"So how come we don't see you here a lot more?" The man jovially asked me.
It would make sense if the man was my uncle or a friend or some other guy at a welcoming place. When it's your doctor asking you that question, you need to have a WTF look.
I always used to wonder at the guys/girls who dress so fashionably (read, flimsy clothes) in bitter cold weather. Don't they feel cold? Well, today, I was one of those stupid people. You see, I was finally starting to see the fruit of six months of gym and a healthy diet. So I put on a thin, stylish, shirt, with matching trousers from Gap, and then just a leather jacket on, and went to work. Since I drive to work, I will either be in my comfortably warm car, or equally warm office. I was totally oblivious to the fact that Toronto was under Extreme Cold Weather Alert.
Well, I get into work, and one of our remote sensor chips malfunctioned. Since the Guy-In-Charge-Of-Everything is on vacation, that makes me The-Guy-Responsible-Now. So I had to walk a kilometre in the freezing weather to another building and take a look. Halfway back, I start to shiver. And chatter. And shake. And headaches. Before I knew it, the world began to move in slow motion around me. I finally knew what a hangover must be like. It was really scary, I was shaking like hell.
So I take a day off and drive (barely) to my doctor. The regular guy (a desi dude) is not there, so I see his Italian partner. The first thing he does (when I finally get to see him after sitting for an hour in the waiting room beside a screaming kid), is look into my file and comment, 'Well, we finally get to see you. You should come here more often.'
WTF?!!!! No, thank you. I would rather go to the zoo.
After a lot of questioning, poking in my ear with a thermometer (so he told me), shining a light in my eyes, he finally prescribes Tylenol. TYLENOL? To paraphrase Geoffrey Boycott, my mom could have prescribed Tylenol. I told him straight out, 'Doctor, I got an expensive health plan from work. Feel free to prescribe anything. Don't give me an over-the-counter stuff.'
He looks at me for a couple of seconds, then adds to the prescription - 'Drink lots of Gatorade'. This is our public health care, ladies and gentlemen. Tylenol. Next thing, they will be prescribing chicken soup.
The only good thing about having a flu? If you are taking French classes, it helps your accent. The best way to sound French is to have a cold.
Tags: Doctor Flu