Friday, April 06, 2007

Good Friday Jummah Rant

Today, on Good Friday, when everyone is home because it's a holiday, it's NOT a good idea to be the last person to use the shower. Zero hot water. Dancing In The Shower takes on a whole new meaning.

Usually my policy of Jummah used to be Last Person In First Person Out. On Good Friday, with half of Toronto deciding to go to our mosque, it's Last Person In, First Person To Get A Parking Ticket.

If there are new ways to be stupid the Muslim community will find it. Even if it is the usually well organized Islamic Foundation. Today, as we were leaving the prayers, one volunteer stood in front of one stairway.

"No, you can't exit from here." He said adamantly. "The sisters use that gate."

To give you an idea, we were on the first floor, the "sisters" were on the ground floor. The stair he was blocking led from the first floor to the ground floor to an exit. So we were forced to take the longer route and this led to jams and lots of pushing and shoving and unintentional touching of body parts in an inappropriate manner.

Apparently, if I use the same door as a girl, to get out of the mosque, it's a sin. Even though I may have seen a woman elsewhere minus her hijab, the sight of her, IN A MOSQUE, dressed in full Islamic garb, is so alluring to me as a man, that I may not be able to control myself.

And what do most men do? As soon as they exit, they come around to the same gate to wait for their wives and daughters to exit so they may walk to the car together!

PS. Is it just me, but whenever I see an Easter Bunny, I want to eat a rabbit? I guess being brought up in the Middle East, I learnt to eat all types of exotic meat. Anything tastes good with homous!

18 comments:

isheeta said...

Did you know rabbits/bunnies eat their own poo?

Yeah, just thought I'd throw that in.

:D

'liya said...

Mezba, you should know by now that if men and women exit the mosque through the same exit we'll have young people falling in love left, right, and centre, clothes will be ripped off, mouths will meet for long passionate kisses, and babies will be made before you could make it out of the parking lot!!!

I don't know why Muslims make such big deals out of the littlest things. Sometimes I feel like leaving through the men's exit on purpose just for once, you know, just to see what all the fuss is about. These kinds of things annoy me emmensely because it's so pointless.

mousehunter said...

OMG, I SOOO HEAR YOU. I was at Brampton Sunnatul today, and being a Holiday it was packed, and I had to park quite far. Shaz's cousin, not realizing what time jummah was at this masjid, showed up an hour early, which meant a parking spot in the parking lot. So to start things off, the Khateeb gave a long khutbah, which ended in salat with lots of crying kids, which ended in somebody fainting after salat. Imagine the commotion! On top of that they were having food fair in the hall part AND second jummah started in 15 minutes.

To end it all my cousin (who was giving me a ride back to my van) was blocked in (as were 3 other cars). When the guys finally showed up, I asked why they took sooo long knowing they were blocking other people. His reply was "what is blocking? this is a parking lot!" At times like that I wish I ran a towing service! Why do muslims lack common courtesy at times?!?! Grrrr. Ok...gotta calm down...I will stop.

saqi namah said...

>> Apparently, if I use the same door as a girl, to get out of the mosque, it's a sin.

I just wanted to announce that I am back (notice the new url) and it seems that while I way away, Mezba you have strayed away from the TRUE path of the Al-Blogi sect. Men and women using the same door to exit the masjid, this is so bad. I wonder what will you say next - that husand and wife are actually allowed to live the same house. What an innovation!

Anonymous said...

OMG!All this drama in the mosques??hehehehe. Some pple just want to be "heroes" and they just suck at it! Now,as you mentioned there was lots of pushing/shoving/touching which is not good at all(that had me cracking up!). I haven't eaten a rabbit yet, I remember my husband's uncle who got invited while in saudia and had shorba with rabbit(btw,is it good?)sf

saqi namah said...

This is just for you.

http://saqinamah.wordpress.com/2007/04/07/segregation-of-the-sexes/

Athena said...

Leave the bunnies alone you filthy bunny killer :@

Rawi said...

"whenever I see an Easter Bunny, I want to eat a rabbit?"

Eww. Rabbits are too pretty to kill and eat, no?

Shoaib Muhammad said...

Anything with Humus does taste good!!

Atleast you had shoving in your mosque, at our mosque(Markham Masjid) the new hall adjacent to the existing hall had BOSE speakers that did not transmit the IMAM's voice over to us, thus we were sitting in a quite hall till 2:15 thinking when on earth will the khutba start and all this time the IMAM was actually reciting the khutba!!

What a beginning to Good friday!!!!!!!

mezba said...

Isheeta: really? I so did NOT need to know that!

Liya: Goodness, that's all that happens? I MUST be protected from the female species then.

Making a mountain out of a molehill is the hobby of Muslims.

Mousehunter: A food fair on the busiest Jummah day with one entrance. I am sure to someone somewhere at some time it must have sounded like a brilliant idea. Your parking lot experience is just too ridiculous - those guys need a whack in the head.

Saqi: haha. I am going to check out your link.

Sf: Rabbits are great and tasty - especially bunnies. I have to ask someone if they are halal (I think they are).

Athena: :=D

Rawi: It's still meat!

Shoaib: Hilarious! I was actually thinking of going down to that mosque given the crowd at Nugget. Now glad I didn't.

Suroor said...

I love tasty bunnies! And you are so funny, Mezba. I love humour in a man :)

mezba said...

Suroor: Finally! Someone else who loves bunnies!

Sonia said...

heh good one. ( not about the rabbits though! the poor fluffy lil things..)

'liya makes a funny point.


seriously though - such a dirty minded bunch - it's always made me sick. I'm afraid i've never liked mosques because they do just look at you as if you were DIRT.

Hamza said...

Do you know the set up of Islamic foundation?
here are some errors in your post
1) No one has ever said that entrance or exits cannot be mixed gender, where a man exiting from a woman's entrance is some how in sin. That was your assumption.
2) At islamic foundation, many women pray on the 2nd floor (since you are last to enter first to leave you may have noticed that there is an upstairs gallery for women), where the only stair case to leave is the one the brother was blocking. The first floor with the brothers have 2 exits.
3)Lets face it men do shove and push, and yes there are losers out there who would overstep women and children just to run to their car.

So overall, not all the information was presented, there was no sensitivity shown towards the reality but rather an idealistic utopian view where you are king and masjid staff are your minions, a mountain was made out of a mole hill (the stairs is literally 10 steps from the main entrance) and your bobble headed friends simply agreed with you without question. I expected better from you, but the response from your friends is kinda typical.

mezba said...

Sonia: I can understand what you are feeling. For a conservative bunch we sure obsess a lot about sex.

Hamza:
No one has ever said that entrance or exits cannot be mixed gender
Actually the mosque people said that. That was the only reason they wouldn't allow men to exit from that gate, "because the sisters were using it".

At islamic foundation, many women pray on the 2nd floor
Not on that day. On Easter Friday, the first floor had men as well.

Lets face it men do shove and push, and yes there are losers out there who would overstep women and children just to run to their car
So wouldn't the bright idea be to allow people to leave as efficiently as possible?

the stairs is literally 10 steps from the main entrance
It wasn't. Due to the crowd, the fact that people were getting their shoes, the fact that they were selling Biryani and Popeyes near the entrance, the fact that two ministers were greeting people at the entrance, it took 40 minutes to exit because there was only ONE entrance.

bobble head friends
You are free to disagree with me and note any criticism but you will refrain from insulting my friends.

Hamza said...

ah the pick and choose methodology

1) The argument about men and women leaving different entrances is an issue of logistics, not theology. The point i was trying to make that the fact you said it was a "sin" indicates a theological issue, and some of your buddies ran with it by making sarcastic claims about men and women being unable to live in the same house.

2)Did you even read what I said? WOMEN PRAY ON THE SECOND FLOOR. above the men, this is regardless of what holiday it may or may not be (this includes this easter). The point i was trying to make was that on the FIRST FLOOR where MEN PRAY there are 2 exits, one large one which leads to the stairs in the front (which is usually used) and smaller ones on the side, which lead to the SECOND FLOOR (remember where the women are) and to the ground floor. Now in terms of the second floor, there is one exit which is the small staircase which leads from second floor to the first floor and then to the bottom floor. Now if a stream of men were exiting from the first floor to the ground, then it would be super difficult for the women coming from upstairs to exit. Maybe you should go down there someday and actually check out the make up of the building to get a better idea of why in a situation where there are thousands of people there is a LOGISTICAL reason to guide people to different entrances.

3) Yeah it would be a bright idea to let a crowd of men exit via the only exit the sisters have and thus block them, or worse if some sisters decide to brave the mob there maybe injuries. But hey if it was up to you, you might save a little bit of time to get to your car, while your mom or sister may get a black eye.

4)Meh, patience is a virtue. But in all reality you are like those uncles at those dawaats who complain about the smallest things without realizing why these things are in place and not even lifting a finger to perhaps make it better. But here's a challenge, how about you email islamic foundation and ask them why they do this and perhaps make some suggestions. I would be quite interested in their response.

Based on my observations the real reason why they are so strict about exits, especially on holidays at Islamic foundation is cause of safety, and I hate to say this buddy, but the safety of others far outweighs how fast you get to your car.

mezba said...

Once again Hamza, like any other Islamist, you can't take valid criticism of an Islamic institution and make long points just to avoid to getting to the main issue raised here.

The argument about men and women leaving via different entrances is NOT logistics - it was mainly for theological reasons that the mosque decided we cannot use the same entrance to exit. I don't know whether they think it's a sin or not - but the fact is they wouldn't allow men to leave via that entrance because "the sisters were using it".

Woman may have prayed on the second floor, but not on that day. Regardless of whatever you decide to capitalize, that day (get it - THAT DAY) men prayed on first AND second floor. WOMEN PRAYED ON THE GROUND FLOOR.

Now if a stream of men were exiting from the first floor to the ground, then it would be super difficult for the women coming from upstairs to exit.

Ya why? Like any other Islamist you give women special status as "flowers" or "pearls" or whatever. Give women some credit - they have been toughing it out on the crowded bus and streets and I am sure exiting a mosque is peanuts.

Based on my observations the real reason why they are so strict about exits, especially on holidays at Islamic foundation is cause of safety, and I hate to say this buddy, but the safety of others far outweighs how fast you get to your car

Ya safety. OK. If you have seen the jam created due to a STUPID THEOLOGICAL reason, oh wait you are an Islamist - I shouldn't confuse you with facts.

sonia said...

well said mezba..