Tuesday, April 04, 2006

It Must Be April

It must be April when:

- I see my new neighbour across the street for the first time in three months. The previous family had moved out in December. In Canada you hardly venture out of your house in the winter months. Coming home after work you lie in the warm comfortable cocoon that is your home and venture out only infrequently. Even when you do, you step into your car and are off.

He was yelling at the kids next door, who had let their pet rabbit loose. Supposedly it had ventured into his garden and was eating his non-existent vegetables. He was a desi too, and this is what I heard:

"Bhut vhat if I had noooo vejetabhals? If I had? Your rabhit vud hav eat them!"

This guy is going to provide me with so much blogging material.

- The return of the 'Blue Girl'. I went jogging in the park on Sunday morning to warm up for a cricket game later in the day, and there she was. Dressed in what appeared to be a shorts made of spandex, and tight fitting t-shirt with a light jacket across her shoulders, a young woman from my street, also out to jog. It was obvious she had been exercising and keeping fit for the whole of winter, and was waiting for this day to show off her body. After reminding myself that only the first glance is forgiven and that first glance should probably last a lot less than 3 minutes, here is why I called her Blue. It may be April and the weather forecast may be 19C for the afternoon, but it was still morning and a chilly 4C. Her legs were cold. And blue. With her was the Ugliest Dog Ever. Is it backbiting if I criticize a dog behind its back?

- I get an email invitation to a BBQ. In May. Last time we planned it a month in advance. It rained so hard on the day we had to hold it indoors. Thank God for Rumpa Apu's huge house.

- The weather forecasters start to get it wrong. Back in the Middle East, anyone could be a weather forecaster.
Sat - Hot.
Sun - Hot.
Mon - Hot.
Tue - Hot.
Wed - You get the idea. Then the weather forecaster will announce Prayers for Rain would be held in two weeks. We would rejoice because it would be a declared school holiday.

Here, it's a bit harder to predict the weather. "A mix of sun and clouds with slight chance of precipitation in the afternoon and overnight cold leading to below freezing temperature and chance of flurries" probably covers all the bases for April.

Ah, April. The fickle month of glorious sunshine one day and ice pellets the next. Here's to the first beautiful weekend (read: hot). May such more beautiful weekends (read: more hot) be the recurring theme this summer (Amen).



Isheeta said...

LOL, i remember when i went to dubai last year... and the weather reports by the brits would come on... "well, its a looovely day in dubai, the sun is shining..." and when they were in a pissy mood, "its hot here!" I used to wonder why they even had a weather report in the summer!

Anonymous said...

Dude, your neighbour sounds like someone who will make you laugh like hell... vejetabhals...rabhit :D LOL...

Recently a desi family moved opposite to our house and within a month of him moving in, he sent his wife and his 3 yr old son back home. Everyone else thought OH O, DIVORCE... But he later on cleared all rumours saying that they went on a holiday for 3 months. But anyways, during the weekends, my cousins would show up around 11pm and we would just be chillin on the driveway..talkin, laughin, relaxin..(yea i know..the desi way)..and from nowhere this new desi would come out in his PYJAMA (with the THREAD or as we call it in urdu - the NAADA) hanging from his pyjama and wearing a tight white t-shirt and one of those BUNNY SLIPPERS (they look so gay on a man) and tells us in a pure thick desi accent, "HEY GUYZ VHAAT U DOINGGG.. ITS AAAALMOST MIDNIGHT TONIGHT (pauses) BIRD, CAT, DOG EVRIEBUDDY ISSLEEPING.. DONT YOUU WAAANT SLEEP". We just burst out laughing in front of him and then went inside. To this day when we see him over the weekends doing some yard work, we ask him, "BIRD, CAT, DOG EVRIEBUDDY SHHTILL SLEEPING?" and nod our head (like South Indians do after rigorous Bharatnatyam sessions) and walk past him... :D
On an other note, you should see him, his tone and his accent changing constantly when he is angry and is swearing... Its hilarious... But yea, cutting point short," DO NOT MISS ANY HILARIOUS STORIES OF THIS GUY...MAKE IT AN INTERESTING SUMMER" :D

- Behbood

Tippu said...


It's very rude that you make fun of this guy's accent. Atleast do it the desi way by laughing behind his back. ;). Wait till you have kids and tehy'll laugh at your fashion sense and pot belly. Ha Ha.


On April 4, 1979 Bhutto was executed, no that's not I want to remind you. On BBC on this day someone posted a message

How can Pakistan hang its only democratically-elected PM? It is amazing and shocking. Just click this link and see the second last messenger's name.
Just clarify me is it what I think it is?

Tippu said...


Here is the Link


Second last message. Focus on the name.

Toseef said...


After reminding myself that only the first glance is forgiven and that first glance should probably last a lot less than 3 minutes.


Last time when my sister visited Pakistan came back complaining that people (read Man) stares too much. Now I can show her your post to clarify the disputed behaviour.

Aisha said...

ahhhhh thanks for the wonderful laughs, I find it an interesting coincidence that I in my latest post also mimicked the desi "V replacing the W" in conversation, lol.

Anonymous said...

It was one of those reactions that was completely spontaneous...I guess you had to be there to see it...it was the moment man...

NAB said...

yea, speaking of fickle...I am freezing here. I was in my tee two days back. Argh!

zainub said...


With all due respect to Mezba, men do stare too much, in Canada, in Iceland, in Pakistan, in Russia...even on the Moon. Men and starting go hand in hand. They're inseperable.