To be taken with a pinch of salt and generous dose of humour ...
Signs You Are A Bit Too ... Conservative A Muslim
- If you could ride a camel to work you would, as that was Sunnah, in your view.
- You can hide a miswak in your beard, and do.
- You quote verses and sayings in Arabic to fellow South Asian Muslims, and impress upon them as to how important it is to learn the language of the Prophet, and how easy it is. Ofcourse, the day you meet a real ARAB Muslim you shut up.
- You judge a person's piety by the cloth on their head or hair on their face.
- Wearing trousers, clapping of hands, playing the guitar, sports is all unIslamic activities to you, as they are imitating the foreigner and their ways. So says the desi cleric dressed in Arab clothes.
Signs You May Be A Bit Too ... Liberal A Muslim
- You are the master of re-interpretation. You are fond of saying 'Islam needs to be re-interpreted'. Not that faulty interpretations are to be corrected - reinterpreted.
For example, when Allah said do not drink alcohol - you have reinterpreted it to mean Allah is asking us to stop from consuming the addictive products of the day - so today we don't need to stop drinking but stay away from marijuana and the like.
- In a similar vein, mosque has become a place where Muslims meet, and where Muslims meet has become where anyone meets - therefore wherever people meet is a mosque - be it the local Starbucks.
- You are fond of saying 'atleast I don't put a cloth on my head and makeout with my boyfriend' and make out anyways.
- "The Prophet prayed in Arabic because that was his mother tongue. Today we should pray in our mother tongue." And so saying, you begin your namaaz (if you pray) with "God is great", before progressing to "Thee alone do we worship ..."