Random Rant

Dear Human Beings,

As you know I normally use this blog to sprout my brilliant ideas to change the face of the twenty first century Earth. However, occasionally I go through a boring weekend where I have nothing to do but think. Here are some random thoughts that had been bugging me for a while.

I realized despite building pyramids that stand to this day and other such marvels, ancient Egyptians couldn't have been too smart. They used to sacrifice virgins to appease the Goddess of the River Nile so it would flood and help their crops.

What a waste of a virgin.

If you do have to sacrifice anyone, why not some old people? I am pretty sure you could round up a few relatives who people would gladly volunteer. We all know virgins are rare and non-recyclable.

Or maybe, those Egyptian high priests were smart after all. Someone had to "test" whether she was a virgin ...

Then we come to the Islamic world. Somewhere in our books it is said that in the end times, there will be one guy looking after 50 women. Yet, despite this brilliant prediction, we try to persecute gay guys. What gives?

Think of it this way, the more guys that are gay - the more women that are left for the straight men! So, if one guy is gay, suddenly you can look after 100 women! Why doesn't anyone think like that? If your main competitor looks good, cooks great, knows all the floral combinations and has a keen fashion sense, wouldn't you rather he be gay?

Then we come to the modern era. Lately I have started to realize that some people are so stupid that they are too stupid to be properly stupid, y'know what I mean?

For example, dear Dell Technical Support guy. Could you please NOT tell me your name is Harry? It seems EVERY guy in Dell Technical Support is called Harry. When we all know it's really Hariharam Sundarlal Singh Jhunjhunwala.

Be imaginative man! If you have to pick a name, pick a cool one. How about Guru?

"Hi! Your laptop not working? I am Guru and I will help you."

And they never help you! All they ask you is to reboot and press F12 to run the diagnostic. And then they say "Oh it's supposed to be working, we'll just send you a new one."

Second, we come to Toronto drivers. This is the mantra we follow. When there is snow and ice on the road, of course we can speed. I mean, if we can't see the speed limit sign, that means speed limits don't exist any more, right? And why contribute to light pollution by switching on our lights? Be dark and mysterious, I say.

Third, do we really need democracy? In the past few weeks, the non-elected caretaker government of Bangladesh has arrested all the top evil politicians (barring the main culprits - the two ladies) and charged them with corruption. In the last two weeks they showed more balls than the previous government did in five years. When the US Ambassador Patricia A Butenis tried to interfere in our local politics, the caretaker government's minister actually had the guts to tell her to f*** off. She got so emotionally disturbed she is now taking an assignment to Iraq. Iraq!

Now that's called scaring someone off when they prefer Iraq to Bangladesh.

So it was a crappy weekend with lots of snow and cold and sun. How that combination is possible only God knows.

Confession: These two females threw themselves at me last night in bed and would not budge.

Current mood: Sleepy. Tired.