Monday, May 31, 2010

Reaction to Gaza aid ship deaths - Translated

Source: BBC - Reaction to Gaza aid ship deaths

WHITE HOUSE SPOKESMAN WILLIAM BURTON
"The United States deeply regrets the loss of life and injuries sustained, and is currently working to understand the circumstances surrounding this tragedy."

What it means:
Thank God no one's talking about BP today. Those damn bastards better find a way to plug that oil well today. They got one more day now.

BAN KI-MOON, UN SECRETARY-GENERAL
I am shocked by reports of killings and injuries of people on boats carrying supplies for Gaza. I condemn this violence.

It is vital that there is a full investigation to determine exactly how this bloodshed took place. I believe Israel must urgently provide a full explanation.

What it means:
I am not shocked at all by the killings. Just sad. Israel as we expected. Time for a trip to New York to head this "investigation". I wonder if my wife has to do some shopping while I am there.

OFFICE OF BARONESS ASHTON, EU HIGH REPRESENTATIVE FOR FOREIGN AFFAIRS
High Representative Catherine Ashton expresses her deep regret at the news of loss of life and violence and extends her sympathies to families of the dead and wounded. On behalf of the European Union, she demands a full inquiry about the circumstances in which this happened.

She reiterates the European Union's position regarding Gaza - the continued policy of closure is unacceptable and politically counterproductive

What it means:
Israel's blockade is bad. We condemn it. That's all the US will allow us to say.

AMR MOUSSA, ARAB LEAGUE SECRETARY-GENERAL
The Arab League's Secretary-General has called for an urgent meeting at the level of representatives to look into this heinous crime committed by Israeli forces against unarmed civilians that left scores of dead and wounded.

The Arab League strongly condemns this terrorist act.

What it means:
We who are without balls can all gather to watch the World Cup together.

WILLIAM HAGUE, UK FOREIGN SECRETARY
I deplore the loss of life during the interception of the Gaza flotilla.

We have consistently advised against attempting to access Gaza in this way, because of the risks involved. But at the same time, there is a clear need for Israel to act with restraint and in line with international obligations.

This news underlines the need to lift the restrictions on access to Gaza.

What it means:
Arabs, please continue to do your "Islamic banking" with us. See? We criticized Israel, as you asked. We will join you at the World Cup party.

MAHMOUD AHMADINEJAD, IRANIAN PRESIDENT
The inhuman action of the Zionist regime against the Palestinian people and preventing the humanitarian aid from reaching Gazans does not show this regime's strength, but is a sign of its weakness, and all this brings this sinister and fake regime closer than ever to its end.

What it means:
It's the Jews.

What it really means:
The inhuman action of the "clerical" regime against the Iranian people and preventing the universal values of freedom from reaching Iranians does not show this regime's strength, but is a sign of its weakness, and all this brings this sinister and fake regime closer than ever to its end.

TONY BLAIR, MIDDLE EAST ENVOY FOR THE INTERNATIONAL QUARTET
I express deep regret and shock at the tragic loss of life. There obviously has to be a full investigation into what has happened.

What it means:
I still have a job.

MARK REGEV, ISRAELI PRIME MINISTER'S SPOKESMAN
Though our naval servicemen were instructed to exercise maximum restraint, they were attacked. They were attacked with knives, with iron clubs, and also with live fire.

We have unfortunately 10 servicemen injured, one of them very, very seriously. The violence was initiated unfortunately by these activists, and this is regrettable.

What it means:
When I say this is regrettable, I mean this is a Public Relations nightmare. It will be that much harder to get donations for the Holocaust Museum now. Actually, it won't, but you know what I mean.

What it really means:
We don't care about any international law or treaty. And we are right because we said so. If you don't agree you are an anti-Semite.

21 comments:

iMuslim said...

{applause}

Masha'Allah - spot on.

Azra said...

I feel a little guilty but this was hilarious. You'd think that in the 21st century, when everyone KNOWS that everyone else is lying or trying to cover their backsides, that things would somehow be "different"... we've been through this Apartheid before - I don't see why everyone is so keen on re-living the past... surely the world is not that blind? Anyways, I always think that these events merely fulfill a prophecy. Now I have to get married before the damn world ends! lol :D

amad said...

good one on BP... that actually MAY be a respite.

i can already see Congress working on a Bill to cheer Israel for ONLY killing 19 out of 600. That's only a 3% loss.

mezba said...

iMuslim, thank you. I pray for the families of all affected by this conflict that shows no signs of abating.

Azra, I just wish the other governments in the area had the balls of Turkey. Yes, it does look like the end of the world is nearer (as a statistical anecdote, that's a true fact! :-D )

amad, will be sad if the bill is actually supported by the "muslim" congressmen. I just visited D.C. and admire the way their political system is set up, but I think it's broken.

As for BP, I could not believe my ears when the CEO (or some bigshot there) said it's a big ocean. When is exactly the point when someone stops caring for ethics in pursuit of $, I wonder?

Muslim Girl said...

Such a sad/maddening story, but I like your hilarious take on it :)

Anonymous said...

Stuffs like this happening and world condemning them is oft-repeating.When will countries really do what they say,only God knows.It's sad that real victims are allowed to continue to suffer immensely from poverty and without a home.

Lat

Yawar said...

Any chance all these people really meant what they said? Just a thought.

Naeem: said...

@Yawar, nope, not a chance. Simply not in their DNA, nor in their interests to mean what they say.

Azlin said...

There are 11 Malaysians in that convoy. We are waiting for the latest update as there are no contacts so far.

Zerin said...

As usual, succinct and to the point. Echoing Azra, I also feel guilty laughing at this, but can't be helped :-)

Nadia said...

I think this was the first time I'd laughed since reading about this very unfortunate event.

mezba said...

Muslim Girl, I am just sad that this is probably true! Looks like the group will try again with another flotilla. The Turks have some balls!

Lat, the Arabs have it in their power to ensure justice for the Palestenians. But their leaders are not interested, it seems.

Yawar, nope. Then all hell would break loose. Sad and ironic, that in a democracy if our leaders spoke the truth they would not be elected!

Naeem, politicians!

Azlin, Hope they are fine.

Zerin, :-)

Nadia, hopefully they will be able to sustain the pressure on Israel.

MushuThaLohari said...

Word.

The Turks are indeed to be commended for their persistence. Wish our Arab lazy-ass "leaders" would activate themselves and take some action - but I guess it's going to be a very, very long wait.

May Allah make those who are standing up for the truth succeed. Aameen.

I'd like to ask for your permission to post this on my blog as well. I'd naturally put up a link to your blog and all. Would that be okay? (:

mezba said...

MushuThaLohari, hi, yes, as long as you source and link to this page ( http://mezba.blogspot.com/2010/05/reaction-to-gaza-aid-ship-deaths.html ), it should be fine with me.

MushuThaLohari said...

Jazaaka Allahu khayran, mezba! It will be up in a few minutes, insha Allah (:

And please do keep the great posts coming. I'm quite new to your blog, and am totally loving your sense of humour and the way you handle even the difficult issues (such as this one). I'm definitely going to stalk you...r blog! :3

mezba said...

MushuThaLohari , welcome!

Sara said...

Assalaam Alaikum Mezba,

New to your blog as well. I've been roaming around the blogsphere for a while now and am surprised I didn't come across yours. In any case, very entertaining read (though I feel a little guilty myself).

The first one is SO true lol.

mezba said...

Sara, welcome to my blog.

Sana said...

I'm a newbie
great post
IsraHell feels they regret what happened but they will never apologise for ''defending" themselves

Inadequate and Egotistical Ramblings of a Stranger! said...

such a GREAT post! totally agree with the "what it really means" statements. good job.

mezba said...

Sana, welcome to my blog.

IERS, thanks and welcome to the blog.