Monday, January 29, 2007

Awkward Moments As A Muslim #306

I am in the washroom, washing my hands. The other guy just got in.

"Hey Mezba, going for lunch today?"

"Ah... no, not today."

"Why not? It's dim-sum Monday special today!"

"Um ... I am actually fasting."

"FASTING?!! Why? Don't you always fast in ... Ramadin?"

"RamaDAN. Yes, usually. But today is a holy day. Ashura. So we fast for two days."

"I see. I see." [not seeing at all] "Did you say just today is a holy day?"

"Yes, I did. Why?"

"Because you just said you fast for two days, and now you say only today is the holy day."

"Well, we fast for two days, either yesterday and today, or today and tomorrow."

"Oh, why is that?"

"Um ... to differentiate ourselves from the Jews and Christians."

"I see. I see." [really puzzled now] "So Jews and Christians fast today too?"

"Um... no. Not really."

"Then...?"

"Dude, finish peeing first!"

18 comments:

mousehunter said...

Hahaha.

Did he continue after his pee?

Suroor said...

I love those pee talks! They somehow just flow naturally...

Farah said...

lol.

You guys are lucky you don't have to deal with the hijab/niqab/"is she holier than you" questions we shameless-girls-who-show-their-hair have to go through.

mezba said...

mousehunter: Some people just seem to sprout essays in the washroom. I just fled when he was washing his hands!

suroor: haha hehe.. LOL. That was too funny.

farah: we don't have the hijab questions, but there are the beard/ranting mullah questions that are asked because men love to discuss politics. Try answering "so is it 72 virgins or 72 raisins" with a WTF look.

Anonymous said...

Some pple would just avoid looking at you when you are at the washroom. I like the way the men's washroom works,there is no line and you guys are just fast! Now, women's washrooms, you would think we are having an interview or something, coz it's usually so looooooooooong! sf

ruby said...

And because you're not a girl people don't talk to you about the dangers of eating disorders whenever you're fasting.

Maliha said...

Salamaat,
how did this turn into a man/woman thing?

urinals are just gross!

I would have found a more PC reason for the whole ashura thing. Like well, its two days for extra blessings or sumthing :)

We are encouraged to fast anyway...so twice the better!

Jews and Christians are doing one day (or used to) and we love Prophet Moses soo much we decided to do two! :)

mezba said...

sf: it was always a taboo when I was growing up to speak in the washroom. We would not even acknowledge each other's presents as adults in the washrooms (yes as kids we would play around by splashing water...)

Here in Canada people seem to have a whole committee there!

Ruby: hehe... I am fasting today, don't make me hungry.

Maliha: That explanation never crossed my mind! It was like I was always TAUGHT about that differentiating from the Jews and Christians thing is why we keep 2 fasts on Ashura.

Though I wonder if those two fasts are necessary now. Since Jews keep fasts on Day of Atonement and Yom Kippur which do not fall on Ashura as the Jewish calendar is now different, while Christians hardly fast at all.

shaz said...

at 9am I was STARVING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! seriously! :)

oh... and mousehunter, just accidentally ate a chip!! lol

and koonj kept me up all nite on her blog, so I am tired too ;)

If I was asked those questions, I think my brain might have melted.

'liya said...

Mezba, I love how reading your blog always makes me laugh :D

Anonymous said...

i had a question.
do sunnis fast on ramadan? and if so why would they since dont sunnis regard muawia as a companion of the prophet and all that and imam ali as the illegitimate heir?
im not on an attack. i just want to know. cos this stuff is hella confusing me.
:)

Maleeha said...

You crack me up. I think you should take this show on the road and do stand-up. I'd pay to see it.

mezba said...

shaz: lol about mousehunter's chip. haha .. I almost, ALMOST, had a glass of water. It's so hard to stay away from tea at work.

liya: why thank you.

anon: everyone (muslims) fasts in ramadan. Hazrat Ali IS the proper heir of the prophet as he was his son-in-law (which would make his daughter the real heir since there were no other living children or grandchildren). All companions of the Prophet were men whose iman and prestige I cannot even doubt. Fasting is one of the five pillars of Islam on which there is no disagreement.

Maleeha: I may hold you on to that, some day.

Mango Addict said...

Salaam!
Found this jewel of a site at random, you will enjoy it I'm sure! I found this first:
http://ummahfilms.blogspot.com/2006/06/videoblog-1-funny-things-at-jummah.html

Then found out there's more where they came from!
http://www.ummahfilms.com/multimedia.html

Enjoy!

Aisha said...

LOL. You have a gift for humor. And a gift for dialogue writing. Tis one of the reasons I keep coming back :)

koonj said...

i hate people who talk in stalls. fortunately no urinals in women's toilets in this country :P

Maryam said...

You had to have this conversation over pee?

:|

:|

my face is scrunched up in a funny way denoting grossed-out-ness

mezba said...

Mango: Thanks for sharing the link, I have seen it before though but it IS a good one.

Aisha: Thank you.

Koonj: Please join my club. I hate talking in the bathroom - period.

Maryam: Tell me about it!