Wife: It's your turn to change him. Me: No, it's YOUR turn. I did it last time. The Wife: No, I did it. Remember it was the big poop and you didn't want to do it. Me: That doesn't count because this time it's pee. I changed the last pee. The Wife: So, the next time he poops you will change him?
Acceptance	You know how we used to say we would be those parents that never let our kids watch TV? Or put them to sleep on schedule? LOL. ROFL. My Netflix used to have all horror movies as my recommendations. Now it's all about Caillou and Bubble Guppies and how they are a reliable baby sitter (don't judge!).
Memory Loss	Oh, remember how cute he was? Why don't we have another one? Nothing will change, really.

Here's some things that are never the same:

Dinner Parties:

Yes, I can do dinner. Can we be done by 7 pm please? Hello? Hello?

Song in my head:

There was a time when I would whistle a Bollywood tune when I am busy. Now I am angry because often the theme song for Thomas and His Friends won't leave my head.

And if you ask any parents, they wouldn't change a thing.