Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Why KANK Is Scary For Marriage

I continue my KANK hangover. This post may contain spoilers, the previous post didn't.

"KANK has messed up a lot of people man."

"When I get married, I am going to implant a GPS locator in my wife's body ..."

"This movie is so retarded. Why would anyone not like Aby baby?" [this from a girl, ofcourse]

Even after a couple of days from watching the movie, people are still discussing the topic of infidelity brought up by the movie. This movie is so scary in many ways.

I can empathise with Abhishek. For example that I could imagine myself to be a sweet romantic who will not hesitate to decorate a room with flowers to just surprise his wife. OK, maybe not that much flowers but I did watch a lot of Hindi movies. Atleast I am willing to try.

And then along comes a Shah Rukh Khan. Bitter, angry at the world and rude to his acquaintances. And suddenly, that is more than enough than diamonds and flowers. And love. Something about bad boys.

Then again, I can also see myself through Shah Rukh's eyes. As the typical desi dude, you grow up with 'family first' as your mantra. You make compromises in your dreams and ambitions for the sake of your family. You give up dreams of shacking it up with a gorgeous ex-supermodel to live life blissfully in an arranged marriage to a 'good' girl chosen by - who else - your family. And then, after a life full of adjustments, you meet a Rani. She is incapable of bearing a child, has numerous flaws, and yet, she captivates you. Do you break?

What about Preity? Girls are taught nowadays to be independent, to graduate from universities and hold a job, for then their husbands cannot abuse them as they are not financially dependent on them. Then, once they get married, should they tone down their ambitions? Desi guys, for all their open mindedness, still like their wives to greet them with a cup of tea when they come home [by the way I take two spoons of sugar, thank you].

Preity's character could easily belong to a guy who works hard to improve his life and give his wife the riches that she longs for - but when he can buy the luxuries his wife has grown distant as he wasn't there for her when she wanted just him.

I could dismiss the movie if I did not see examples of the characters in real life. Most marriages I see are happy, long term marriages. Yet, some marriages I know are facades. The couple seem happy, but it's a compromise. They have shut down their dreams, accepted the cards fate dealt them and kept all their emotions and broken ambitions bottled inside. The question is, for how long? There are marriages that have broken apart or where the couple are just living out their empty existence.

One line from KANK was telling. When Rani asks SRK about finding love after marriage - SRK replies "if you don't look for it, you won't find it." Is this true? Or is what Amitabh tells you that is true - "You never know when love or death will come for you."

What about the movie in light of Islamic practices?

For example, a religiously oriented dude I know (who still saw the movie) told me it cannot happen if you follow religion properly. For example, SRK and Rani would never have gotten close had they not met up regularly. You just don't meet up with another man's wife on a regular basis without her husband being present. Moreover, as a wife (Preity) you are supposed to take care of your family and put family first. As a husband (SRK) you are supposed to not be jealous of your wife's success, to spend time with your family and behave in a polite manner to your kids. As a wife (Rani) you are not to refuse your husband in bed.

The problem is - no one follows these laws religiously. Life is a compromise. You have to deal with other women. You have to meet with other men. You have to be able to know how to deal with them. You do get cranky, you may need to sacrifice time with family for more money as you have other financial obligations. You will get jealous if your wife earns more than you.

Moreover, all comparisons fall apart with Abhishek. He followed all the rules. He loved his wife, was willing to spend money and time on her and did not dwell on her flaws. And yet, he was the loser. So can one blame Rani for all the subsequent actions of everyone?

I guess in the end, life will always be full of temptations. You are not to curb them but control them. The question is - you need to find the other half that is willing to do the same. Otherwise, Sometimes Alvida Kehna.



Neena said...

As a wife (Rani) you are not to refuse your husband in bed.

Really, Now I know why so many women gets headache in night time.

NAB said...

actually thinking of not watching the movie...

Isheeta said...

I dunno what Rani was thinking.. I'd die for someone like Abi baby there!

BTW, I havent watched it yet, but now Im going to make sure the zillas watch it! Now they'll realize not everything is hunkydory in ANY marriages hehe

mezba said...

Neena: There should be some pills for that ....

Nowal: No, no! Do go watch it. It's a good movie. Just not your usual Bollywood fairy tale.

Isheeta: Dat's true. One of the signs from that email "you know you are a desi when ..." was that "your parents tell how how marriages work and demonstrate it whenever they are not fighting" hehe

The Bengali Fob said...

That was good post. I agree with your religious friend. Everyone is in control of their actions and thoughts. If you know you shouldn't be looking for love then don't look for it. I agree with SRK's statement and not AMit's.

YOu can't just fall in love. There's no such thing as love at first sight. You have to get to know the person before you commit. And if you avoid getting to know a person then you're very likely to not fall in love with them.

I hope I'm making sense....

Maleeha said...

I didnt like the message the movie sent..."love conquers all, even marriage." They broke up two marriages and lived happily ever after? Give me a break. The problems in both marriages weren't such that couldnt be overcome with a little discussion. Didnt like the movie. And can I just say how much I hate the westernization of Bollywood? Also, everything was too sexual for me. Amitabh character was funny for a little bit, but was too over the top. Maybe I havent seen a typical Bollywood movie in a while and this is all standard now, but it reminded me of everything I dont like about Bollywood and not of the things I like.

Desi Monkey said...

Here here Maleeha.

OK, so I'm not really a Bollywood gal, and I was almost dragged to go watch this film, but I was still willing to give it a chance.

The film failed me miserably- Apart from all the criticisms that have been mentioned already, I really didn't like the moral message it gave out. From my understanding of the film, it let adultery reign victorious over loyalty within marriage. The characters of Dev and Maya Rani did end up together, AND with the blessing of their previous spouses (albeit after 3 years of unexpected separation.) I understand that yes, it is possible to fall in love with someone else when in a marriage (in todays world anyway.) But infidelity is never acceptable. This film let the lovers get away with everything, whilst their spouses have to carry on even though they have lost the loves of THEIR lives.

The film should have been about Priety and Amitabh's characters, not Shah Rukh and Rani's.

Ah well. I heard that the other day Abitabh Bachan was being interviewed and he said whether people liked the film or not, there's not denying the fact that they're still talking about it. Maybe it was the shock factor that Johar was going for...?

Samiha Esha said...

Good sites of KANK ::

Karan Johar and Shahrukh Khan tries to show the recent facts of couples in their movie KANK...and I don't know why we can't accept that...:)

Its not a movie about two lover...fall in love each other and then get marry and ends up the movie...:)

We have to see their thoughts...From the very beginning Shahrukh, Pretty, Rani, Abhishekh they all were married but just they were not happy with each other....Is it mandatory or is it essential everytime You gonna get your dream man/woman in ur married life....???

The movie is all about LOVE....And u guys agree or not Love is so important for keeping a realationship healthy....:)

Main Point :::

Why Shahrukh and Rani fall in love with each other ??????....because they were understanding each other....which Pretty & Abhishekh couldn't....they couldn't express or show their feelings towards their better half...and problem occurs that's why :)

Now Why I Like this Movie...::

because Shahrukh Khan played really excellent in this movie...He attract people with such a character...He's just awsome in this movie...:)KANK helps you to understand how to keep your married life excellent....It can helps u to make your married life better...Its not the movie which will be scary for your marriage...:)....KANK is one of the best movie of Shahrukh Khan...You guys should enjoy it :)

anyways I better quit here...:)

Bye BYe...:)

Samiha Esha :)