So, 5 teams from my original picks for the quarter-finals made it through. I must say Fayyad was right when he said experience matters. In Holland's case they were a young an inexperienced team to Portugal's Golden Generation, and it showed. The Portuguese were successful in ragging the Dutch and making them lose their composure.
France! France! From my childhood I remember Arabic football commentary where they would go "GOOOOOOOAAAAAL" and repeat it ten times - when the player went near the net (forget scoring the goal) - followed by 'Halwa! Halwa! Halwa!'. Except when France played, they would scream Zidane instead of 'GOAL'. Well yesterday, the French showed the value of experience and history. Spain has never defeated France at a competitive match and it showed. This is why when you have a close cricket ODI game between Australia and England, bet on Australia. When you have penalty kicks between Germany and England, bet on Germany. When you have a close cricket game between South Africa and Australia, DON'T bet on South Africa. History, experience matters. They will show a trend and the same team winning.
So, without any further ado, here are my quarter final predictions.
Germany vs. Argentina
Both have scored lots of goals, but Germany scored them against various teams while Argentina mostly against one. Germany has no wonder goals while Argentina a half a dozen. German defence is organized but weak while Argentina attack is strong. Germany is playing at home and looks better with each outing. Argentina looks jaded. The Mexican game was destined for penalty kicks until the miracle strike. At the end, German's home support and Klose will get them through.
Winner: Germany.
Italy vs. Ukraine
Italy has looked in form. Italy outplayed Australia being a man down. The so-called 'stubborn' Ukraine defence leaked 4 goals against Spain. Italy to take this low scoring snoozefest of a game. Ideally I would like to see both teams lose.
Winner: Italy.
England vs. Portugal
England has continued to play in an ugly but effective manner. Portugal will be muted slightly with the loss of Deco but they will take the challenge to England. However Beckham looks inspired and could be the difference.
Winner: England. *touch wood*
Brazil vs. France
I am going to go out on a limb here and predict a French victory. If they play anywhere close to how they played yesterday against Spain, Brazil is toast. They looked highly unimpressive against Ghana. One goal could have been offside, and had Ghana shown some ruthless finishing, we could have had a game.
And please, that 25-pass move that all Brazil fans are claiming outshone Argentina's 24-pass goal against Serbia? Pmffh! Argentina weaved their way through the Serbian defence in their opponent's half and scored while the game was still in balance. Brazil scored while the game was dead, they passed in their own half before using a lucky long ball.
Winner: France.
Tags: FIFA World Cup
The personal, official blog of author Mezbauddin Mahtab
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
The Italian Job
We were in a sports bar near work, during lunch hour, catching the Italy-Australia game. It was packed with supporters, mostly Italian, with a few Australian drinkers in between. I had an Inter-milan shirt on too. Even though I was supporting Italy, I also wanted to see goals, and even cheered whenever the 'Roos got a touch on the ball. Must have presented a confused sight to the other fans.
Suddenly, while it was still in the middle of the first half and the Azzuri owned the 'Roos, a man walked into the bar. This is not a joke. He was white, tall, extremely weird looking (like one of those Psycho movies), glasses, thin hair and sweating profusely (it was a cold day). He had a briefcase with him. He panted, walked up to an empty chair, placed the briefcase on the chair, and exited the bar without speaking a single word.
We all looked at one another in amazement. Then at the door where the man had just left. Slowly, everyone's attention drifted away from the screen and turned to the lone briefcase lying on the chair, unattended. Was it our imagination or was there a ticking sound from the briefcase. We all started to move uneasily. From somewhere a voice came out, "Um... call the cops?"
Suddenly, after what seemed like an eternity but was probably five minutes, the man returned. He had just gone out for a smoke! We all sheepishly turned back to the drama on the pitch. Recent arrests of alleged terrorists in your city does that to you.
When the officials called THREE minutes of stoppage time in the second half I just felt it. There was NO WAY the stoppage time could be that high (there were hardly any stops to the flow of the game in the half). Someone up there (in FIFA) decided to play it until one team *cough*Italy*cough* won.
When the ref called the penalty in the 94th minute (remember THREE minutes of stoppage time?) it was all over for the 'Roos. The Italians may claim it was a penalty, but the rest of the world knows. At worst, the Aussie player could be called for obstruction which is AN INDIRECT FREEKICK and contrary to popular misconception CAN Be taken from inside the penalty box. While Italy was the better team it was sad that it took a referee's false call *eyebrows raised* to let them win 1-0 over the plucky Australians. Cheaters never prosper? Try telling that to the Italian team [secret training video].
So in the end my team won, but it was a dirty victory.
Tags: World Cup Italy Australia FIFA
Suddenly, while it was still in the middle of the first half and the Azzuri owned the 'Roos, a man walked into the bar. This is not a joke. He was white, tall, extremely weird looking (like one of those Psycho movies), glasses, thin hair and sweating profusely (it was a cold day). He had a briefcase with him. He panted, walked up to an empty chair, placed the briefcase on the chair, and exited the bar without speaking a single word.
We all looked at one another in amazement. Then at the door where the man had just left. Slowly, everyone's attention drifted away from the screen and turned to the lone briefcase lying on the chair, unattended. Was it our imagination or was there a ticking sound from the briefcase. We all started to move uneasily. From somewhere a voice came out, "Um... call the cops?"
Suddenly, after what seemed like an eternity but was probably five minutes, the man returned. He had just gone out for a smoke! We all sheepishly turned back to the drama on the pitch. Recent arrests of alleged terrorists in your city does that to you.
When the officials called THREE minutes of stoppage time in the second half I just felt it. There was NO WAY the stoppage time could be that high (there were hardly any stops to the flow of the game in the half). Someone up there (in FIFA) decided to play it until one team *cough*Italy*cough* won.
When the ref called the penalty in the 94th minute (remember THREE minutes of stoppage time?) it was all over for the 'Roos. The Italians may claim it was a penalty, but the rest of the world knows. At worst, the Aussie player could be called for obstruction which is AN INDIRECT FREEKICK and contrary to popular misconception CAN Be taken from inside the penalty box. While Italy was the better team it was sad that it took a referee's false call *eyebrows raised* to let them win 1-0 over the plucky Australians. Cheaters never prosper? Try telling that to the Italian team [secret training video].
So in the end my team won, but it was a dirty victory.
Tags: World Cup Italy Australia FIFA
Saturday, June 24, 2006
Desis Rude?
We all tend to have a bit of laugh at ourselves time to time, but recently Mumbai was accused of being the rudest city on earth. While it's an Indian city and not a Bangladeshi one, I am entirely sure had Reader's Digest done the same survey in Dhaka we would have ranked alongside Mumbai. Same customs, similar people.
First, here's the survey. I do not agree with it at all, even though Toronto is 3rd on the list of polite cities. It is the most bogus piece of trash I have read from that magazine. Here's why.
New York is ranked the most polite city on earth.
No matter how you try to spin that, it's plain wrong. There is no way NYC is the most polite city on earth. Hell, no. I am sorry for you if you live in New York. Really I am. I once asked a POLICE officer where the stadium was (we were on our way to a ball game). He looked at me, and said, "Well, as this sign here says in ENGLISH the stadium is this way..."
Toronto rules.
The criteria used was too Western. Naturally all the Western cities ranked up there (most polite) while Asian cities were rude. Let's see these 'criteria'.
- whether people opened doors for others in public buildings.
Do you know the population of any city in Asia? And how many of them are on their way to some public building at any given time? If you remain standing holding the door open for everyone you will never get in. Besides, those doors are of really old buildings and made of real wood, often years old. They are heavy. We push our own doors.
- whether they helped pick up papers dropped on a busy street.
Ever watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? Rani drops her books and SRK is right there to help her pick it up, along with his 'dosti' bracelet. Seriously, the definition of 'busy street' in Asia is different - it's really busy. As soon as you drop something, it's trampled by millions of people. So we don't drop it in the first place, and if we do, we don't pick it up as it's damaged beyond repair. No wonder we desis are efficient.
- whether a shopkeeper said "thank you" when a purchase - big or small - was made.
Well, the last time a few British came to India to do a little bit of trade. They came to Bengal too, under Robert Clive. Some company called the East India Trading Company. We said thank you. They liked it so much that they remained for 400 years. So we don't do it anymore.
Tags: Mumbai Rude Reader's Digest
BBC: Mumbai disputes 'rudest city' tag
First, here's the survey. I do not agree with it at all, even though Toronto is 3rd on the list of polite cities. It is the most bogus piece of trash I have read from that magazine. Here's why.
No matter how you try to spin that, it's plain wrong. There is no way NYC is the most polite city on earth. Hell, no. I am sorry for you if you live in New York. Really I am. I once asked a POLICE officer where the stadium was (we were on our way to a ball game). He looked at me, and said, "Well, as this sign here says in ENGLISH the stadium is this way..."
Toronto rules.
- whether people opened doors for others in public buildings.
Do you know the population of any city in Asia? And how many of them are on their way to some public building at any given time? If you remain standing holding the door open for everyone you will never get in. Besides, those doors are of really old buildings and made of real wood, often years old. They are heavy. We push our own doors.
- whether they helped pick up papers dropped on a busy street.
Ever watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai? Rani drops her books and SRK is right there to help her pick it up, along with his 'dosti' bracelet. Seriously, the definition of 'busy street' in Asia is different - it's really busy. As soon as you drop something, it's trampled by millions of people. So we don't drop it in the first place, and if we do, we don't pick it up as it's damaged beyond repair. No wonder we desis are efficient.
- whether a shopkeeper said "thank you" when a purchase - big or small - was made.
Well, the last time a few British came to India to do a little bit of trade. They came to Bengal too, under Robert Clive. Some company called the East India Trading Company. We said thank you. They liked it so much that they remained for 400 years. So we don't do it anymore.
Tags: Mumbai Rude Reader's Digest
BBC: Mumbai disputes 'rudest city' tag
Friday, June 23, 2006
World Cup Predictions - 2
Going back over the predictions I made at the start of the tournament, I managed to correctly pick out 13 of the 16 teams for the Round-of-16. Ivory Coast has been a disappointment - if only their defence had been a little bit more disciplined, if only one of their chances had gone in against Holland, then the final matches of Group C would have been crackers.
I am supporting England. I don't want Brazil to win it AGAIN. They are good but c'mon let someone else win. I hope Ghana kicks their ass (not happening). So without meeting any meaningful opposition Brazil are on their way to the quarter finals and possibly the semis.
The form teams of the tournament so far are Germany, Argentina (but ofcourse), Spain, Italy (tendency to sit on a 1-0 lead may haunt them), Portugal (good coach but not too great players) and Brazil. England has been stumbling while France does not deserve to be here. My underdog team that I am rooting for is Australia. Croatia-Australia was the match of the tournament so far.
So, without any further ado, here are my knockout predictions.
Germany vs. Sweden
Sweden will be a handful for Germany but I expect the home team to prevail. It will be low scoring hard fought match (two European teams generally play out in the midfield).
Winner: Germany.
Argentina vs. Mexico
Historically Argentina had trouble against American teams but I don't expect them to break too much sweat in dealing with Mexico. Mexico are vulnerable against pacy counter attacks (as they showed against Portugal) which Argentina are good at (as shown against Ivory Coast).
Winner: Argentina.
England vs. Ecuador
If Rio Ferdinand is fit then I expect England to canter to a 3-0 win over Ecuador. The South American team can be frustrated by an organized defence and lack the quality strikers to penetrate. If Ferdinand is not fit, England will still win, but barely.
Winner: England.
Portugal vs. Netherlands
Tough one to call. Portugal has Figo while Robben stars for the Dutch. Equally matched in almost every category, I would give the Portuguese the slightest edge, as they have Scolari, a great coach. Plus, if the match goes to penalty kicks, the Dutch don't have a good record of winning those.
Winner: Portugal.
Italy vs. Australia
Much as everyone would like the Aussies to take this one, with Gus being a great tactical coach, the Aussies have too many problems to finish off a stubborn side such as the Italians. They don't know who will be the starting goalie, for one. Two, the Italians are great at set pieces, and the Aussies not so great at defending them. Three, the Italians have too much depth, experience and talent to lose to Australia. However, if the Italians take an early 1-0 lead and then decide to sit back, the Aussies WILL equalize. The way to beat Australia is to play attacking football.
Winner: Italy.
Switzerland vs. Ukraine
The worst sides to qualify for the second round play against each other. Given that Ukraine struggled to break down the 10-men Tunisian defence whereas the Swiss honed their skills playing against France and Turkey through the qualifiers, I expect a Swiss victory.
Winner: Switzerland.
Brazil vs. Ghana
Wouldn't we all love David to kill the Goliath once more? Sadly, Brazil has too much class to let the Africans trouble them. Well Ghana, you had your fun, you managed to put a smile on some peoples' faces and had your party, but now it's time to take your ball and your Israel flags and go home.
Winner: Brazil (by a distance).
Spain vs. France
The eternal bridesmaid versus the once beautiful maiden now ugly old hag. Whoever scores first will win. I expect Spain to take this, but just. France is not out yet, their coach looks like he has learnt the lessons taught by Korea in the game against Togo. Then again, it was Togo.
Winner: Spain.
Tags: FIFA World Cup
I am supporting England. I don't want Brazil to win it AGAIN. They are good but c'mon let someone else win. I hope Ghana kicks their ass (not happening). So without meeting any meaningful opposition Brazil are on their way to the quarter finals and possibly the semis.
The form teams of the tournament so far are Germany, Argentina (but ofcourse), Spain, Italy (tendency to sit on a 1-0 lead may haunt them), Portugal (good coach but not too great players) and Brazil. England has been stumbling while France does not deserve to be here. My underdog team that I am rooting for is Australia. Croatia-Australia was the match of the tournament so far.
So, without any further ado, here are my knockout predictions.
Germany vs. Sweden
Sweden will be a handful for Germany but I expect the home team to prevail. It will be low scoring hard fought match (two European teams generally play out in the midfield).
Winner: Germany.
Argentina vs. Mexico
Historically Argentina had trouble against American teams but I don't expect them to break too much sweat in dealing with Mexico. Mexico are vulnerable against pacy counter attacks (as they showed against Portugal) which Argentina are good at (as shown against Ivory Coast).
Winner: Argentina.
England vs. Ecuador
If Rio Ferdinand is fit then I expect England to canter to a 3-0 win over Ecuador. The South American team can be frustrated by an organized defence and lack the quality strikers to penetrate. If Ferdinand is not fit, England will still win, but barely.
Winner: England.
Portugal vs. Netherlands
Tough one to call. Portugal has Figo while Robben stars for the Dutch. Equally matched in almost every category, I would give the Portuguese the slightest edge, as they have Scolari, a great coach. Plus, if the match goes to penalty kicks, the Dutch don't have a good record of winning those.
Winner: Portugal.
Italy vs. Australia
Much as everyone would like the Aussies to take this one, with Gus being a great tactical coach, the Aussies have too many problems to finish off a stubborn side such as the Italians. They don't know who will be the starting goalie, for one. Two, the Italians are great at set pieces, and the Aussies not so great at defending them. Three, the Italians have too much depth, experience and talent to lose to Australia. However, if the Italians take an early 1-0 lead and then decide to sit back, the Aussies WILL equalize. The way to beat Australia is to play attacking football.
Winner: Italy.
Switzerland vs. Ukraine
The worst sides to qualify for the second round play against each other. Given that Ukraine struggled to break down the 10-men Tunisian defence whereas the Swiss honed their skills playing against France and Turkey through the qualifiers, I expect a Swiss victory.
Winner: Switzerland.
Brazil vs. Ghana
Wouldn't we all love David to kill the Goliath once more? Sadly, Brazil has too much class to let the Africans trouble them. Well Ghana, you had your fun, you managed to put a smile on some peoples' faces and had your party, but now it's time to take your ball and your Israel flags and go home.
Winner: Brazil (by a distance).
Spain vs. France
The eternal bridesmaid versus the once beautiful maiden now ugly old hag. Whoever scores first will win. I expect Spain to take this, but just. France is not out yet, their coach looks like he has learnt the lessons taught by Korea in the game against Togo. Then again, it was Togo.
Winner: Spain.
Tags: FIFA World Cup
Monday, June 19, 2006
World Cup Flags
I was with some friends at the mall when one bought an England flag to attach to his car.
"That's such a bad investment." Another remarked, "England will likely go out in the quarter finals and your flag will be useless. You'd better buy a Brazil or Argentina."
The flag buyer looked around, lowered his voice and said, "Whenever England gets out, I will return this flag and exchange it for the current favourite and continue. Repeat if necessary. Thank God for Walmart's no questions asked returns policy."
That's our desi way of jumping on the world cup bandwagon.
I have noticed that during the World Cup, the flag wavers tend to be of the following types:
- Casual fans: They like this one team. It could be their country of origin. They will buy this one flag. And when the team is out, the flag disappears for another four years.
- Super fans: They like this one team. A lot. The flags will fly from all windows, nooks and crannies of their car. In the heat of the summer they cannot roll down their windows for fear of losing a flag.
- Confused fan: Then there is the fan who does not know which team he will support. So he puts out multiple flags of various counties. Also known as the 'Hedging My Bets' fan.
And finally, we have the
- Proud-To-Be-Canadian fan: This dude is just mad that normally cool folks are flying flags of countries he has never heard of. Besides, the national sports of Canada is HOCKEY dammit, not soccer! So he first flies the flag of a Canadian hockey team. But we know they suck and will soon be out of the playoffs, so now this guy is left fighting a lone battle flying the Canada flag.
BTW there IS a desi player in the world cup! [link]
Tags: World Cup
"That's such a bad investment." Another remarked, "England will likely go out in the quarter finals and your flag will be useless. You'd better buy a Brazil or Argentina."
The flag buyer looked around, lowered his voice and said, "Whenever England gets out, I will return this flag and exchange it for the current favourite and continue. Repeat if necessary. Thank God for Walmart's no questions asked returns policy."
That's our desi way of jumping on the world cup bandwagon.
I have noticed that during the World Cup, the flag wavers tend to be of the following types:
- Casual fans: They like this one team. It could be their country of origin. They will buy this one flag. And when the team is out, the flag disappears for another four years.
- Super fans: They like this one team. A lot. The flags will fly from all windows, nooks and crannies of their car. In the heat of the summer they cannot roll down their windows for fear of losing a flag.
- Confused fan: Then there is the fan who does not know which team he will support. So he puts out multiple flags of various counties. Also known as the 'Hedging My Bets' fan.
And finally, we have the
- Proud-To-Be-Canadian fan: This dude is just mad that normally cool folks are flying flags of countries he has never heard of. Besides, the national sports of Canada is HOCKEY dammit, not soccer! So he first flies the flag of a Canadian hockey team. But we know they suck and will soon be out of the playoffs, so now this guy is left fighting a lone battle flying the Canada flag.
BTW there IS a desi player in the world cup! [link]
Tags: World Cup
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
The Home-Sweet-Home Syndrome
"You should go to Bangladesh and marry someone there," advised a rather pompous uncle. "Girls here are too modern."
An amazing comment to make, as he himself was the father of two girls, raising them here from a very early age. However, he was not alone in making that comment to me in recent times. Apparently, if I marry some girl who has been brought up in Canada or is living somewhere in the West, she would a) not cook for me b) not respect me at all as all girls living here are beyaadober haadi ('bone' of rudeness) c) will have had previous relationships and d) will never care for my parents.
However, if I marry someone from Bangladesh (desher meye) I gather she will a) be able to give the chef at Sheraton a good competition from the amount of dishes she can make, b) will never refuse my commands (a robot?) c) will be 'pure' and Islamic d) will never ever dream of having her own home and will be shocked if I suggest getting our own place e) can sing like a nightingale and f) be an angel from the Garden.
Now I have been to Bangladesh couple of years back, having returned after a long time, and I can tell you things are not the Bollywood rosy picture they are portrayed to be. Hell, if you watch the Indian teleserials the villain in most of them will be the wife of the second brother imported from Kanpur. I call this picture of an ideal Bangladesh where the people sleep on flower beds and wake up to a beautiful morning by the cry of the rooster the 'Home-Sweet-Home' syndrome. Reality could be VERY different.
I am making generalizations, true, but aren't these uncles as well? Have they ever been to some of the university hang-outs? Shopping malls? Moghul gardens? Many of my friends and relatives who are in Bangladesh, my age, have met their spouses not through arranged marriage but by themselves. In many cases, they have gone out together for years, engaged in various levels of physical intimacy before committing to marital vows. In many cases, it hadn't worked out and they had moved on to other people. In some respects, they are more modern than people here.
As always, there are no generalizations. There are quite a huge number of guys and girls in Bangladesh who still adhere to family and religious values and keep themselves chaste. However, the guarantee that some older folk here make, that you go to Bangladesh and whoever you marry will be a chaste virgin who has never talked to a guy and knows how to make roti, polao, gulab jamun, porota and manchurian chicken is ... wrong.
Tags: Bangladesh Desi
An amazing comment to make, as he himself was the father of two girls, raising them here from a very early age. However, he was not alone in making that comment to me in recent times. Apparently, if I marry some girl who has been brought up in Canada or is living somewhere in the West, she would a) not cook for me b) not respect me at all as all girls living here are beyaadober haadi ('bone' of rudeness) c) will have had previous relationships and d) will never care for my parents.
However, if I marry someone from Bangladesh (desher meye) I gather she will a) be able to give the chef at Sheraton a good competition from the amount of dishes she can make, b) will never refuse my commands (a robot?) c) will be 'pure' and Islamic d) will never ever dream of having her own home and will be shocked if I suggest getting our own place e) can sing like a nightingale and f) be an angel from the Garden.
Now I have been to Bangladesh couple of years back, having returned after a long time, and I can tell you things are not the Bollywood rosy picture they are portrayed to be. Hell, if you watch the Indian teleserials the villain in most of them will be the wife of the second brother imported from Kanpur. I call this picture of an ideal Bangladesh where the people sleep on flower beds and wake up to a beautiful morning by the cry of the rooster the 'Home-Sweet-Home' syndrome. Reality could be VERY different.
I am making generalizations, true, but aren't these uncles as well? Have they ever been to some of the university hang-outs? Shopping malls? Moghul gardens? Many of my friends and relatives who are in Bangladesh, my age, have met their spouses not through arranged marriage but by themselves. In many cases, they have gone out together for years, engaged in various levels of physical intimacy before committing to marital vows. In many cases, it hadn't worked out and they had moved on to other people. In some respects, they are more modern than people here.
As always, there are no generalizations. There are quite a huge number of guys and girls in Bangladesh who still adhere to family and religious values and keep themselves chaste. However, the guarantee that some older folk here make, that you go to Bangladesh and whoever you marry will be a chaste virgin who has never talked to a guy and knows how to make roti, polao, gulab jamun, porota and manchurian chicken is ... wrong.
Tags: Bangladesh Desi
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Shyamol Chhaya
I just finished watching the Bengali movie Shyamol Chhaya (2004), directed by Humayun Ahmed. To be frank, it was my dad who made me watch the movie (I owed him one after I made him watch Swades). I was expecting a sappy, bad effects movie but I was pleasantly surprised.
Ahmed uses the stories of the people on a boat, fleeing their village in 1971 for a safer village, as a parable for the society they are living in. Various characters are fleshed out in the 110 minute story, and the plot is littered with constant twists to ensure that any part does not drag too long. Competent acting by all concerned, and a brilliant entry in anyone's collection.
Shyamol Chhaya was Bangladesh's official submission to the 2006 Academy Awards. It also featured in the Palm Springs International Film Festival, as well as lots of others.
A scene from Shyamol Chhaya
Tags: Bangladesh Shyamol Chhaya
Ahmed uses the stories of the people on a boat, fleeing their village in 1971 for a safer village, as a parable for the society they are living in. Various characters are fleshed out in the 110 minute story, and the plot is littered with constant twists to ensure that any part does not drag too long. Competent acting by all concerned, and a brilliant entry in anyone's collection.
Shyamol Chhaya was Bangladesh's official submission to the 2006 Academy Awards. It also featured in the Palm Springs International Film Festival, as well as lots of others.
A scene from Shyamol Chhaya
Tags: Bangladesh Shyamol Chhaya
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Aishwarya Rai
I am talking with a friend about worthless movies. She asked me about the worst movie I saw this year.
"Mistress of Spices," I reply. "The book was passable but the movie stank."
"Who's in it?" She asked.
"Aishwarya."
"Oh, hmmphhhpssst!"
The last word was a cross between an expression of disgust, the hiss of an angry snake, followed with an excessive spitting action.
I have come to realize that brown girls hate Aishwarya Rai. Not just hate as in "I hate Mondays" category, but as in "if I see her on the road in front of my car I won't stop" category. Nearly every acquaintance of mine who happens to be a desi female has expressed this sentiment. And it's not because she's pretty. Angelina Jolie's pretty, but women don't seem to hate her with the same passion as what is reserved for Aishwarya.
"You don't like Aishwarya?" I continue.
"She's a terrible actress." Strike 1.
"She's good looking," I counter. "Extremely beautiful. If there was perfect-"
"She's a dumb bimbo." Strike 2.
"That has nothing to do with her looks. She looks good."
"She is ...." My friend seemed to struggle to find Strike 3. "How can you even say she is pretty? Ugh.. you men are so superficial. Hmmphhhpssst!"
I cannot understand why the vitriol is directed at Aishwarya. Let's face it - she is a baaaad actress. As in bad with a capital B. She has made some terrible movies. Yet, she is not dumb. Any actress with movies of thatsuccess flop rate would have married and have had kids by now. Yet, she is at the forefront of public demand. Her bad performance on Letterman aside, she has brains.
No desi woman will however concede to a man that Aishwarya Rai is beautiful. Only one girl I know conceded she could be "aesthetically pleasing".
Is there some actor we guys like to hate? I have seen guys stand around while their wives/girlfriends would exclaim "Oh I have to see this movie. It has Shah Rukh in it. Oh he's every woman's dream!" And the guy would be like "Heh". And continue sipping his coke-that-he-pretends-is-alcohol. We don't care. We somehow have convinced ourselves that if Brad Pitt would step between us somehow we would have qualities that Mr Jolie would lack. There is this one guy, though, that bugs me.
Abhishek Bachchan. Two or three years ago the guy's fashion sense was a green kurta with blue jeans and orange shoes (think Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya). He did a guest appearance in Neal 'n' Nikky for chrissake! And now, the guy's star is higher than his dad, his films are super successful, he is signing endorsements right and left, and has the fashion sense Italians would kill for.
What gives?
Tags: Desi Bollywood Aishwarya Rai
"Mistress of Spices," I reply. "The book was passable but the movie stank."
"Who's in it?" She asked.
"Aishwarya."
"Oh, hmmphhhpssst!"
The last word was a cross between an expression of disgust, the hiss of an angry snake, followed with an excessive spitting action.
I have come to realize that brown girls hate Aishwarya Rai. Not just hate as in "I hate Mondays" category, but as in "if I see her on the road in front of my car I won't stop" category. Nearly every acquaintance of mine who happens to be a desi female has expressed this sentiment. And it's not because she's pretty. Angelina Jolie's pretty, but women don't seem to hate her with the same passion as what is reserved for Aishwarya.
"You don't like Aishwarya?" I continue.
"She's a terrible actress." Strike 1.
"She's good looking," I counter. "Extremely beautiful. If there was perfect-"
"She's a dumb bimbo." Strike 2.
"That has nothing to do with her looks. She looks good."
"She is ...." My friend seemed to struggle to find Strike 3. "How can you even say she is pretty? Ugh.. you men are so superficial. Hmmphhhpssst!"
I cannot understand why the vitriol is directed at Aishwarya. Let's face it - she is a baaaad actress. As in bad with a capital B. She has made some terrible movies. Yet, she is not dumb. Any actress with movies of that
No desi woman will however concede to a man that Aishwarya Rai is beautiful. Only one girl I know conceded she could be "aesthetically pleasing".
Is there some actor we guys like to hate? I have seen guys stand around while their wives/girlfriends would exclaim "Oh I have to see this movie. It has Shah Rukh in it. Oh he's every woman's dream!" And the guy would be like "Heh". And continue sipping his coke-that-he-pretends-is-alcohol. We don't care. We somehow have convinced ourselves that if Brad Pitt would step between us somehow we would have qualities that Mr Jolie would lack. There is this one guy, though, that bugs me.
Abhishek Bachchan. Two or three years ago the guy's fashion sense was a green kurta with blue jeans and orange shoes (think Tera Jadoo Chal Gaya). He did a guest appearance in Neal 'n' Nikky for chrissake! And now, the guy's star is higher than his dad, his films are super successful, he is signing endorsements right and left, and has the fashion sense Italians would kill for.
What gives?
Tags: Desi Bollywood Aishwarya Rai
Saturday, June 03, 2006
World Cup Predictions
At the risk of ending up with egg on my face, here's my World Cup predictions.
First Round
Group A - Germany, Costa Rica.
Group B - England, Sweden.
Group C - Ivory Coast, Argentina.
Group D - Mexico, Portugal.
Group E - Czech Rep., Italy.
Group F - Brazil, Australia.
Group G - France, Switzerland.
Group H - Spain, Ukrain.
Round-of-16
Germany vs. Sweden - Germany.
Ivory Coast vs. Portugal - Ivory Coast.
England vs. Costa Rica - England.
Mexico vs. Argentina - Argentina.
Czech Rep. vs. Australia - Czech Rep.
France vs. Ukraine - France.
Brazil vs. Italy - Brazil.
Spain vs. Switzerland - Spain.
Quarter Finals
Germany vs. Ivory Coast - Germany.
Czech Rep. vs. France - Czech Rep.
England vs. Argentina - England.
Brazil vs. Spain - Brazil.
Semi Finals
Germany vs. Czech Rep. - Germany.
England vs. Brazil - Brazil.
3rd Place
England vs. Czech Rep. - England.
FINAL
Germany vs. Brazil - GERMANY.
Tags: FIFA World Cup
First Round
Group A - Germany, Costa Rica.
Group B - England, Sweden.
Group C - Ivory Coast, Argentina.
Group D - Mexico, Portugal.
Group E - Czech Rep., Italy.
Group F - Brazil, Australia.
Group G - France, Switzerland.
Group H - Spain, Ukrain.
Round-of-16
Germany vs. Sweden - Germany.
Ivory Coast vs. Portugal - Ivory Coast.
England vs. Costa Rica - England.
Mexico vs. Argentina - Argentina.
Czech Rep. vs. Australia - Czech Rep.
France vs. Ukraine - France.
Brazil vs. Italy - Brazil.
Spain vs. Switzerland - Spain.
Quarter Finals
Germany vs. Ivory Coast - Germany.
Czech Rep. vs. France - Czech Rep.
England vs. Argentina - England.
Brazil vs. Spain - Brazil.
Semi Finals
Germany vs. Czech Rep. - Germany.
England vs. Brazil - Brazil.
3rd Place
England vs. Czech Rep. - England.
FINAL
Germany vs. Brazil - GERMANY.
Tags: FIFA World Cup
Friday, June 02, 2006
Stephane Dion Interview
I had the chance to interview Hon. Stephane Dion, former Minister of Environment and currently a candidate running for the position of leader of the Liberal Party of Canada (and eventually the Prime Minister). The interview is posted here.
Tags: Stephane Dion Liberal Party Canada
Tags: Stephane Dion Liberal Party Canada
Thursday, June 01, 2006
How Not To Mess That 'Date'
You know the drill. You come home from one day, planning on just how your Saturday is going to go (out with friends for a 'good' time - maybe even catch the new movie) when all of a sudden your parents ambush you with the biggest grin on their faces.
"It's fixed. We are meeting them tomorrow in the food court of the local mall."
Huh? In the few minutes it takes for you to clear your head, you recall a vague memory of seeing some blurry picture sent to your cousin sister's husband's hotmail (insertfullnametillAdam@hotmail.com). You remember saying 'not bad', and you will 'think about it later'. You also remember making up a quick excuse to leave the room immediately.
Well, now it has come to bite you back in the ass, as you get the first hint that your Saturday is not exactly going to go according to plan.
Compiled from advice from older cousins and friends, here are a few ways of how to deal with the situation.
1. You are going to meet someone. Officially sanctioned by the parents. Ofcourse they will remain ten feet away from you at all times (so you can forget about telling that joke about the Sardar and the pharmacist's daughter). And naturally, family members you never heard of will arrive at the mall. They are all running in the How To Make Things Even More Awkward trophy.
They will ofcourse, accompany you until you sit down at the table opposite your prospect. And suddenly, they will remember they have to check out the new sports shoes they have at Roots (the guys) or the new Dana Carling perfume at Sears (the girls). The extended family aunties meanwhile head to Dollarama.
2. Decide on what you are going to order at the food court. Avoid experimentation at this time. Don't order Columbian spicy cinnamon coffee with drop of mango leaves. It doesn't impress anyone, and you never know what will give you gas. Just get a double double.
3. Don't, EVER, discuss religion. Especially on a first meeting. There is no sane way to come out of that discussion looking good. Religion is personal - you should form your opinion from observation. Similarly, questions such as 'how many kids do you want' or 'do you believe birth control is allowed in the Hanifi sect of Islam' should be relegated to the dustbin.
4. Don't, EVER say 'well I am not ready for marriage at this time'. Why are you here then? To go on a date with ten members of your extended family tagging along? Not to mention making up stories such as 'I went bungee jumping on the Himalayas'.
Feel free to add more tips if you know some.
Tags: Desi
"It's fixed. We are meeting them tomorrow in the food court of the local mall."
Huh? In the few minutes it takes for you to clear your head, you recall a vague memory of seeing some blurry picture sent to your cousin sister's husband's hotmail (insertfullnametillAdam@hotmail.com). You remember saying 'not bad', and you will 'think about it later'. You also remember making up a quick excuse to leave the room immediately.
Well, now it has come to bite you back in the ass, as you get the first hint that your Saturday is not exactly going to go according to plan.
Compiled from advice from older cousins and friends, here are a few ways of how to deal with the situation.
1. You are going to meet someone. Officially sanctioned by the parents. Ofcourse they will remain ten feet away from you at all times (so you can forget about telling that joke about the Sardar and the pharmacist's daughter). And naturally, family members you never heard of will arrive at the mall. They are all running in the How To Make Things Even More Awkward trophy.
They will ofcourse, accompany you until you sit down at the table opposite your prospect. And suddenly, they will remember they have to check out the new sports shoes they have at Roots (the guys) or the new Dana Carling perfume at Sears (the girls). The extended family aunties meanwhile head to Dollarama.
2. Decide on what you are going to order at the food court. Avoid experimentation at this time. Don't order Columbian spicy cinnamon coffee with drop of mango leaves. It doesn't impress anyone, and you never know what will give you gas. Just get a double double.
3. Don't, EVER, discuss religion. Especially on a first meeting. There is no sane way to come out of that discussion looking good. Religion is personal - you should form your opinion from observation. Similarly, questions such as 'how many kids do you want' or 'do you believe birth control is allowed in the Hanifi sect of Islam' should be relegated to the dustbin.
4. Don't, EVER say 'well I am not ready for marriage at this time'. Why are you here then? To go on a date with ten members of your extended family tagging along? Not to mention making up stories such as 'I went bungee jumping on the Himalayas'.
Feel free to add more tips if you know some.
Tags: Desi
Long Weekend BBQ Pictures
I love summer. Give me +40 over -40 anyday. Last time when I went back to the Middle East, it was winter there - which was 25C. I was switching on the A/C while my cousins who lived there were freezing and putting on sweaters. The best part of Canada is the Toronto summer.
We men can cook anything on a grill.
Dodgeball Action - I
Dodgeball Action - II
Dodgeball Action - III - The opposing team plans an attack.
Dodgeball Action - IV - So do we.
Cake is good.
We men can cook anything on a grill.
Dodgeball Action - I
Dodgeball Action - II
Dodgeball Action - III - The opposing team plans an attack.
Dodgeball Action - IV - So do we.
Cake is good.
Monday, May 29, 2006
Toronto Crippled
Tourism Toronto named their promotion campaign Toronto Unlimited. Certainly not the situation in Toronto at the moment.
It took me an insane 2 hours to get to work today. Yes, the Toronto Transit Commission, a slow, cumbersome way to travel at the best of times, decided to go on a wildcat strike. TTC = Take The Car.
This was an illegal strike. In the middle of the duration of your contract, you CANNOT go on strike. The transit workers decided to cherry pick an issue and stage a strike. They should all be fired AND jailed. *rant on* If this was Bangladesh people would be calling in the army, some would be grabbing a hockey stick and beating up the striking workers (well maybe not). I do not condone senseless violence under any condition, but it seems in some dictatorships you get better public/medical service than here in Canada. *rant off*
Our elected officials seem to have no spine. Native protestors dig up a road in Caledonia and all the government can do is urge people to "be nice" (while they are tearing down hydro poles) *rolls eyes*.
The TTC union went on strike because they knew there would be ZERO consequences for their actions, except causing an inconvenience to 3 million people (but what do they care). The government should ARREST the union leaders, as well as every third driver or worker on strike (since you cannot arrest everyone). And the police should stick to their guns and remain firm, and throw those guys in jail for a month or two. Repeat for other illegal strikes.
If they do that, the next time a union decides to hold a city hostage by an illegal strike, they will think again.
I honestly cannot understand what the hell do some of those fat TTC workers do? Sit in a cushy chair in a comfortable booth and watch people pour coins through a slot. Fire the lot I say, and get automated gates and smart cards. And you want workers? There are so many recent immigrants ready to work for the TTC. And in my opinion, unlike the current seemingly good-for-nothing bastards, they will PROUDLY show up to work.
Tags: Toronto TTC Illegal Strike
It took me an insane 2 hours to get to work today. Yes, the Toronto Transit Commission, a slow, cumbersome way to travel at the best of times, decided to go on a wildcat strike. TTC = Take The Car.
This was an illegal strike. In the middle of the duration of your contract, you CANNOT go on strike. The transit workers decided to cherry pick an issue and stage a strike. They should all be fired AND jailed. *rant on* If this was Bangladesh people would be calling in the army, some would be grabbing a hockey stick and beating up the striking workers (well maybe not). I do not condone senseless violence under any condition, but it seems in some dictatorships you get better public/medical service than here in Canada. *rant off*
Our elected officials seem to have no spine. Native protestors dig up a road in Caledonia and all the government can do is urge people to "be nice" (while they are tearing down hydro poles) *rolls eyes*.
The TTC union went on strike because they knew there would be ZERO consequences for their actions, except causing an inconvenience to 3 million people (but what do they care). The government should ARREST the union leaders, as well as every third driver or worker on strike (since you cannot arrest everyone). And the police should stick to their guns and remain firm, and throw those guys in jail for a month or two. Repeat for other illegal strikes.
If they do that, the next time a union decides to hold a city hostage by an illegal strike, they will think again.
I honestly cannot understand what the hell do some of those fat TTC workers do? Sit in a cushy chair in a comfortable booth and watch people pour coins through a slot. Fire the lot I say, and get automated gates and smart cards. And you want workers? There are so many recent immigrants ready to work for the TTC. And in my opinion, unlike the current seemingly good-for-nothing bastards, they will PROUDLY show up to work.
Tags: Toronto TTC Illegal Strike
The Blind Girl's Movie
For most of us, the Plan is clearly designed. When the time comes, our parents will try and arrange our marriages. Our focus, they ensure us, should be our studies that will prepare us for a stable future. Once we are settled in life, a bevy of candidates are thrown at us, of whom we pick a few - perhaps because they look good or sound interesting from a paper known as the 'bio-data'. Eventually, it all clicks and we end up married to a person we barely know but slowly grow to love over time. That's the Plan.
With all this, there are certain rules - we can have friends of the opposite sex, but that's it. There are certain lines that we cannot cross. We cannot be too flirty, we cannot 'play the field', we cannot dare to fall in love. We must keep the honour of the family and think with our heads, rather than live for the moment. It's all OK, because it will all work out in the end.
But what if you are blind? Deaf? Dumb? Have a disability? Suddenly, the rules don't seem to make sense anymore. Who will marry a blind person? Will he or she ever experience the love of another person?
Yes, I watched Fanaa, the new big movie starring Aamir Khan and Kajol. Those were the questions that were thrown at the beginning of the movie, and some stay with you till the end. All the main characters in the movie were Muslims. Should a blind girl, who admonishes her hero for skipping work as it goes against her values, or asks her parents for permission to marry the love of her life, decide to follow her heart and break apart all rules because she knows she may never experience love again? There is one point where she tells her friend - 'this feels right. And that's all I care'.
The movie was predictable to a huge extent, but given the hype and buildup, I am pretty sure it will make lots of money. Woodside was crowded when we went, and sold out. And like the Plan, there is one more fact that is constantly in the design when I see a movie at Woodside.
A guy with a huge turban or head will ALWAYS sit in front of me.
Update: A review that hits the spot perfectly.
Tags: Fanaa Desi
With all this, there are certain rules - we can have friends of the opposite sex, but that's it. There are certain lines that we cannot cross. We cannot be too flirty, we cannot 'play the field', we cannot dare to fall in love. We must keep the honour of the family and think with our heads, rather than live for the moment. It's all OK, because it will all work out in the end.
But what if you are blind? Deaf? Dumb? Have a disability? Suddenly, the rules don't seem to make sense anymore. Who will marry a blind person? Will he or she ever experience the love of another person?
Yes, I watched Fanaa, the new big movie starring Aamir Khan and Kajol. Those were the questions that were thrown at the beginning of the movie, and some stay with you till the end. All the main characters in the movie were Muslims. Should a blind girl, who admonishes her hero for skipping work as it goes against her values, or asks her parents for permission to marry the love of her life, decide to follow her heart and break apart all rules because she knows she may never experience love again? There is one point where she tells her friend - 'this feels right. And that's all I care'.
The movie was predictable to a huge extent, but given the hype and buildup, I am pretty sure it will make lots of money. Woodside was crowded when we went, and sold out. And like the Plan, there is one more fact that is constantly in the design when I see a movie at Woodside.
A guy with a huge turban or head will ALWAYS sit in front of me.
Update: A review that hits the spot perfectly.
Shiney Ahuja. Poor Shiney Ahuja. One would think he would have offers pouring in after 'Hazaaron khwahishen aisi' and 'Gangster'. I wonder what made him accept the script that listed his part as follows: 'Play football. Answer call. Drink tea. Die.'
Tags: Fanaa Desi
Friday, May 26, 2006
Mosque Candy
It was a strange sequence of events that found me at 10.30 pm on this Friday night inside a mosque rather than inside a cinema theatre watching X-men 3, or shooting some pool at a sports bar or bowling at an alley. I was at a friend's place away from the TO and he lived right next to the biggest mosque in that town. It was Isha time, the weather was nice and I wanted to go for a walk.
As I sat waiting for the prayers to start, I began to categorize the people present into groups. The older folk could have come straight from Pakistan/India/B'desh. Many still wore their shalwaar kameezes (with huge tea-stains at the corners), or were dressed in their thobes, stroking their footlong beards, their heads adorned with caps that had multiple patterned beads on it.
Then there was a group of young guys, around my age. They were seated in a circle, listening to some speaker in the center. They were dressed in long garbs, with jackets on top, and their heads covered in either caps or hoods. All had huge beards. Bits and pieces of the speaker's talk floated to me.
" ... must remain steadfast to our faith ..."
" ... be humble and kind ..."
" ... true salvation is in serving Allah ..."
Here, all this time, as I looked at those young people, I thought, 'boy, I have absolutely nothing in common with them'. Maybe it was just boredom but I was stereotyping these guys as strict conservative types.
I am used to our university crowd at the mosques - dressed in shirts, trousers or T-shirts and jeans. Beard is minimal (smartly trimmed or none at all), hair styled back, and so on. Guys who would pray and then drive off to the multiplex or mall.
I was a brown Muslim guy in a mosque filled with other brown Muslim guys and I felt like fish-out-of-water for some reason. How would a white convert feel?
Suddenly, a cellphone rang from somewhere. It was from one of those young men in the halaka circle. Frantically, he moved his hands from stroking his beard to searching the pockets of his dishdasha for the cellphone.
And why not? For the ringtone, in clear, loud, audible words to the rest of the congregation, was
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
Maybe we have something in common with these guys after all.
Tags: Mosque Cellphone
As I sat waiting for the prayers to start, I began to categorize the people present into groups. The older folk could have come straight from Pakistan/India/B'desh. Many still wore their shalwaar kameezes (with huge tea-stains at the corners), or were dressed in their thobes, stroking their footlong beards, their heads adorned with caps that had multiple patterned beads on it.
Then there was a group of young guys, around my age. They were seated in a circle, listening to some speaker in the center. They were dressed in long garbs, with jackets on top, and their heads covered in either caps or hoods. All had huge beards. Bits and pieces of the speaker's talk floated to me.
" ... must remain steadfast to our faith ..."
" ... be humble and kind ..."
" ... true salvation is in serving Allah ..."
Here, all this time, as I looked at those young people, I thought, 'boy, I have absolutely nothing in common with them'. Maybe it was just boredom but I was stereotyping these guys as strict conservative types.
I am used to our university crowd at the mosques - dressed in shirts, trousers or T-shirts and jeans. Beard is minimal (smartly trimmed or none at all), hair styled back, and so on. Guys who would pray and then drive off to the multiplex or mall.
I was a brown Muslim guy in a mosque filled with other brown Muslim guys and I felt like fish-out-of-water for some reason. How would a white convert feel?
Suddenly, a cellphone rang from somewhere. It was from one of those young men in the halaka circle. Frantically, he moved his hands from stroking his beard to searching the pockets of his dishdasha for the cellphone.
And why not? For the ringtone, in clear, loud, audible words to the rest of the congregation, was
I take you to the candy shop
I'll let you lick the lollypop
Go 'head girl, don't you stop
Keep goin 'til you hit the spot (whoa)
Maybe we have something in common with these guys after all.
Tags: Mosque Cellphone
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
The Da Vinci Code
Watched the Da Vinci Code on Saturday evening. Even though I enjoyed the movie, I wish I didn't watch it then as I was really tired (we got the midnight show as all else were sold out, and this was after a day of BBQs, dodgeball games and 'sari' races). If you have read the book, you will definitely enjoy the movie. If you haven't - well my friends who are in that category said they enjoyed the movie too. But you definitely have to be a bit smart to follow some of the plot.
And like, duh, the book is waaaay better. Obviously as you can do a lot more in the book. However, this is a very faithful adaptation of the book.
A word about Tom Hanks. Is this the same actor who was in Forrest Gump? What a lousy job he did in the Da Vinci Code.
About the protests spanning the globe - there's even fatwas issued by Indian Catholics on Dan Brown's head, proving that Muslims don't have a monopoly here - given the topic of the movie and the way the Catholic Church is portrayed, I would expect that. What I don't get is the number of Muslims (not a lot) who protested. There was even a march on Friday outside the mosque I went to for prayers.
For .. um, Chrissake, why? Given that 95% of what the Da Vinci Code says (I don't want to give spoilers here) is what Islam believes happened to early Christianity, I don't get it.
Tags: Da Vinci Code
And like, duh, the book is waaaay better. Obviously as you can do a lot more in the book. However, this is a very faithful adaptation of the book.
A word about Tom Hanks. Is this the same actor who was in Forrest Gump? What a lousy job he did in the Da Vinci Code.
About the protests spanning the globe - there's even fatwas issued by Indian Catholics on Dan Brown's head, proving that Muslims don't have a monopoly here - given the topic of the movie and the way the Catholic Church is portrayed, I would expect that. What I don't get is the number of Muslims (not a lot) who protested. There was even a march on Friday outside the mosque I went to for prayers.
For .. um, Chrissake, why? Given that 95% of what the Da Vinci Code says (I don't want to give spoilers here) is what Islam believes happened to early Christianity, I don't get it.
Tags: Da Vinci Code
Monday, May 15, 2006
At The Bank
The smiles we wear ...
I was in the bank today during lunch, waiting to deposit a cheque. In front of me were a couple. They looked lovingly at each other, had their hands in each others' rear pockets, and informed the teller they wished to visit their safety deposit box. To the world, it was just another happily married(?) couple.
Except that the couple were two balding middle-aged guys.
Living in liberal Canada, we see a lot of wild stuff, and we become desensitized to it. However, the sight of two gay men still strikes most people as a tad too much. Yes, you have your rights, just ... stay the hell away from me, seems to be the attitude.
It was interesting watching the teller's reactions. She was a young, 20-something blond girl, and as she looked up, ready with the smile that says 'Next', her face froze ... momentarily. Then she recovered and asked 'How may I help you?' before verifying their signatures and leading them off to the locker rooms. As she came back, I saw her give an involuntary shudder before fixing her smile back into place and announcing, 'May I help the next person, please?'
The lane besides me was having an argument. An older Chinese gent was ... loudly ... yelling at the cashier (an Indian woman - do banks hire any male tellers?) that his cheques were in order. The teller was trying, unsuccessfully, to a)calm him down b)explain that the cheques needed to be countersigned by his wife c)stop herself from blowing up. My teller, seeing the situation, told the Chinese guy 'she's just doing her job, it's bank procedure', before the customer again exploded as to 'how the bank should know he was his wife's husband and why they needed her signature when he was here and why ... blah blah blah."
In the end the Indian lady just got a Chinese teller to speak with him, while she herself gave him the cold shoulder. And the look. After he left, she turned to the next guy in line, smiled and said 'Hi. How are you today?'
It was so surreal. It was as if the incident with the previous customer was already forgotten. She was all smiles and hellos and other such niceties - but I guess that's good customer service. Reminded me of those news readers who would read a shocking piece of news followed by fluff in an equally unperturbed manner.
"[with grim voice] Authorities say five people are dead, including a child as young as five, in the shocking murder of a family that has stunned the small New Brunswick town with its brutality.
[pearly white smile comes on] In another piece of news, it's Baby One More Time again for Britney Spears, who has confirmed reports of her pregnancy ..."
Tags: Toronto Bank
I was in the bank today during lunch, waiting to deposit a cheque. In front of me were a couple. They looked lovingly at each other, had their hands in each others' rear pockets, and informed the teller they wished to visit their safety deposit box. To the world, it was just another happily married(?) couple.
Except that the couple were two balding middle-aged guys.
Living in liberal Canada, we see a lot of wild stuff, and we become desensitized to it. However, the sight of two gay men still strikes most people as a tad too much. Yes, you have your rights, just ... stay the hell away from me, seems to be the attitude.
It was interesting watching the teller's reactions. She was a young, 20-something blond girl, and as she looked up, ready with the smile that says 'Next', her face froze ... momentarily. Then she recovered and asked 'How may I help you?' before verifying their signatures and leading them off to the locker rooms. As she came back, I saw her give an involuntary shudder before fixing her smile back into place and announcing, 'May I help the next person, please?'
The lane besides me was having an argument. An older Chinese gent was ... loudly ... yelling at the cashier (an Indian woman - do banks hire any male tellers?) that his cheques were in order. The teller was trying, unsuccessfully, to a)calm him down b)explain that the cheques needed to be countersigned by his wife c)stop herself from blowing up. My teller, seeing the situation, told the Chinese guy 'she's just doing her job, it's bank procedure', before the customer again exploded as to 'how the bank should know he was his wife's husband and why they needed her signature when he was here and why ... blah blah blah."
In the end the Indian lady just got a Chinese teller to speak with him, while she herself gave him the cold shoulder. And the look. After he left, she turned to the next guy in line, smiled and said 'Hi. How are you today?'
It was so surreal. It was as if the incident with the previous customer was already forgotten. She was all smiles and hellos and other such niceties - but I guess that's good customer service. Reminded me of those news readers who would read a shocking piece of news followed by fluff in an equally unperturbed manner.
"[with grim voice] Authorities say five people are dead, including a child as young as five, in the shocking murder of a family that has stunned the small New Brunswick town with its brutality.
[pearly white smile comes on] In another piece of news, it's Baby One More Time again for Britney Spears, who has confirmed reports of her pregnancy ..."
Tags: Toronto Bank
Friday, May 12, 2006
Making My Family Tree
They were showing the myths discussed in the Da Vinci Code on the History Channel and mentioned a document tracing the genealogy of Christ - a family tree, if you will. The mention of those words made me reminisce about a particular incident from my childhood.
It was during my summer vacations, usually spent in Bangladesh. I must have been around ten. Now, when I used to travel from the Middle East to Bangladesh, it would mean losing connection with all my friends for two months, as well as giving up my favourite TV programs. I am talking before satellite channels (and the internet), and all of Bangladesh used to have one channel - BTV (still does). The only good program on BTV was Wednesdays, 10 pm, MacGyver. And this was if I was in Dhaka, and the power was there. For three days on every trip, however, my parents would go to our ancestral village. Which meant, for me, not even TV.
I used to be quite bored while in the village. First, as I mentioned, no TV. Second, thewashroomstoilets used to be ... disgusting. The elders did nothing but chew bidi and paan and have red teeth. The young kids thought nothing of playing football in the mud. And no one knew of Sherlock Holmes! And if you think I would have a fun time with my cousins, think again. All my cousins who lived in the village were a) older than me and planning to pressure my dad to get them a visa, any visa, to Dubai b) younger than me who thought nothing of grabbing a cockroach and tearing off its legs one at a time. All the cool cousins were in Dhaka, it seemed.
So there I was, at midday, sitting all alone, reading my Tintin comic for the fourth time, when my dad walks in.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"I am BORED." Little spoilt me complained.
"Well, your Riaz bhaia's playing football." My dad offered.
I looked at him in shock. "It's raining outside. And the ball is not even Nike!"
My dad then had a bright idea. "Tell you what, why don't we make a family tree? It will teach you a bit about our family. We are descended from Isa Kha, you know.
So he asked me to get a piece of paper. Which proved easier said than done. At that time the only papers one could find there were newsprint papers attached to school notebooks, which my cousins were reluctant to part with (for some reason there was always paper when the elders were playing cards). I finallygot stole one notebook.
"Ok," my dad said. "Write your great-grandfather's name down. It's so-and-so."
I wrote it down.
"Now we are going to note the names of his kids."
At that moment my uncle popped his head into the room and asked us what we were doing.
"Making a family tree." I replied. I had to explain what that was.
"Oh." My uncle popped his head out and started to shout, "Maqsud! Shamim! Faiza! Poppy! Rana! Come here! WE ARE MAKING A FAMILY TREE."
Suddenly there were 10 people in the room. I drew four lines under my great grandfather's name and asked, "so how many kids did he have?"
"Wait." My uncle interrupted. "There was 4 ... no 5 ... but that was from his first wife. From his second ..."
"He had HOW many wives?" I asked incredulously. At that age polygamy was unknown to me.
"Three." My dad replied quite matter-of-factly. I quickly added a few more lines under my great grandfather's name. 17 kids, to be precise. I was going to need the whole notebook.
And that's how it continued. It was funny how everyone 3 generations ago had 2 or 3 wives and atleast 15 kids (not counting those that died in infancy). The next generation may have children in single digits (like 9) but could still have 2 wives. The following generation had 1 wife and only 3 or 4 kids.
When we were finally done, half the village was in that room. Everyone kept reminding me of someone I had forgotten "but what about Kamal the son of Quddus the ...". It had taken 13 papers, 2 hours, and we found out we were related to the village MP's eldest daughter-in-law.
I still have those papers. And come to think of it, that one afternoon was some of the best 2 hours I had spent.
Tags: Bangladesh Desi
It was during my summer vacations, usually spent in Bangladesh. I must have been around ten. Now, when I used to travel from the Middle East to Bangladesh, it would mean losing connection with all my friends for two months, as well as giving up my favourite TV programs. I am talking before satellite channels (and the internet), and all of Bangladesh used to have one channel - BTV (still does). The only good program on BTV was Wednesdays, 10 pm, MacGyver. And this was if I was in Dhaka, and the power was there. For three days on every trip, however, my parents would go to our ancestral village. Which meant, for me, not even TV.
I used to be quite bored while in the village. First, as I mentioned, no TV. Second, the
So there I was, at midday, sitting all alone, reading my Tintin comic for the fourth time, when my dad walks in.
"What are you doing?" He asks.
"I am BORED." Little spoilt me complained.
"Well, your Riaz bhaia's playing football." My dad offered.
I looked at him in shock. "It's raining outside. And the ball is not even Nike!"
My dad then had a bright idea. "Tell you what, why don't we make a family tree? It will teach you a bit about our family. We are descended from Isa Kha, you know.
So he asked me to get a piece of paper. Which proved easier said than done. At that time the only papers one could find there were newsprint papers attached to school notebooks, which my cousins were reluctant to part with (for some reason there was always paper when the elders were playing cards). I finally
"Ok," my dad said. "Write your great-grandfather's name down. It's so-and-so."
I wrote it down.
"Now we are going to note the names of his kids."
At that moment my uncle popped his head into the room and asked us what we were doing.
"Making a family tree." I replied. I had to explain what that was.
"Oh." My uncle popped his head out and started to shout, "Maqsud! Shamim! Faiza! Poppy! Rana! Come here! WE ARE MAKING A FAMILY TREE."
Suddenly there were 10 people in the room. I drew four lines under my great grandfather's name and asked, "so how many kids did he have?"
"Wait." My uncle interrupted. "There was 4 ... no 5 ... but that was from his first wife. From his second ..."
"He had HOW many wives?" I asked incredulously. At that age polygamy was unknown to me.
"Three." My dad replied quite matter-of-factly. I quickly added a few more lines under my great grandfather's name. 17 kids, to be precise. I was going to need the whole notebook.
And that's how it continued. It was funny how everyone 3 generations ago had 2 or 3 wives and atleast 15 kids (not counting those that died in infancy). The next generation may have children in single digits (like 9) but could still have 2 wives. The following generation had 1 wife and only 3 or 4 kids.
When we were finally done, half the village was in that room. Everyone kept reminding me of someone I had forgotten "but what about Kamal the son of Quddus the ...". It had taken 13 papers, 2 hours, and we found out we were related to the village MP's eldest daughter-in-law.
I still have those papers. And come to think of it, that one afternoon was some of the best 2 hours I had spent.
Tags: Bangladesh Desi
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Did You Say 'Heads'?
The new Canadian quarter. I got this amongst my change today. I wonder what would happen in a cricket match at the toss were you to use to this coin and call 'Heads'? If it lands as in the first picture, you win normally. However, if it lands as in the second picture, you did say Heads (with the plural). Are two heads better than one?
Did you say 'Heads'?
Tags: Canada Coin Toss
Did you say 'Heads'?
Tags: Canada Coin Toss
Monday, May 08, 2006
Go Watch MI3
If you like action movies go watch Mission Impossible 3.
Ditto if you are a guy.
If you are a girl, Tom Cruise is in the movie. He's almost Shah Rukh Khan, right? Go watch the movie.
This was the perfect blockbuster to kickoff the summer (even if Toronto is going through a cold spell). Not once did I glance at the clock. Unlike MI-1, the plot is linear and not too complicated. It's basically an excuse to go from one action scene to the next. Unlike MI-2, the movie kept me at the edge of my seat and never lagged once. At one stage when Ethan Hunt (Cruise) was about to attempt another dangerous stunt I was like 'Bismillah Bismillah' before scolding myself 'Mezba - get a grip, it's just a movie, chill'. It was that absorbing.
I have often heard the phrase 'leave your brains at home' (usually in connection with some awful Govinda movies) but this is the first time I can say, you don't need to think too much. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Three points if you can guess which other famous movie the junior male spy (the other spy besides Ethan and the black dude) acted in. As well as the villain's female bodyguard, remember where you have seen her?
So yes, go and watch the movie.
Now, on the other hand, if you hate Tom Cruise ... well, you should know people disagree with my movie reviews. I hated Rang De Basanti and enjoyed Lord of War.
Tags: Mission Impossible 3
Ditto if you are a guy.
If you are a girl, Tom Cruise is in the movie. He's almost Shah Rukh Khan, right? Go watch the movie.
This was the perfect blockbuster to kickoff the summer (even if Toronto is going through a cold spell). Not once did I glance at the clock. Unlike MI-1, the plot is linear and not too complicated. It's basically an excuse to go from one action scene to the next. Unlike MI-2, the movie kept me at the edge of my seat and never lagged once. At one stage when Ethan Hunt (Cruise) was about to attempt another dangerous stunt I was like 'Bismillah Bismillah' before scolding myself 'Mezba - get a grip, it's just a movie, chill'. It was that absorbing.
I have often heard the phrase 'leave your brains at home' (usually in connection with some awful Govinda movies) but this is the first time I can say, you don't need to think too much. Just buckle up and enjoy the ride.
Three points if you can guess which other famous movie the junior male spy (the other spy besides Ethan and the black dude) acted in. As well as the villain's female bodyguard, remember where you have seen her?
So yes, go and watch the movie.
Now, on the other hand, if you hate Tom Cruise ... well, you should know people disagree with my movie reviews. I hated Rang De Basanti and enjoyed Lord of War.
Tags: Mission Impossible 3
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