Tuesday, May 01, 2007

The Aunty's Gripe

I thought this only happened in an old joke, but the following incident truly occurred!

An Aunty had come to visit Mom. Following is a snippet of their conversation.

"So, has your new daughter-in-law moved in?" Mom asked. She didn't know what she was getting into. "Didn't she get admitted to Ryerson?"

"Oh, yes. She did." Aunty replied, straightening herself into 'complain' mode. "You know, sometimes I wish we had spent a little bit longer in getting my son married. We should have continued to look at more prospects!"

"Oh?" Mom tried to fake polite disinterest as she realized where this conversation was heading. Aunty didn't take the hint.

"Yes," she continued. "My daughter-in-law, what can I tell you about her. LAZY NO. 1."

"Ah."

"Yes! She doesn't even get up in the morning to make breakfast for my son! I mean, he has to make his own cup of tea and sandwich and go to work. She doesn't even make lunch for him! Sleeps till 9 o'clock, can you imagine? This is what I get for bringing a girl from Bangladesh!"

"Well ..." Mom was trying, to no avail, to steer the conversation away.

"And another thing," Aunty was on a roll. "You'd think she'd prepare a home cooked dinner for him, but no! Every other day they are going out to eat! I mean, we are home! Sometimes they should eat with us!"

"I heard," Mom finally cut in, "your son-in-law is a gem."

"Oh, absolutely!" Aunty positively started beaming. "He's one in a million. He loves my daughter so much! Princess - that's what he calls her! He doesn't even let her wake up in the morning, says a 'princess needs her beauty sleep' - so cute! Gets up early in the morning to pray Fajr, and makes wonderful tea, and when I visit he makes me my morning tea too! My daughter lives in luxury. You know how good a cook my daugher is, but even then he takes her out for dinner every other day! Such a LOVING husband!"

23 comments:

Em said...

Salaam.
Disgusting, but true. There's a saying in Bangla -- maa shashuri hole ek chokh kana hoye jai -- that roughly translates as a mother losing stereoscopic/ balanced vision when she becomes a mother-in-law.

Much as I hate this, this phenomenon is prevalent enough to merit its use in the estimation of complicated empirical models of intrahousehold allocation -- it turns out to be an excellent instrumental variable! Although in my field of study we take it as an established fact, I'm sure sociologists have a theory or other to explain why this happens. I would guess some modification of a son preference/jealousy framework. Hmm...

Anonymous said...

Hehehehe!And YOU thought that this happens in dreams???No mom sees any fault when her daughter is THE princess but if it's her DIL,well, that's another story! LOL!Alhamdullilah, my MIL was a gem, very rare, I might add,may Allah rest her soul in peace.Amin. She always showed me how to make stuff and was always making nice things for me and my daughter when we went back home to visit. Well, my other friend has started to get so stressed out as her MIL is soon to arrive in August. Let's hope it all goes well coz she is expecting and the MIL is to come during her 9th month for a visit.(And no,she says she doesn't help her out) sf

'liya said...

Wow... :S

I don't know what to say!

Farah said...

This is hilarious! I hope I get a spouse like her daughter!

L said...

HaHaHaHaHa. Double standards, you gotta love them :)

I have this serious fear of getting married and ending up with a mother-in-law who hates me. It seems like all MIL's hate their DIL's. I really don't get why. I hope I don't end up like that.

mousehunter said...

Haha, I always tell Shaz that the joke is about my mom...lol. But this Aunty sounds much worse!

singlemuslimah said...

hahaha This is just twisted.

I Said: I too have a fear of having a MIL that hates me.

youngmuslimah said...

LOL. I've the same thing to say, mom's lose their balanced vision when they become MIL's.

Maliha said...

Salamaat,
HAHAHA...is this for real?! OMG it's hilarious!

sabrina said...

You know Mezba, that was such one amusing way to take me back in time. I used hear these things almost on a daily basis when I wsa in Dhaka, and so many aunties would talk. IN my case, of course, it was the "outsiders" that would talk crap about a newly wed bride. Thankfully i have only seen good mothers-in-law that are usually very happy/content with their daughter in law.

Ok, I wanted to say something else, but went off on a tangent. i think it was absolutely brilliant of your mom to have thought about "precious son-in-law" and make the "aunty" stop indulging in backbiting. I need to learn how to "change topic" in a smart way so that I don't have to listen to "gheebah". Maybe it will come with experience! =)
And the beginning of your post reminded me of a famous/popular (or not) saying (by some scholar) that all backbiting starts with "How is so-and-so?" It can be disastrous. I never realized what the saying meant until I became more vigilant about how someone responds to a question like, "How is so and so?"

I am looking at a totally different direction, aren't I? :P

mystic-soul said...

wht is ryerson....link took me to someone else blog...

Ahmed said...

haha thats funny, but its also like...wow, what a double standard.....and totally blind to what they're saying as well. It like a bit out of a movie or something.

Athena said...

Just disgusting.

sonia said...

Brilliant observation Mezba! you are a gem you :-)

i might have to link to this - i've always found this ( what i call schizophrenia or split brain syndrome..) the most striking feature of women keeping up the dual role of oppressor/oppressed-victim..

mezba said...

Em: I have to say this - Bengalis have a way with sayings!

I didn't get the 'instrumental variable part' but I will take your word for it :-P

Sf: That's such a beautiful story! Everyone should get a mother-in-law like yours.

Liya: At least you know V's mom - not many people should be like this Aunty I guess.

Farah: hmm...

L: (or is it 'I'?) true that. Well, you can always 'move' to your own place you know - but just make her tea in the morning and she should be happy :-P

Mousehunter: oho this is typical.

SingleMuslimah: I wanted to come out and say something, like 'aunty are you sure your daughter is a good cook?' but then thought better of it.

Youngmuslimah: some more than others.

Maliha: this is for real. I couldn't believe it too!

Sabrina: Yes, some women are just expert at backbiting! And I think it's more of a women disease than men, we men mostly keep our troubles (as well as troubles with someone else) mostly to ourselves. Oh no what have I started here?

Mystic-soul: that ryerson link was for Shazia, it was a series of clues spread across the blogosphere leading to this.

Ahmed: It sure should be in a script... at least for a tv show!

Athena: If you ever get a MIL like that you should yell your line from our play ...
'ki dekhte chaan bolen? naaker jaigai naak ache ...'

mezba said...

Sonia, thanx.

Anonymous said...

Women are soooo lazy these days...whats a mother to do?

The Bengali Fob said...

That's funny. I wonder if i'm going to be like that...

ABCDlaw said...

Seriously. OMG that aunty so reminds me of someone I know. Sad na?

Athena said...

"...ar mukher jayegaye mukh ache...all the better to bite you with evil MIL." :P

qdee said...

lol, your poor mum :) all of us gals have to live up to such high standards..and its never enough sometimes..
great blog!!

Suroor said...

Lazy no. 1!!!!!!! haha! Cute moto aunty. I could kill her!

mezba said...

Anon: they are LAZY no. 1!

Bfob: you mean aunty or the wife? :-P

Abcdlaw: lol.. ya it is so typical it's so sad.

Athena: hehe...

Qdee: thank you.

Suroor: haha I believe you!