Saturday, December 13, 2008

Rab Ne ... Sucks

Dear Shah Rukh Khan,

Why? Why? Oh, why?

For nearly 15 years, you have given us movies that while wasn’t good all the time, was entertaining. And then you gave us those true masterpieces, the movies that never age, the movies that became the big blockbusters and the movies through which I remember my childhood. And then you do this.

I remember watching an old print of DDLJ, finally released in the Arab country I lived in. I cheered for you when you said you wanted to marry your love, but with her parents’ blessings. I cheered when you beat up those baddies. And finally, as Simran clutched your hand and leapt on the train, I cheered for the general goodness that a great love story brings on the cinematic curtain.

I am a writer. I love emotions. I love movies that tug at emotions. I loved most of your movies. I remember the scene in KKHH when, years after graduation, Rahul (or Raj, can’t remember) returns to the campus, plays with the basketball, and remembers with fondness the frivolity of youth. Every frame of that movie is brilliant with context, rich with emotions and superfluous at tugging at your heartstrings. And then you do this.

For eight years, we waited. Aditya Chopra, for eight years. Great directors almost never follow a truly epic movie. James Cameron waited nearly 10 years to release Avatar following Titanic. He knew it was hard to match expectations, again. Mr Chopra, you waited just two years after DDLJ and released Mohabbatein. We said, oh, well, ok, fine. He’ll get it next time. And so, eight years we wait. And then you do this.

I mean, how *splutter* is this even believable. A guy shaves off his moustache and the wife doesn’t recognize him? In one second the character turns from geek to hero? And then? Suri becomes a sadistic person willing to take into weird corners his experiment in testing the wife’s fidelity? Is this even believable? What a horrible, horrible, horrible, horrible, HORRIBLE, movie.

I am truly disappointed. It’s been years since I have seen a truly Bollywood love story. C’mon, Bollywood, we love you for what you are. Goofy love stories, choreographed dances in the middle of the desert and dense forest (in the same song!). We like the stereotypes. But overall, we like the emotions. We like the love story. We love the hero being a hero and the heroine being the quintessential heroine. I hate Bollywood when they try to churn out “English-like” movies. But you know, a general believability would be nice! You made *splutter* a story that is so ridiculous it is beyond logic. It is … an insult to logic.

Rab Ne Bana Di Waste Of Time indeed!

9 comments:

The Muslim Kid said...

I have not seen the movie but I agree with the whole I like original Bollywood movies.

If we wanted all that American stuff, wede watch American movies. Man, cmon, common sense.

Your right, those songs with romantic dancing in the desert or the middle of nowhere, thats what made it all the worth it, it was cute and like you said it had emotions.

Haha, I can't belive I found someone who agree with me on this stuff, most people like the new stuff..

-The Muslim Kid-

saeeda said...

i agree with you on both points

1) original bollywood is the best.

2) the movie DOES suck!

adnan. said...

There are plenty of good Bollywood movies if you know where to look.

And a lot of them have element of 'love' in them as well.

Although, you might have to veer off the popular movies and look into some of them that aren't quite hyped up.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...atleast you know Gajini wont disappoint you... Aamir doesnt jump on anything without his mind fully open...

SRK is experimenting with his roles and clearly, this one has failed.

Time for SRK to learn something from Aamir. He experiments too... from a TAPORI lover in Rangeela to an INDEPENDENT taxi driver in Raja Hindustani to a CRICKETER in Lagaan to a TEACHER/MENTOR in Taare Zameen Par, this guy knows exactly how to deliver...

/behbood

mezba said...

Muslim Kids: hope you are not being sarcastic! :-p Welcome to the blog.

Saeeda: I gather you seen it yet? I hope it's a big flop.

Adnan: I really don't watch much Bollywood movies except the "big" ones. And this one just tanked.

Behbood: You know, er, I really, really HATE Aamir Khan!

Anonymous said...

I rarely watch indian movies unless its free on tv. I get to watch some when my friend lends me a movie or am bored/heard some good reviews and I can find it on youtube. I like SRK, was hoping I would watch this one, bahhh, so it tanked, well, let's see what other *crap* comes up. Btw, I didn't like muhabattein(?). sf

mezba said...

Sf: this was really bad. Ghajini (Amir Khan) might be a hit but it's a copy.

h. ahmed said...

ur being too harsh - of course it doesnt compare to DDLJ or KKHH, but it was entertaining, funny, and the ending was nice (no not how outrageous it was that she instantaneously forgave him for the whole raj person and deception) but the dialogue over the pics of the honeymoon in japan [cmon, u had to have been smiling watching that!]

it had its funny moments and was entertaining. U cant expect all of SRKs movies to be blockbuster epics!!

- a closet bollywood fan

mezba said...

H.ahmed: nah, for me it was not that fun. Half the movie I couldn't get over the fact that she couldn't recognize him! So I wasn't "involved" in the movie the way you get into a normal SRK movie.

Om Shanti Om was mindless, ridiculous and illogical, yet it was fun, entertaining and totally a good movie. This was...nah, crap.