On Wearing a Chain

As a young kid in the Middle East, one of my "phases" included wearing a metallic chain around my neck and a steel bracelet on my wrist. It was 'cool' and everybody at school was doing so (remember, this was the 80s). On the other hand, I was still brought up with good values and was quite religious. So this one time, I went to visit this city (Abu Dhabi - the now famous, bigger brother of Dubai) with a couple of friends and it was time for afternoon prayers. We entered a mosque.

After we were done with the congregational prayers we saw the imam making his way towards us. As soon as he was upon us he started to gesture wildly and say something. Whey I say "say something" I really mean "shout". And in Arabic.

A peculiar feature of the UAE is that many of the people who live there, even for decades, do not speak Arabic. Us included. So while the imam ranted and frothed at the mouth, we could only look on helplessly. Some Pakistani labourer then took the trouble to translate to us.

"He doesn't like that." He pointed to the chain and the bracelet. "It's very un-Islamic. Please don't wear that to the mosque."

Silly me, I didn't know that bad 80s grunge look existed in 6^th century Arabia to be banned by the Prophet (along with, say, soccer). I remember being shocked at the imam's behaviour (we were only 10 or 12 at that time!) and thinking, "I am never coming to this mosque again!"

I remembered this incident, years later, this summer.

It was a nice summer's day in Toronto and I went biking with a neighbor. We cycled through routes and hills and were riding home when it was time for Maghreb. As luck would have it, we were riding past the biggest mosque in the city.

"Let's go in," Was my decision but I was a bit apprehensive in what I was wearing. A white t-shirt with the Toronto skyline picture on it, and the long shorts. The shorts reached past my knee, which was good (and made it halal), but still left a LOT of the ankle exposed, which is probably not people normally wear to the mosque.

I went in, expecting another frothing imam.

I was pleasantly surprised. No one paid any attention to me.

I went in, enjoying the refreshing blessing of God that is Air Conditioning, did my ablutions, did the congregational prayers, and then even said salaam to the imam (just to tempt fate) and then left. While leaving, I saw plenty of people dressed like me.

They seemed happy to be there. And I wondered, how many attendees does a frothing imam lose?

A Cruise to The Thousand Islands

A baby will not change our travelling habits, my wife and I had decided, when we found out we were having our first born. We will still travel the world like when we were first married.

Yeah, about that. That boast went the same way as "I will not resort to using television to get my kid to eat" and "my kid will not throw a temper tantrum".

So this summer, while deciding on a place to visit near home and with not much preparations, we decided to take the Thousand Islands Cruise near Kingston, Ontario. Now, Kingston is a great Canadian city not too far from Toronto (about 2 and half hours of driving), but the better Thousand Island cruises depart from Gananoque, which is about another half an hours driving. So, three hours, not too bad, we thought.

Cue a huge traffic accident (a truck rollover) that blocked traffic all across the province, and we arrived five hours after schedule to catch the 3 pm cruise.

The cruise ships were huge, and since this was the middle of the week (did I mention I was on vacation), we had the whole ship mostly to ourselves. Which was good for the toddler so he could walk run about, and bad for us as I wanted to just curl up and sleep, not chase after a baby. But then we imprisoned strapped him safely him in his stroller as he went to sleep, and we could enjoy the beautiful scenario that is The Thousand Islands.

The islands (there's actually more than a thousand, believe it or not!) were mostly privately owned, and we saw the houses (and resorts) of the rich and famous as we cruised by. Oh, to have an island of your own! The famous Kirrin Island of the Famous Five fame (Enid Blyton fans will get this) came to mind.

The cruise ship stopped at the Boldt Castle. Since the Castle is on an American island (the islands are between US and Canada), only those allowed to enter USA could visit it. Which included any Canadians on the boat, but you had to have your passport). We had chosen not to do the castle, as it wasn't very stroller friendly, so we just admired the view from the outside. To think, at one time, this was the property of just one man!

Of course, we were not the only ones enjoying the water on a lovely summer day.

The next morning we spent a bit of time visiting some of Kingston's other tourist attractions. These included Bellevue House, the residence of Canada's first Prime Minister, Sir John A Macdonald. it was interesting to see how simply he lived, for a man of his importance.

 

 Of course no visit to Kingston would be complete without trying Chef Rahim's biryani. Halal food was pricier in Kingston as compared to Toronto, but it rounded off what was an excellent weekend visit.

Amongst other attractions that we didn't visit as I had been there previously is Queen's University. If you are in Toronto and looking for an interesting day trip or a weekend trip, Kingston is highly recommended. 

4 Reasons Why I Do Not Give A Discount (Or Give My Book Away for Free)

It is now well known amongst my friends that I have published a book. Most of them are genuinely happy for me, and many have purchased a copy (or several!) of the book from me at full price. I am also happy to say the book is now available via Eastern Toybox for those in Canada.

To all those who supported my effort and purchased my book, I would like to say a sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart.

However, sometimes I occasionally get the "Hey, do your friends get a discount" or "can I get your book for free" question. Most of the time it's in jest and I laugh off the good natured ribbing. Sometimes though, it's a passive aggressive statement with multiple shades of intent. The book sells for $US 24.99 on Createspace, for $US 24.99 on Amazon USA (they sometimes apply a discount on their own initiative), and $CAD 26 at Eastern Toybox. I made a resolve early on that I will not be discounting the book at all when I sell them personally to friends or relatives, and NEVER give anyone a free copy. These are the four reasons why:

1. It seems that "Business is business" and "separating business from pleasure" is an Islamic thing. The Companions of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) did not give the Prophet a discount, so why should I give anyone a discount? In the famous hadith of Jabir ibn Abdullah, this young man bargained over the price of his camel that he was selling to the Prophet, until he got a price that he felt comfortable with. Of course little did he know that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was merely looking for an excuse to help Jabir financially without hurting his dignity!
   
   To reiterate, in Islam, when you conduct a business transaction, it is perfectly allowed to charge a price for your product that you think it's worth, and it's up to the other person to purchase from you, or not, regardless of the relation between the two of you.
2. The book is a quality product that I have made and it took a lot of time, effort and money. When you ask me to give you the book for free, you are saying that essentially, my time and effort have no value.
   
   I have not forced anyone to buy my book. I have not even sent an email out to my friends asking them to purchase it. The ONLY email that I have sent out to all of my friends is ONCE, at the beginning, when I merely informed them about the book getting published, and my asking price for it. I also told everyone that should they wish, they can place an order through me, and if not, can they kindly forward the information of the book to anyone they think would find it useful. That was it.
   
   So if I am not putting a gun to anyone's head obligating them to buy my book, or treating them any differently if they didn't, then I certainly don't feel I have to discount my book for anyone.
   
   My book is a product in the marketplace. If there is a demand for it, if people value it, then God Willing it will sell. If someone does not feel it's appropriate to pay $25 for it, that's their decision and I can respect that. But when someone wants the book, but is not prepared to pay for it, that says more about them than the product.
3. Muslims have to be prepared to pay out of their pocketbook if they want quality products.
   
   For example, we want our Imams to be "cool", to be an expert of not only the Quran and Islamic theology, but to have knowledge of the sciences, to be experienced with the modern world, to know about the culture of the land, to "identify with the youth", to be an excellent orator, to be good at interfaith work, etc. etc. The list goes on. Yet, when it's time to pay the imam, the masjid boards dither and do not want to pay him an appropriate salary that will enable the imam to enjoy a high quality of life. Caliph Abu Bakr, the first Caliph of Islam, was not prepared to give up his business and attend to the duties of the Caliphate full time until he was given an appropriate wage - which he later claimed was insufficient and demanded a raise.
   
   Today, we want high quality educational Islamic books for our kids. We want proper Islamic stories depicted on the silver screen and television using high quality production techniques (the Omar series being a prime example). We lament the lack of proper Islamic education for our kids, or the inadequacy of good Islamic Sunday school speakers. We want gyms in our mosques, not to mention daycare facilities and equal women's places. Yet, when it comes time to donate or contribute financially for all of these, we balk. We do not support the local mosques. We are hardly involved in their planning board. We pirate lectures and movies. We do not patronize Islamic conferences and belittle their efforts. And when someone publishes a book or makes a movie that, in their opinion, raises the bar, they are shunned for not giving their friends discounts or "free" tickets.
4. I plan to use most of the proceeds of sales for future dawaah work. Other books are in the planning pipeline, with a book on Surah Qasas scheduled for release in April 2014. I also need to purchase some photography equipment for images of even higher quality than the first one. These all take resources, and I have shunned from asking anyone for donations for free. My plan is to produce a product and make it self sustaining as far as possible.

As it is often said, most of the time you get what you pay for. And this is why I refuse to discount my book for anyone.

Surah Kahf Illustrated Quran Book Now for Sale

Alhamdulillah.

I wanted to personally give you all the good news that the illustrated book on Surah Kahf (with 146 pages containing over 220 images, built using Lego bricks and other toys, with the full exegesis (tafseer) of the Surah Kahf) is now out for sale.  It’s available primarily on Amazon.com (US, Canada and Asia), just in time for Eid. Here are the links to order the book:

Amazon (for readers in USA, Canada, Asia, Africa)
http://www.amazon.com/Teaching-Kids-Holy-Quran-Meaning/dp/1492331023/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1381082251&sr=1-1
Amazon (for UK customers)
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Teaching-Kids-The-Holy-Quran/dp/1492331023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381082843&sr=8-1&keywords=mezbauddin+mahtab

Amazon (for readers in France)
http://www.amazon.fr/s/ref=nb_sb_noss/275-2910051-4791220?__mk_fr_FR=ÅMÅŽÕÑ&url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=mezbauddin+mahtab

Amazon (for customers in Germany)
http://www.amazon.de/Teaching-Kids-The-Holy-Quran/dp/1492331023/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1381082795&sr=8-1&keywords=mezbauddin+mahtab

Currently there is a sale on the book (regular price US$24.99, but discounted on Amazon.com) available for early orders. I have ordered previously on Amazon.com, and have been a highly satisfied customer with their prompt shipping and customer service, and can thoroughly recommend them.

Just a bit of note about the price – it’s expensive to print a book of images (as opposed to text), so I have priced it almost at cost. Any proceeds from the book is going towards purchasing a new camera macro lens and light box (for better pictures in the future) and more dawaah work with the next Quran book (on Juz 30), insha Allah, amongst other things.

For those who live in the Greater Toronto Area, I have another offer on the book. They can place their order through me and it will cost them only $25 (no taxes, no shipping). To do that, please email me with your contact info so I can get in touch with you. I will be placing my bulk order for all GTA customers on Oct 13, 2013, insha Allah.

Here are some images from the book:









 

A Declaration

Morning. The Hilal Committee of Greater Toronto Association, the Crescent Committee and the Saudi Salafi organization have agreed that tomorrow, the 8th of August, 2013, is ..
.
.
.
. .
a Thursday. It's a great joyous occasion when all Muslims of the Ummah will observe Thursday together on the same day (except those pesky fitna-loving Polynesians). Sheikh Al Bouty was involved in the marathon negotiations that brought all the leaders of the community together. The Salafs initially wanted to wait till Friday, considered holy by the Wahhabi Islam (and other sects), to celebrate Thursday, but came around when informed that to get to Friday they would have to observe Thursday first.

In other news ISNA has declared by virtue of calculations that Thursday is not theoretically possible this week, and declared tomorrow to be Friday.

What I Told Aldo

I now know NOT to give out my email to store cashiers when they ask for it.

Canadian Spring

Made this meme quickly today. This April has been a mixed bag so far. We had temperatures into the teens (celcius) and yesterday and today we had snow and hail.

The Bangladesh Crisis Explored

Bangladesh is right now in the middle of a political crisis that threatens the very well being of the country and her people. I wrote an article for MuslimMatters exploring the origins and status of the present situation. You can head over there to read the article, which has been very well received by the readers.

The Bangladesh Crisis Explored

A Country in Crisis

“Are there any Hindu temples in the country that has not been burnt yet?”

A survivor wailed her lament to the news cameras. The channel was covering the latest atrocity in Bangladesh, when miscreants torched a small temple and desecrated the idols.

Bangladesh is in the middle of a political and communal crisis. Long been spared the curse of communal violence (Bangladesh did not see the heavy Hindu-Muslim rioting of the 1947 partition, as well as serious clashes when neighboring India was plunged into chaos in 1996, 2001 and 2006), the country's 9.2% Hindi minority are now the target of outright violent hostility. Today, Amnesty International released a statement deploring the wave of violent attacks against the Hindu minority ...

More here on MuslimMatters: The Bangladesh Crisis Explored
 

An Ideal Mosque - Part I - The Praying Area

Lately there has been a spike of interest in mosques and attendance by Muslims of religious services. WoodTurtle has a series on Unmosqued, which is also the title of a documentary/movie. Here in Toronto, we are blessed with a huge number of mosques that vary widely in the prayer space and range of services provided. I am personally blessed to live near the Islamic Foundation of Toronto (IFT) and the Islamic Institute of Toronto (IIT), both of which are sterling examples of great Western mosques.

Recently, few close friends of mine who live way north in Brampton have started an movement to establish a mosque in their area, called BARIC. Since these are friends I have known from my Middle East days, and I was talking recently with the general secretary on the role of women in a mosque, their activity has led me to start thinking of what an Ideal Mosque should look like. This post is an attempt to crystallize those views. I will start with the praying area.

An Ideal Mosque of course existed during the time of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) and from all reports, this is a rough sketch of the praying area of the Masjid-e-Nabawi. Please note that this is simplified; there were many doors leading into the mosque courtyard from nearby houses, there was an area reserved for the Ahl-Suffa (men who lived at the mosque because they were poor or chose to be, and whose primary job was to learn the new religion and its tenets, teach new converts and who lived off the generousity of the larger Muslim community).

Note that there was no barrier between the men, children and women. It was simply a large space in which the front rows were taken by men, the middle by children followed by women, with a row gap in between. Everyone could see the imam and hear him directly. This was my original opinion of what an ideal praying space in an ideal mosque should be like. This is how the praying space at IIT is.

Recently, after having been blessed with a child, I noticed that I was no longer as enamoured with these type of mosques as I was with mosques that had separate enclosed ladies' sections - as that meant my wife could nurse our son in privacy and change him if needed. We have all seen these type of mosques.

Notice the smaller section for women and the use of close circuit television and screens (which were definitely NOT there during the Prophet (peace be upon him)'s times). Moreover, which the enclosed space was great if you had a baby, this could be a service provided by the mosque (have a separate room for nursing or changing babies). Why intrude into the praying space? Moreover, the din of children crying and/or running around in a small(er) praying space doesn't make it very attractive to women worshippers, as is the fact that you have to have a working television cable system to just follow the imam.

However, some women just like the idea of a separate women's space so they can pray in privacy and in solitude. The problem is that for younger women, used to being treated as equals everywhere else, this apartheid type barrier seems regressive. Moreover, the women's space is now fixed in size, and is often much, much smaller than the men's. So, what can be done?

Now I see more and more what a visionary Zarqa Nawaz was with the episode called "The Barrier" - the second episode of the series "Little Mosque on the Prairie". While the episode had some glaring faults, her solution to the barrier question seems to satisfy everyone (or no one).

Leave half the space covered by a barrier, but leave the other half open for women who like to pray behind the imam. Does that sound fair?

What is the praying arrangement at your mosque? Is it ideal? What are your views of an Ideal Mosque? You can get in touch by leaving a comment here, or by emailing me, or getting touch via Twitter (a_bong).

Er ... Maalish

"Hey, this water from the shower is hot!"

"Um ... try turning the tap the other way, maybe that's the cold water."

"Well, this says this is cold water. It's marked blue as well."

"Why don't you try it?"

"OK ... um .... the water is just getting hotter and hotter."

"Er ... maalish!"

Welcome to the Middle East, where the shower has two settings, hot and hotter, and maalish is a word used to smooth over everything when you can't do anything.

"This car is actually driving on the shoulder of Dubai - Abu Dhabi highway!"

"Maalish!"

"The government first declared Eid on Saturday and now is saying it's on Friday! How can you just play around with the Islamic calendar?"

"Maalish!"

"I ordered 7 bananas, you only delivered 6!"

"Sorry, sir ... Maalish?"

(As an aside, you can actually get your groceries delivered to your house, for free. I am still trying to get my head around that one.)

Can this actually work in a Western context?

"Hey! You were supposed to have sent me this report three days ago!"

"Maalish!"

"You want to go for holidays for how many weeks?!"

"Maalish!"

"This blog post has absolutely no point!"

"Maalish!"

A Blessing in Disguise

I am currently in Dubai for a much needed vacation.

Overheard the following conversation between two at Fajr prayer at a local mosque:

Voice 1: Oh, I love coming to the mosque. Look, there's some blessing inside here, inside this community. The prayer is over, but no one wants to leave. Can you feel the rahmat, the barkat, the blessing?

Voice 2: It's just air conditioning. You know it's as hot as a furnace outside, that's why you don't want to leave ...


 

Boston

This summer I had the opportunity to visit Boston. I had always wanted to see this city - one of the few American cities with actual history (the American Revolution originated in Boston in the 1770s). Our hotel was right downtown, and I found out that Boston is a very small, walkable city.

This was the Old Boston City Hall, one of the first buildings built in the USA in the French Second Empire style of architecture. Of course, it also housed a famous steak house (mmm ... steak!).

Boston has what is called the "Freedom Trail".

This is a red trail engraved (or marked) along the pavement that goes all around Boston and stops at each significant landmark connected to the American Revolution. So you can start anywhere on this trail and when you are done, you have walked around Boston and seen their most important sights. Highly useful for OCDC tourists like me!

Below is The Old South Meeting House (built 1729) that gained fame as the organizing point for the Boston Tea Party on December 16, 1773, and the Old State House, where the British massacred Americans (not quite the "special relationship" then).

The weather was great, and I walked over the Feneuil Hall and Quincy Market.

It did not feel like I was visiting New England, as famous for its cold winters as it is for seafood cuisine. The temperature was in the high 30s (celcius) and everyone was out in the street in the bare minimums. There were street performers and everyone was eating on the patios. I felt like I was in Los Angeles.

Boston also has the oldest restaurant in the United States - the Union Oyster House.

I loved it so much I went there twice during our stay.

Speaking about food, I had some of the best seafood dishes I have ever had in North America. As a Muslim, you have to be careful though - even though all seafood is allowed in Islam, in Boston what passes for seafood may not be seafood! For example I was surprised to find that the famous clam chowder (which you would think would have, oh I don't know, clam) contains pork. So I had the fish chowder instead. Shown below is my favourite - the shrimp and scallops at Union Oyster House, the soft shell crab at this place whose name I don't remember, and the tuna special at Legal Seafood.

 

Boston is also famous for two institutions of higher learning, the Massuchussets Institute of Technology (MIT) and Harvard.

 

I was really impressed with MIT. I visited their labs (everything is open and you can walk in anywhere) and their research looked like it was 20 years ahead of the rest of the world. Then I realized the high, high, high tuition amount kids at these institutions pay to attend.

I love cities with rivers in them - it adds to a dynamic and vibrant scene, especially in the summer.

Overall, Boston is one of those American cities with a lot of character. It's small enough to be cosy, yet offers a lot to do in 2-3 days.

Confessions of a New Parent

Things not to say to your wife when she is in a 20-hour labour:
"Oh, man, this hospital doesn't have wi-fi!"

"I have been standing for an hour! My feet are killing me."

Things a nurse shouldn't say to you just because you are desi:

"You have a beautiful baby. Namaste!" Namaste?!!!

Things then you should (probably) do in front of said nurse (but will end up doing in private):

Say the Azaan in the baby's right ear. Ikamah in the left. Watch baby smile.

The time when your baby looks like you:

The time when your relatives see the baby to when her relatives see the baby.

Things you miss as a new parent:

Free time.

Going to the movies.

Free time.

Coming home from work to a fresh home-cooked meal.

A clean house.

Free time.

Ability to go out at will without worrying about feeding time and nappies.

Did I mention free time?

Why it's all (and much, much, more) so worth it:

When his first word is "Abbu" (father)! Well, my wife thinks differently but this is my blog ...

Every day I thank Allah for His marvellous gift and blessing (amongst others).

And remember! Your Lord caused to be declared (publicly): “If you are grateful, I will add more (favors) unto you; But if you show ingratitude, truly My punishment is terrible indeed.” (Quran 14:7)

We created Man from a drop of mingled sperm, in order to try him: So We gave him (the gifts), of Hearing and Sight. We showed him the Way: whether he be grateful or ungrateful (rests on his will). (Quran 76:2-3)

And He gives you all that you ask for. But if you count the favours of Allah, never will you be able to number them. Verily, man is generally most unjust and ungrateful. (Quran 14:34)

Please keep our new bundle of joy and our family in your prayers, everyone.

Where are the Girls in this Mosque?

I was shopping in another part of Toronto the other day, accompanied by my siblings, and it was time for the Maghreb prayer. There was a big mosque nearby and we drove there. There was one entrance called "Sisters' Entrance", my sister entered from there, while my brother and I walked around the mosque to enter via the main entrance - aka the "brother's entrance".

It was a very nice, huge, ornate, well designed mosque. It was also quite new; the mosque used to be two portables fitting around 40 people before, now this was a proper mosque accomodating thousands. The main prayers were over; so my brother and I prayed by ourselves. The main prayer hall was divided into two sections - a glass barrier separating the dimly lit "private" space from the main hall - this is where we prayed. The sisters' area was upstairs.
As we finished praying, I noticed there was a dars (a lesson) going on. I sat down and listened for a bit. The speaker was an old bearded man, he sat in the centre of the main hall surrounded by kids and adults, and he was speaking in flawless English. The topic of the speech was taking lessons from the life of the Prophets and applying it to modern times. As I listened, I realized the speaker was really good, and the speech was excellent. The kids listened with rapt attention.
And yet ... take a look at the picture below.

Everyone shown around the speaker is a male. The adults were male, the kids were male, and of course the speaker was male. Where are the females.
"Oh, they are upstairs, listening too," Answered someone, when I asked them. "We have speakers and close circuit TV."
This is the problem, the big problem, in today's Muslim organizations. If you take a look at this picure, there is a LOT of empty space behind the men, in the MAIN prayer hall. Why can't girls sit here, in close proximity to the speaker, so they can personally ask him questions, or be inspired in way that only a face-to-face conversation can? Sitting behind the men will satisfy any requirements that orthodox Muslims can throw at them, and not to mention, teaching women this way is actually a sunnah.
I remember going to these classes, sometimes as a kid, often as an adult, when a well known speaker would come to the mosque, and being inspired by the Islamic knowledge imparted. If my sister or wife would attend, sometimes I would wonder why they were not similarly impressed. Hard to be impressed when you are looking at a curtain, I think!
I was reading Cartoon Muhammad's article "The Need for Muslim Women Leaders". He is on the mark on how certain segments of the mosque community (let's be candid - it's the more "religious" folk) who construct barriers (literally and figuratively) against Muslim women speakers.
However, the problem that I saw in this mosque, in this dars, prevent women from seeking knowledge in the first place. Muslim Student Associations all across Canada talk about Israel Apartheid, but we have to be honest and admit there remains an Apartheid system in many of our mosques that discriminate against half our community - the girls.
Contrast this to the times of Caliph Umar (the Caliph of the Muslim empire!) being corrected by a woman during a Friday Khutbah! Or even contrast this with the Sayeda Khadija Centre in Mississauga, Ontario. When I was there, the first few rows were occupied by men, and the next few rows were occupied by women. Sisters conversed with the imam (who was standing, in person, a mere 50 feet away from them). And this was no progressive "flaky" imam, this was Imam Hamid Slimi who also teaches at the prestigious Islamic Institute of Toronto.
If you are a woman, which mosque would you go to?

Why I Prefer Chinese Restaurants over Pakistani

In Toronto we are blessed to have such high quality Pakistani and Chinese restaurants, that too halal, in a major Western city. Over the last few years though, I find myself saying "Chinese" whenever someone asks my vote for a restaurant to go to. The other day I was at a Pakistani restaurant, and I found myself (much to The Wife's chagrin) mentally composing a blog post on why Pakistani restaurants suck and why Chinese restaurants rule.

Here's the top three reasons:

1. Where's the beef (or chicken, or lamb)?

I was at this Pakistani place and we ordered 'butter chicken'.


The dish cost something like $8 and there was 4 pieces of small boneless chicken in it, and the rest was the gravy. Yes, four. So, in essence, I paid $2 for each nugget-sized chicken piece.

Now compare this to what you get when you order a chilli chicken dish (around the same price - $8).



Not only do you get ALL THAT chicken, but most of the time they also give you a plate of rice to go with it!

2. No Tension Eating

The acute problem of portion sizes makes itself keenly felt when you are eating at a Pakistani restaurant. At one corner of your mind, you have to remind yourself that you have approximately x² area of naan left. This has to go with y³ volume of butter chicken gravy remaining, divided by z number of people, so eat accordingly.

At a Chinese restaurant, you just eat. There's enough for everyone. Hell, there's enough for everyone PLUS you get to take some home AND have it for lunch at work the next day.

3. Chinese food is something different.

You see this food?


I have no idea what this is, but I know it's halal, and tasty. Pakistani food, well, while exotic, it's something I can make at home.

Yes, the taste may not exactly be the same, but Shaan Masala Zindabad. With that, you can make ANY thing. Chinese food, no matter how much you try, is good only in the restaurant. Plus, I did try to make chilli chicken at home once. It costs more to buy the meat and ingredients and factor in my labour cost than to just drive to the restaurant and order a take out (the concerns that raises might be a post for another day).

So, bottom line, why would I pay more, to eat less, of what I can make in my kitchen anyways? That's why I love Chinese restaurants.

I was so nervous today

So Sachin finally scores his hundredth 100, and it's the SECOND piece of news on Cricinfo ?! hehehe ...


Shabash Bangladesh!

The Chicken or Egg Paradox and Islam

Me: "You know, I have NEVER understood the chicken and egg paradox."

Wife: "Oh, it's simple. Which came first, the chicken, or the egg? It's it's the egg, who laid it? If it's the chicken, and all chickens come from eggs, so ..."

Me: "I understand the paradox all right. I am just saying it's NOT a paradox. I know the answer. It's THE CHICKEN."

Wife [puzzled]: "So how can you be so sure? Prove it."

Me [with an extremely self satisfied smug]: "Easy. This paradox depends on a non-defined starting point. Well, we all know Allah created everything. He started everything. So, He created a pair of chickens. They then laid eggs, and so on. Ergo, the chicken came first. QED."

There was a pause. This was it, I thought. A seminal moment in history. The age old paradox solved by Islam. Islam - the religion that has the answer to everything.

And then ...

Wife: "What if Allah created a pair of eggs?"

Why Muslim Feminists Don't Win

Amongst my friends, I have been told that I have what can be termed as "traditional" or "conservative" views. I don't think Islam needs any reformation (now Muslims are another story), I don't think it's a travesty women cannot lead a mixed gender congregation, and so on. Yet, being of this generation, I am more liberal than say, my father.

So the other day we were talking about our local mosque. To my surprise, he agreed it's a travesty that women are put behind a barrier (or on another floor), where they can't directly see the imam. There was a problem with the microphone and close circuit TV last Friday, and the women couldn't follow the prayers. We both like to go to IIT, where the prayer hall is a large open hall and the men pray in front of the women, with no dividers. Another time we attended the Sayeda Khadija Centre in Mississauga, where the women pray directly behind the men and again, no divider. The imam listened to the questions posed by the women and answered immediately, without any notes being passed as in our local mosque. Both my father and I agreed that it was a joke that our mosque tried to make women and men exit from separate doors when the mosque was packed (and it was a fire hazard). They allowed men and women to enter from the same doors, so what is the trouble? And if I wanted to attend a lecture in the mosque with my wife, why does she have to sit in another section?

So when I see the legitimate concerns posed by many women frustrated by their treatment in South Asian or Arab dominated mosques, I feel their pain. However, if change is needed, they need to win over the support of people like us, who believe in traditional teachings and yet see room for a lot of improvement within the Islamic framework.

So here is why I think Muslim "feminists" are not taken seriously.

1. They don't present a credible image.

It's hard to take someone speaking about Islamic daleel and fiqh and jurisprudence when they look like this. Like it or not, you have to make yourself presentable and look credible, otherwise no one will listen to what you have to say. Any Muslim will agree that modesty is one defining character of a decent Muslim, men AND women. While no one is arguing everyone has to be dressed in a scarf or niqab to be taken seriously, sleeveless blouses and short skirts give the idea that you have another secret agenda not limited to women's emancipation in mosques.

Think about why the above feminist may not be taken as seriously, as say this next one:

It's about presenting a credible image.

2. They think men and women are the same in Islam.

Strictly speaking, technically this is not true. Islam discriminates against men and favours women. For example, on the Day of Judgement, Allah will not ask a mother why she didn't provide for her child. It will be asked of the child's father. He will be questioned as to why he couldn't impart Islamic teachings to his children. A woman is not asked about Jihad or why she didn't go to the mosque and watched Humsafar instead. We men don't have Paradise under our feet, women do. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) promised Paradise for a father of two daughters. No such promise was made for a man who fathered two sons. And so on.

So when you try to make a woman equal to a man, you have to be aware this was the fight of the Western feminists. For example, this text is from the Catholic Encyclopedia today:

The female sex is in some respects inferior to the male sex, both as regards body and soul.

As can be seen, the Old Testament blames women for Adam's fall from Heaven (as a result of which she is "punished" with child birth and menstruation pains). This was the prevailing attitude that Western women had to fight, when they were considered inferior in every way.

In Islam, the battle is different. Women have certain God-given rights, such as access to the mosque, access to the imam, legal rights, decision making rights etc. that have now been taken away from them (hello Saudi Arabia and your stupid driving ban). Those are the fights the feminists need to fight for. There is no need to make women to be equal to men, we need women to exercise their own God-given rights.

3. They pick the wrong fights.

By trying to say a woman can lead a mixed gender prayer, you are picking the wrong fight. A women's position is neither elevated nor her difficulties decreased by making her the imam. Technically speaking the imam is responsible for all the mistakes made during prayer, while those that follow get all the rewards of the prayer. In strict Islamic law, certain responsibilities (and its pitfalls) are for men alone; bringing a women here does her no benefits. Rather, the fight should be as to why she can't see her imam or ask him a question or is being deprived of an Islamic education from a learned scholar.

Similarly some are upset that a brother gets more in inheritance than a sister, from the same dad. The same feminists also acknowledge that when a man gets a property, he can be responsible for supporting his mother, his sisters, his kids, his father, and in some cases, his grandparents and his aunts. When a woman gets a property, she does not have to support anyone. If you want to give a woman equal rights to inheritance, are you prepared to also put on her all those claims of support? So in effect, you are burdening her more than Allah has burdened her, and this is supposed to benefit her?

This is because you have picked the wrong fight. The proper fight is when brothers take over their sister's inheritance, because she "is of feeble mind and cannot manage it". The proper fight is when a wife is not given her due Mahr because her father or brothers "forgave it" from the husband. The proper fight is when a woman is not allowed to own a business or run her monetary affairs without her husband's permission.

Not that she has less financial responsibilities and you want to burden her with more.

This is why feminists in Saudi Arabia (of all places) were spectacularly successful in getting rights for women to work (which they have in Islam but are denied in some Muslim countries) in lingerie shops, because they asked for their rights as women to be respected within Islam.

So, in conclusion:

Provide a modest, credible image.

Be well verses in Islamic knowledge and jurisprudence regarding women.

Pick the right battles.