Saturday, July 07, 2007

Observations of a Desi BBQ

  • It would be nice if the BBQ set was, you know, ASSEMBLED, before the aforementioned picnic day. If it's your responsibility to bring the grill, you should NOT be stopping off at Walmart on the day of the BBQ!!!



    We are now experts in assembly of a BBQ in under 10 minutes!

  • Women are all about equality of the genders and same rights and all that stuff. Except when it comes to food. Suddenly, it's "Ladies First".

    Or to be more precise, Ladies (and their children and other lady friends who they let cut in the line) first.

  • Then there is the uncle who has appointed himself the unofficial Official Taster. He will come around every 10 minutes and bug the 'chef'.

    "So beta, is that chicken done? It looks like it's done. You should take it out. You know what? Let me taste it, I can tell you INSTANTLY if it's done or not...."

  • The other uncle is the Ph.D. of BBQ.

    "Son! Don't arrange the charcoal bricks like that, you need air to flow between the bricks. Here, leave a hole... right here. We need to make the pile around 30 cm high, that should do it. Now, we need to factor in the wind, which is blowing from the north east. So our grill should face east, as the vents are on the south side, so we can have cross ventilation. NOW... for the lighter fluid, I need you to stand back.. this much.... and on my mark, squirt it out! One, two, three... SQUIRT!!!"

    At least this is better than the uncle who looks at the lighter fluid, and then his eyes light up as he relives a long lost childhood fantasy, grabbing the bottle and squeezing for all he's worth, treating it like a water canon, as if he's firing ten rounds against an invading army. Apparently making a fire visible from space is a good way to get the BBQ going.

  • If you, while busy with the chicken, suddenly turn around and see ten people with tongs and gloves ready to help you, relax, they are not there to help you. They are just there because a picture is going to be taken by the official Facebook photographer. Frauds, all of them!

  • If someone repeatedly comes and asks you "Is the chicken done yet?", after the 5th time it becomes halal to feed them half-done chicken.

  • 12 comments:

    isheeta said...

    LOL, BBQ stories or not, sounds like you had an awesome time with the fam! Its so desi to buy a BBQ the day of, hahahaha!

    mousehunter said...

    That's too funny! Does sound like fun though. There's no BBQ like charcoal BBQ. Propane BBQs still churn out good food, but mmmmmm charcaol cooked chicken is unbeatable.

    Athena said...

    "
    At least this is better than the uncle who looks at the lighter fluid, and then his eyes light up as he relives a long lost childhood fantasy, grabbing the bottle and squeezing for all he's worth, treating it like a water canon, as if he's firing ten rounds against an invading army. Apparently making a fire visible from space is a good way to get the BBQ going."



    I had to try REALLY hard not to laugh too hard. I have to stop reading your blog when everyone is asleep :P

    Suroor said...

    You are funny! I love your sense of humour - very rare in good men ;)

    Anonymous said...

    I agree,I prefer charcoal to propane bbq's. Dh is not the bbq kinda guy, we only do it @home and if we do go out(park etc), we carry food already prepared at home. sf

    Farah said...

    I burst out laughing at the "official facebook photographer" ... haha, so true!

    AKA said...

    Since usually the ladies are the ones who prepared the food to be grilled and are spending their time setting up and watching the kids, I think they should go first :P

    But well done on the BBQ - everything looks great!

    Ahmed said...

    haha, funny and true. And those pics...I'm now craving some bbq chicken...

    Aisha said...

    LOL. Is that a picture of the actual chicken? I'm hungry now! :(

    PS: Make duaa my computer stays healthy. Even our new one started freezing and crashing. Now I've finally learned to save my bookmarks online so I dont have to lose them all. Hopefully i'm back to the visiting all my nearest and dearest bloggy friends on a more frequent basis! :)

    mezba said...

    Isheeta: I am going to way too many BBQs recently. Need to go to some GYMs now.

    Mousehunter: charcoal chicken the best yummy ever. The trick I find is to have very low heat, enough to cook but not to burn the outside.

    Athena: haha well atleast you will be busy in 2 weeks finishing Potterjee....lol

    Suroor: ah you are making me blush.

    Sf: I dont mind doing the bbq, find it sort of fun actually (you can boss people around and get the best cooked meat for yourself plus a few extra helpings).

    Farah: try this, next time you are taking a photo don't say "Say cheese!" ... instead say "Say Facebook!" you will get lot of smiles.

    Aka: I will concede the point to you. You are studying law alright! lol

    Ahmed: now I can't wait for this weekend again - another bbq.

    Aisha: that's the chicken! of course we cooked it more completely though.

    here's a dua for your computer.

    "Au zo biAllah mini hal virus".

    Jokes apart, I use google reader for blogs. Very good, I get RSS feeds so can see who updated, and so on.

    Though if your computer is crashing, even new ones, maybe you should check the power and electric outlets, or consider a power bar with stabilizer.

    Miss Specs said...

    wow...sounds pretty interesting...especially the assembly...all that was left was slaughtering the chicken there and then too...:)

    mezba said...

    Miss Specs: haha I am sure if the law allowed that we would do it too.