Back To The Future For Geocities

Nostalgia seems to be pretty big nowadays. Today I was surprised to see an article on nostalgia for Web 1.0.

Er, Web 1.0, you ask. What is that?

That used to be the day. This was the internet of the late 90s and early 2000s. Those were the days before Google took shape (I remember using Alta Vista search engine) and blogging was just lurking around the corner. If you wanted a website, you had to build your own. You had to know HTML, DHTML and perhaps JavaScript (nowadays you just need a blogger or wordpress account). The best example was of course Geocities.

I had a Geocities account. Curiosity got the better of me and I used an internet archiver to see what my website looked like in 2002.

I also had a little bit of space on the university website (both as a student and as a TA) and this is what it looked like (the archiver is missing some of the images as well as styles).

What I find amazing is just the sheer amount of personal information I used to put online back then! One can argue we put more information online nowadays on Facebook and LinkedIn but those are behind a password protected account and shared with friends only (or so we think). From my site in 2002 you would know the names of my friends, my class schedule, where I worked, what my interests were, where we went for holidays and what I thought about the World Cup (well, some things don't change). ANY one could have seen that and all that was preventing them from visiting my site was not knowing the exact URL.

Ironically, I see that the time when Google broke through was when Geocities began to die, and blogging started to take root. I have already been blogging since 2004 (more than a decade now; my first post was on a cricket match).

I wonder what I will be posting as nostalgia in another ten years! Perhaps we will be looking back on the glory days of Facebook!

When Searching For Right Becomes Wrong

I recently published a post over at Love Inshallah entitled "How I Met My Son's Mother" (the title was a play on my favourite sitcom How I Met Your Mother) which outlined my thoughts on the whole arranged marriage process, as well as some provocative conclusions I had of the whole situation. Of course this has resulted in some ladies getting mighty upset. There has been posts and counter posts against my original post, the editors thought it wise to add a disclaimer, and even altmuslimah got into the act. The kicker was the paragraph on the altmuslimah article that actually seemed to say being involved in relationships prior to marriage is a good thing.

The whole hullaballoo reminded me of one wise saying that I feel is a guiding principle of my life.

"Right is right, no matter how few follow it, wrong is wrong no matter how many acclaim it."

Having said all that, let me distill it all down to five main points which even those that had a go at me will have a hard time disproving. I don't mind criticism, and I ignore insults (both Prophet Musa and Muhammad, peace be upon them, far better men than lil 'ol me, faced insults and harassments over far more complex issues).

1. It is good to get married early. It is the Islamic thing to do.

Can any one really deny that Islam encourages us to get married early? The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) got married early (25 years of age), most of the Sahabah got married in their late teens or early twenties, and it was the practice of the Muslims to get married as soon as they were able to and were of age. And we are talking about guys here. Girls used to get married as early as 13 or 14.

Times and societies differ, but I think in today's day and age, a man should start looking for a wife sometime after finishing his university undergraduate degree (say around the age 24), while a woman should start looking sometime before (perhaps at the age of 21).

2. It is easier for a younger woman to get married as opposed to an older woman. Men generally prefer a wife younger than them.

Of course, whenever you say this, someone will then bring up the example of the Prophet (peace be upon him)'s marriage.

Muhammad (pubh) married Khadija who was 40 and he was 25, and she was much older than him and married 2 times prior to marrying the prophet, and had several children previously ...

While quoting this famous example of Khadijah, many people conveniently forget three main parts of her story.

• To be academic, Khadijah was only 28 years old when she married the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), not 40. This is the most authentic opinion. She was thus only 3 years older than her husband, who was 25 [Source, go to 21:30].
• Khadijah herself married at a very early age (her first marriage).
• Muhammad (peace be upon him) married Aisha, Hafsa, Zainab etc. all of whom were much younger than him (and who had all, with the exception of Aisha, been married before, and at an early age). In fact, Aisha was also very young, having just stepped into puberty.
• He encouraged young, single men to marry young, single women.

It is common sense that a woman is much more desirable as a marriage partner when she is 21 as opposed to when she is 31. And of course, no one decides to get married and poof! the next day they have found someone. It takes about 1-2 years of searching before you find someone. Starting at an age of 21 means a woman will generally get married when she is 23 or 24. If you start at 25, it's much harder.

Most guys who are in the arranged marriage process will be of the age 24-29. When you factor in that the average age difference between the husband and the wife in an arranged marriage is about 2-4 years, then you know why, as soon as a woman crosses the age of 25, she finds the pool of available men diminishing, and it gets harder and harder to find a suitable match.

A small disclaimer. I am not criticizing girls or guys who started looking but didn't meet someone. They are not single by choice. No, I am criticizing those who delay marriage for career, for education, for "I want to relax and have a good time".

3. Be chaste. You should avoid relationships before marriage and be professional in dealing with the opposite gender.

Surah Qasas verses 23-28 is a great anecdote of how Musa (peace be upon him) met his first wife. Men and women can and will interact, and this interaction should be professional, to the point and exactly what is necessary. A woman, if she likes a man, can initiate the proposal and Musa, as a young man, deals with the marriage proposal with the girl's father in a proper and honourable manner. There is no flirting, no "going out", no improper behavior at all. In fact, Allah praises his wife as "being shy".

Lo and behold.

I don’t appreciate the idea of if someone has been in a relationship then she’s automatically off the list

We’ve both had relationships before we met each other, and they made us more complete and interesting individuals, with a better idea of what we want and don’t want in life and in a partner

And of course, the altmuslimah paragraph (kind of strange for an article on a site with 'muslim' in its name to promote this sort of activity).

I’m tired of the attitude that women should be blamed for the relationships they’ve been in, and I’m frustrated that dating implies sex in the minds of so many Muslims. Spending some time with members of both sexes can be done in a halal way, can lead to a successful marriage in the best case, and (if nothing else) is a healthy way of developing comfort and a mature attitude towards relationships – a time investment that pays off when you get married ...

If you are "dating", you are going out with some member of the opposite gender just to have a good time, and you are then in a relationship (emotional, physical, doesn't matter) with someone ("he's my boyfriend"), then you are doing something that is not sanctioned by Islam. Can anyone really argue that? If you love someone, get married to that someone.

Some disclaimer, I don't think a broken engagement, or time spent with someone in 'getting to know them' (for a short while, for the purpose of marriage), or a divorce counts as a bad thing. Engagements break, you spend time getting to know someone honourably to find out that it won't work, and marriages fail - these things happen. No, what I absolutely cannot recommend is getting into an emotional (and perhaps physical) relationship with someone where all of society knows you as a couple and yet you are not married for years - why?

This applies both to guys and girls. I don't like the double standard that sometimes gives men a free pass for their behavior (boys will be boys) but holds girls to strict standards. A chaste, Muslim woman who has kept herself in check should have the full right to say no to a prospective suitor that has 'played around'.

4. Don't follow those who are not into arranged marriage.

It has to be said, if you are going to go the arranged marriage route, than don't follow as an example those who are NOT going to go through this route. Let me give an example.

There are many people who will have found their special someone through dating, or perhaps they met in the university and kept in touch, and then later started to "go out" with this person on dates and so on. These people are not the 'arranged marriage' type. They are in a long term relation with their special someone, and after some suitable time, they will get married. If the relation breaks, then they will find someone else to date, and marry.

These Muslims, while still being officially "single", are in a relationship. They live alone, work after graduation, further their careers while being in a relationship. However, they are not married, and will probably get married after a long courtship, perhaps at the age of 28 or 29.

If a Muslim man, or worse yet, a woman, looks to these people as examples, and thinks, "Wow, I too get remain single until I am 26 or 27, and then get married" they are in for a delusion. The two processes to marriage are completely different.

5. When it comes to children, women make the greater sacrifice, and Islam encourages having children.

A righteous son can act as sadqah jariah, and a daughter can be the key to paradise.

There is a reason why the mother has a very high status in Islam. In modern times, it's not sexism, or the glass ceiling, or the 'old boys club' that is the primary reason men rise higher in the corporate ladder than women. It's motherhood.

At some point, a couple will face the decision to start a family. And this will put the woman's career in jeopardy, even with great maternity benefits and laws. While she's at home, male colleagues will get that promotion, gather that extra experience and take that training. This is a sacrifice.

Moreover, most fathers will say they would prefer their wives to take care of their kids at home if money wasn't an issue.

This is another reason a woman should marry early. Then she has enough time to focus on her career or fulfill her dreams of higher education, whatever it may be, and still leave enough time for children.



These were my main points from my Love Inshallah article. As I expected, many feminists attacked me at once for my "privileged views" (whatever that may be). However, the truth has to be said. If people ignored their own opinions and their own "feelings" and dedicated more time to loving, understanding and following the sunnah, the Marriage Crisis that we in the Western Muslim community are facing (largely as a result of our own actions) will be no more.

Why Are (Some) Religious People so Rude?

I was at a wedding recently. As usual with weddings, there's lots of people taking photographs, and I was one of them, especially with my DSLR. And when the couple has spent more than $80,000 on the wedding, you want to take pictures.

And then I ran into one guy.

"Hey, don't take my picture!" He was adamant! So I replied, somewhat knowingly, "Why, religious reasons?"

"YES!" He practically shouted. "It is haraam (forbidden) to take pictures. So DON'T TAKE MY PICTURE!"

Alright! But then get the HELL OUT OF THE WAY THEN. Stop standing next to the bride and groom if you don't want your picture taken!

I don't understand one thing - why do people who don't want their picture taken always assume everyone WANTS to take their picture? I mean, you are not Angelina Jolie.

And another thing, have you noticed that these people, who often claim to be more "religious" (translation: taking things to extremes) are always ... RUDE!

In another wedding, I met someone else who did not want their picture to be taken. Do you know what he did? He threatened to break the camera of a 10 year old KID who was taking pictures!

"Taking pictures is HARAAM and against Islam and if you take my picture again I will BREAK your camera do you understand?"


Way to go... be Islamic, threaten kids. Nice slogan. Recently, someone left the following comment on another blog (of a Muslim sister who also has a dog).

"no disrespect, but ..."

As soon as you read those, you know that the person has LOTS of disrespect. And what's up with the bad grammar and typos! It seems all our "Islamic friends" online didn't graduate high school English. The commentator goes on to berate her for caring for her sister's dog. Seems like they totally missed Imam Malik's point of view on dogs. Not to mention the story of the People of the Cave (and their dog) from THE QURAN!

On my blog's facebook page recently, someone commented, "IS IT ALLOWED TO SHOE QURANIC VERSES IN PICS....KINDLY GIVE THE ANSWER".

Now I don't think it's ever allowed to "shoe" Quranic verses, but the ALL-CAPS and the weak English immediately told me this person wasn't interested in a civil debate. Nevertheless, I gave him (or her) the references on Muslim artists, pictures etc. And just as I predicted, the person was back with the following gem:

"i am totally dissatisfied with the references you given. plz u give me the true reference after which u r showing it in pics or i will start a compaign to dis like your page....sorry for that"

I like how they apologize .. lol. And then they start spamming the web page, posting rude messages, after which I simply kicked and banned that user. There's something therapeutic about selecting a user and clicking "Remove and ban user".

I would put this aside, but this user is synoptic of a lot of Muslims. They hold fast to some ritual or practice, and anything that is SLIGHTLY different from them - HARAAM! KAAFIR! DOOMSDAY!

I think it's time to tell these people, "your haraam-ing is haraam!" Grow up.

Bloggers in Lego

It's quite amazing when how much time you have on your hand when you are done your studies. So this morning, I stared at my Lego collection - and inspired by Nadia's recent post, an idea began to form.

Here, in no particular order, are some bloggers on my list in Lego.

Organica

Rain or shine, Organica reminds you to be green, and is recently busy with a garden at her local mosque.

Ahmed

Ahmed blogs at GeekiSiddique. His trademarked Perma-grin is enhanced even more as he discovers a giant chocolate!

Liya

Liya and V get ready to set off for their latest travelling adventure around the globe!

Haleem

Haleem (who blogs at Captain Chaos) goes on a bike ride, with the Toronto skyline in the back, accompanied by wife Mona.

Achelois

One of the Queens of the Blogosphere, Achelois combines British humour on life in the Middle East with other topics quite well!

Isheeta

Isheeta goes off on one of her many vacations to Dubai.

Nadia

In sandy Dubai, Nadia is ever ready with her DSLR camera to snap pictures!

Amir

Amir (who blogs at Tweels) in now back in Toronto with his ride.

Aafke

Aafke (of Clouddragon and Aafke Art fame) is shown here with her favourite horse.

Mezba

And finally, you have yours truly, Mezba, with The Wife.

Setup:

The pictures were all taken with a simple point and shoot Canon Cybershot camera (7 MP) in Macro mode and no flash. Here's a setup shot.

"Where in the World" Photo Contest - Round 3

So, I am one of 'Liya's "Where In The World" Photo Contest Bloggers. Here's the Round 3 picture, and you have to guess which city it's from. This is the final round.


It's really easy!

The answer to my Round 2 is now published.

You can check the answers to other pictures at Liya's blog (original pics here).

"Where in the World" Photo Contest - Round 2

So, I am one of 'Liya's "Where In The World" Photo Contest Bloggers. Here's the Round 2 picture, and you have to guess which city it's from.



It's really easy!

UPDATED! For those who could not guess it and emailed me for a clue, the clue is TIME.

The answer to my Round 1 is now published.

You can check the answers to other pictures at Liya's blog (original pics here).

"Where in the World" Photo Contest

So, I am one of 'Liya's "Where In The World" Photo Contest Bloggers. Here's my picture, and you have to guess which city it's from.


It's easy!

Bonus points if you can guess the location in the city.

You win: Er.. bragging points? (contact 'Liya for prizes)

a_bong is born

Yes, I do have a lot to say (waiting for the weekend to pen some posts), but for the moment, I have news.

I have given in.

a_bong

Yes, you can now follow me on twitter at http://twitter.com/a_bong.

SF bound, iA

So I am excited. I am leaving for San Francisco iA in two days, and not only will it be a break from the grey days here, we plan to head to other cities further south as well. I also plan to meet up with Baraka, iA.

Speaking of Baraka, she messaged me the other day, "SF is now cold and rainy!" Well, cold I can handle (Canadian), but rainy I don't want to (even if I am Bengali!).

I love visiting new places. I feel if people visited other places they would gain an appreciating for each other and know each other and perhaps that would lead to world peace.

As long as they understand their accent! I am booking a car and I called this car rental company and I guess their call center is somewhere in the South.

"Sow, you would like to reeaaant an ow-tow?" The girl goes in this extreme Southern drawl.

"Er, yes, I would like to rent an auto." (Pardon me, but I DID call the car rental company!)

Moreover, it made no difference what I said to her, she would just extract the information she needed for the particular question and then ask her next, even if I already said it.

"I would like to rent a standard auto from Dec 18^th to Dec 23^rd at this location," I said.

"Okay!" She was very cheerful. "What size auto?"

I thought I said it, so I repeated, "I would like to rent a standard auto from Dec 18^th to Dec 23^rd at your SF location."

"OK. Standard auto. Now when would you like to rent it from?"

I answered, "I thought I just said it. From Dec 18^th to Dec 23^rd at your SF office."

"Good," She typed and then, "and when would you return it?"

*I shake my head*

At least she had a nice voice!

On another note, I was envying my British cousin the other day.

"You guys are so lucky. Two hours and you are not only in another country, but another culture! Another hour, another country! So much to see!"

And she goes, "And you guys are so lucky. So many great cities to see! New York. Montreal! Toronto! Las Vegas! Boston! I mean, what do we have?"

Truly the grass being greener on the other side of the pond!

ADDED LATER:

I noticed my blog friends Baraka (Rickshaw Diaries), Haleem (Captain Chaos) and Suroor (Achelois) are up for the Brass Crescent Awards this year. I won this award two years ago, and I am glad they chose these three worthwhile bloggers this year. So if you have the time, please go here and vote for Baraka, Haleem and Suroor (last date Dec 18). Good luck to them!

An Interview

There's nothing like enjoying a three week vacation with no studies to worry about. It helps though that the weather has been really, really good! August is almost always a depressing month because summer is coming to an end (and as a sign of that, the CNE is here!).

I recently got interviewed by Ghazala Khan of the Pak Spectator here.

I don't have much to add here; will return with a new series of posts on Ramadan when it gets here, however, I do want to say one thing to the journalists.

The Beijing Olympics is over!!! Please don't bother me with articles about reminiscing on the Games, or "looking back", or a "review". It's over.

Blogmeet at Pickle Barrel

Me: Please, be good.

My Hair: No. I was good for two days.

Me: Really?

Hair: Yes. I was good on Friday because Nowal was coming to town and your friends were throwing a dinner. I was good on Saturday because you were attending Desifest and meeting other bloggers and friends there ...

Me: Aren't you redefining 'good'? You were barely tolerable yesterday ...

Hair: Chup! I was GOOD yesterday, check your pictures. But three days in a row is too much to ask.

Me: No please, I beg you. I am meeting some bloggers today for lunch, I need you to be good.

Hair: Sorry, apparently there is a hadith somewhere that you can only expect hospitality to continue for three days only. I have already accommodated you.

Me: So? Today is the third day. And as for that hadith ...

Hair: Sorry. You are not counting Thursday.

Me: What? I was at work! That doesn't count. Please.... I beg you. Be good today! I am meeting Liya and Ahmed for the first time...

Hair: Sorry. No can do. I am going to look like you slept in a tub of Dabur Amla oil.

Me: You know what. I am gonna drive at 140 km per hour on the highway and let the wind through and completely mess you up.

20 min later: Hair 1. Mezba 0. Rain 2.

SO I had lunch with Ahmed, Samosa, Isheeta, Ruby and Liya.

Excerpt 1:

Isheeta: So which way is Pickle Barrel?
Ruby: This way.
Me (under breath to Ahmed): And we follow directions from a woman ...
Ruby: I HEARD THAT.
Me: Uh oh.

Excerpt 2:

Liya: You are taking a picture of your lunch?
Me: Um, ya.... sorry, it's for my blog.

[something only bloggers will understand]

My lunch a.k.a. 'simulated crap' according to the waitress!

Seafood Salad.

So what can I tell you about those guys(and girls)? They are great. Exceptionally down to earth yet very good and kind hearted people - something that is very rare nowadays. For Liya, her students are lucky to have such a cool teacher. Samosa and Isheeta, you make a dynamic duo. Ahmed, I must say this, even as a straight guy, WHAT BICEPS yaar. And Ruby, you give very good directions.

Tasneem Khalil's Arrest

I was away in Ottawa so did not have the facilities to post on this - but as I write this, Tasneem Khalil has now been freed. It was an extra-ordinary 24 hours that saw the mainstream media in Bangladesh silent on the arrest of such a notable journalist, while it was his blogger colleagues around the world who rallied behind him and lobbied to secure his release. His crime - Khalil wrote a Human Rights Watch report about the elite Bangladeshi security forces and its alleged participation in torture and extra-judicial killings.

Both CNN and BBC carry a good background to his story. When the new military backed government took power in Bangladesh and vowed to root out corruption, all of us ordinary Bengalis rejoiced. We should have known "history repeats itself". When Musharref ousted Nawaz Sharif, the Pakistanis who were tired of corruption masquerading as democracy rejoiced at 'accountability in politics'. Today Pakistan is no better than it was on that fateful day when the military took over in Islamabad.

The only difference in Bangladesh is that the military is behind the scenes, hiding under the facade of a caretaker government that had long forgotten what its purpose was - to weed out corrupt politicians and hold democratic elections.

The English have a saying - 'absolute power corrupts absolutely'. It seems to fit Bangladesh aptly.

For more information and links visit Rezwan.

Beards - A Woman's Take

A guest blog post by Nowal.

So sure, you can now argue with me why the hijaab and beard are obligatory in Islam. Call me a firebrand, but I think beards are just ridiculous when they are worn as a sign of being a Muslim. Hijaabs as a gauge for your “Muslimity”, I understand and approve. I understand the moral and practical reasoning and I have seen the wonders it does for you (bad hair day masks). But let's take beards. Why do Muslims feel this compulsion to sport a beard, which btw, is NOT fard. It's wajib, or makruh or nafl. Not fard. So reasons, right:

1. The Prophet kept one. He asked his ummah to keep one.
Fair enough. It's Sunnah. More rewards if you keep one. It's like Tahajjud prayers or drinking fresh camel milk. You can use that extra sawaab.

2. Distinguishes you from the effeminate men.
Define effeminacy - "Effeminacy is character trait of a male showing femininity, unmanliness, womanliness, weakness, softness and/or a delicacy, which contradicts traditional masculine, male gender roles." (Google)

Let's tackle each of them separately, eh?

Femininity - women who have hirsutism have a massive amount of facial hair. Hirsutism could be congenital, hormonal imbalances (genetic or neoplastic reasons). So for those of you who have never walked past the women's toiletries aisle in Shopper's - go check out those upper lip wax strips and trimmers. A desi women's salon is a lesson in 101 ways of hair removal techniques. And laser hair removal was not just meant for removing chest hair people. Women have "beards" as well. Please read and learn.

Unmanliness/Womanliness - So manliness is a sign of courage and strength? A lion with his mane sits on his ass all day while the lionesses do the hunting. Or wait, is it ruthless fear? A manly man can induce fear into the hearts of everyone. If this, honestly, is your only reason for keeping that beard ... then dude, you need therapy.

Weakness/softness/delicacy - So our Muslim men should be strong/hard/tough? Is that what Islam is about?! Force and violence? Are they not allowed to be soft-cored? Well, apparently not. Muslim men = bearded = not effeminate = violent bulldogs.

Traditional masculine, male gender roles - varies according to culture. In most of the developed and developing nations, I doubt the man is placed under any circumstances to intimidate his business opponent using the aid of his curly, black mass hanging down from his chin. Well, fine. A more realistic scenario - do you think the Afghani militant sends the Canadian soldier off running because of his beard? No. It’s not the size of your beard that matters anymore, neither in the war zone, nor in the conference room. It’s the size of your weapon, be it your gun or your brain.

3. Distinguishes you from the pagans/Jews/Christians.
This was mentioned back in the day. I understand. A Sikh man, a rabbi and an imam came out of the pond together after taking a quick dip. 5 seconds. Identify who’s who.
4. Doesn't let you be a victim of your own vanity.
http://www.beards.org/ An entire website for your beard. How to groom it, what to apply on it, how to grow it to its maximal potential. Even comes with FAQs! We’re vain. Accept it ... what makes you think keeping a beard is not going to have you obsessively stare at your face in the mirror and apply olive oil once every week?! A clean-shaven man is much less so. Spend 5 minutes shaving off your morning shadow, dab on some of that antiseptic thing and off you go.

We’re Muslims. We’d rather obsess over moon-sightings than unite our dividing ummah. Trimming a beard so it’s less than a fist-length is haraam! Whose fist do we use as a reference? What if you shave it off because you have a crazy fungal infection growing there? Why ARE we making such a fuss out of the TRIVIAL things when our RELIGION is about to fall apart?

And while we are comparing and cooing over each other’s beards, Afghanistan and Darfur will self-demolish.

So what am I trying to get at? Long-winded as it may have been…the reasons why Muslim men justify keeping a beard are impractical. Except for numero uno. Do it because the Prophet did it. Don't do it because it makes you "more Muslim".

All that being said, some of my loved-ones have beards.

Meeting Up With IshyMosa

First, A Few Plugs:

A few friends of mine from McMaster University are involved with a project called Wake Up Bangladesh (Jaago Bangladesh) that aims to get rid of poverty by the metaphoric equivalent of teaching people to fish (skills workshops, education) rather than giving them the fish (charity). It's a great initiative, so do check out Jaago Bangladesh.

If you are in Toronto on March 16^th, 2007, and can speak Bengali, you MUST attend the University of Toronto's BSA show at Isabel Bader Theatre. Not only do you get to watch the best Bengali cultural show in town, you get to see ME on stage. One of my roles (even though it's only a minute) is called Disco Mullah #2. The other, longer, role is Tipu Bhai. Yes, that's all I can say now.

Forthcoming Posts:

Why I Don't Like Girls Looking For A Guy With Masters (it may have something to do with the fact that I don't have one).

My Cricket World Cup Preview (or why the Bangladesh Cricket captain should keep his mouth shut and focus on not embarrassing us).

On to other stuff:
I am beginning to hate this winter. Dry skin, chapped lips and what not. Yes, Doctor Nowal did prescribe some treatment (read: Petroleum Jelly) and they did work, but not on the day I was supposed to meet the heads of IshyMosa Productions! Oh quelle horreur!

We had a great dinner at Rainforest Cafe. I think I am in love - finally I discovered another restaurant that's open late at night other than Lahore Tikka House. I am telling you, that Karahi Gosht was beginning to get a little too repetitive.

We had seafood pizza. I didn't know such a thing existed. Plus lots of other stuff. Calamari. Shrimp. Must. Come. Back. 1 month of gym gone.

Intro:
Waitress: Where would you like to be seated please?
Samosa [with perfect straight face]: Near those screaming gorillas please.

Classic IshyMosa Moment:
Isheeta: That gorilla looks awfully like prospect #2 ...
Samosa: Well, as long as it's a doctor ...

Classic Me Moment:
Isheeta: So, where's your car?
Me: There! [points at the parking lot with thousands of cars]

What can one say about Isheeta and Samosa that has not been said already? They are exactly like their blogs - witty, funny, bubbly and very down-to-earth, honest, really COOL people.

Which reminds me. Next time for our bloggers meet - we must get more bloggers. All the bloggers on my sidebar, you are on notice!



I am just jealous of the huge marine aquarium they had there.

The New Me

The tiger has new stripes!

I know you like it, so pay compliments to designer Shazia Mistry.

The layout, the color schemes and the banners were all hers - all I did was offer criticism (that too at one in the morning!). So for your next web project, you know the right person to contact.

At the moment my dear blog is modeling her new dress for me, and I am just admiring her from afar. I wonder if Shazia is doing the same.

How I Celebrate Christmas, RIS Final Day

I would like to wish a very Merry Christmas to everyone.

Ten years ago when I landed in Canada from the Middle East I would not have said that. Call it my evolution over the decade I am in Canada but now I realize wishing someone well on their occasion of joy does nothing to diminish what is yours, but only adds to the mosaic that is ours. Yes some people may argue that Jesus (peace be upon him) was not really born on December 25, but you know, ultimately in this instance it's not what is right but what is good. And no one can deny that Christmas is a good time.

Yes, even though I may not celebrate Christmas in the religious sense as having a Christmas tree or going to church (I am a Muslim after all) I do enjoy the festive season. As the days get shorter and darker, as the temperature falls and a sense of gloom descends with the weather that will not falter until March, it's nice to slip into the malls and marvel and the embellished decorations and glitzy lights. It's fantastic to see crowds of people roving around with smiles on their faces. And yes, you can't deny it, people are generally in a better mood in December, and you can't but help being caught up in smiling and being festive - good behavior is infectious. Not to mention all the bargains that can be had.

Add to that all the free food you can eat at various Christmas parties and the sense that you are under no pressure (after all I don't have to buy gifts, look for and decorate a Christmas tree or have a dysfunctional family over for dinner) I would dare to say Muslims have a better time over Christmas than many Christians themselves!

Of course our Eid is coming up shortly (December 31) so there is that pressure to come. Fortunately we have Boxing Day (in Canada) in the middle (December 26) to shop for our gifts.

* * *

I hooked up with Nowal of Baby Brown Tales, and Isheeta. I asked Nowal before the conference if she was going to be a hijabi, and her reply? "I am not a hijabi and it would be hypocritical of me to be one for three days. When I do it, I will do it sincerely." Kudos. Nowal, you deserve all the poetry written for you.

As for Isheeta, well what can I say. The girl is one fun desi. She is like her blog, spontaneous and fun and so refreshingly genuine. She had the greatest smile. Isheeta seemed to have a great time at the conference, and persuaded me join CAMP to boot. In spite of all the chaos, she and I managed to run into each other. She looked radiant and was so modest too. I had a great time talking to her. OK I will shut up about the girls now.

Also hooked up with Jafar (he had a blog before but now is publishing editor of the Bengali Chronicle). He reads my blog! I feel so humble. Not to mention a bit... egoistic. Shame shame. Must not be arrogant. Hai Allah! What have I learned in the three days?

* * *

The final day of RIS was also one of the best. I really had a good time over RIS this year. Call it a combination of meeting various interesting people, hearing supremely good speakers who gave genuinely good and inspiring speeches, I left the convention feeling genuinely proud of being Muslim, following Islam and being a Canadian. I am a Western Muslim, not a Muslim living in the West. At this conference I heard from a rabbi, a collection of imams and even a Christian. How many Islamic conferences in the lands of Islam can claim that? Not to mention there was an "Islamic" concert (but that is a story for another day).

Sheikh Abdullah ibn Bayyah started talking on the virtue of moderation. It was just too bad he could not speak in English. So he talked in Arabic for 15 minutes, before Sheikh Hamza Yusuf translated for us, and the process was repeated a few times.

I know some people complained about the need for Bayyah to speak at all, but I beg to differ. Think about it for a minute. The man is 80. He is going on Hajj after the conference. He travelled thousands of miles from Saudi to Canada, just to give a couple of speeches, and then fly back the next day. The man was genuinely enjoying his time here, and he is a scholar's scholar. All the present day moderates learnt from him. He clearly loves this young crowd and has a vast treasure trove of knowledge to share. While listening to him, I did not feel it was too bad he didn't know English. I felt it was too bad I didn't know Arabic. His talk was criss-crossed with examples and truly the man is a gem. It is too bad he will be marginalized in Saudi power circles because he speaks the truth.

He talked about how the soul has a tendency to go to one extreme or the other and struggle for Muslims is to find the middle ground where we assimilate the good of other societies but hold steadfast to our resolute values. He talked about why Shariah law is more than just what it is made out to be and why it is not necessary for minorities. He talked about the danger of treating laws as absolute. For example, it was a time of severe draught and people started to steal. So Umar, the tough one, actually relaxed the punishment of theft because of the circumstances. This was just one example that stuck in my mind, he gave lots of examples.

Tareq Ramadan as usual was great and me, as usual, was out doing something else so I missed most of his talk. Bad, bad me.

Tareq Suwaidan as usual was charismatic and very, very good. He gave a talk of the four rulers after Muhammad (peace be upon him) and the lessons we can learn from them. He also talked about how Islam is a river and not a line.

Islam is a river because a river has boundaries and once you step out of those bounds you are out of Islam. But once you are in the river itself, anything within those boundaries is Islam. So this is Islam, that is Islam and that is also Islam. This is why terro rist groups are so bad, they have a strict understanding (a wrong one too) of Islam and anyone who disagrees with them is a non Muslim and target for terro rism. Islam is a river and that river moves, ebbs and flows with time. It is flexible, and changes and adapts with times. Once that constant reformation is gone, so is the power of our Islam.

The final session, by Imam Zaid Shakir and Sheikh Hamza Yusuf, was mind blowing, in particular by Yusuf. It just ROCKED. You had to be there. The men made you feel proud of who you are, confident as to where you are, and conscious of where you want to be. I am going to have to buy the conference DVD when it comes out.

So all in all, three very well spent days.

RIS 2006 Days 1 and 2

I am having too much fun at RIS.

First, there are the bloggers. I met a couple of bloggers I wanted to meet for some time now. And then, there were the blog readers.

Imagine if you will, me standing right outside the prayer hall, after the prayers, waiting for my friends. I being less religious of course had prayed faster, hence the reason I was waiting. And suddenly, from nowhere, this girl comes into the picture.

“Hey you are Mezba right? I read your blog! I LOVE that blog.” (And don’t worry, the next sentence was “So does my husband!”)

Repeat twice and all of this was already worth the $40 admission fee.

Sheikh Hamza Yusuf was genuinely funny. He followed the rabbi (who was good but dragged a bit near the end). When talking about the level of corruption in Muslim countries, Yusuf said that most of the world’s top corrupt countries were Muslim countries. In fact, Nigeria and Pakistan constantly tussled for the position of the no. 1 corrupt country. He joked that Nigeria only won because they bribed Pakistan for it.

He also talked about how Muslims love conspiracy theories.

“We all learned that Humpty Dumpty fell from the wall and all the King’s Horses and Men tried to put him together, but they couldn’t. In the Muslim world, they believe Humpty didn’t fell, he was pushed. And all the King’s Horses and Men just pretended to try to put him together again.”

Then there was Dr Tariq Ramadan. You would have loved him Suroor! In fact, my commentator Mango Addict and I think he secretly reads your blog. He spoke about ALL the issues you blogged about for the last few days - women’s space in the mosque, the bad treatment towards converts, wives’ rights, minority rights, racism amongst Muslims, inferiority complex of non-Arab Muslims and the superior religious value placed on Arabic items, and so on. His best quote I liked was “We Muslims spend too much time idealizing the past and dreaming about the future, while doing nothing about the present.”

Dr Tareq Suwaidan the charismatic Kuwaiti sheikh was present too. He talked about how the Prophet was also an ordinary human being, and cited an example of where one his wives was so angry with him (her husband) that she did not speak to him from the morning to the evening, and refused to do what he asked her to do. I can so imagine Isheeta commenting here “wow even the prophets had issues with women!”

Then there was Robert Fisk (world famous war correspondent), Haroon Siddiqui (editor in chief of the Toronto Star), Dr Quick (a renowned scholar of Africa who spoke about Darfur) and so on. Some of the speakers do tend to get a bit long winded but over all it was a stellar line up.

Dr Quick’s speech on the first day of how Euro-centric our manipulation of history has become was specially interesting. He said Colombus could not have discovered America in 1492 as there were already people living here. It’s like, he explained, him landing in Toronto today and claiming “I discovered you.” It puts great emphasis on the Europeans as civilized beings and the achievements of the aboriginals as something not noteworthy. He said history records the Dark Ages, yet the light was not off in Asia, Arabia, Northern Africa, Spain during the Dark Ages, they had enlightenment.

So what did I learn from the first two days?

Well, first, some beautiful people read my blog (and their husbands).

Second, those bloggers I met are really nice and super cool people.

Third, ok, sunnah is really important, but what is important is not the ritualistic act but the message and spirit behind the act. For example, when the Prophet put on Yemeni suit for greeting a diplomat, it doesn’t mean a Muslim diplomat had to put on a Yemeni suit to greet a diplomat but rather the fact that the Prophet put on his smartest looking suit to greet foreign dignitaries that is important.

Fourth, and this was really humbling. Four of us decided to pray Isha earlier than the scheduled congregation time, so we could leave early. I became imam and led the prayer for three of my friends. When I finished saying the salam, I turned around and saw that over 50 people had joined our little jamaat.

Woah!

Fifth, Union Station is really crazy at night. I overheard one girl say to another, “he is one sexy girl.”

Tag-e-Suroori

I have been tagged by Suroor. She wants to know six weird things about me. Hmm. My first weird thing is when I get tagged I change the rules of the tag. So let me tell you about the six weirdest things I have ever done.

1. WALKED down Blue Mountain. Yes, people go there to ski, usually. That was my plan. The very first time I went skiing, with a few other beginner friends, someone thought it would be a funny joke to tell us that black diamonds were the beginner trails. After getting sick of falling two seconds after spending five minutes trying to stand up, I took off my skis, swung them over my shoulder and walked, WALKED, down the hill. Took me three hours and 10 lbs, and I invented a lot of new swear words. Now of course I LOVE skiing.

2. Drove nine hours to Indianapolis. Right after spending the previous evening watching Star Wars Revenge of the Sith with friends till midnight, then playing cards and hanging out till 4 am, before catching just an hour's nap. I was the sole driver. Oh boy was I half hungover by the time we got to the Indy.

3. Decided not to go to an India-Pakistan game when they were playing in Toronto. If that wasn't crazy enough, it was that game. The one where Inzamam took a bat and went up the stands to beat up the fan who kept calling him "Aloo".

4. Prayed to avoid kissing a girl and almost kissed a guy. OK this deserves a bit more explanation.

I did a CPR certification while in college, when I volunteered for the local community, and part of my duties was supervision of the kids' swimming pool. So we are all paired up, and then the instructor starts talking about Mouth-to-Mouth-and-Nose Resuscitation, or the kiss-of-life. My partner was this blond girl, and then the instructor says there will be a practical at the end of the course.

It was at that stage in life where I avoided girls like the plague, and all of a sudden I have to touch, no, do MOUTH-TO-MOUTH to a girl? So I said a silent prayer.

And what happens, she misses the practical, and the instructor partners me with this Indian GUY. Holy shit.

Thankfully, we didn't have to do that practical, but the instructor had us say what we would do. Man was that guy ever graphic.

"I would first clean his nose way .... Vada vada vada... then I would put my mouth over his and cover his .... vada vada vada..."

And all the time I was thinking man if you were ever drowning in the pool and I knew I would have to give you the kiss of life to save you, I would rather you die...

5. Took a music course during university as a 'birdie' course. I think it was the same friend who told me black diamonds were easy that told me this course was smooth sailing.

We had a listening comprehension during the exam. They would play a piece and then ask you if the piece used four violins or five.

Thank God for the Chinese guy sitting in front of me ...

6. And the number 6 on the list of weird things I did...

Compiling a list of 5 other weird things I did and post them up on the web.

There! I don't usually tag people but seeing that these two would complete the set of prominent Canadian Bengali bloggers, I decided to tag Nowal and the Bengali Fob.

A Chuckle, and A "Hmmm"

A couple of chuckle posts before I publish my mega rant that will leave (some) girls fuming (to put it mildly). The mega rant is called Why Desi Guys Go Back 'Home' To Marry. So before I do that (sometime after our halal-now-turning-into-makruh bachelor party), here's something to munch on.

First Chuckle: We bloggers really have too much free time. At least at 12.20 am when the rest of the world is sleeping, a doctor messages a systems analyst online. And this is the result.

Second Chuckle (well, not really but): If you are thinking of marrying an Indian man, you may want to read this.

(Maybe this is why Malaysian women prefer Bangladeshi men and not Indian boys)