Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Aishwarya Rai

I am talking with a friend about worthless movies. She asked me about the worst movie I saw this year.

"Mistress of Spices," I reply. "The book was passable but the movie stank."

"Who's in it?" She asked.

"Aishwarya."

"Oh, hmmphhhpssst!"

The last word was a cross between an expression of disgust, the hiss of an angry snake, followed with an excessive spitting action.

I have come to realize that brown girls hate Aishwarya Rai. Not just hate as in "I hate Mondays" category, but as in "if I see her on the road in front of my car I won't stop" category. Nearly every acquaintance of mine who happens to be a desi female has expressed this sentiment. And it's not because she's pretty. Angelina Jolie's pretty, but women don't seem to hate her with the same passion as what is reserved for Aishwarya.

"You don't like Aishwarya?" I continue.

"She's a terrible actress." Strike 1.

"She's good looking," I counter. "Extremely beautiful. If there was perfect-"

"She's a dumb bimbo." Strike 2.

"That has nothing to do with her looks. She looks good."

"She is ...." My friend seemed to struggle to find Strike 3. "How can you even say she is pretty? Ugh.. you men are so superficial. Hmmphhhpssst!"

I cannot understand why the vitriol is directed at Aishwarya. Let's face it - she is a baaaad actress. As in bad with a capital B. She has made some terrible movies. Yet, she is not dumb. Any actress with movies of that success flop rate would have married and have had kids by now. Yet, she is at the forefront of public demand. Her bad performance on Letterman aside, she has brains.

No desi woman will however concede to a man that Aishwarya Rai is beautiful. Only one girl I know conceded she could be "aesthetically pleasing".

Is there some actor we guys like to hate? I have seen guys stand around while their wives/girlfriends would exclaim "Oh I have to see this movie. It has Shah Rukh in it. Oh he's every woman's dream!" And the guy would be like "Heh". And continue sipping his coke-that-he-pretends-is-alcohol. We don't care. We somehow have convinced ourselves that if Brad Pitt would step between us somehow we would have qualities that Mr Jolie would lack. There is this one guy, though, that bugs me.

Abhishek Bachchan. Two or three years ago the guy's fashion sense was a green kurta with blue jeans and orange shoes (think Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya). He did a guest appearance in Neal 'n' Nikky for chrissake! And now, the guy's star is higher than his dad, his films are super successful, he is signing endorsements right and left, and has the fashion sense Italians would kill for.

What gives?

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18 comments:

Masti-boy said...

do you get time to see acting (and do you need to) when indian actress is on screen with tight revealing dress?. Directors never meant acting from them. These r just models to get crowd to theatre.

Anonymous said...

Masti-boy: if you are that desparate then maybe you should be watching porn (I'm sure you already are doing a lot of that)!

Mezba: there is another bad actor is bollywood and that is shah rukh khan. He is popular because girls like him, not in the least for his acting skills.

Anonymous said...

I haven't watched less than a dozen Bollywood movies and I can say Shahrukh Khan can act like the best of them. His control over every single tissue of his face is remarkable.

Shabina said...

I think she's gorgeous. Shahrukh Khan - eh. But I like his acting. He sure can butcher those violin strings, though...man, I really need to carve three hours into my schedule to watch Mohabbatein again.

Anonymous said...

i'm not saying shah rukh khan is the worst actor out there (that award goes to imran hashmi and killer salman khan), but he is just a mediocre actor with above average popularity with girls and a string of box office hits - that's all!

Anonymous said...

Ash is pretty in a dumb sense. If she comes as a doll model then she is pretty. Trouble is that an actress has to have something extra besides being pretty and Ash is a failure in that. That's why it is difficult to acknowledge that she is pretty.

In my experience muslim males (specially from Pakistan) are the ones who are besotted by Ash. May be for pakis dumb girls are a norm.

Anonymous said...

Shah Rukh Khan is a horrible actor. If you wanna know who can act its Anil Kapor.

Aishwaria, what's the big deal? Yea she's pretty...so is Sushmita. But i guess not everyones eyes go from brown,grey,blue to green lol

Oh yea and Abhishek Bachan-WOW! He talks, looks and acts amazing. *drools*

Anonymous said...

aishwariya is indeed very beautiful. However to me, she's like tom cruise. hot but an arrogant dumbass. ok so she's not as stupid as he is but i no longer see the beautiful woman who was ms. world. instead she's some arrogant prick. and yea she can't act.

btw, everytime me or any of my girl friend talk about 'sharukh' or 'aamir' or whatever, the guys around us make faces. so its not just us brown women hating others just because they're pretty. men do it too ;P.

btw, abhishek is OVERRATED. the boy has potential but he's not there yet.

-SH

goBgoB said...

I take exception to your generalization that all brown women find ashwariya unattractive.
she is totally attractive--she's hot.
she however, is NOT beautiful. An actress needs to not only be hot but also charismatic to be beautiful, which she is absolutely not. Very plastic. Can't figure out if she's happy or sad when she's crying/smiling, seems she only has one face she can make that ignifies *intense emotion* to her.

However, if I were a guy or a lesbian and was given the chance to sleep with her, I wud.

Anonymous said...

Umm.. Interesting comments from every1... particularly the last one from goBgoB. Thats a pretty bold statement you made there when you said you would sleep with Aish if you were a guy or a lesbo. Personally speaking from a guy point of view, Aish wouldnt even be 10% hot in bed. So, there goes the sleepin-wid-her fantasy.

Anyone who thinks Abhishek is going to be a superstar of tomorrow, is way off target. (That title belongs to SHAHID KAPOOR). Abhishek needs to get a good haircut first and then needs to keep himself shaved all the time. He looks disgusting in his light beard.

- Behbood

nalumoni said...

i actually thought she was a pretty good actress. she just needs a proper director to elicit the emotions out of her.
and no, that does not mean i am the odd one out - i am an active participant of the desi girls' anti-ash club.

The Bengali Fob said...

Shah Rukh Khan IS an amazing actor! Aishwarya is beautiful or else she wouldn't have won Miss WOrld, but that doesn't mean she's everyon'es cup of tea.

I'm going to have to agree with Mezba; Abhishek Bachan is autrocious. He's got nothing. Not even looks. And please, he steals dance moves form his papa!

... said...

I love Aishwarya and think she's beautiful. I cant stop looking at her in movies and videos (though I avoid her interviews because I do think she sounds fake) but her acting could definetly use some work. I'm not looking forward to how they might butcher the re-make of Umrao Jaan.

SRK is eh...ok, not bad. But Amir Khan circa Lagaan? hubba hubba. Abhishek looks like he needs a shower and a shave and a haircut.

Have you seen Madhuri's latest performance at the FilmFare awards? Now THATs an actress (and a dancer!) I hope she makes a major comeback, I'm such a fan.

Anonymous said...

are you kidding? I am like in love with aishwarya. She is definitely the most beautiful person I have ever seen. And she's not that bad of an actress actually, if you don't count the disasters that were bride and prejudice/mistress of spices. I actually think she did an amazing job in Umrao Jaan and Devdas. So yeah, no all brown girls don't hate aishwarya. In fact most of my brown girl friends adore her and the ones that don't, willingly admit she's gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

are you kidding? I am like in love with aishwarya. She is definitely the most beautiful person I have ever seen. And she's not that bad of an actress actually, if you don't count the disasters that were bride and prejudice/mistress of spices. I actually think she did an amazing job in Umrao Jaan and Devdas. So yeah, no all brown girls don't hate aishwarya. In fact most of my brown girl friends adore her and the ones that don't, willingly admit she's gorgeous.

Anonymous said...

I do think she is beautiful.She reminds me of a girl who was as beautiful , especilly those soulful eyes.As fas as acting is concerned, I have my doubts.Madhuri Dixit was awsome as an actress and dancer though not as beautiful as aiswarya rai.

the_lone_crusader said...

yeah...I agree with you...abhishek bachan sucks...I don't know/care how good of a person he is...but when it comes to his ability as an actor...he is totally unqualified with a capital U..and the fact that women find him hot/good actor is beyond my comprehension...if I had to sum him up...I would say...
abhishek bachan is a sack of shit!!!...(of course nothing personal)

Anonymous said...

Whoever thinks she is ugly is crazy--I am a brown girl and think she is the most beautiful woman in the world! She is an amazing anomaly with those beautiful light eyes and Indian features...I am no judge of her acting skills, but regardless, she is a timeless beauty...it is wonderful that she was Ms. World and represented the uniqueness and beauty of India...