Why Guys May Think (Twice) Before Getting Married

I attended a friend's Gaye Holud ceremony recently, which is a type of Mehndi-type Bengali ceremony. It goes something like this. You sit the bride and groom (nowadays it's just one ceremony together), grab the largest sweets (I have a fascination with gulab jamuns) you see and stuff them into the guy's mouth. Then you grab this yellow powder thing (called Holud) and rub it on the bride's face. It's supposed to make her fairer.

Anyways, I was at the event, taking in the delightful madness of it all, the friends of the bride showing some slick dance moves (and I mean slick) when I started to notice things. As a blogger, sometimes you notice something and go 'oh that would be so blog-post-worthy and file it away under your things-to-blog category'. I don't know if you have ever done that; I have.

So here's what I notice. Uncles who have a reputation as a tough dude meekly holding their wife's purses while the aunties dab their noses with fake brand name makeup. Uncles timidly following their wives who weave through the crowd to greet various people, even though they would rather be sitting in the corner discussing Harper's latest mishap with other uncles.

Few men, though not as bad as the walkman-carrying-Chinese dude, were similarly emasculated. Now I have been told that this is not 'sissy behaviour' at all - it's nice and sweet and thoughtful and romantic. Interestingly these comments are from girls. I guess I have not yet met that person for whom I can stand in the rain holding a purse, so until then I would not understand this behaviour.

However, as I reflected on this, I remembered Nowal's post To be married or not to be...?. I have made some interesting (and extremely sexist) comments there, which I can now elaborate (all in the name of humour, ofcourse).

Why Guys May Think (Twice) Before Getting Married

No more impromptu poker night. Yes, T called after work suggesting it, but wifey called immediately ordering you to bring milk.

When going anywhere with your wife, add 2 hrs to the itinery. She takes 1 hr to get ready. Then you gotta drive 10 km below the speed limit, which is probably 40 km less than your normal driving speed. Finally, just before you pull into your destination, wife wants you to pause while she checks her make-up again.

Before you reach your destination, you have to stop and ask for directions (which you hate) because wife didn't copy them properly in the first place.

While your wife may want you to be fiscally smart, try the following explanation with her.

"Honey I spent $30 on the fishing license. There's 10 summer weekends I can go fishing, so every weekend I am not fishing I am losing $3. Do you want me to lose money? Um... Honey? Where are you going?"

No more msn ... or yahoo ... because wife will be staring over your shoulder every time you want to talk to barbie_007_4_u

[submitted by my friend who saw me making this list]my reason not to marry ... so that I can fart comfortably in my sleep

Your wife may not like the above friend coz he's like Duprey. Then he crashes over. And you got a problem.

In conclusion, life is unfair.

Tags: Desi Marriage