Why KANK Is Scary For Marriage

I continue my KANK hangover. This post may contain spoilers, the previous post didn't.


"KANK has messed up a lot of people man."

"When I get married, I am going to implant a GPS locator in my wife's body ..."

"This movie is so retarded. Why would anyone not like Aby baby?" [this from a girl, ofcourse]

Even after a couple of days from watching the movie, people are still discussing the topic of infidelity brought up by the movie. This movie is so scary in many ways.

I can empathise with Abhishek. For example that I could imagine myself to be a sweet romantic who will not hesitate to decorate a room with flowers to just surprise his wife. OK, maybe not that much flowers but I did watch a lot of Hindi movies. Atleast I am willing to try.

And then along comes a Shah Rukh Khan. Bitter, angry at the world and rude to his acquaintances. And suddenly, that is more than enough than diamonds and flowers. And love. Something about bad boys.

Then again, I can also see myself through Shah Rukh's eyes. As the typical desi dude, you grow up with 'family first' as your mantra. You make compromises in your dreams and ambitions for the sake of your family. You give up dreams of shacking it up with a gorgeous ex-supermodel to live life blissfully in an arranged marriage to a 'good' girl chosen by - who else - your family. And then, after a life full of adjustments, you meet a Rani. She is incapable of bearing a child, has numerous flaws, and yet, she captivates you. Do you break?

What about Preity? Girls are taught nowadays to be independent, to graduate from universities and hold a job, for then their husbands cannot abuse them as they are not financially dependent on them. Then, once they get married, should they tone down their ambitions? Desi guys, for all their open mindedness, still like their wives to greet them with a cup of tea when they come home [by the way I take two spoons of sugar, thank you].

Preity's character could easily belong to a guy who works hard to improve his life and give his wife the riches that she longs for - but when he can buy the luxuries his wife has grown distant as he wasn't there for her when she wanted just him.

I could dismiss the movie if I did not see examples of the characters in real life. Most marriages I see are happy, long term marriages. Yet, some marriages I know are facades. The couple seem happy, but it's a compromise. They have shut down their dreams, accepted the cards fate dealt them and kept all their emotions and broken ambitions bottled inside. The question is, for how long? There are marriages that have broken apart or where the couple are just living out their empty existence.

One line from KANK was telling. When Rani asks SRK about finding love after marriage - SRK replies "if you don't look for it, you won't find it." Is this true? Or is what Amitabh tells you that is true - "You never know when love or death will come for you."

What about the movie in light of Islamic practices?

For example, a religiously oriented dude I know (who still saw the movie) told me it cannot happen if you follow religion properly. For example, SRK and Rani would never have gotten close had they not met up regularly. You just don't meet up with another man's wife on a regular basis without her husband being present. Moreover, as a wife (Preity) you are supposed to take care of your family and put family first. As a husband (SRK) you are supposed to not be jealous of your wife's success, to spend time with your family and behave in a polite manner to your kids. As a wife (Rani) you are not to refuse your husband in bed.

The problem is - no one follows these laws religiously. Life is a compromise. You have to deal with other women. You have to meet with other men. You have to be able to know how to deal with them. You do get cranky, you may need to sacrifice time with family for more money as you have other financial obligations. You will get jealous if your wife earns more than you.

Moreover, all comparisons fall apart with Abhishek. He followed all the rules. He loved his wife, was willing to spend money and time on her and did not dwell on her flaws. And yet, he was the loser. So can one blame Rani for all the subsequent actions of everyone?

I guess in the end, life will always be full of temptations. You are not to curb them but control them. The question is - you need to find the other half that is willing to do the same. Otherwise, Sometimes Alvida Kehna.

Tags: Bollywood Kabhi Alvida Naa Kehna