Friday, January 29, 2010

Halala Marriage on TV

Yesterday I was forced to watching television. There was some Pakistani drama on ARY. A woman who wanted a divorce from her husband finally got it. And then, after some time, she wanted to reconcile with her husband and her husband also wanted to marry again.

I knew where this was going.

According to "Islamic" laws, they could not just marry. Some OTHER man had to marry the girl, fuck her (the polite way of saying this is 'consummate the marriage') and then divorce her the next morning, so he (the original husband) can marry her again. They call this 'halala' marriage.

Even as I was seeing this on TV I could not believe I was actually watching this. THIS IS SO WRONG. Not only does this law NOT exist in Islam but I was shocked that this misconception was being promoted by ARY.

Let's get this straight.
A man loves a woman, who is his ex-wife. He wants to marry her.

She also loves him, and wants to remarry.

So they get a third person to fuck the woman and then divorce her, so they can remarry.
Does this even SOUND right?

Again, this is not Islamic law. And it is SO HARD when you talk to people from the subcontinent (read: desis). People from India, Bangladesh and Pakistan are some of the most ignorant people in religion. They have all these bullshit knowledge that they think is Islamic just because that's the way it was done.

And this halala knowledge falls into that category.

Today, I read Nadia's post and found she wrote (?) about a real life incident in the gulf like this.

Again, let's recap this.
WANTED: A man to fuck a woman for one night and divorce her immediately. Paid position. Immediately hiring.
Again, does it even sound right?

Then why is ARY promoting this bullshit? And why do many of our elders actually believe this poppycock?

Now let me get to WHY this misconception exists.
So if a husband divorces his wife (for a third time), he cannot, after that remarry her until after she has married another husband and he has divorced her. In that case, there is no blame on either of them if they re-unite, provided they can keep the limits ordained by Allah. Such are the limits ordained by Allah which He makes plain to those who know". (2:230)
First, please do NOT miss the 'third time'.

And second, the Prophet and others stressed that the woman has to be married to someone else in a NORMAL marriage. Not a marriage for the sake of divorce. It has to happen by circumstance.

And third, as Ali and many others have said, the man has to divorce the woman THRICE, in three different settings.

So, just to recap, for a woman divorced twice by the same guy, let's state this:

THERE IS NO BAR ON A MAN MARRYING HIS EX-WIFE BY DIVORCE.

For more info, just google 'halala and Islam'. Any cursory search will tell you it's wrong.

WRONG.

WRONG.

WRONG.

Despite all of this, why does it persist?

I leave you with the verdict of the Prophet of Islam.

"Allah has cursed the muhallil and the muhallal lahu." [narrator: Abu Dawood, classified sahi by Sunan Abi Dawood]

(muhallil is the one who marries a woman and divorces her so that she can go back to her first husband, muhallal lahu is the first husband)

The proper answer to a husband who has divorced his wife thrice should be that he can NEVER think of getting back together with her.

29 comments:

Farah said...

Was it Deewangi? I can't believe people still watch that crap!

mezba said...

That was fast! I just uploaded the post!

Er, I don't know for sure what serial it was ... just flipping channels during my dinner!

nadia said...

The one I had blogged about is a real story, and it seems that the practice of halala is not limited to desi people.

It's very sick, just thinking about it. And so very wrong.

mezba said...

Yup, I couldn't believe that in this day and age people still believe that kind of stuff!

You posting the story was my muse to post this post!

Anonymous said...

You are losing the meaning of the ayaat in translation. First off "three divorces" means saying "talaaq" three times. Secondly there is a difference of opinion amongst the scholars as to whether "talaaq" said three times in one sitting constitues a divorce or not. ONE DIVORCE, NOT THREE. Just to make it clear to you ONE DIVORCE = THREE TALAAQS.

Lastly there are two elements to halaala and if it is allowed or not. First is a marriage between two people valid if done after halala has taken place and the answer is YES. The second is, is halala allowed and the answer again is YES, however the people engaged in this type of thing would be sinful according to hadith you have pointed out.

Plus I really think you should avoid using the F word. It is not very becoming of a muslim...I hope you didn't misinterpret some more ayaat that somehow justifies you swearing.

mezba said...

Ah, another anonymous comment.

First, it's surprising you find swearing more offensive than the concept of "halala marriage".

Second, I can't get whether you agree with the halala marriage concept or not. If you do you are wrong.

mezba said...

The word fuck here is a verb, not a noun. Therefore it is not swearing.

lovetodaydream said...

yeah my ex husband and his family believed in this!!!

Honest Waffle said...

It's becoming far too common, and I've also heard of people who are 'living in sin' after the husband has given 3 talaaq, because 'well, he didn't mean it'

There is no tolerance nowadays, from men or women. The word is bandied about too easily. And yes the nature of talaaq is that Allah dislikes it, should be used as a last resort, not just bandied about when he's had an off day.

'liya said...

It's sad that this would be shown on TV portrayed as something Islamic and the proper way to go about doing things - imagine someone who doesn't know much about Islam watching this - they'd think we're nuts!

I think you should write a letter to the show to complain!

mezba said...

Lovetodaydream, that is so sad, that despite living in Spain, a first world nation with all its educations, he would believe in such rubbish!

Honest Waffle, from all accounts I have read, 3 talaks at the same time = 1 talak. The whole concept of using talak like this is medieval. Not to mention, I have heard that if uttered when not in senses it doesn't count. It's funny that getting married is a drawn out procedure and getting divorced is so easy!

Liya, exactly, and you know what, I think some of us ARE nuts! It's sad that they don't do a bit of research into their OWN religion!

DarkUFO said...

Test

Muslim Girl said...

Things like this don't even surprise me anymore, as sad as it is. I think Islam is really being lost nowadays... it's scary because the Prophet (SAW) said that one of the signs of the end of times is that people will say, "Our ancestors used to say 'la ila ha illa allah' so we repeat it," (i.e. Islam will have totally been lost). It seems like right now is when that stage is beginning, because no one even practices the REAL Islam anymore.

I even read once in a magazine how "temporary marriages" are really popular in countries like Iran, where a guy and a girl who want to date will get temporarily married, have sex, and then divorce so that it's "halal", and it can last as little as one hour to a day. Oh yeah - it's done by a fee from the male to the female.

I shudder to think what kind of world our children's children's children will be brought into.

Muslim Girl said...

Oh, and the comment you posted to Honest Waffle, I don't think getting married is a drawn out procedure.. I think we just make it drawn out. You just have to do nikkah and that's it.

In fact, getting divorce is more the drawn out procedure because a man can't say "I divorce you" to his wife 3x at the same time and think it's done.. it's only counted as one talaq, and you need 3 talaq's in total at entirely different points for it to be a valid divorce, no?

mezba said...

Dark UFO, thank you, the test worked. It seems like Hotmail is the problem.

Muslim Girl, you are right, people are incorporating strange things into Islam so it is becoming strange.

On the other hand, if you read Islamic history, you will see every generation before thought they were the last generation before Qiyamah! :-D

Muslim Girl, I think for a proper Islamic divorce you have say the talaq (or get khula) and be separated for the iddah period. After that you are divorced. It doesn't have to be repeated thrice.

After you are divorced, should you wish, you can go back to the same man. But that will have to be a new marriage (because it's after iddah).

Then if he divorces the woman, that's the second divorce. And so on, the third.

Organica said...

Hahaha

They have Egyptian movies made about the same topic. People are so dumb.

Baji said...

i wish more people talked about this! thanks for bringing this to ppl's attention.

Anonymous said...

Please take some time to read this.

It is extensize but please do take the time to read it in its entirety.

http://www.al-inaam.com/fataawa/three_talaaq.htm

mezba said...

Organica, so it's not just brown people who believe this. Sad!

Baji, thanks! As long as more people are informed of this stupidity it's better.

Anon, I would ask you to think of what you are saying.

First, Ali, the newphew of the Prophet and who the Prophet labelled Bab-al-Ilm (Gate of Knowledge) ruled that three talaqs in one setting is counted as one. Again, your article is going against that opinion.

Second, you are asking Muslims to go against common sense and logic with what is a halala marriage (which is what the article seems to be saying is the answer).

The correct answer to a husband who has divorced his wife thrice should be that he can NEVER think of getting back together with her.

Anonymous said...

I've put across this question about halala to a PR indian muslim.She told me that they still practice this ageing system in India but that it's not so common anymore.
A particular case proved too much for the local ullama to settle.The man hired for this temporary marriage refused to divorce his beautiful bride the next morning!

What's worse is that the bride found her newly wedded husband too good to let go!:D It was the talk of the entire village for months!

I was rather confused when I first heard of this halala marriage.Why would a husband remarry his wife so many times? Sound so ridiculous!
Lat

Safiyyah said...

A verb, not a noun lol!

Anyhow, it's amazing, the behavior of some Muslim people these days. The culture is so ingrained that they don't know the difference between it and the deen :(

mezba said...

Lat, that's hilarious. I have always wondered why a man would want another man to 'do the deed' with his wife!

Safiyyah, yup. That is why more knowledge and education is needed. And this why that television program propagating false ideology is harmful.

Faaz said...

Salaam Mezba

I have read your blog for a few months on and off, you do have a gift for writing and some of your posts are hilarious, I have never commented on any of your posts, but this one I couldnt ignore, reading this posts, it seems you dont have much knowledge of sharia, not only you are wrong on this,you are also corrupting other young muslims with irresponsible and ignorant writings, brother mezba, every law in islam has masalihath in it, there are valid reasons for this law, perhaps you should do some more reading and ask some one knowlegdgeable to clarify some of your misconception, ask Allah(swt) to help you understand sharia better.
Faaz
Faaz1986@yahoo.com

mezba said...

Faaz, Wasalam and thanks for writing. It's always a pleasure to read a constructive critical comment that is also not anonymous.

In this post I am calling attention to the illegal practice that is halala marriage, which is basically when a man entices another man to marry his ex-wife whom he has divorced, sleep with her, and then divorce her the next day so that he, the first husband, can remarry her.

This practice is wrong and has no place in Islam yet it is believed and practiced by ignorant Muslims everywhere.

If you believe what I have stated above to be wrong, I would be grateful if you can provide me some evidence as to how I am understanding this part of sharia incorrectly.

You have written brother mezba, every law in islam has masalihath in it,. I am confused, what law? This is the practice of halala marriage that I am talking about here.

Faaz said...

Salaam Brother Mezba
I understand that the way some people are misusing this like the example you gave is wrong but still it does comply with the letter of the law, perhaps not the spirit of the law. To begin with such a law was imposed on the ummah by Allah(swt) to discourage men from divorcing thier wives for silly reasons and make a sport of marrying and divorcing them at will, and playing with thier emotions, for divorce to be valid it has to be said three times in a period of time not at once like it is shown on tv or movies sometimes, well Allah(swt) has warned you that if you divorce your wife for silly reasons and change your mind later there is price to be paid for that and that price is she need to get married to another man and they should consumate thier marraige and then that man has to divorce her for you to marry her agian, and there is no guarnty that the other man would divorce her for sure, if he does,nt you are out of luck. Also we need to look at the cultural context in this based on the culture of Arabia at that time, there is a lot of wisdom and forethought in any law that has been given by Allah(swt). As any law it is open to misuse by humans, but we need to understand that Islam strives to protect the interest of women and childern at all times. Basic reasoning is men should not divorce thier wives without much reasoning and thought, if they do they might not get her back, there are pages and pages of naseeha and discouragement when it comes to divorce in the sharia and islamic jurispridence. Specially if there are kids involved in the union.
Thankyou for your kindness to let me air out my thoughts on this matter.
with regards

Faaz

mezba said...

Faaz, the thing is it's not even in the letter of the law because Allah knows what you are doing. And if you marry for the sake of divorcing next day it's not even a valid marriage. So they are only fooling themselves.

Suroor said...

Mezba you say, “The proper answer to a husband who has divorced his wife thrice should be that he can NEVER think of getting back together with her.”
However, there is evidence that it is very clear that not only is it the first husband who has to pay the price of seeing his ex-wife with another man, it is even the woman who must have sex (sometimes perhaps unwillingly) with the second husband for halala to take place.
It is true that people have made a mockery of the “Law” as Faaz puts it but honestly the concept does exist in Islam. For example:
Narrated 'Aisha:
Rifa'a Al-Qurazi married a lady and then divorced her whereupon she married another man. She came to the Prophet and said that her new husband did not approach her, and that he was completely impotent. The Prophet said (to her), "No (you cannot remarry your first husband) till you taste the second husband and he tastes you (i.e. till he consummates his marriage with you)." (Volume 7, Book 63, Number 238).
What I understand from the hadith is that the woman may have had to wait all her life for the impotent man to approach her yet she couldn’t go back to her first husband without having sex with the second. Now certainly in this case she seems to be suffering more than the first husband, and it seems the Prophet knew that the couple were making a mockery of the system (like in the serial you mention) and wanted to punish them but that is not my point. My point is that the concept of halala exists in Islam.
Another point is that it was only the Prophet who was allowed by Allah in the Quran itself to take back a wife he had divorced without halala.

mezba said...

Suroor, nice to hear from you after a long time!

two questions:

1. Another point is that it was only the Prophet who was allowed by Allah in the Quran itself to take back a wife he had divorced without halala.

Can you give me the source of this.

2. I am not aware of any where in the seerah that the Prophet divorced any of his wives with triple talaq. The case of "halala" only comes with triple talaq.

also:

the TV series was promoting "halala" as the solution to a woman who was divorced from her husband after the first talaq. As only one talaq was done, "halala" isn't even required.

moreover:

It is clear that this marriage and divorce to another man must happen on the normal course of events. If done by design, it's not valid and gets a huge curse from Allah, which nullifies the whole "halala" concept.

So it's something that is circumventing the law, and Allah has warned us to avoid playing games with His laws (like the story of the fishing on the Sabbath).

Suroor said...

I agree that “marriage and divorce to another man must happen on the normal course of events” but from the hadith I quoted it seems like the Prophet was saying that once the new couple have had sex that she can go back to her first husband. If that is true then whether she has sex with the second husband or not, she just didn’t like him. Or would she begin to like him if he were not impotent? Maybe that is what was insinuated. It is possible that the hadith is incomplete and we don’t know what was said or done in entirety.

From the seerah we don’t know how many times the Prophet divorced his wife and how it was done clearly but we do know that he divorced a Jauniyya and sent her back home (Bukhari, Volume:7 Book :63 (Divorce)Number : 181 and 182). Apparently then he did give her the triple talaq all at once (or because he was the Prophet, that wasn’t required, I don’t know).

I was referring to verse 33:51 where Allah tells the Prophet that no blame attaches to him if he “desire(s) of those whom (he) had separated” (Shakir). I know that most interpreters translate it as explaining turns for conjugal rights, but there are also interpreters who read it as Allah telling the Prophet that even if he desired (again) a wife whom he had “put aside” (or divorced) there is no blame if he wants her back even if she isn’t married to and divorced from another man.

I agree with you that the manner in which halala is represented in the serial (and I haven’t watched it, I’m going by your description) is completely wrong, immoral and a mockery of the initial institution. However, I really do wonder why this law was formed in the first place? I understand this is not the focus of your post but I’m really intrigued. I can’t buy the argument that it would have hurt the first husband to see his ex-wife with someone else because history tells us that in those days sexual jealousy was very vaguely defined and perhaps didn’t even exist as we know it today. Plus, it would have been more traumatic for the poor woman to be uprooted again and again.

But I guess it would have given her the chance to know another man who may be better than the first husband and whom perhaps she wouldn’t want to leave later on for the first husband. That would be so cool! Poor first husband :D

Thanks for the opportunity for such wonderful discussion. I enjoyed it!