Thursday, June 28, 2007

Signs You May Be A Bit Too ...

To be taken with a pinch of salt and generous dose of humour ...

Signs You Are A Bit Too ... Conservative A Muslim

- If you could ride a camel to work you would, as that was Sunnah, in your view.

- You can hide a miswak in your beard, and do.

- You quote verses and sayings in Arabic to fellow South Asian Muslims, and impress upon them as to how important it is to learn the language of the Prophet, and how easy it is. Ofcourse, the day you meet a real ARAB Muslim you shut up.

- You judge a person's piety by the cloth on their head or hair on their face.

- Wearing trousers, clapping of hands, playing the guitar, sports is all unIslamic activities to you, as they are imitating the foreigner and their ways. So says the desi cleric dressed in Arab clothes.

Signs You May Be A Bit Too ... Liberal A Muslim

- You are the master of re-interpretation. You are fond of saying 'Islam needs to be re-interpreted'. Not that faulty interpretations are to be corrected - reinterpreted.

For example, when Allah said do not drink alcohol - you have reinterpreted it to mean Allah is asking us to stop from consuming the addictive products of the day - so today we don't need to stop drinking but stay away from marijuana and the like.

- In a similar vein, mosque has become a place where Muslims meet, and where Muslims meet has become where anyone meets - therefore wherever people meet is a mosque - be it the local Starbucks.

- You are fond of saying 'atleast I don't put a cloth on my head and makeout with my boyfriend' and make out anyways.

- "The Prophet prayed in Arabic because that was his mother tongue. Today we should pray in our mother tongue." And so saying, you begin your namaaz (if you pray) with "God is great", before progressing to "Thee alone do we worship ..."

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19 comments:

Athena said...

lol

what's wrong with praying in your language? (no, i'm actually wondering...)

HAHA I love the justifying of alcohol and ganja and the like

Farah said...

So says the desi cleric dressed in Arab clothes.

hahahahahahaha.....

Suroor said...

Ya akhi, wallahi anta alcomedia kabeerah!

sophister said...

nice! muslims nowadays!

youngMuslimah said...

good post!

once me and an aunt were travelling in a cab, and the cabbie was a bearded 'brother'. He had the radio on playing some rock music. My aunt went like 'why did he even bother w/ the beard?!' i snapped back 'not all bearded men are pious as you 'judge' them to be. There are unbearded brothers out there who are more high on the level of piety'..that made her 'hmm...you're right'. BTW- her hubby is beardless!

'liya said...

Great post Mezba, I like your thinking :D

Aisha said...

LOL, you are awesome Mezba, simply awesome! :)

mezba said...

Athena: haha you should see some of the other excuses that there are for legalizing marijuana... man if you wanna smoke it that bad just do it - but don't try to legalize it lol.

As for praying in your language, you should do it. But when you are saying the salat (or namaz) then it's a ritual that must be done in the traditional manner and the ritual is to recite the Quran and recite it in Arabic. In the namaz there are specific times (for example in sujood) that you can say your own prayers.

Farah: don't you find it cynical when they do that? ;-)

Suroor: tusi great ho, baen-ji. That's all.

Sophister: I wonder if it'll be true ten years from now.

Youngmuslimah: haha.. taxi drivers have other memories for me though... must...erase... Badshah Khan memories of middle east...

Liya: Oh boy! Approved by a teacher!

Aisha: thanx! *blush*

Maliha said...

Salamaat,
too hilarious! I love your wit :)

Anonymous said...

I know a guy who wants his 5yr old daughter to wear hijab whenever she goes out and he likes to say that he wants her not to *rebel* when she's older. He's the first one to point out this/that is not *islamic*. Well, here's the *big one*, HE DOESN'T PRAY! :D sf

mousehunter said...

hehe, this reminds me of a time last year when 2 of my co-workers and I had to go to Ottawa on some training. Two of us were sunni, while the 3rd was Ismaili. We were discussing our difference over lunch everyday for a week, it was quite amusing!

Miss Specs said...

AWESOME! This was something much needed around these parts. :)

mezba said...

Maliha: *blush*

Sf: 5 year old and hijab? There is something very wrong with an environment that requires such a young girl to wear one!

Mousehunter: Oh, need a recount!

Miss Specs: haha

Snowdrops said...

now that makes me wonder which one i am... *hmm*

sonia said...

heh brilliant! i particularly like the bit about foreigners and their ways! ;-)

sonia said...

i guess if i hadn't worked it out for myself this post would make it clear where i am on the liberal - conservative muslim stakes!

that said it is interesting to note that many Muslims probably don't pray because of having to offer salat in arabic. It simply doesn't make sense to many people, some i'm sure pray just for the heck of it, to get out of trouble with the family or wife or whomever - human person - i mean.

mezba said...

Snowdrops: I find that most people are somewhere in the middle.

Sonia: hehe

Sonia: though I am yet to hear of people who don't say the salat because it has to be said in Arabic - most people I know who don't pray simply because they are lazy or not so observant of rituals.

sonia said...

well lets just say it contributes towards seeming less of a meaningful ritual.

mezba said...

Sonia: alright! :-)