I was the witness to a friend’s wedding recently, and accompanied him to City Hall when the couple went to obtain their marriage license. When they were filling out the form and I was proof reading it, I noticed something strange.
Gone are the two distinct columns where the left side said “Groom” and the right side said “Bride” and asked for their respective information. Now it said plainly “Applicant” and “Joint Applicant”. And they say same sex marriage does not affect heterosexual marriages.
And yes, since the wife filled out the form first (she had the pen) she was the “Applicant”. [PDF]
Too many relationships are breaking up recently. Having played the role of listener and wanna-be Dr. Phil over the last couple of weeks, I ventured over to the original ‘relationship expert’ of Toronto, a Valerie Gibson. She writes for the Toronto Sun, and according to their site, is “married (and divorced) five times”.
Now why would someone take advice from a person who could not make a successful go of it five times, let alone one, is beyond me. Having surfed through her web site and the advices she gave, I have come to the conclusion that people like her are a part of the problem. Here are a few questions people have asked her.
My wife and I are in mid-life and been married for over 25 years. She has, to my surprise, recently become very sexy.
Err... this is a problem?
When we're at home alone, she gives me wonderful hugs and kisses, fondles me …
Ok I am stopping here, as I don’t want this post to become the top link for weird Google search terms (believe me, I get enough of those – who the hell searches for ‘bhabi fair and lovely’ and how do they end up on my blog?).
Gibson takes the hubby down a notch by replying
Don't want to pour cold water on a hot situation but it might be possible she's having "guilt sex" because of an affair. [link]
I would have said just hold on and enjoy the ride. Why cast suspicion without any reason? Now rather than enjoying his good fortune the man will be keeping tabs on his wife's cellphone calls.
Then there is this gem.
Our 19-year-old daughter is at university and has asked if her boyfriend can visit at Christmas and stay in her bedroom. I know they have sex and practice safe sex and I feel it would be okay because I see her as an adult.
Well, good for you.*sarcasm*
However, my husband disapproves and says he doesn't care what they do elsewhere, but they're not going to sleep together under his roof. He feels it would set a bad example for her 15-year-old sister.
Twenty years ago this question would not even arise in the Canadian society. Three cheers for the man. People lived the Christian values rather than just talk about it. Gibson’s response:
It's hypocritical of her dad to accept that she's having sex elsewhere but isn't allowed to in your home. At 15, her sister can understand that there are different rules at different ages.
Yes, what a great way to encourage a budding relationship between daughter’s boyfriend and her father. Whatever happened to "my house, my rules"?
While I understand different values exist for different people, you would think as a boyfriend you would be a bit smart. If you are getting the bagging for the rest of the year surely you can go without it for a few days. Nah, do it at her father’s place and you will get none of the bagging and all of the nagging.
At least she didn’t ask me. I would have said make sure your father doesn’t believe in honor killing.
Most of her ‘answers’, and indeed most of the answers in similar columns in Now and other such tabloids, end with the statement that “it’s time for you to evaluate the situation and consider whether you want to continue this relationship, or if it’s time to move on”.
Its apparently easy to move on.
Love is all about self satisfaction.
Relationships are all about ‘me’.
Marriage is about benefits. When it hits troubled waters, "evaluate".
Husbands are not worthy of any special respect.
Compromise is a sign of weakness.
A father is just a bank.
No wonder divorce is rampant in our society and the institution of marriage is breaking down. It's not just same sex marriage.
It's the fact that now everyone wants to be the "Applicant", ALL THE TIME.