Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Are You More Pious Than The Prophet?

Congratulations, you may now be more pious than the Prophet.

* * *

You will never kiss your wife in public, because after all that is what those infidels do. We are not of loose morals like them! No Public Display of Affection for Muslims! We may beat our wives, because that is in the Quran, supposedly, but we will NEVER kiss them in public.

Congratulations, you are now more pious than the Prophet. He used to kiss his wives in public [1] and never beat them.

* * *

Do you have fun? Astagfirullah! Come on! The duniya (world) is not a place to have fun!

Too bad the Prophet had fun. He used to engage in racing with his wives (sometimes he even let Aisha - a woman - win! *gasp*) [2], and he even carried Umama, his grand-daughter (Zainab's daughter), while praying.

WHILE PRAYING! *double gasp*. He used to put her down gently when he prostrated [3]. We would NEVER let a child interfere with us when we pray, eh? Guess we think we are more pious than him.

Yep. No fun please, we are Muslims.

* * *

You treat Islam seriously. After all, religion is not supposed to be easy, right? I mean, never mind that verse in Surah Taha where Allah is saying "We have not sent down the Qur'an to you to be (an occasion) for your distress" [4] - who cares about that! If it's easy it cannot be pious, we all know if you are truly Islamic you will do it the hard way! In fact, when the going gets tough, you know you are in the right path!

The above is actually the tag and title of a blog that encourages women who are pregnant, to fast. Even if it's a 18 hour fast (like in North America).

Too bad the Prophet recommended the easy way for us. Especially about pregnant women and fasting (a definite no-no) [6]. But come on! We are more pious than that! As the author asks, "Yes, why should I not fast whilst pregnant?" It's all about priorities. Yes, sure the Quran and Hadith may exempt you, but ... Allah will give you strength! Even if, you know, you are disobeying Him and His Prophet!

When Umar told the Prophet after the conquest of Mecca that prayers no longer need be shortened, as there was no more a fear of attack, the Prophet replied, "This is a charity that Allah, the Exalted, has bestowed upon you, so accept His charity!"

And in another place, *gasp* the Prophet even told his Companions, "So be moderate in your religious deeds and do what is within your ability."[5]

But we are more pious than that, are we not?

* * *

Meanwhile, we Muslims have to defend the honour of the Prophet (by behaving dishonourably?). And the honour of ALL Prophets. So someone named a teddy bear after Muhammad (peace be upon him)? Off with her head!

Too bad Muhammad's own wife Aisha used to do the same thing.

And music! Astagfirullah! Isn't there a hadith that says "the love of Quran and the love of music cannot co-exist in the same heart"? Oh wait, there isn't? *surprise* Oh, it's just a quote by some guy named Ibn Masud. Oh well, it's good enough for us. No music at our weddings!

After all, it's only the Prophet's most beloved wife Aisha who narrated that when a woman was married to an Ansari man, the Prophet (peace be on him) said, "Aishah, did they have any entertainment? The Ansar are fond of entertainment." [7]

Once, according to Ibn Abbas, Aisha gave a girl relative of hers in marriage to a man of the Ansar. The Prophet came and asked, "Did you send a singer along with her?"

"No," said 'Aishah. The Messenger of Allah (peace be on him) then said, "The Ansar are a people who love poetry. You should have sent along someone who would sing, 'Here we come, to you we come, greet us as we greet you.'"[8]

But come on now, we are for sure more pious than that! In the name of Islam we will segregate our women and put them behind that curtain. I ask you, did the Prophet allow women to be present in the mosques?

He did? Um... um, ignore that. Times are different now. No longer can we obey the Prophet's sunnah in accepting an invitation to a Jewish lady's house for dinner (you know, without wondering if the cow was facing Mecca when it was slaughtered).

We are way, way more pious now.

1. Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi
2. Ahmad
3. Bukhari
4. Quran 20:2
5. Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 577
6. Abu Dawud, 2408; al-Tirmidhi, 715; al-Nasa’i, 2315; and Ibn Majah, 1667
7. Bukhari
8. Ibn Majah


TManiac said...

Mezba! yet another amazing post on Islam and modernism by the one and only you!!! I always wanted to write somethign like this, but you STOLE IT!!!

anyhoos, great job and insightful blog. I've also made the return to blogging too after a hiatus of "what should I blog about?"

And speaking of the gender segregations, I see it as an inconvenience and as a form of a killjoy. Everybody is fancily dressed up and looking their best to present themselves to others (and nope, its not an orgy). And the issue with segregated weddings is that neither side gets to see (or even meet) the bride/groom for that matter...as if those in support of the segregation literally believe we'll all go as wild as hogs if we see each other mixed...

mezba said...

Taha, you liked it eh! Do post it in your fb if you can, that way other people get to see it too.

Agree with your comments on segregated weddings ...

amatullah76 said...

Amazing, thank you so much for this. I want to repost far and wide.

amatullah76 said...

Amazing, thank you so much for this. I want to repost far and wide.

mezba said...

@amatullah76, please do publicize, and thanks for the comment.

'liya said...

Fantastic post Mezba! You really should write a book, you have a great way with words without lecturing or boring anyone and you get your point across in a really clever and thought-provoking way.

mezba said...

@liya, thank you !

Jack Point said...

Nice post, well said.

azlin said...

fantastic! fantastic! fantastic!

sorry, can't say anything profound cause you've written brilliantly.

Anonymous said...

Mezba, :) this is seriously one good post! JazakAllah for writing it, Mezba.

nadia said...

I think this would be a lovely Friday khutba :D

Khalida said...

You always hit it on the nail with these issues.

Sigh, makes me depressed though.

Shyamal said...


This is a very bold and timely write-up indeed. I probably haven't read all your posts, but I assume this is by far - one of the most daring posts from you. I didn't take the time to research everything you said (which I probably should do), but I am assuming you did your research as you usually do, and it really hits the right notes. Very refreshing, thought-provoking, and stimulating. And I am sure it is creating all kinds of storms - all over the place. I am very interested in reposting this on FB, but I am almost scared about figuring out how I would answer all the responses to this. What kind of responses are you getting so far on Facebook on this?

- Shyamal

mezba said...

@Jack Point, thank you.

@Azlin, thank you!

@khanum, I am glad it touched a nerve for many people.

@Nadia, I always hope someone gives a khutbah like this, and usually it's about the "Fiqh of Wudu".

mezba said...

@Khalida, I think the downfall of Muslim societies began with colonialism, which robbed people of educated thinkers. Today's fatwa givers are mostly close minded thinkers.

mezba said...

@Shyamal bhai, why don't you post it on your facebook, and direct all replies my way (to this blog) and let me handle the venom (if any)! :-)

Most of the replies I have gotten so far have been very supportive. After all, it's all there in the hadith!

The disappointing responses are the ones that go, "Yes, I agree, but still ..."

Tauqeer said...

It is an interesting post indeed. But if you can please mention exact hadiths as reference.

Sarah F. said...

This was fantastic. I didn't know you had a Blogger presence, too! Thanks to Wood Turtle's latest Friday roundup, I now do :)

mezba said...


1. The Prophet pbuh used to kiss his wife as he left home to pray in the mosque.
- Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 86, Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 181

From the Sunnah of Love

How is it the Prophet (pbuh) can kiss his wife, as he exits to leave his home to lead the faithful in prayer and some in our community find it difficult to just smile?

Please note that these are not the type of kisses that a man and woman will engage in when they are alone.

2. Prophet's pbuh Race with Aisha.
Ahmad, Safwat al Safwah Vol I p68
Sunan Abu Dawud - Book 14, Number 2572

3. Prophet praying with Umama
Sahuh al-Bukhari, Volume 1, Book 9, Number 495

4. Surah Taha (chapter 20), Verse 2

5. Prophet even told his Companions, "So be moderate in your religious deeds and do what is within your ability"
Sahih al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 577
Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 7, Hadith 127
Sahih Al-Bukhari, Volume 8, Hadith 470

6. Pregnant women and fasting
Sunan Abu Dawud, 2408; al-Tirmidhi, 715; al-Nasa’i, 2315; and Ibn Majah, 1667

7. and 8. Music in Islam. Refer to the book "The lawful and the prohibited in Islam" By Yusuf Al-Qardawi, page 297.

Here's a link.

mezba said...

@Sarah F, this is my personal blog, and posts tend to be of all topics all over the place! :-)

Metis said...

Very well researched and written as always Mezba!

I thought it would give some people sleepless nights if not a heart attack but I'm happy it is being received so well. There is hope!

ruby said...

Incredible post Mezba! Nicely done!

Safiyyah said...

Awesome - as usual :)

Anonymous said...

Bold & beautiful post & like other readers have said earlier, you hit the nail on the head. I have definitely thought about these things over the years & was always frustrated that in very-Islamic weddings, there seemed to be a prohibition on song and fun & together-ness (I've been to weddings that were done like this).

Many Thanks for clearing up my misconceptions!

Chadidscha said...

Salam Mezbal
I loved your post. Would you mind if I translate it into german and post it in my blog (with a link to yours, of course)? My English ist not the best but I hope my German will compensate ;)

mezba said...

@Metis, thank you, and thanks for sharing the post on your fb.

Yes, the response gives me hope there's snaer heads in our generation!

@Ruby, thank you.

@Safiyyah, :-)

@Anon, thank you - I should od a post soon on segregated weddings iA.

@Chadidscha, welcome to my blog and yes, I give you permission to do a translated post with a link back. Please also let me know here via a comment on the link to your translated post :-)

Mo said...

This is the Islam i know, not the wahabi/tabliqi nonsense that has invaded everywhere. I always find it utterly strange that Women had more rights in the Prophet's time (PBUH) than in modern day Saudi. Well done sir for putting forth the truth about Islam.

Imad Kamal said...

The article proposes (among many other notions) that there is nothing wrong with kissing your spouse in public since the Prophet (sall'Allahu `alayhi wa sallam) did. Well, how come we never ever see any scholar doing that? Are they not following the sunnah better than us?

For your information, this is not allowed. Please check the answer by a qualified scholar, not a layman: http://spa.qibla.com/issue_view.asp?HD=11&ID=4080&CATE=121

One point from the article:
1) If the spouses publicly HOLD HANDS [let alone kiss!!] in a manner that is intimate and expresses affection and sexual intimacy to the point that it draws people's attention towards them, then this would not be allowed.

Islam is a religion of shame and modesty. It teaches its followers to live a life that is modest and dignified. It also prohibits them from engaging in any action that would lead to an immoral atmosphere.

... read the answer for more.

There are many other items in this article I am troubled by. To talk about religious matters as this article has done is very serious.

Khalida said...

@above comment: Sigh.

mezba said...

@Mo, people who loudly shout Islam gives women more rights should take a look at what's happening in Muslim countries, and think, "is that Islam"?

Glad you agree with me.

@Imad, there is nothing wrong with showing affection for your wife (PDA) in public. It's all cultural.

Have you been to a Bosnian wedding? In a mosque? The groom kisses the bride, in the mosque, in front of the imam. It's all cultural what is acceptable or not.

Please step out of your closed world and look at the world beyond. There's a whole spectrum of cultures out there, what is acceptable in one culture is not acceptable in another. That doesn't make one "Islamic" and the other not.

No one is saying to make out with your wife and deep French kiss her in public. Why do so-called religious people always have such dirty thoughts?

@Khalida, I know eh.

TManiac said...

oh btw, mezbub! look up Anjem Chowdary in the UK, and this article perfectly reminds me of him. Just look up this disease on Google and YouTube

mezba said...

Anjem Chowdary - what a waste of space!

youngMuslimah said...

I loved this post!

esp the part abt kissing ur wife. gee its haram to even hold your wife's hand in public. it's even haram to tell you love her in public (the Prophet told he loves his wife the most when asked).

mezba said...

@Young Muslimah, it seems some people want to make it haram to even love your wife or consider her as a human being!

Amra said...

Hi Mezba,
I was linked to your post from thefatalfeminist...and mashAllah, it's hilarious! : ) I'm loving it! So much, that I shared it on my facebook without asking for permission. Sorry about that! I hope that's okay. Otherwise, I'll take it down.

mezba said...

Amra, welcome to my blog.

It's fine to share a link to my post on facebook, of course! :-)

ASKE said...

Salaam Alaikum,

The Prophet (salallahu alayhi was-salaam) did not kiss his wives in public and the hadith you quoted is not a proof for that.

First, proceeding from the assumption that the translation of the hadith is correct...

The reason for this is because the mosque in al-Madinah was built right next to where the Prophet (salallahu alayhi was-salaam) lived.

"The Mosque of the Prophet was built in 622 by the Muslim community after they reached the city of Yathrib, which would later be called al-Madina al-Muanwara. The mosque was situated next to the Prophet's house..."

So this does not prove that he kissed them 'in public,' because that would require that both he and his wife stepped outside (in order to be 'in public' as per the actual definition of it) and then he would have to kiss her- which would be doubly strange, since Aisha (radiallahu anha) wore the niqab outside- so this would have entailed kissing her on the niqab?

What is more, it does not exist in 'Sunan Abu Dawud 181,' which is the following hadith:

" Narrated Busrah daughter of Safwan: Abdullah ibn AbuBakr reported that he heard Urwah say: I entered upon Marwan ibn al-Hakam. We mentioned things that render the ablution void. Marwan said: Does it become void by touching the penis? Urwah replied: This I do not know. Marwan said: Busrah daughter of Safwan reported to me that she heard the Messenger of Allah (peace_be_upon_him) say: He who touches his penis should perform ablution. "

The narration in Sunan Tirmidhi is also recorded in Ibn Majah, number 502. It says "...The Messenger of Allah (salallahu alayhi was-salaam) kissed one of his wives, then he went out to perform the prayer, and he did not perform ablution..."

so this has nothing to do with kissing anyone in public, nor can it be reasonably inferred that this is the case, and Allah knows best.

mezba said...

ASKE, I don't know where you got the penis hadith from, but this is what I get when I search for Sunan Abu Dawud 181.

Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would kiss one of his wives and then leave for prayer (salat) without performing ablution (wudu). Urwa says that I asked A’isha: “It must have been you?” (Upon hearing this) A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) smiled.”(Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 86, Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 181 & Sunan al-Nasa’i, no. 170)

Here's some more kissing hadiths.

Imam al-Daylami (Allah have mercy on him) records a narration on the authority of Anas ibn Malik (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) is reported to have said: “One of you should not fulfil one’s (sexual) need from one’s wife like an animal, rather there should be between them foreplay of kissing and words.” (Musnad al-Firdaws Of al-Daylami, 2/55)

“Every game a person plays is futile except for archery, training one’s horse and playing with one’s wife.” (Sunan Tirmidhi, Musnad Ahmad, Sunan Ibn Majah).

Sayyida A’isha (Allah be pleased with her) narrates that the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace) would kiss her whilst he was fasting (m, refer to the fiqh of kissing during fast) and he would suck her tongue.” (Sunan Abu Dawud, no. 2378)

“Foreplay and passionate kissing before sexual intercourse is an emphatic Sunnah (sunnah muakkada), and it is disliked (makruh) to do otherwise.” (Faidh al-Qadir, 5/115, See: Hadith no. 6536)

The above two narrations indicate the recommendation of kissing one’s spouse. They also show the importance of greeting the wife with a kiss when entering the house and departing with a kiss. This was the Sunnah of the beloved of Allah (Allah bless him & give him peace). Thus, it is inappropriate for husbands to leave the home in a hurry without even greeting the wife in a proper manner with hugs and kisses, and then entering the house with the first question on whether the food is cooked or not, or whether had someone called, etc…

From Daruliftaa.com

mezba said...

Check also the MuslimMatters post entitled "The Sunnah of Love".

How is it the Prophet ṣallallāhu ‘alayhi wa sallam can kiss his wife, as he exits to leave his home to lead the faithful in prayer and some in our community find it difficult to just smile?

ASKE said...

I get it from Sunan Abu Dawud. The hadith (concerning kissing) is repeated at 179, not 181, so it is not a big deal, but a simple error in reference.

The issue is only that you used this to assert the permissibility of public kissing. I do not disagree with the fact that affection between husband and wife is important and that they should treat one another with love and mercy- and that kissing and acting kindly towards one another is but one manifestation of the many-faceted diamond that is proper conduct in marriage.

But none of those hadith pertain to public conduct, so to use them to prove public kissing is incorrect. You would be better suited by using them to prove that you should not act like a jerk to your wife or something to that effect.

Faisal Nahri said...

I very much agree with most of what you have said. Just wanted to bring something to your attention. The guy named Ibn Masud is actually one of the most learned companions of Muhammad (may blessings of God and peace be upon him). I'm afraid some people might dismiss your post for the sole reason that you don't talk of a learned companion of Muhammad respectfully. If you replace "guy" with "companion", the point you are trying to make would still be made, but people would not get shocked by how you talk of Abdullah Ibn Masud. I hope that makes sense to you!

mezba said...

@ASKE, leaving aside the fact that the wife was kissed by the Prophet peace be upon him on the doorstep as he exited, do you agree with the rest of the article?

@Faisal, no disrespect was intended, point noted, thanks.

ASKE said...

Except this does not prove that his wives were kissed 'on the doorstep as he exited,' so what you're asserting about the Prophet (salallahu alayhi was-salaam) is not proven. What it proves is that he kissed them and then went out to perform the prayer. It does not prove that the kissing was in public. The hadith is also in the section concerning wudu, of the books that it is referenced in, so it is used as a proof for touching women not invalidating wudu. Allah knows best.

It is also known that the Prophet's (salallahu alayhi was-salaam) wives wore niqab. How do you kiss someone in public wearing a niqab? If you say 'he lifts the face-portion,' then this defeats the purpose of wearing the niqab; ie- so that people in public do not see your face. Or does he kiss them on the eyes? That would be quite strange.

As referred to before, it is similarly known that Aisha (radiallahu anha) even wore her veil into her own house when Umar (radiallahu anhu) was buried nearby the Prophet (salallahu alayhi was-salaam); so since when would she have consented to having her face-veil removed partially in public, even if for a brief period of time?

I enjoyed the second portion concerning fun. I disagree with the opinion on music, but that is a disagreement with the person who wrote the fatwa, and not with yourself for posting it. Singing is clearly allowed (I do enjoy some nasheeds with the voice) and nearly all the fuqaha said that the duff can be utilized during Eid and weddings (by women), but outlawed other instruments.

Either way, nothing to get worked up about. Your style of satire is somewhat engaging.

mezba said...

@ASKME, Noted.

Shahla Khan Salter said...

Salaams. You are awesome. We are in the GTA now. You must join us. Progressive Muslim meet up is February 18th. www.mpvottawa.com - we are on facebook. Sharing your post. Allah loves us all. xo

mezba said...

Thank you Shahla. I will definitely check it out, iA.

Anonymous said...

I enjoyed reading this post. One thing though: we really need to define Islamically, what type of 'music' is permissible. Singing- yes if the song is nice and such. Instruments-according to quite clear evidence from hadith, just the duff. We really need to be honest with ourselves by trying to have fun, and lots of it IA, but within these limits, and not try to justify what is prohibited when it is from our own weaknesses that we don't refrain from the prohibitions.

mezba said...

Hi Anon,

Thank you for your comment and welcome to the blog.

I am of the opinion that duff is permitted, and so is a range of other instruments. Why limit oneself to the duff? What is the difference between a duff and a tabla? One is the just the instrument used in Arabia at the time of the Prophet peace be upon him.

Anonymous said...

I just read this today and am sharing with some sisters in a group. Some are already raising questions and am finding the answers from the Hadiths you have posted. Thanks sf

mezba said...

You are welcome, sf.

Anonymous said...