Monday, February 27, 2006

The Prescription

"So how come we don't see you here a lot more?" The man jovially asked me.

It would make sense if the man was my uncle or a friend or some other guy at a welcoming place. When it's your doctor asking you that question, you need to have a WTF look.

I always used to wonder at the guys/girls who dress so fashionably (read, flimsy clothes) in bitter cold weather. Don't they feel cold? Well, today, I was one of those stupid people. You see, I was finally starting to see the fruit of six months of gym and a healthy diet. So I put on a thin, stylish, shirt, with matching trousers from Gap, and then just a leather jacket on, and went to work. Since I drive to work, I will either be in my comfortably warm car, or equally warm office. I was totally oblivious to the fact that Toronto was under Extreme Cold Weather Alert.

Well, I get into work, and one of our remote sensor chips malfunctioned. Since the Guy-In-Charge-Of-Everything is on vacation, that makes me The-Guy-Responsible-Now. So I had to walk a kilometre in the freezing weather to another building and take a look. Halfway back, I start to shiver. And chatter. And shake. And headaches. Before I knew it, the world began to move in slow motion around me. I finally knew what a hangover must be like. It was really scary, I was shaking like hell.

So I take a day off and drive (barely) to my doctor. The regular guy (a desi dude) is not there, so I see his Italian partner. The first thing he does (when I finally get to see him after sitting for an hour in the waiting room beside a screaming kid), is look into my file and comment, 'Well, we finally get to see you. You should come here more often.'

WTF?!!!! No, thank you. I would rather go to the zoo.

After a lot of questioning, poking in my ear with a thermometer (so he told me), shining a light in my eyes, he finally prescribes Tylenol. TYLENOL? To paraphrase Geoffrey Boycott, my mom could have prescribed Tylenol. I told him straight out, 'Doctor, I got an expensive health plan from work. Feel free to prescribe anything. Don't give me an over-the-counter stuff.'

He looks at me for a couple of seconds, then adds to the prescription - 'Drink lots of Gatorade'. This is our public health care, ladies and gentlemen. Tylenol. Next thing, they will be prescribing chicken soup.

The only good thing about having a flu? If you are taking French classes, it helps your accent. The best way to sound French is to have a cold.

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12 comments:

NAB said...

Aww, don't hate on the doctors! :)
You had a fever, didn't you?

Anonymous said...

I find these doctors do a rapid diagnosis when they think they can just order some over the counter stuff. Its the kids and older people they are more cautious with - us young folk just need some Tylenol.

'Why dont we see you more often?' - lol

Farah.

mezba said...

Nowal: Nah, just don't like this doctor. Have fever and the works. The scary part was the sudden-ness with which it came. Everyone who listened told me it's a waste of time to go to doctor for the flu - Tylenol will be the prescription every time.

Farah: You might be on to something. I have never been in the doctor's room for more than 10 min.

Anonymous said...

hehehe..... Tylenol!!! I dont know where you went, but there are certainly a lot of crazy doctors in the Scarborough region. The "WALK IN CLINIC" ones should be avoided at any cost. Few weeks ago, I went to see a doc at the walk in clinic (as my family doctor thinks he makes a lot of money and closes down at 6pm everyday) for a pain i was having below my eye-lid. He looked at my eyes, the nose, and after 5 mins of careful observation, (and mind you, while he is observing, bad thoughts are running in my mind as to what this dude is going to say) he said, "You are going to need to have surgery!". I was literally like, "Are you insane? SURGERY?? To ease the pain under my eye lid, you want me to go under the knife... You retard". Anyways, I told him to prescribe some pain-relief to me. He was quite hesitant in doing that, but did it anyway by giving a weird "FINE-dont-listen-to-the-doctor, you will-regret-it" kinda look."

Bottom line is, *SOME* doctors try to find the easy way out of "TROUBLESHOOTING" the human body. And I have noticed that, your family doctor (or any doctor you happen to go and see often) is the one who takes your sickness for granted and tries to prescribe some medicine to you. He checks his files to see for how long you have been a member at his clinic and how many visits you have had, and then prescribes some medicine to you. His thinking is: "Umm..this person has opened his file in 2004. Since then he has had 10 visits...I must be doing something right for him everytime he came, so let me prescribe him something (after all, hes been surviving since 2004 under me and my medications)).

- Behbood

Aisha said...

LOL, yes let me know when you're going to the zoo, Ill go with! :)

Anonymous said...

does Behbood have a blog?

Anonymous said...

@ ANON 1:04pm:

No i do not have a blog.
why?

- Behbood

mezba said...

@Behbood: Yes, those walk-in clinics at the mall are an oddity! I always wondered how anyone can be diagonized without checking their medical history or past records. Maybe any doctors reading this message (for whatever reason) can enlighten us.

@Aisha: You are going to Rio!

@Anon (1:04): To my knowledge he doesn't.

nazmul said...

ok enough doctor bashing guys :)

mezba, first of all, the doctor poked and proded you for five minutes to make sure that you didn't have anything serious (ie sinusitis, otitis -ear infection, pneumonia, abscess etc) and only then he prescribed you tylenol for flu

sometimes that's how medicine works, by making sure that nothing life threatening is being missed and then you prescribe something which will likely to treat the problem (also at the same time you also tell your patient to return to office or call if symptoms aren't improving or getting worse)

besides antibiotics will be useless against seasonal flu ( a viral infection not bacterial) and prescribing antibiotics un necessarily is actually dangerous, it increases the chance of developing resistant bugs, the last thing you want in your body

so drink plenty of fluid, take tylenol, wash your hands frequently and eat plenty of .......... chicken soup

bangladeshi in phily

Masti-boy said...

Your doc is better than mine. My Doc send me out with Hug !!

NAB said...

Nazmul just wrote everything I wanted to mention. He tapped into my brain. I feel violated. lolz.

And hey, these are walk-in-clinics, what else can you expect?

Anyways, that was redundant. Darn you, Nazmul.

nazmul said...

nowal, dont think of it as being violated, rather brilliant minds think alike :)